1. COPING WITH UNEMPLOYMENT
How has losing your job affected you, your family and your lifestyle?
Our job is integral to how we survive and provide for our families. Our ability to obtain/maintain employment,
and the income it provides, anchors our security and that of our families.
In 1967 psychiatrists Thomas Holmes and Richard Rahe, conducted research to determine which life events had
the greatest stressful impact of people’s lives. Their findings resulted in the Life Stress Inventory. Dismissal
from a job ranked 8th
only proceeded by events such as death of family members, marital issues and
incarceration.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Holmes_and_Rahe_stress_scale
How has losing your job affected how you feel about who you are?
How we identify ourselves, relate with others and engage in society is strongly linked to our occupation. So
much so that many family names were derived from occupational titles, during the advent of surnames in the
11th
century.
The loss of a job is a major disruption, creating great stress in our lives, affecting not only our financial security
but also how we perceive ourselves. With a life event the has such a impact on our security and identity it
should be no surprised that we would experience a wide variety emotions, much like those that are
experienced during other major life events as death, divorce or major health problem.
In 1969, Elizabeth Kubler-Ross developed a stage approach to the grief process and how humans cope with
major losses in life. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Five_Stages_of_Grief
Professionals in Transition (PIT) Support Group, Inc. adapted Kubler-Ross’s research and applied it to the
effects of job loss. In their application they added 6th
stage in the process.
http://uhr.rutgers.edu/documents/CopingwithJobLoss.pdf
 Shock & Denial (How could this have happened to me?)
 Fear and Panic (Will I lose everything I own?)
 Anger (How can they do it to me?)
 Bargaining (I'll get another job right away.)
 Depression (I don't care anymore.)
 Acceptance (My job search is my responsibility, and I can make it happen.)
Along with emotional effects of the job-loss trauma PIT highlights some of the physical and behavioral effects
that are often experienced:
Loss of appetite Dizziness Forgetfulness Heart Palpitations
Problems falling asleep Aching Limbs Lack of concentration Repetitive Dreams
Anxiety Attacks Irritability Migraine headaches Hyperactivity
So how do we regain control while we are going through the process?
Let’s look at the stages
1. Shock & Denial
Although you may feel like you've been "punched in the stomach," and it may be days or weeks before
the full impact of the loss sinks in. Driven by the desperation to regain control you may scramble to
find another job right away. This method often heightens levels of stress, drains our energy and
affects our ability to make good decision. Although getting another job is a priority, now is the time to
“catch your breath”, rely on emotional support of family and friends and recuperate.

2. COPING WITH UNEMPLOYMENT
2. Fear and Panic
Once the numbing effects of job loss wear off a generalized sense of dread may consume you and
even smallest worries become magnified. All your time and energy can easily be consumed by real
concerns and the “What If’s?”, resulting in indecision or worse, immobility. This is the time to assess
and take control of the stress. Get all your worries out of you and onto a sheet of paper. Decide which
ones are real issues and which ones are the “What if’s”. Now you can remove “What if’s” from the list.
Don’t spend your time and energy on something that hasn’t happened. Prioritize the real concerns
and designate certain times to focus on them individually. Don’t let them “gang-up” on you at once.
Most importantly make “worry-free” time in the day. A time when you intentionally focus on family,
hobbies and things that you enjoy.
3. Anger
This emotion is highly charged and full of energy. If we allow anger to build without an appropriate
release it will be become unhealthy to ourselves and others, but used wisely you can accomplish a lot.
The secret to coping effectively is to channel your anger so that you can benefit. Find a way that’s
healthy. Go to the gym, or talk a walk, go to the batting cages or get out in the woods and scream.
Don’t allow your anger to control you by taking out on family members, talking negatively about
former employer/co-worker while at an interview or in networking situations.
4. Bargaining
During this stage, we start feeling the tiring effect of the emotional roller coaster and you may run out
of ideas. You may start dialoguing with yourself that things aren’t that bad and you’ll easily get
another job because something or someone will come along a save you a long as you prove yourself as
worthy. This mindset breed’s complacency will cause you to expend your hopes waiting for that thing
or person to make it all better. You have to remind yourself that the next job your get will be because
of YOUR effort and talents, not that of the “job-fairy”.
5. Depression
After that “hot job lead” falls through or you find out that your neighbor’s brother doesn’t actually
have the ability to hire anyone at the plant, any un-managed anger may turn inward in the form of
depression and your sense of self worth declines. You may start avoiding friends, family and anything
that you used to enjoy. You may also start blaming yourself for everything that has happened, but now
is not the time to give in and disengage. Get out, get involved and do some of those things that you
didn’t have time for while you were working. Go for a hike, clean out the garage, go see a movie, get
some exercise, do things with family that, because of work, you weren’t able to do and just re-charge
your self-worth.

3. COPING WITH UNEMPLOYMENT
6. Temporary Acceptance
This is the morning when you wake up and the weight of the situation isn’t as heavy. You breathe a
little better and your thoughts have more clarity. You feel more encouraged, confident and you are
ready to start making changes. This level of acceptance is often temporary and with every employer
letter that tells you they have selected another candidate, your optimism becomes diminished. You
may at times cycle through some or all of these stages several times and that’s ok. The key is
effectively coping with them when they arise. It’s important that we begin come to terms with the loss
by accepting the change and it’s repercussions, assessing ourselves and life since the change, planning
& preparing on how to move forward and begin to effectively re-engage in our lives.
Is there any way to get through the process faster?
Stay “employed” – Your new job is Marketing and your client is YOU.
 Prepare (M. Chemsak’s outline from 1/18/11)
This is the time to assess yourself, determine your career goals and all resources to help you attain your
goals.
 Plan
Schedule your “work week” with Job Prep & Search activities. Budget your time and activities to use your
have time effectively.
 Strategize
Research potential employers and tailor your resume(s) specifically toward job opportunities you want to
pursue.
 Networking
Stay engaged with professional groups and committees that you are a member of and network. Also,
make use of social networks such as Job Club or Linked-In. Consider the concept of the “6 Degrees of
Separation”. 6x6=36 36x6=216 216x6=1296 1296x6=7778.
 Marketing
Let everyone know that you are a “Free-Agent” and looking for openings. Develop an “elevator speech”
and be prepared to “sell yourself” in any situation.
Remember……….
Stay connected
Stay involved
You are not alone
Steven McMillan
Jan 2010