Learn how to protect yourself and your family using the resources we do have in North Carolina.

1. MAKING LEMONADE:
Learn how to protect
yourself and your
family using the
resources we do
have in North
Carolina.

2. THIS PRESENTATION IS BROUGHT TO YOU
BY:
ANGELA L. HAAS & JENNIFER THARRINGTON
of
AND
THOM NGUYEN of

3. DISCLAIMER: THIS DOCUMENT WAS DESIGNGED FOR INFORMATIONAL
PURPOSES ONLY, AND AS A GENERAL REFERENCE WORK. THE READER IS
ADVISED TO CHECK FOR CHANGES TO CURRENT LAW AND TO CONSULT
WITH A QUALIFIED ATTORNEY ON ANY LEGAL ISSUE. THE INFORMATION
CONTAINED HEREIN SHOULD NOT BE CONSTRUED TO BE FORMAL LEGAL
ADVICE, NOR SHALL THE RECEIPT OR USE OF THIS DOCUMENT FORM AN
ATTORNEY/CLIENT RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN ANY ATTORNEY OR LAW FIRM
DISSEMINATING THIS INFORMATION AND ANY RECIPIENT THEREOF.
BECAUSE THE INFORMATION CONTAINED IN THIS DOCUMENT IS PREPARED
FOR A GENREAL AUDIENCE, IT DOES NOT CONSTITUTE LEGAL ADVICE, AND
ALL RECIPIENTS OF THIS DOCUMENT SHOULD CONSULT WITH AN ATTORNEY
PRIOR TO SIGNING ANY INSTRUMENT TO ENSURE THAT HE/SHE RECEIVES
APPROPRIATE LEGAL ADVICE REGARDING THE SPECIFICS OF HIS/HER
SITUATION. THERE ARE NO GUARANTEES THAT THE INFORMATION
CONTAINED HEREIN IS ACCURATE, COMPLETE, OR ADEQUATE. THE
ATTORNEYS AND LAW FIRM OF HAAS & ASSOCIATES, P.A. MAKE NO
WARRANTIES AND DISCLAIM ANY AND ALL LIABILITY FOR DAMAGES
RESULTING FROM THE USE OF THIS DOCUMENT. THE LAWS IN THIS AREA
ARE CONSTANTLY CHANGING AND LEGAL ADVICE MUST BE TAILORED TO
THE SPECIFIC CIRCUMSTANCES OF EACH CASE, SO NOTHING PROVIDED IN
THIS DOCUMENT/PRESENTATION SHOULD BE USED AS A SUBSTITUTE FOR
THE ADVICE OF COMPETENT COUNSEL.

4. GOT LEMONS?
 North Carolina has taken a number of steps BACKWARDS
recently in the acknowledgement, provision, and protection of
rights for LGBT individuals, couples, and families.
 In the midst of the anger, disappointment, and fear related to the
deprivation of equality, many LGBT citizens come to believe that
they have no way to protect themselves and their families.
 The purpose of this workshop is to inform and encourage LGBT
people to pursue the options that are still available to them.
 Don’t let the disappointment turn into apathy.
MAKE LEMONADE!

5. AMENDMENT ONE
State Constitutional Amendment
passed in May, 2012 that makes
marriage between one man and one woman
the only recognized domestic legal union in
North Carolina.

6. Since we don’t have access to marriage in North Carolina, we
also don’t have access to divorce (which provides laws for
property distribution upon dissolution of the relationship). This
means that same-sex partners, particularly those who own
property together, are often at the mercy of inconsistent
judges and laws that were not designed to address domestic
property disputes. This can result in bizarre outcomes that are
often unfair to both parties.
DID YOU KNOW? Same-sex couples who do not have a
domestic partnership agreement may be forced to file a
Petition to Partition in order to resolve a property dispute. The
property is then allocated based on contribution.

7. Ok, so we can’t get married in this state
(nor will our out of state/country marriages
be recognized in this state),
what do we do now?

8. RECIPE FOR
AMENDMENT ONE LEMONADE:
DOMESTIC PARTNERSHIP
AGREEMENT
PROPER ESTATE PLANNING
PROPER FINANCIAL PLANNING

9. DOMESTIC PARTNERSHIP
AGREEMENT
A contract between two parties that
sets out each party’s rights and
responsibilities both during the
relationship, and in the event that it
were to end.

10. HOW CAN I GET A
DOMESTIC PARTNERSHIP AGREEMENT?
IDEAL: Hire an attorney (who is competent in LGBT family law) to draft
your domestic partnership agreement.
Better than nothing: Draw up an agreement between the two of you
that addresses the following issues:
 Who is going to pay for what during the relationship?
 Who is going to move out if you split up?
 What is going to happen to the joint property if you split up?
This is particularly important with jointly owned real estate.
 How are joint accounts going to be divided if you split up?
(Based on contribution? 50/50?)
 Make sure both partners sign the document in front of a NOTARY.
 See Handout # 1

11. STATE OF NORTH CAROLINA )
) DOMESTIC PARTNERSHIP
COUNTY OF _______________ ) AGREEMENT
THIS DOMESTIC PARTNERSHIP AGREEMENT (hereinafter referred to as the
“Agreement”) by and between ________________________, a citizen and
resident of ___________County, North Carolina, and
________________________, a citizen and resident of
___________County, North Carolina shall become effective as of the date that it
has been executed by each party hereto;
WHEREAS, the parties intend to establish a domestic partnership and desire to
set forth their agreements and expectations regarding their
finances, property, and other rights and obligations arising out of their domestic
partnership.
NOW, THEREFORE, in consideration of the mutual promises and agreements
herein contained, the parties hereto agree as follows:

12. NO MORE
SECOND PARENT ADOPTION
In December, 2010, the North Carolina
Supreme Court declared second parent
adoptions in North Carolina void ab initio
in the landmark case, Boseman v. Jarrell.

13. Ok, so my partner cannot adopt my
biological/legal child in North Carolina.
What do we do now?

14. RECIPE FOR
SPA-FREE LEMONADE:
 PARENTING AGREEEMENT
 AUTHORIZATION FOR HEALTHCARE OF A MINOR
 JOINT PHYSICAL AND LEGAL CUSTODY
 STANDBY GUARDIANSHIP (limited)
 HOLD YOURSELVES OUT AS PARENTS
 PROPER ESTATE PLANNING
 PROPER FINANCIAL PLANNING

15. PARENTING AGREEEMENT
 A contract between the parents that explicitly states the
intent of the parties regarding each party’s rights and
responsibilities for the child. Intent of biological/legal
parent VERY IMPORTANT (See Handout).
AUTHORIZATION FOR HEALTHCARE OF MINOR
 Authority granted by legal parent for non-legal parent to
obtain medical assistance for child.

16. JOINT PHYSICAL AND LEGAL CUSTODY
 A court order granting custody to both parties.
AUTHORIZATION FOR HEALTHCARE OF MINOR
 Authority granted by legal parent for non-legal parent to
obtain medical assistance for child.

17. HOW CAN I GET A
PARENTING AGREEMENT?
IDEAL: Hire an attorney (who is competent in LGBT family law) to
draft your parenting agreement.
Better than nothing: See Handout #2

18. STATE OF NORTH CAROLINA
____________ COUNTY
PARENTING AGREEMENT
THIS PARENTING AGREEMENT between PARENT 1 of _________
County, hereinafter referred to as “(FIRST NAME)” and PARENT 2, hereinafter
referred to as “(FIRST NAME)”of ___________, County, North Carolina, shall
become effective as of the date that it has been executed by each party hereto;
W I T N E S S E T H:
THAT, WHEREAS, each party acknowledges and agrees that they jointly
decided to conceive and bear a child, based upon their commitment to each
other and their commitment to jointly parent a child; and

19. HOW DO I GET AN
AUTHORIZATION FOR
HEALTHCARE OF A MINOR?
IDEAL: Hire an attorney to draft a case-specific Authorization.
Better than nothing: See Handout #3

20. Authorization to Consent to Medical, Surgical, or Dental
Examination or Treatment of a Minor
I, ________________________, being the mother/father of ____________________,
a minor child, do hereby authorize __________________________________ of
__________________, _______________, to consent to any X-ray examination, anesthetic,
medical or surgical diagnosis or treatment and hospital care to be rendered to said minor
child
under the general and/or special supervision and upon the advice of a physician and/or
surgeon
licensed to practice medicine in any state of the United States, or to consent to any X-ray,
examination, anesthetic, dental or surgical diagnosis or treatment, and hospital care to be
rendered to said minor child by a dentist licensed to practice dentistry in any state of the
United States.

21. HOW CAN I GET
JOINT LEGAL AND PHYSICAL CUSTODY?
IDEAL: Hire an attorney (competent in LGBT family law) to obtain a
court order granting joint legal and physical custody to both
parents.
• An order granting joint legal and physical custody to both parties
(while the family is intact) will survive a dissolution of the relationship
between the parties.
Not recommended: Learn the court process to “do-it-yourself”.
Danger...

22. HOW CAN I GET A
STANDBY GUARDIANSHIP?
IDEAL: Hire an attorney (competent in LGBT family law) to obtain a
court order appointing a standby guardianship.
• An order appointing a standby guardianship only applies in certain situations.
Not recommended: Learn the court process to “do-it-yourself”
(if applicable). Danger…

23. HOW DO WE
HOLD OURSELVES OUT AS PARENTS?
 In addition to NOT INSTEAD OF obtaining legal custody and
executing a parenting agreement, hold yourselves out to
family, friends, service providers, the child, and the public as the
child’s parents.
 Although the Boseman opinion struck down second parent
adoptions, it also ratified and strengthened custody rights for
same sex parents.
 There is no conclusive test for what actions by the parties are
sufficient to establish standing for the non-bio/legal parent to
petition for custodial rights, but engaging in all or most of the
following has proven to be persuasive to the court:

24. • Holding yourselves out to medical providers, educational
providers, clergy members, and other professionals as parents.
• Both parties participating in choosing donors, surrogates, adoption
agencies, physicians, etc. Choosing a donor that has the physical
characteristics of the non-bio parent.
• Both parties participating in prenatal appointments, decorating the
nursery, and other preparations prior to birth/adoption.
• Presenting yourselves as parents at religious
ceremonies/baptisms, birthday parties, and other special events.
• Sending out birth announcements, holiday cards, and other
correspondence representing two parents and the child/children.

25. • Editing forms that ask for “mother” and “father” and inserting both
partners’ names as parents.
• Holding yourselves out to the child as parents.
• Having the child’s name reflect both parties’ names.
• Encouraging the child to develop and maintain family relationships with both
parties’ extended families.
• Encouraging the child to celebrate both parties on Mother’s Day or Father’s Day.
• Both parties contributing to the physical, emotional, and financial support
of the child.
• Both parties engaging in joint decision-making regarding the child.

26. STATE & FEDERAL LAWS
 State and Federal Laws which apply to married
couples, most likely do not apply to you!
• Distribution of property (upon dissolution of relationship)
• Children
• Management of property and person (upon
incapacitation)
• Distribution of property and body (upon death)

27. Since we don’t have access to marriage in North Carolina, we
also don’t have access to spousal rights (which provides laws
for managing our property and health care needs upon
incapacitation). This means that same-sex partners who have
not properly executed a Power of Attorney(s) will be at the
mercy of state laws. This may result in very detrimental
unintended consequences.
DID YOU KNOW? If you have not properly executed a
Durable Power of Attorney, your biological/adopted family
members will be considered first as the persons having
authority to manage your property and to make health care
decisions on your behalf (including to exclude your partner) if
you become incapacitated. Court proceedings will be
required to attempt to overcome their preferential status.

28. Since we don’t have access to marriage in North Carolina, we
also don’t have access to spousal estate rights (which
provides laws for property distribution upon death). This
means that same-sex partners who have not properly
executed their Wills will be at the mercy of state laws. This
may result in very detrimental unintended consequences.
DID YOU KNOW? If you have not properly executed a Will
that states otherwise, at your death, your property will be
distributed to your biological/adopted family members (or the
state) only.

29. Ok, so when the state and federal laws do
not apply to us,
what do we do now?

30. RECIPE FOR
COMBAT LAW LEMONADE:
COURT ORDERS / AGREEMENTS RELATED
TO PROPERTY DISTRIBUTION AND
CHILDREN
PROPER ESTATE PLANNING
PROPER FINANCIAL PLANNING

31. PROPER ESTATE PLANNING
Plan for your incapacitation
and/or death…
one or both
is guaranteed to occur!!

32. Ok already, so I may become
incapacitated,
and I am guaranteed to die,
what do I do now?

33. RECIPE FOR
ESTATE PLANNING LEMONADE:
 Property/Partnership Agreements/Orders
 Estate Planning Documents
• Durable Power of Attorney
• Health Care Power of Attorney
• Living Will
• Last Will & Testament
• Trusts
 Proper Financial Planning

34. DURABLE POWER OF ATTORNEY
 A legal document that grants authority for another to
manage your financial affairs during your life
(before, during, and/or after incapacitation). May be general
or limited.
HEALTH CARE POWER OF ATTORNEY
 A legal document that grants authority for another manage
your health care needs during your life (before, during, and/or
after incapacitation. May be general or limited.

35. LIVING WILL
 A directive given by you
directing another as to the
life-saving measures you direct to be taken
(or not) near the end of your life.
 This may be incorporated a part of a
Health Care Power of Attorney.

36. LAST WILL & TESTAMENT
 A document providing for what happens to one’s body and
property after his/her death.
TRUST DOCUMENT
 A contract between two parties that sets out each party’s rights
and responsibilities as to property during life and/or at death.
 The “parties” can be the same person as “grantor” and
“trustee”.
 Trust may be amended (or not).

37. HOW CAN I GET A
DURABLE POWER OF ATTORNEY?
IDEAL: Hire an attorney (who is competent in LGBT estate
planning) to draft your Durable POA.
Better than nothing: See Handout # 4

38. NORTH CAROLINA GENERAL
COUNTY OF ____________ POWER OF ATTORNEY
ARTICLE I
APPOINTMENT
I ________, appoint ________ to be my attorney-in-fact, to act in my name in any way
which I could act for myself, with respect to the following matters as each of them is
defined
in Chapter 32A of the North Carolina General Statutes. (DIRECTIONS: Initial the line
opposite any one or more of the subdivisions as to which the principal desires to give
the
attorney-in-fact authority.)
(1) Real property transactions ...................................................................
_________
(2) Personal property transactions ............................................................
_________
................ _________

39. HOW CAN I GET A
HEALTH CARE POWER OF ATTORNEY?
IDEAL: Hire an attorney (who is competent in LGBT estate
planning) to draft your Health Care POA.
Better than nothing: See Handout # 5

40. HEALTH CARE POWER OF ATTORNEY
Designation of Health Care Agent.
I, __________________, being of sound mind, hereby appoint the following
person(s) to serve as my health care agent(s) to act for me and in my name
(in any way I could act in person) to make health care decisions for me as
authorized in this document. My designated health care agent(s) shall serve
alone, in the order named.
A. Name: _______________________ Home Telephone: _______________
Home Address: _______________________ Work Telephone: _______________
____________________________________ Cellular Telephone: _______________
B. Name: _______________________ Home Telephone: _______________
Home Address: _______________________ Work Telephone: _______________
____________________________________ Cellular Telephone: _______________

41. HOW CAN I GET A
LIVING WILL?
IDEAL: Hire an attorney (who is competent in LGBT estate
planning) to draft your Living Will (or to include it in your Health Care
POA).
Better than nothing: See Handout # 6

42. ADVANCE DIRECTIVE FOR A NATURAL DEATH (“LIVING WILL”)
My Desire for a Natural Death
I, , being of sound mind, desire that, as specified below, my life not be
prolonged
by life-prolonging measures:
When My Directives Apply
My directions about prolonging my life shall apply IF my attending physician
determines that I lack capacity to make or communicate health care decisions and:
NOTE: YOU MAY INITIAL ANY AND ALL OF THESE CHOICES.
______ I have an incurable or irreversible condition that will result
(Initial) in my death within a relatively short period of time.

43. HOW CAN I GET A
LAST WILL & TESTAMENT?
IDEAL: Hire an attorney (who is competent in LGBT estate
planning) to draft your Last Will & Testament.
Better than nothing: See Handout # 7

44. Last Will and Testament
of
______________________________________
I, ______________________, of _________________,
hereby make, publish, and declare this to be my Last Will and
testament and revoke all previous wills and codicils made by me.
Section 1. Identification of Family
1.01 My partner’s name is _________________________.
All references in this will to my partner, whether or not specifically
named, shall mean only my partner, ______________________.
1.02 I have (no) living children or issue.

45. HOW CAN I GET A
TRUST DOCUMENT?
Hire an attorney (who is competent in LGBT
estate planning) to draw your Trust
Document(s). The type of trust document(s) will
depend on your goals as to property distribution.
Consult your attorney and/or financial planner
about your options.

46. LEMONS FROM
PERSONAL FINANCES
Your Domestic Relationship lacks many of the legal
safeguards of MARRIAGE.
 If the relationship ends, no divorce court or uniform
guidelines exist to separate your shared assets.
 If you incur joint debt with your partner, you are both fully
responsible for the entire amount.
 Your partner could drain the funds from the joint account.

47. RECIPE FOR
MONEY LEMONADE:
SEE HANDOUT # 8
 Have an honest and frank conversation of your financial values, priorities,
and goals before deciding whether to handle your finances separately or
as a couple.
 Estimate Your Net Worth separately or as a couple.
 Prepare a BUDGET.
 Weigh the options before obtaining joint accounts.
 Get a DOMESTIC PARTNERSHIP AGREEMENT.

48. PLANNING FOR RETIREMENT
LEMONS
As a domestic partner, you are NOT eligible for spousal
benefits from two key sources that many married
partners depend on: Social Security and Medicare.
 It is always possible that your relationship could end
before retirement.
 Some companies, union and pension plans do not
extend automatic survivor benefits to a domestic partner
from his/her deceased partner.

49. RECIPE FOR
RETIREMENT LEMONADE:
 Decide to plan retirement separately or as a couple.
 Increase your level of savings.
 Use life insurance to fund your partner’s retirement.
 Designate your partner as the beneficiary for your
retirement plan and life insurance plans.
 Get a DOMESTIC PARTNERSHIP AGREEMENT.

50. TAX CONSEQUENCE
LEMONS
 Unlike married couples who can gift property between each
other with no tax consequences, non-married persons who
change the title of their real property to “joint tenants with
rights of survivorship” may avoid probate, but the change
may also involve making a taxable gift according to the IRS
if the value of the interest conveyed exceeds $12,000.00.
 As partners, you CANNOT file a “married filing jointly” or
“married filing separate” return for taxes.
 Unlike individuals who were once married, spousal support
between domestic partners is not deductible and may incur
gift tax consequence if the annual amount exceeds
$13,000.00 (the current cap).

51. RECIPE FOR
TAX LEMONADE:
 Investigate the availability of joint and survivor benefits
for your partner.
 Investigate the options of creating a trust.
 Standard and itemized deductions can be filed by one or
both partners.
 Get a DOMESTIC PARTNERSHIP AGREEMENT.

52. “An ounce of prevention
is worth a pound of cure”
• (aka, 1 hour now can save 100+ hours later)
• (aka, $1,000 now can save $10,000 later)

53. Prevent:
• Undesired outcomes
• Emotional burden to partner/family
• Financial burden to partner/family

54. Participate:
• Get your individual/family finances in order
• Learn about who does what in office & Vote
• Volunteer time/money to LGBT
supporters/projects
• Share what you know
• Use what you know
• Share your story

55. MAKE LEMONADE!!!