Outline
• What interpersonal skills are
• The need & Advantages
• Types
• Communication
• Theoretical models
• Organizational context
• Managerial roles
• Barriers to harmony
• Pointers for self help
• Role of a therapist
What are I/P skills?
• When someone forgets your name, how does it make you feel? Are you affected or
offended in any way?
• If you see someone whom you’ve met before, but forget the person’s name, do you think
it’s better to ask for the name again or not admit that you’ve forgotten?
• If you’re being treated badly in a relationship and you don’t express your dissatisfaction
to the other person, would you say you’re equally responsible for the mistreatment?
What are I/P skills?
• An interpersonal relationship is a reciprocal social and emotional interaction between two
or more individuals in an environment
• Close association between individuals who share common interests and goal
• Examples:
– Friendship
– Family and kinship
– Professional relationship
– Love
– Marriage
– Platonic relationship
– Casual relationship
– Acquaintances
What are I/P skills?
• IP skills are all about working with other people
• The ability to get along with others while performing the job
• Characteristics: manners, attitude, courtesy, habits, behaviors and appearance
• Life skills we use every day to communicate and interact with other people,
individually or in groups
PEOPLE WILL FORGET WHAT YOU SAID,
PEOPLE WILL FORGET WHAT YOU DID,
BUT PEOPLE WILL NEVER FORGET HOW
YOU MADE THEM FEEL…
- MAYA ANGELOU
Need for I/P skills
• Improving power of expression
• Being accountable
• Improving self management skills
• Using stress to win
• Improved emotional quotient
• Personal growth and development
Need for I/P skills
• Growth and enjoyment
• Sense of security
• Context of understanding
• Interpersonal needs
• Establishing personal identity
• Being liked by others
Need for I/P skills
• Improving relationships
• More productivity
• Better working environment
• Forming effective teams
• Socializing at work place
• Presenting your self at work
Types
• Primary:
– Informing: the ability to articulate and express ideas and thoughts
– Listening:
• Ability to listen attentively and actively
• Accurately receive and interpret messages shared
• Ability to express, read, interpret and respond appropriately to non-verbal
communication
• Key to all effective communication
Types
• Active listening needs:
– Definite intent to listen
– Focus on the speaker
– Verbal & non-verbal encouragers
– Feedback
Types
• SECONDARY:
– Relationship building skills:
• Expression of a view/ opinion should be done this in an open, but respectful manner
• Feeling comfortable enough to communicate with team members
• Transparency
• Being forthright with important information
• Demonstrate sensitivity and compassion
• Respect for each team member
• Value his/ her needs, emotions and rights
Types
• Problem solving
• Decision making
• Trust enhancing skills:
– Open and transparent communication
– Mutual respect and tolerance for individual differences
– Demonstrated care and sincere interest
– Recognition for the value of each individual team member
– Co-operation and shared commitment
Types
• Assertiveness skills:
– Assertiveness – the ability to express one’s feelings and assert one’s rights while
respecting the feelings and rights of others
– Appropriately direct, open and honest, and clear
– Expressing anger or disappointment without aggression
– Without hurting others
– Helps with greatly reducing interpersonal conflicts
– Enables acting in own best interests without infringing upon the rights of others
Types
– Often confused with aggression
– Neither passive nor aggressive (reflects lack of self-confidence)
– Assertiveness Continuum
Types
• Measuring Assertiveness:
– Do you have difficulty accepting constructive criticism?
– Do you find yourself saying ‘yes’ to requests that you should really say ‘no’ to, just to
avoid disappointing people?
– Do you have trouble voicing a difference of opinion with others?
– Do people tend to feel alienated by your communication style when you do disagree
with them?
– Do you feel attacked when someone has an opinion different from your own?
Types
• Assertive people are open about their feelings (not anxious)
• Deal with stressful situations calmly
• Stand up for their rights even if this might entail a certain disagreement or conflict
• Are not intimidated and are not easily persuaded by others
• Acknowledge that people are responsible for their own behavior
• Express negative thoughts and feelings in a healthy and positive manner
• Identify own needs and wants, and ask for them to be satisfied
• Receive criticism and compliments positively
• Can say "No" when they need to
Types
• Negotiation skills:
– Negotiation – a method by which people settle differences
– Compromise or agreement reached while
– Avoiding argument and disputes
– In disagreements, the best possible outcome reached for the organization
– Key principles:
– Fairness
– Seeking mutual benefit
– Maintaining relationships
Communication
• More than merely imparting meaning – it must also be understood
• Fundamental definition: when the intended message is correctly
interpreted, understood and acted upon by listeners
• No team or organization can exist without communication i.e. the
transference of meaning among its team members
• Chinese whispers?
Non verbal Communication
• Sending and receiving of wordless (mostly visual) cues
• Face-to-face interaction
• Components:
– Environmental conditions where communication takes place
– Physical characteristics of the communicators
– Behaviors of communicators during interaction
Theoretical Models
• Johari Window:
• Designed to understand communication processes
• Consists of information held in common between two people as well as methods that can be
used to increase the size of one’s window
• Communication will be enhanced if the Arena is increased in size by:
– Exposure of self to others
– Soliciting feedback from others
• Exposure requires an open, candid and trusting approach
• Feedback requires active solicitation of feelings, opinions and values from others
• For these processes to be fully developed, reciprocity is required
Theoretical Models
• The Credibility Formula: Credibility = Integrity + Expertise
• Achieving distinguishable follower faith and loyalty – certainly not an overnight
occurrence
• Can be achieved through: openness and investment in people
• Proven scorecard of leadership and performance excellence
• Leader’s behavior, actions and decisions are congruent with the instrumental values of
reliability, fairness, consistency and transparency
• Enhance follower’s perception of the leader’s reputation and standing
• More willingness to follow and support that leader
Organizational Context
• Context of interpersonal skills seen in vast number of Interactions
• Real competitive advantage gained
• Relationships in the long term dependent on the level of interpersonal skills
• Effective relationship viewpoint:
– Externally:
• With suppliers
• With competitors
• With customers
– Internally:
• Within or across teams, departments and business units
Managerial Roles
• Figurehead
• Leadership
• Liaisoning
• Needs to:
– Understanding self
– Build a positive functional multidisciplinary team
– Improve intra & inter team communication
– Enhance coordination and co-operation
– Improved decision making and problem solving
Barriers to Harmony
• Personal:
– Fear of rejection
– Lack of flexibility
– Lack of honesty/ trust
– Ineffective Communication
– Feelings of insecurity
• Situational:
– Large distances
– Lack of time
– Complex interactions
– Overcrowding
• Socio-cultural: language, cultural &
ethnic diversity
Pointers
• Smile more
• Appreciate genuinely
• Pay complete attention
• Listen actively
• Connect with people
• Resolve conflicts
• Humor them
• Empathize
Pointers
• Communicate clearly
• Don’t complain so much
• Learn to say NO
• Don’t raise your voice, improve your argument
• Believe in yourself
• Assert yourself
– Be firm and decisive
– Ask for what you want – matter-of-factly
Role of a Therapist
• Work Life Balance
• Managing Stress
• Assertiveness Training
• Social Skills Training
• Interpersonal Therapy
• Managing Emotions
• Identification and treatment of Mental Health disorders
• Referral to a Psychiatrist for appropriate management?
Interpersonal Therapy
• Structured Treatment phases:
– Initial phase: Obtaining mental health history and interpersonal inventory
– Middle phase: Resolving the chosen interpersonal problem area in order to
improve mood symptoms
– Final phase: Termination of therapy
• Communication Analysis: enhancing communication skills to improve
interpersonal functioning
Interpersonal Therapy
• Exploration of Options and Decision Analysis:
– Explore how to resolve the issue
– Generate a list of potential solutions and evaluate alternatives
– Discuss resources needed and develop a plan to execute necessary changes
• Termination:
– Last 2-3 sessions of treatment
– When meaningful gains have been made and client feels better and ready
– Review course of treatment, identify treatment gains, and future treatment needs