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Promise of Allah forGood and Pure Life "Whoever works righteousness, man or woman, and has faith, verily, to them will We give a new Life, a life that is good and pure, and We will bestow on such their reward according to the best of their actions.“ Nahal,16:97
Way to reach Jannah "Do good deeds properly, sincerely and moderately. . . Always adopt a middle, moderate, regular course, whereby you will reach your target (of paradise)"- Sahih Al-Bukhari, Volume 8, Hadith 470
What is balance between Islamicwork and family?It means to create harmony- a state in which nothing is out of proportion or unduly emphasized at the expense of the other.
Its advantages? Enhanced productivity and commitment to Islam, family and society. Less conflict between various roles within life- i.e. being a parent or a spouse. Better relationships with, colleagues, friends & family. Ability to feel more confident about life and be happier
Life is a juggling act.Bryan Dyson, a former CEO of Coca Cola Health Friends Family ICNA work Spirit Personal Excellence
Challenge of Balancing Life ISLAMIC FAMILY WORK
Islam is balanced way of life Islam is a system of life (Deen) that is optimally balanced in its design by Allah SWT based on His ultimate knowledge and absolute wisdom.1 And the Firmament has He raised high and He has set up the balance (of Justice) .In order that ye may not transgress (due) balance. So establish weight with justice and fall not short in the balance. Rahman,55:7-9
Balance is shining feature ofMuslim Ummah Allah (SWT) has mentioned balance, moderation and equilibrium as the distinguishing feature of the Muslim Ummah Thus have We made of you an Ummah justly balanced that ye might be witnesses over the nations and the Apostle a witness over yourselves… Baqarah,2:143
Individual Muslims must bebalanced Islam expects its followers at a minimum, to be balanced, moderate and fair in everything they do; and to strive towards excellence in goodness, as their target. “Always adopt a middle, moderate, regular course, whereby you will reach your target (of paradise)" (Bukhari)
Maintain balance as a Muslim Can be viewed from two perspectives:1. Balance in views, attitudes and focus2. Balance in assigning time and resources
1- Balance in views Many Muslims regard Islam as a religion (a set of religious rituals They think balance is to be struck between Dunya (worldly matters) and “Deen”(misunderstood as “merely” religion) To give enough time to religious rituals in a way that their worldly pursuits are not negatively affected. This leads to a lifestyle where they worship their “Dunya” (worldly matters and expediencies) and only a little time here and/or a little money there are given to the acts of worship.
2-Balance in assigning time andresources Deen encompasses every part and aspect of Dunya It is a matter of assigning appropriate time and resources to all components of Deen according to the importance and priorities that Allah (SWT) has assigned to them Prophet (SAW) demonstrated this balance through his practice, and the Sahabah observed them in their lives
Factors determining allocation oftime and resourcesIs this an ideal Islamic society?Are Muslims living as minority?What stage is the Islamic Movement at ?Is the person a leader or a worker?Is it normal situation or emergency?
5 Areas of Islamic Obligation Family Islamic Health work Relation Finances with Allah
Time and resources to be given to5 obligations: 1-Islamic work responsibilities are met on a timely basis in such a way that the Islamic movement is able to progress towards its goals according to its strategy and plan. 2-A strong personal relationship with Allah is maintained and efforts to attain personal excellence in Islamic knowledge and Ibadah are consistently pursued;
5 Areas of Islamic Obligations 3- Family’s basic physical and psychological needs, according to the Ma ‘roof of the society, are adequately met and children’s training and coaching needs are not neglected 4- The person’s own physical health (through adequate food, rest and exercise) is maintained. 5- Reasonable, lawful money/resources are earned to finance all of the above.
Exceptions to this model This model is ordinarily applicable to Muslims in normal circumstances. It is neither applicable to all Muslims nor to all situations. A leader will need to spend much more time on the first two items on a consistent basis Depending on the stage of Islamic work, everyone may have to suffer and endure extra hardships and sacrifice of personal well-being and physical health
Where do we find a model ofbalance? This balancing is not an easy task. 1- Seerah: We find ideal level of moderation and balance in the life of the Prophet (SAW). 2-Lifestyle of the Sahabah is another model. Prophet said: “The best society is my society; then the generation succeeding them and then the generation succeeding them.”
Example of person withimbalanced life Such type of father/spouse habitually gulps down his dinner and is out the door for the rest of the night. He spends long hours away from his family serving on masjid committees, counseling strangers with their problems, organizing fund-raising events, and attending endless meetings. When he is home, he talks on the phone for hours, sits in front of the email, and then collapses, exhausted into bed.
Stranger to one’s spouse andchildren His wife may feel that it is her duty to willingly do without marital companionship in order to free her husband to do the "more important" work of Allah. But if the woman cares at all about her husband, she will eventually feel betrayed and rejected. If years go by and she becomes used to living without him, such that she no longer needs or wants him, then he has lost her, and probably his children also.
Children need their father It is not enough for the father to bring home the money and then feel he has done his job. Sons and daughters need their fathers to spend time with them. Sons who are deprived of their fathers companionship and affection are more likely to become delinquent or deviant in their teens.
Children need their father Daughters who fail to receive their fathers attention and praise are more vulnerable to sexual predators as they unconsciously search for a loving father replacement. A desperate need for love and validation has led many teens to forbidden and self-destructive behaviors, Kids who do sports and have fun with their dads tend to have fewer social problems such as smoking or drinking, and they are more likely to have a stable and fulfilling marriage relationship in later years
Wives need loving husbands Wives who fail to receive regular doses of loving attention from their husbands will lack the self-esteem to effectively train an Islamic family. The wifes depression and nervous anxiety from her husbands prolonged absences can affect her unborn fetus. If she is struggling with her own feelings of abandonment and rejection, how can she be everything for her children?
Strong family is vital for joyousexistence But when a woman feels cherished by her husband and respected, she receives a tremendous boost of energy and there is nothing she would not do for him. A strong marriage is essential to good health, longevity and a joyous and meaningful existence. It is not appropriate to view our Muslim families as impediments to our lofty spiritual ambitions, but rather, they are a trial of our actual, personal application of Islam.
No competition between Islamicwork and family. Raising a family is Islamic work. Maintaining the spirit of love and peace at home is very rigorous, nafs-reducing, intensive Islamic training. Wives and children need to be included in Islamic work at home or in the local community. Children learn by imitation, so they need to see their fathers in action. When men use the Islamic work to try to avoid marital conflicts and the strains of child discipline, they avoid having to develop the patience, compassion and selfless attitude that children and wives demand. This is a grievous setback to their spiritual maturity.
Family First Policy All Islamic organizations should adopt a "Family First" policy if they are serious about being vehicles of Islam. Lectures and conferences can only give people theoretical knowledge. You may fully understand the status of women in Islam, or the duties of wives, for example. Your trial is to see if you can behave in this manner at home. Each trial that your family presents to you is a means for inner purification, and serves as the practical training and test of your faith
Example of Ibrahim (AS) At no time did Ibrahim give up or sacrifice his relationship with his sons or his wives in order to follow Allah. Nor did he leave his sons religious education and moral upbringing to their mothers while he went off to make dawah. His sons were a priority in their fathers life, and they had a close relationship. When Ibrahim was ready and willing to sacrifice his first-born son to Allah, it was not because Ismail was a victim of parental coldness or neglect. Rather, he was the recipient of prophetic understanding. It was as a result of the strength of this family bond, that father and son were united in full submission to the command of Allah.
Tips on achieving this balance:1- . If you can break down your day and plan your activities, you will find time that you didnt know existed. Effective time management will give you the feeling that you have more hours in your day.
2-Multitasking Spend time driving to and from work or school, listening to your Islamic CD’s Memorizing Quran? Take pocket Quran with you wherever you go, be it a doctors appointment, your childs skating practice, or even while you are cooking dinner Do reading or writing while waiting for your children at a scout meeting or some other activity.
3-Delegate Delegate! Delegate! Delegate Have a talk with the spouse and children. If they are willing to help in Islamic work, the whole family will benefit in the long run. It may take some persistence and a little tenacity, but family can get involved. The kids can get a reward at the end of the week for helping. One can take them out for dinner for helping out.
4-Hired Help If you can afford it, hire a secretarial help or someone to help with house chores. One could hire a high-school or college-aged person to come in and help.
5-Re-evaluate Your Standards. One must re evaluate the standards of living one has adopted and decide if one really needs to put lot of time in maintaining it. Is it possible to live with less and hence spend more time with the family rather than long hours at work or doing multiple jobs. Look at the lifestyle of those who have less than you. Do not envy the lifestyle of those who have more than you.
6- Plan Quality Time It is best to schedule family time and time with spouse and kids on daily basis. Its important for marriage and childrens wellbeing that time is spent together in unhurried, leisure activities. They dont have to be all-day events.
7- DuaAnd those who pray "Our Lord! grant unto uswives and offspring who will be the comfort of oureyes and give us (the grace) to lead the righteousFurqan,25:74
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