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Learn about co-dependency and interventions to help the person with co-dependency issues.
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Co-Dependency Awareness and Interventions
1. Co-Dependency
Part of the Co-Occurring Disorders Recovery Coaching Series
Recovery & Resilience International in partnership with AllCEUs.com
Co-Occurring Disorders Recovery Coaching Curriculum
2. Objectives
Define codependency
Identify characteristics of the codependent
relationship
Explore the motivations for these behaviors
Hypothesize alternate, healthier behaviors
Recovery & Resilience International in partnership with AllCEUs.com
Co-Occurring Disorders Recovery Coaching Curriculum
3. Why I Care/How It Impacts Recovery
Co-dependency can serve as an alternate
addiction or distraction
Co-Dependents may use relationships to try to
deal with depression or anxiety
Ultimately codependency is self-defeating
because one of the few things that cannot be
controlled is the will of another person.
Recovery & Resilience International in partnership with AllCEUs.com
Co-Occurring Disorders Recovery Coaching Curriculum
4. Definition
Codependency describes a type of relationship in
which
One partner defines his or her worth or goodness based
on someone else
The codependent person often chooses relationships in
which the other person needs to be rescued, thereby
making himself or herself indispensable.
Recovery & Resilience International in partnership with AllCEUs.com
Co-Occurring Disorders Recovery Coaching Curriculum
5. Co-Dependency as an Addiction
Tolerance
Need more of the same substance/activity
In a codependent relationship, as time passes, the
codependent’s identity becomes increasingly defined by
the relationship with the other person
Withdrawal
Not getting the substance, being around the person
results in physical or psychological withdrawals
When apart from or unable to control the other person,
the codependent experiences extreme anxiety and/or
depression
Recovery & Resilience International in partnership with AllCEUs.com
Co-Occurring Disorders Recovery Coaching Curriculum
6. Co-Dependency as an Addiction
Spending more time thinking about, engaging in
or recovering from the behavior
Co-dependents are always hypervigilant to other
peoples behavior, and obsessing about what they are or
are not doing
Co-dependents spend large amounts of time rescuing or
covering up for the other person “fixing it”
The codependent gets exhausted taking care of the
other person, but cannot stop because they rely on the
other person to tell them
Recovery & Resilience International in partnership with AllCEUs.com
Co-Occurring Disorders Recovery Coaching Curriculum
7. Co-Dependency as an Addiction
Foregoing other interests in order to maintain the
addiction
The relationship is the “drug” of choice in the
codependents’ lives
Having that person in their life makes them feel “okay”
or “whole”
The relationship takes the place of self-love
Recovery & Resilience International in partnership with AllCEUs.com
Co-Occurring Disorders Recovery Coaching Curriculum
8. Co-Dependency as an Addiction
Continuing the addiction/relationship despite
negative consequences
Emotional (depression, anxiety, anger, resentment)
Social (Loss of other friends)
Physical (stress-related physical issues)
Occupational (poor job performance)
Recovery & Resilience International in partnership with AllCEUs.com
Co-Occurring Disorders Recovery Coaching Curriculum
9. Addicts and Codependents
Low self esteem
Depression, anxiety
Need to control
Fear of abandonment
Relationship comforts/numbs
Relationship becomes the addict’s primary focus
Minimizing, denying, blaming to protect the relationship
Stinkin’ Thinkin’
Recovery & Resilience International in partnership with AllCEUs.com
Co-Occurring Disorders Recovery Coaching Curriculum
10. Have difficulty identifying what they are feeling.
Lack empathy for the feelings and needs of others.
Mask pain in various ways such as anger, humor, or isolation.
Experience significant aggression/resentment and negativity
Recovery & Resilience International in partnership with AllCEUs.com
Co-Occurring Disorders Recovery Coaching Curriculum
Addicts and Codependents
11. Have difficulty making decisions.
Judge what they think, say, or do harshly, as never good enough.
Value others’ approval of their thinking, feelings, and behavior
over their own.
Do not perceive themselves as lovable or worthwhile persons
Seek recognition and praise to overcome feeling less than.
Have difficulty admitting a mistake.
Need to appear to be right in the eyes of others and may even lie
to look good.
Are unable to identify or ask for what they need and want.
Have trouble setting healthy priorities and boundaries.
Recovery & Resilience International in partnership with AllCEUs.com
Co-Occurring Disorders Recovery Coaching Curriculum
Addicts and Codependents
12. Believe people are incapable of self-care
Try to convince others what to think or feel.
Offer unsolicited advice and direction
Become resentful when their help is rejected
Lavish gifts, favors or sexual attention on those they want to influence.
Demand that their needs be met by others.
Use blame and shame to control.
Adopt an attitude of indifference, helplessness, authority, or rage to
manipulate outcomes.
Use recovery jargon in an attempt to control the behavior of others.
Pretend to agree with others to get what they want.
Recovery & Resilience International in partnership with AllCEUs.com
Co-Occurring Disorders Recovery Coaching Curriculum
Addicts and Codependents
13. Interventions
Identify the benefits and drawbacks to the
relationship AND the benefits and drawbacks to
being single
Remember that codependency, like other
addictions is used to escape, distract or avoid
pain.
Begin self-esteem work (There are a myriad of
books and worksheets available)
Until the person can provide self-validation, all
relationships can potentially become codependent
Recovery & Resilience International in partnership with AllCEUs.com Co-Occurring Disorders Recovery Coaching Curriculum
14. Apply It
Identify 3 ways you could have used this information in
the past week.
What was the situation?
What did you do?
How effective was that for you?
Short term
Long Term
If you would have had this new information, what could you
have done differently?
How would that have changed the outcome?
How can you start integrating this knowledge into your routine
Recovery & Resilience International in partnership with AllCEUs.com
Co-Occurring Disorders Recovery Coaching Curriculum
15. Summary
Codependents generally get in relationships with
addicts or others who need to be “rescued.”
Codependents do not feel worthy or lovable.
They need someone else to validate them
Recovery involves
Developing a sense of self-worth
Addressing the depression and anxiety
Learning about and creating a network of healthy
relationships
Recovery & Resilience International in partnership with AllCEUs.com
Co-Occurring Disorders Recovery Coaching Curriculum