describing the benefits of knowing your Love DNA for a happier marriage.

1. The Love DNA

2.  Founder of Good Works of Love Ministry
 Master in Ministry/Christian Counseling
 Certified Marriage Educator
 A.P.S. Temperament Therapist
 Pastoral Life & Marriage Coach
 Radio Host & Producer
◦ Great Big Life
◦ Gems of Glory
◦ Life Line Radio
 Author

3. “Heart” is used over 800 times
Attributes a central place in Spirit-soul activities and Affections
Distinguishes it from the operations of the head and brain.
Ancient cultures had a similar concept of the brain and the heart
stimulating and reacting to each other.
Hebrew concept of the heart included thought, emotions and will
Classifications of the applications of the word “heart” to man:
•Physical
•Spiritual
•Moral So we can see that the
•Emotional
•Motivations heart has a big role to play
•Thought life
in our human lives.

4. Capacity
Great people possess capacity-the capacity to produce something great.
Col 1:27 Christ in us, the Hope of Glory
1 John 3:9 Born of His seed. (We have the DNA of Heaven) We inherit
which created the universe.
Happy Couples discover their capacity to be
great husbands & wives.

5. Goal Oriented
Great people possess vision, aim or goals. Fixing their eyes on the Aim, the Prize
1 Cor 9:24-26 Run to win
Happy Couples AIM for a Happy Marriage.

6. Time
Great people realize that investment in a good marriage requires time over time.
Gal 6:9 Do not lose heart in doing good.
Happy Couples invest the necessary time and faith
for their good works of love to manifest
into a Happy Marriage.

7. Perseverance
Great people have stick-to-it-ness commitment.
Eph 5:3 Dream comes through much great effort.
Happy Couples
keep building on their good works of love.

8. Consistency
Great people must be ready in season and out of season.
2 Tim 4: 2 Be ready in season and out of season. Convince, rebuke, exhort, with
all longsuffering and teaching.
My Coaching guides couples through the refining
fires of what may seem like a crucible.

9. Sacrifice
Great people regard others over themselves. How well do we really love our
spouses? Marriage is not about us. It is about reflecting the love of Christ in our
words and actions.
1 John 4:20-21 We cannot truly love God while neglecting to love those who are
created in His image
A Happy Marriage must be sown in Good Works of
Love with a pure heart.

10. Teaches accountability for each
persons actions and helps them to
understand who God created him/her to
be.
Teaches how His wonderful plan, for
us as individuals, works and how it can
cause every person to be happy and
fulfilled during this life.

11.  These conflicts are caused by
◦ Attempting to meet your temperament needs in an
ungodly way.
◦ Temperament needs being out of balance, i.e. all
the persons energies are spent meeting some
needs while other needs are ignored.
◦ Reactions to unmet temperament needs.

12.  Understanding of one’s unique self.
 Surrender to the Lord Jesus Christ and His plan
for our lives
 A willingness to surrender the ungodly ways of
meeting our temperament needs and replacing
them with methods which are conducive to the
Bible.
This is a daily surrender

13. Emotions
Mind Will

14. Our temperament Our Love DNA
in our emotion area pinpoints our
is affected by deep perception of
relationships: ourselves and
1. our parents Emotions the people
2. Spouse Mind
who love us.
3. children
4. best friend.
It also is a
Will determining
factor in how
well we
handle the
stresses and
pressures of
life

15.  The difference between inborn temperament
and one’s personality is learned behavior.

16. Building Blocks
SELF SELECTED  The first building
“PERSONALITY” block of
understanding
(Mask)
human behavior is
MAN/ENVIRONMENT AFFECTED
“CHARACTER”
God-created. This is
(Learned Behavior) called our
temperament. When
we are conceived our
GOD-CREATED unique temperament
“TEMPERAMENT” is placed within us by
(Inborn)
the order of God.

17. Building Blocks  The second building block or
understanding human
behavior is that we are
SELF SELECTED man/environment-affected.
“PERSONALITY” This is called our character.
(Mask)  Upon birth we begin to
interact with our
environment and our
MAN/ENVIRONMENT AFFECTED environment interacts with
“CHARACTER” us. The environment is
(Learned Behavior) everything we see, hear,
smell, feel, and learn. These
perceptions are forever
locked into our brain and
these things slightly mold
GOD-CREATED and alter our temperament,
“TEMPERAMENT” forming character
(Inborn) (temperament + environment =
Character)

18. Building Blocks  The third building block of
understanding human
behavior is self-selected.
SELF SELECTED This is called our
“PERSONALITY” personality. This may or
(Mask) may not be part of our
temperament or character.
This is the way we perceive
MAN/ENVIRONMENT AFFECTED how we must behave to
“CHARACTER”
survive in the world in which
we live.
(Learned Behavior)
 The one major problem with
personality is that it is a
mask we wear and as with
any mask it can’t be worn for
GOD-CREATED very long. Eventually the
“TEMPERAMENT” person will revert back to
(Inborn)
temperament and character.
This may be why some
people may act one way at
home and different way out
in the world.

19. Sanguine Phlegmatic Supine
What is your
Temperament?
Melancholy Choleric

20.  The understanding of temperament gives us
a special knowledge of the inner workings of
ourselves and others.
 It helps identify the pressures we feel which
results from:
◦ The world in which we live
◦ Our weaknesses and desires

21.  The understanding of temperament also
helps us develop a stronger relationship with
God by showing us how to let God work in
our lives and how to interact with God in ways
that are beneficial to us.
 Temperament therapy offers answers to why
we have stresses and conflict in our lives and
how to overcome them.

22.  There are parts of man that are closely
related and cannot be separated. Each is a
determining factor in man’s behavior; they
are the physical, spiritual and emotional areas
of mankind (mind, spirit and body).
mind
spirit body

23.  Most temperament researchers and writers
have the simplistic view that an individual is
one temperament (melancholy).
 This course teaches this is seldom true.
Humans are complex both biologically and
emotionally. For example and individual
may be a Melancholy in social interaction
(mind), a Sanguine in the decision making
area (will) and a Phlegmatic in deeper
relationships (emotions)

24. Man attempts to meet his temperament needs
Happiness in marriage is greatly dependent on how well each spouse
understands their partner's temperament and how willing they are to
meet their partner's temperament needs.
The way a man perceives himself, his world and God will determine how
he will behave. These perceptions are founded in the temperament.
Therefore, on the basis of this premises, the temperament is the
determining factor of what we are, but our environment and our
relationship with God determine what we will become.
Can we meet our needs in ways that please the Lord? Idealistic!
Man has not been able to walk solely in the Spirit; sometimes he walks
in the flesh.
Just as the body is made of three parts, the temperament consists of
three parts: inclusion(mind), control(will), affections(emotions).
Our temperaments have weaknesses which cause problems in our
social life, our marital life and our spiritual life.

25. Inclusion
Evil thoughts and an evil eye
are found in the inclusion
area.
Control
Sins of pride, foolishness, and
Inclusion Control blasphemy are found in the
control area.
(mind) (will)
Affection
Adulteries, fornication and
lasciviousness (lusting) are
found in the affection area.
Affections
(emotions) * Wickedness, deceit, murder,
thefts, and covetousness are
a combination of two or
more of the temperament
needs of Inclusion, Control
and Affection.

26. We call these perfections STRENGTHS.
And when properly used, bring glory to God.
“Seeing you have purified your soul in
obeying the truth through the Spirit unto
unfeigned love of the brothers, see that you
love one another with a pure heart
fervently.” 1 Peter 1:22

27. To Bring God glory:
Make up your mind to focus on the good and
not the bad. (Inclusion)
Decide to bend our will and through that
strength, meet the needs of another person.
(Control)
Allow our emotions to reach out and give love
and affection to another person, regardless
of our own wants and needs. (Affection)

28. Email: coachdebbiekessler@gmail.com
Phone: 770-307-7759
Web: http://happymarriage4us.com
Facebook: /coachdebbiekessler
Twitter: /Happymar4us