Creating Rapport with the Habitually Disruptive Student
1. Creating Rapport with the
Habitually Disruptive Student
Child Guidance Interventions for Children with Special Needs
2. Are you having more negative interactions than
positive interactions with a disruptive and acting-out
student? Your ability to influence and to persuade a
disruptive student toward appropriate classroom
behavior is contingent upon the bond, or rapport,
established between the child and yourself. By
applying basic child guidance principles, you can
shift the balance from negative interactions and
harsh comments to positive interactions and
constructive dialogue. Some guidelines follow.
3. Develop the Ability to Distance Yourself from
the Acting-Out Behavior
Increase your tolerance threshold to disruptive and
acting out behaviors; downplay mild disruptive
behaviors and allow behaviors that deviate from
what is standard or “appropriate.” Do not personalize
the student’s behavior, and avoid reacting
emotionally. Emotional reactivity to what the student
says or does is the number one reason why
interactions between teachers and students
degenerate into conflict, and also the main reason
why a conversation can turn into an argument.
Remember that teacher tension can often stir up a
crisis.
4. Shift your attention away from his acting-out
behavior and toward increasing recognition of those
times where the child is exhibiting positive behavior
and is interacting appropriately. For example, you
see the child sharing his coloring materials with
another student; tell the child and celebrate. It will
require a conscious effort on your part to notice and
to reinforce positive behavior (a smile and a friendly
remark can be extremely rewarding to any child),
while downplaying mild negative behaviors.
5. Avoid judgments, putdowns, and lectures. In
addition, avoid making comparisons between the
student and other students in the classroom.
Adopt a non-blaming attitude; instead, focus on
developing positive ways of interacting with the
student, rather than in identifying and disciplining
inappropriate or negative behaviors. In other words,
do not be a “Got you!” teacher.
Focus on developing equality with the student, not
domination.
6. As a first step in distancing yourself, and the child,
from the problem behavior, a well-known strategy to
use is the naming the disorder technique. Borrowed
from psychology, this technique consists in using a
nickname (e.g., Lucy Three-Eyes) to name the
acting-out behavior. Lucy Three-Eyes is the common
enemy or problem, the child is not the problem. In
other words, the “symptom” (acting-out behavior) is
maladaptive, not the child. When you name the
problem behavior, rather than naming the student,
you are not only identifying the common enemy that
you are both dealing with, but you are also giving
yourself the opportunity to create an alliance with the
student to defeat this common enemy.
7. Be alert, and recognize the warning signals (e.g.,
when the student seems ready to start a fight). See
them as signals, not as personality traits or as a
reflection of the student’s character. Join the student
in defeating Lucy Three-Eyes, which helps you in
reinforcing your bond or alliance with the student
rather than alienating yourself from the child.
8. Address the Student’s Disruptive Behavior
as Actions Capable of Change
This is a basic child guidance principle that, when
remembered and applied consistently, can turn a chaotic
scenario between a teacher and a habitually disruptive
student into a therapeutic interaction. While you should
be distancing yourself from the problem behavior, you
should not distance yourself from the child. At all times,
you should be working in building rapport with this
student. Rapport with the child will be your best tool
during difficult times.
To strengthen your rapport with the child, know the
student: what he likes, what angers him, what he is
fearful of, what his goals and aspirations are, and to what
he responds positively. At difficult times, listen to the
student and understand his point of view.
9. Develop a mindset that recognizes all students’
worth and potential, and always address children’s
problem behaviors as actions that can change and
will change.
Remember, and let the student know, that she does
her behavior, but she is not her behavior. See the
disruptive and acting-out behavior as a challenge for
both you and the student to master, and see yourself
as a strategist and as a problem-solver. When
managing disruptive and acting-out students, always
remember that you are a professional doing a highly
demanding and challenging job.
10. During disruptive and acting-out episodes, shift from
name-calling to mutual problem-solving.
Develop the mindset, and tell the student, that
behavioral self-control can be learned.
Be flexible and capable of adjusting to any situation.
11. Recognize and Celebrate Small
Improvements
Remember that the student will become successful
when he has successful experiences. Initially ignore
or downplay setbacks. You might say, “That’s okay,
tomorrow will be another day to try,” and praise the
child’s effort. This way, the child will not interpret any
setback as a failure.
When you are training the student in behavioral self-
control, often you will have to accept approximations
to the goals (preferred behavior), or only one aspect
of the job done well. When this happens, adjust your
expectations; for example, create sub-goals, and
work, slowly but steady, in mastering one-step at a
time.
12. When you coach the student, suggest directions,
and guide the child in trying out new ways of
behaving. Your directions should be tentative; you
should not insist, and you should not tell the student
what to do.
Acknowledge that the student has the internal
resources she needs to self-manage her behavior.
Your job is to notice these resources, to make the
student aware of them, and to engage the student in
using her strengths in creating positive behavioral
change.
13. Psychoeducation for Teachers
The guiding principle in child guidance is that all
therapeutic interventions are essentially verbal
interventions, most specifically, carefully crafted
ways of talking to gradually shift a distraught or
troubled child from a state of agitation and
helplessness into a more resourceful state of
resolution
14. Connect with Psychoeducation for
Teachers Online
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