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The Cuddle Sutra

99 ways to cuddle your loved ones

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The Cuddle Sutra

  1. 1. CuddleSutraCuddleSutraAAnn UUnnaabbaasshheeddCCeelleebbrraattiioonnooff tthhee UUllttiimmaatteeIInnttiimmaaccyyRob GraderTheThe
  2. 2. THECUDDLE SUTRAAn Unabashed Celebration of the Ultimate IntimacyRob Grader
  3. 3. Copyright © 2007 by Rob GraderCover and internal design © 2007 by Sourcebooks, Inc.Cover and internal illustrations © 2007 Leela Corman, www.glittercannon.comSourcebooks and the colophon are registered trademarks of Sourcebooks, Inc.All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by anyelectronic or mechanical means including information storage and retrieval sys-tems—except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles orreviews—without permission in writing from its publisher, Sourcebooks, Inc.Published by Sourcebooks Casablanca, an imprint of Sourcebooks, Inc.P.O. Box 4410, Naperville, Illinois 60567–4410(630) 961–3900FAX: (630) 961–2168ISBN-13: 978-1-4022-1630-5ISBN-10: 1-4022-1630-05www.sourcebooks.comPrinted and bound in ChinaIM 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1
  4. 4. Karen,Come cuddle with me.
  5. 5. ACKNOWLEDGMENTSAs impossible as it is to cuddle by yourself, try writing a book alone. Itjust cannot be done. Here are the very special and wonderful people whohave embraced the idea of the Cuddle Sutra and helped me create it:First and foremost to my wife Karen, words are not enough to express mygratitude not only for being my constant cuddling companion, but trulythe inspiration and co-creator of this book (not to mention a heck of agood proofreader). I will cuddle with you now and always. And to mynewest cuddling partner, my baby boy Roscoe, you have brought newdimensions to my life and to my cuddling. I am also grateful for theencouragement and assistance of Ken Bolden, Steve Harper, Paul Dinas,Deb Werksman, Rebecca Kilbreath, Megan Dempster and everyone atSourcebooks. Additionally, there is a long list of friends and familymembers who are always willing to listen to and support my kooky ideas:my family, including Mom, Dad, Jeff, Lisa, Emily, Sally, Jonas, Stu,Ellen, Jessica, Michelle, Scott, Trish, Lulu, Elaine, Maxine, Gary, Joe,and Marybeth; and my extended family of friends: Billy, Bill, Sue, Mark,Danny, Suzi, Chiori, Shari, Bob, Patricia, Janice, Michael, Helen, aswell as all my friends at Bliss Spa and Madison Plaza.I offer you all my deepest thanks and tightest hugs!
  6. 6. TABLE OF CONTENTSAcknowledgments vIntroduction 1The Three T’s of Cuddling 6A Note about Positions and Descriptions 7Part One: Private Displays of Affection 11Chapter 1: Bedroom Boogie: Cuddling in Bed 13We spend about a third of our lives in bed, giving ustime to explore the many varieties of bedroomcuddling positions that range from traditional to theseemingly acrobatic.Come to Papa 15681⁄2 17
  7. 7. Lap of Luxury 19Main Squeeze 21Melting Butter 23Tug O’ Love 25Cherry Popsicles 27The X Factor 29Breakfast in Bed 319:30 P.M. 33Spooning 35Forking 37Through the Woods 39Two Pillows 41The Husband 43Cheek to Cheek 45
  8. 8. Chapter 2: Couch Canoodling: Snuggling on the Sofa 47Whether watching TV, having a heart-to-heartdiscussion, or reading the Sunday paper, thesepositions take multitasking to a whole new level.Surf & Snuggle 49Sardines 51The Times Together 53Two Peas in a Pod 55Ticklish Delight 57Horizontal Hold 59Splish Splash 61The Layer Cake 63The Most Comfy Chair 65Lean Two 67The Matching Pillow Set 69Tête à Tête 71
  9. 9. Part Two: Public Displays of Affection 73Chapter 3: Walking with My Baby: Hand 75Holds and EmbracesWhile you may not think of holding hands and publicembraces as cuddling, they are indeed the purest andmost common forms of the cuddle. Do not be fooled bytheir simplicity—these are powerfully emotional acts.You may be surprised at the infinite number of waystwo people can manage to walk and be in love at thesame time.The Old-Fashioned 77The New-Fashioned 79The Yawn Maneuver 81Public Displays of Ahhhh! 83The Pick Pocket 85Your Honey or Your Life 87Partners in Time 89
  10. 10. The Pose 91The Weave 93The Velcro Touch 95Pinky Play 97Cross My Heart 99Team Players 101Arm in Arm 103The Huggle 105The Pick-Me-Up 107The Gleap 109The Thresh Hold 111Promenade 113The Dip 115About the Author/Illustrator 116
  11. 11. INTRODUCTION“Despite what you’ve been told, men love to cuddle . . .but why does your head have to block the TV?”—DENNIS MILLERIt all started, not surprisingly, in bed one Saturdaymorning. The second Saturday in October to beprecise. My wife and I have a tendency to overbook ourweekend schedules, but this was one of those rare dayswhen we did not need to jump out of bed at the crackof dawn to meet someone before we had to get some-where to do something. Our slate was wide open. Sure,the shopping needed to be done, the laundry was pil-ing up, and the bathroom needed a serious scrubbing,but the chores were nothing that couldn’t be put off. Itwas that precious day when we could indulge ourselves
  12. 12. in a serious little cuddling session.Now, when I say we had some time for cuddling, thatis not some prudish allusion to sex. I mean the purething—cuddling, snuggling, canoodling, billing andcooing, and yes, maybe even a little petting, caressing,and tickling for good measure. Now don’t get mewrong, there is nothing wrong with sex. Sex is a greatthing but cuddling is the ultimate intimate act; morethan a candlelit dinner, more than a joint tax return,and yes, even more than sex. It is an act of pure phys-ical communication; it’s how we express our affection,our connection, devotion, vulnerability, and generosity.Within the simple act of an embrace, two people canbe joined together in such an intense bond that wordsno longer serve a purpose. The cuddle says it all.Let’s face it, we can have sex with someone withoutit meaning much, but it is pretty close to impossible toenjoy some casual cuddling. In fact, it may well be theThe Cuddle Sutra
  13. 13. best test of whether or not that person in your bed isthe right one for you. Try it out. Hold him tight andclose, wrap your arms around her, intermingle yourlegs, stroke his hair. Now do a quick gut check. Doesthis feel right? Do you want this to go on and on? Orare you counting the seconds until you can get out ofbed without seeming harsh? When you are this physi-cally intimate with someone, your instincts will alwaystell you the truth.Cuddling is one of the great pleasures of life and it isalso one of the most basic human needs. Plainly stated,human beings simply cannot survive without the touchof another person. Clinical studies at The TouchInstitute at The University of Miami and other institu-tions have shown that infants who go without being heldand touched show developmental delays in areas fromweight gain to cognitive and motor skills. These studieshave also shown that throughout our lives, the touch ofIntroduction 3
  14. 14. another can have a dramatic effect on such conditions asdepression, arthritis, asthma, ADHD, autism, diabetes,fibromyalgia, hypertension, and migraine headaches.The human being was built to experience touch.Starting with our skin and extending into every layerof the body, touch is a sense that is fully incorporatedinto all facets of our lives. The effects of touch gobeyond our physical experience and even have aproven impact on the chemistry of our emotional life.Studies have shown that massage and other forms oftouch increase the feel-good chemicals serotonin anddopamine in the brain—the exact effect people strivefor by taking antidepressants.But I didn’t set out to write a scientific tract oncuddling; this is a celebration of the cuddle. It is an all-encompassing resource for the act of cuddling. The bookis filled with detailed descriptions and illustrations of theways to express affection for one another whether in theThe Cuddle Sutra
  15. 15. privacy of your own bedroom or walking down MainStreet. It is an affectionate look at coupling that is bothexhilarating and welcoming to all. The perfect resourcefor sharing love that is literally no holds barred.Back to that lazy October day, the second Saturday inOctober. Remember? There we were, cuddling andsnuggling. “We should get up.” “Yeah, we should.” Andembracing and hugging. “You want to take a walk?”“Yeah . . . in a little while.” And nuzzling and petting.“Do you want to grab some lunch?” “Yeah, I guess weshould . . .” By now the cuddle-fest had migrated to thecouch. “ . . . or do you just want to spend the rest of theday cuddling?” “Yeaaah!” And so it was that our ownpersonal holiday was born. The second Saturday inOctober is now and shall forever be National CuddleDay. We never left the house that day, and we never hada more perfect day together . . . until, of course, the nextCuddle Day rolled around.Introduction 5
  16. 16. The Three T’s of CuddlingThere is no wrong way to cuddle, but there are ways tomake your cuddles more intimate and enjoyable. Hereare the three T’s of cuddling to keep in mind, whichcan be applied to almost any cuddling position in thebook.TALK—once you are physically communicatingwith your partner through the cuddle, verbal commu-nication will have even more of an impact. From goofypillow talk to those quiet monumental conversationsabout hopes, dreams, and wishes, share what you arethinking and feeling—the impact of your cuddles willbe even more intense.TOUCH—While your bodies may be tied up inknots around each other in some of these positions,your hands always have at least some range of motionto touch your partner. There are at least four basictypes of touch that work particularly well with cuddles:The Cuddle Sutra
  17. 17. caressing, tickling, scratching, and light fingertiptouch—use them all!TOGETHERNESS—Gravity is a remarkable toolfor cuddling, and one that should never be shied awayfrom. In whatever position you find yourselves, takeadvantage of any opportunity to let the full weight ofyour body rest effortlessly on your partner. Whether itis your whole body or just an arm or leg, allow the fullheft of your bodies to make the cuddle more comfort-ing and substantial.A Note about the Positionsand the DescriptionsOne of the magical things about cuddling is that any-one can do it. It is not limited by gender, age, size, oracrobatic abilities. One of the not so magical thingsabout writing a book is that in order to be clear andunderstandable, you are forced to use pronouns like heIntroduction 7
  18. 18. and she. For the sake of clarity, I have described eachcuddle with genders to correspond with the accompa-nying illustration. In reality, just about every role inevery cuddle in this book can be performed by anypartner in any relationship.Depending on you and your partner’s size and bodytypes, you may find there are a few positions in thebook that are not a perfect fit for you. In these rarecases, I would encourage you to experiment and com-municate. Shift a leg here, an arm there, roll a bit moreto the side—whatever it might take for you to be com-fortable and at ease in that position. Above all else, acuddle must be comfortable for it to be comforting.The Cuddle Sutra
  19. 19. “We are, each of us, angels with only one wing,and we can only fly embracing each other.”—LUCIANO DECRESCENZO
  20. 20. PART ONEPrivate Displaysof Affection
  21. 21. CHAPTER 1Bedroom Boogie:Cuddling in Bed
  22. 22. COME TO PAPAThis is the classic, all-purpose, stay-snuggled-up-close-to-me-all-night-long cuddle. He is lying on his back, sheis lying on her side completely resting all of her weightagainst him. He gently hugs her upper body with hisarm, supporting her neck and head. She hugs him withher upper arm and tucks her lower arm into her chest soit rests between their two bodies. She may feel the urgeto slide this arm under his body to give him a completehug, but if you maintain that position for too long, herarm will eventually go numb from the weight of his body,and it is not particularly comfortable for him. You willfind your legs intermingling; let them rest wherever ismost comfortable. This position is all about maximumcontact and maximum comfort. This one also works likea dream on the couch.The Cuddle Sutra 15
  23. 23. 681⁄2It’s not what you think . . . well it is, but not in the wayyou think. You are both lying on your side facing eachother, head to toe. Your knees are slightly bent with thebottom knee lying slightly forward of the other knee,leaving your inner thigh to form a perfect pillow for yourpartner’s head. This is a surprisingly intimate positionthat is ideal for light caressing and sensual tickling on thelower back, behind, and thighs.The Cuddle Sutra 17
  24. 24. LAP OF LUXURYThis is the perfect pick-me-up cuddle. If one of you isdown in the dumps, stressed out, or just needs a littleTLC, this will make everything right with the world oncemore. She sits cross-legged on the bed with her legsmaking a cradle for his head. He lies on his side with hishead nestled in her lap and the rest of his body iswrapped around her body in a kind of fetal position.This will leave his back available for the back scratch ofhis dreams while being a very easy position for both ofyou to maintain for an extended length of time.The Cuddle Sutra 19
  25. 25. The Cuddle Sutra 21The Cuddle Sutra 21The Cuddle Sutra 21MAIN SQUEEZEThis is the ultimate I-can’t-get-enough-of-you embrace.If you find yourself speaking baby-talk to each other, youneed The Main Squeeze. Both of you are lying on yoursides face to face. She wraps her legs around his waist,and embraces his head with her lower arm. He will havethe impulse to wrap both of his arms around her body,but it is best only to wrap his upper arm around her.Keep the lower arm snuggled in tight between the twobodies, otherwise his arm will quickly lose all feelingunder the weight of her body (even if she is light as afeather, as of course she is.).
  26. 26. The Cuddle Sutra 23On those nights when one of you is just too dang tired todo a thing, here is a simple and smooth way to melt intoeach other. She lies flat on her back, legs straight, andarms out to the side. He lies on his side resting his headon her shoulder and clutches her with both arms andlegs. For an added dash of sizzle try this variation: hepulls his legs up and rests them between her torso andhis so that he is almost rolled into a ball alongside her.Either version makes for a perfect sleep-through-the-night cuddleMELTING BUTTER
  27. 27. TUG O’ LOVEDoes your partner’s tossing and turning keeping you upall night? Here is your chance to tie her down, but nicely.You both lie side-by-side on your backs with your armsand legs slightly spread apart. Hook your arms at theelbow and interlace your legs. Hold on tight, it could bea bumpy ride!The Cuddle Sutra 25
  28. 28. It is a hot and sticky summer night, the AC is on the fritz,and there is just no way are you going to let anyonecuddle up beside you. Fear not—there is an incrediblysimple cuddle that is as refreshing as a cherry popsiclethat leaves your tongue an unnaturally deep shade of red.Both of you lie on your backs in your own space on thebed and just reach your hand out to the side and grabhold. It is an endearingly simple act that says, “even inthe worst of situations, I am here for you.”The Cuddle Sutra 27CHERRY POPSICLES
  29. 29. This is the perfect middle of the night cuddle. Maybeyou’ve had a bad dream, your mind won’t seem to slowdown, or you just feel like you need a small reminder thatyou are not alone. There’s no need to wake your partnerup to make contact. Just lay your leg over his. It’s inti-mate, it’s connected, and it is surprisingly reassuring. Becareful not to rest your leg directly on top of his knee, orhe may wonder why he is limping in the morning. Okay,now you can get back to sleep.The Cuddle Sutra 29THE X FACTOR
  30. 30. BREAKFAST IN BEDThis tasty cuddle is about as simple and intimate as it gets.She lies on her back and he lies face down directly on top ofher like two pancakes, resting his head on her chest. Don’t beafraid to rest all your weight on each other. That bond is oneof the great pleasures of this position. If there is a big differ-ence in weight, you will both be more comfortable with thelighter person on top. Once in place, there are any number ofoptions and variations to this position. Both of your arms arefree to gently run your hands through each other’s hair, lightlystroke each other’s faces, arms, and back. This closeness alsoencourages intimate conversation and whispered sweet noth-ings. Your legs can either be in a straight and flat position, orhe can bend his knees, straddling her in a frog legs position.Mmmm, pancakes with frogs legs. Now there’s a dish younever thought you would want to whip up!The Cuddle Sutra 31
  31. 31. The Cuddle Sutra 33The Cuddle Sutra 339:30 P.M.Any time is the right time for cuddling, and this positionpractically makes time stand still. Think of your bodies asthe hands of a clock. She is lying on her back with herlegs pointing to the six. He is lying on his stomach withhis head on her chest and his face turned to the sidetoward her face. He is lying at a ninety-degree angle fromher, so his legs are pointing to the nine. Both of their armsare loosely wrapped around the other’s upper body. Thisis such a close and comfortable position for both that youare likely to find yourselves drawn into quiet conversation;eventually your breathing may start to match, and beforeyou know it you will both start to drift off to sleep at yournew bedtime, 9:30 P.M.
  32. 32. One of the basic utensils in the cuddling drawer, thisposition has been a popular one since cuddling began. Itis simple, comfortable, and it gives you a warm, deepdown two-bugs-in-a-rug type of feeling. You both lie onyour sides facing in the same direction so that your bod-ies are aligned. This is most easily achieved when thetaller partner is in back. The back person hugs the frontperson with their hands meeting at the front person’schest. With bent hips and knees, your bodies conform toone another, fitting perfectly together.The Cuddle Sutra 35SPOONING
  33. 33. This twist on the spooning position is all about full-frontal hugging. Again, lie on your sides, but this timeface to face, and embrace each other with a bear-hug-strength hug. Just like Spooning, your legs are bent at thehips and knees, but now they are threaded through eachother like the tines of two forks facing each other. This isa cuddle of enthusiasm and is not meant to last hours,but you can easily transition from this position into manyother long lasting cuddles, including the always comfort-ing Come to Papa.The Cuddle Sutra 37FORKING
  34. 34. THROUGH THE WOODSThis position may have you feeling like your body is theroad winding “over the river and through the woods . . .”She lies on her back with her knees bent, her feet on thebed, and one arm out to the side for him to snuggle into.He lies on his side with his head resting on her shoulderand his top arm gently resting on her upper body. Heslides his legs through the tunnel formed by her bent legsand bends his as well. This is particularly restful andcalming (just like grandma’s house should be).The Cuddle Sutra 39
  35. 35. The Cuddle Sutra 41TWO PILLOWSThere is nothing quite as soothing as the gentle rise andfall of your partner’s breath. She lies on her side in acomfortable curled-up position using his stomach as herpillow. He lies on his back with his head on a regular pil-low and runs his fingers through her hair and over herback. The soothing touch and calming rhythm combineto ease her into her dreams.
  36. 36. Not surprisingly, my wife came up with this one. Whybuy one of those husband pillows to prop yourself upin bed with when you’ve got the real thing right there?He lies on his side with his legs bent at the hips and theknees. His head is resting on his bottom arm and apillow, and his upper arm is resting comfortably infront of him. She fits perfectly sitting between his armand legs, using his body as her support. He is free to fallasleep while she watches TV, reads a book, or works onher laptop.The Cuddle Sutra 43THE HUSBAND
  37. 37. The Cuddle Sutra 45CHEEK TO CHEEKSometimes it is hard to decide who gets to lay your headdown and who gets to be the comforting shoulder, sowhy don’t you both do both at the same time? You liehead to head in a straight line so that the tops of yourheads can rest on each other’s shoulders. Experimentwith the position of your arms. You may find that extend-ing the arm of the shoulder your partner’s head is restingon may make for a more comfortable pillow. Unless youhave an unusually long bed (or you are both particularlyshort) you will need to lie with bent knees for you to botheasily fit on a bed.
  38. 38. CHAPTER 2Couch Canoodling:Snuggling on the Sofa
  39. 39. SURF & SNUGGLEIt doesn’t get any simpler (or better!) than this. He sitson one end of the couch with a pillow in his lap. She lieson her side or her back and rests her head on the pillow.This position gives him the freedom to put his feet up,grab a drink, channel surf, or even read a book—justmake sure you have everything you need within reach,because once she falls asleep you’ll be stuck there.The Cuddle Sutra 49
  40. 40. Being crammed together like sardines in a can has neverfelt so good. You both lie on your backs at opposite endsof the couch so that your legs run the full length of yourpartner’s body and your feet fit snugly in your partner’sunderarms. Depending on your heights and the length ofyour couch, you may need to sit up a bit to make thiswork perfectly for you. You can relax in this cozy positionfor hours, and it is ideal for intimate conversations, naps,and reading.The Cuddle Sutra 51SARDINES
  41. 41. THE TIMES TOGETHERHe wants the comics and she wants the travel section—don’t let the mound of papers get in the way of a Sundaycuddle. Each of you grabs a section and lies at oppositeends of the couch, resting your heads on an armrest orpillow. Your legs should slide through the other’s legswith both of his on the outside of hers. Both of your legsare bent with the feet resting on either side of your part-ner’s hips or stomach. And, whenever you want to sharea particularly interesting tidbit, just move your knees toeither side for a clear view of your partner.The Cuddle Sutra 53
  42. 42. TWO PEAS IN A PODThey say imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. Well,this position is the perfect compliment for both of you.She lies on her side with her head resting on the armrest.Her legs are bent at the hips and at the knees, but herknees should only be bent enough to keep her legs on thefront of the cushion. He lies in exactly the same position,except he uses her hips as his pillow. This is great forwatching TV, napping, or just lazing about.The Cuddle Sutra 55
  43. 43. TICKLISH DELIGHTLie on your sides at opposite ends of the couch, restingyour heads on the armrests or pillows. Weave your legsthrough each others so that your inner thighs are restingon each other. This is a particularly easy and cozy way towhile away the hours on the couch with each other. And,if you want to drive your partner crazy, you are perfectlypositioned to tickle his feet . . . but then so is he.The Cuddle Sutra 57
  44. 44. The Cuddle Sutra 59HORIZONTAL HOLDThis is one of the most affectionate and endearing cud-dles you can perform on a couch. She sits at the end ofthe couch with her upper body leaning sideways on thearmrest and her legs running the length of the couch.Her top leg remains straight along the back of the cush-ion and her bottom leg bends so that her knee touchesthe front edge of the cushion. He lies on his side with historso fitting in the space between her legs and his headcradled in her arms. This is an easy position for both ofyou to hold for hours of caressing, soothing conversation,or a DVD double feature.
  45. 45. SPLISH SPLASHNo need for twists, flips, and half-gainers to make a big splashwith this cozy position. To dive into this cuddle, you both lieon your sides in the exact same position facing each otherwith your arms around each other’s upper bodies. The posi-tion of your legs is just the way they would be if you weretaking your last big step before you dive off a diving board.Your bottom leg is perfectly straight and your upper leg isbent at the knee with the foot even with your other leg’s calf.Your bent legs are intermingled, with her leg lying on top ofhis, making for some very welcome intimate contact. This isan easy position to maintain for long stretches of time, and isperfect for some quiet pillow talk and long luxurious after-noon naps. Degree of difficulty: 0.0The Cuddle Sutra 61
  46. 46. This position looks as sweet as it sounds, and the icingon the cuddle is how good it feels. You both sit on thecouch next to each other and stack your legs one on topof the other in layers (his, hers, his, hers). You both reachyour arms around each other and lean into each other tofully engulf one another. This is a passionate cuddle, butnot one you will want to hold for too long or you willsoon find your legs falling asleep.The Cuddle Sutra 63THE LAYER CAKE
  47. 47. THE MOST COMFY CHAIRThis may remind you a bit of sitting on Santa’s lap whenyou were a child, but even as an adult this remains a par-ticularly tender way to tell each other what you want forChristmas and every day of the year: each other. He sitson the couch and she sits sideways on his lap. He reacheshis arms around her waist giving her support and sheleans her upper body against his. She has her hands freeto massage his neck and head. Now that’s a perfect gift.The Cuddle Sutra 65
  48. 48. The Cuddle Sutra 67LEAN TWOThis perennial favorite is one of the most utilized positions inthe entire cuddle catalogue because of its simplicity, comfort,and the ease with which it allows you both to tangle over theclicker. He leans over and rests his head on the armrest of thecouch or against his bent arm (depending on the height of thearmrest). His legs are bent comfortably at the hip and knees,resting his feet against her thighs. She is leaning over in theexact same position, leaning against his arm and holding hishands on his legs. He may be tempted to reach his armaround her neck to cradle her head, but this will put her headin an awkward position. Simply leaning on him will leave youboth comfortable enough to stay in one position for hours ofviewing—though deciding whose show to watch may not bequite as easy.
  49. 49. The Cuddle Sutra 69THE MATCHING PILLOW SETSure, the couch has plenty of cushions, and there mayeven be a bunch of throw pillows strewn about, but it isstill pretty hard to find a more comfortable place to layyour head than on some well-padded part of your part-ner. You can both make a pillow out of your partner bylying on your sides, heads pointed in opposite directions.Your feet are pointing toward the armrests and your tor-sos are criss-crossing in the center of the couch. Your legsare bent at the hips and the knees. He lies behind herusing the slope of her hips as a pillow, and she lies herhead on his thighs.
  50. 50. Whether it is marveling at the beauty of her eyes or justpointing out the sprouting zits, sometimes there is nogreater pleasure then tuning out the rest of the worldand giving each other a little face time. Sitting face-to-face, he places his legs on either side of her, and shebends her legs and rests them in the space between theirbodies. Wrap your arms around each other and stareinto each other’s eyes lovingly. When that starts to feel abit cheesy, you are also in the perfect position for a killerstaring contest.The Cuddle Sutra 71The Cuddle Sutra 71Tête à Tête
  51. 51. PART 2Public Displaysof Affection
  52. 52. CHAPTER 3Walking With MyBaby: Hand Holdsand Embraces
  53. 53. This is how you picture your grandparents walking downthe street in olden days, but it is a simple and profoundway to express your connection to your partner in anyera. Link your arms with the forearms resting on oneanother. Your free arms can swing or rest on the hand ofthe linking arm. Best for slow walks through the park,leisurely strolls along the countryside, and walking yourdaughter down the aisle. Not recommended for bustlingcity streets.The Cuddle Sutra 77THE OLD-FASHIONED
  54. 54. The Cuddle Sutra 79THE NEW-FASHIONEDA more casual take on The Old-Fashioned; again, armsare linked at the forearms, but one partner’s hand makesits way into a pant or jacket pocket and the other person’sarm rests on top of it. All the connection with none of theeffort. Not recommended for walking your daughterdown the aisle.On chilly days, try this variation: the Cold-Fashioned.Simply link your arms at the elbows, but this time bothof you slip your hands into your coat pockets. All theconnection, all the warmth.
  55. 55. THE YAWN MANEUVERBack when you were thirteen years old you had tosummon the courage of a thousand men to try out“the move.” Well, whether or not it paid off then, Ican guarantee it’ll do the job now. So, sit right next toeach other, put your arm around her shoulder, andsnuggle up close.The Cuddle Sutra 81
  56. 56. PUBLIC DISPLAYS OF AHHHH!Find a wall and lean against it. You are now perfectlypoised for the smoochiest ahhh-filled PDA out there.Resting all of your weight against the wall, bend one legand rest your foot against the wall. Your knee is nowsticking out in front of you and making an inviting seatfor her to climb on. The two of you are standing face toface, clutching, hugging, kissing, and stroking each otherwith your weight comfortably leaning into the wall. Bewarned though, use of this cuddle in public may inducenausea in unattached passersby.The Cuddle Sutra 83
  57. 57. You probably don’t want to use this on your first date,but once you have both reached the “I-just-can’t-keep-my-hands-off-your-butt” stage, it is time for The PickPocket. Walking side by side, slip your inside handsdown into your partner’s back pocket, resting yourthumb outside the pocket. And if you are lucky, there isalways that added bonus—spare change!The Cuddle Sutra 85THE PICK POCKET
  58. 58. YOUR HONEY OR YOUR LIFEDon’t worry, this hold may look a little like a stick-up,but there is nothing illegal about it. She stands in backand slightly to the side of him, and wraps one armaround the tops of his shoulders (not too tightly, youdon’t want to choke him!) and takes hold of his otherhand at his side. He stands there and feels the love.Don’t be surprised if this catches the attention of somelocal law officer, but only because he wishes he had itso good.The Cuddle Sutra 87
  59. 59. PARTNERS IN TIMEThis hold not only shows that you love who you are with,but that you even like each other. This has a real buddyfeel to it. Walking side by side, one of you puts your armaround the other’s waist or can slip your hand into theirback pocket, while they put their arm over your shoulderso that their arm is hanging down over your chest.The Cuddle Sutra 89
  60. 60. The Cuddle Sutra 91THE POSESo, you are walking along side by side, just quietlyminding your own business, when suddenly you areovertaken by an irresistible wave of rapturous, gooey lovefor one another. You are ready for the Pose. You reachyour arms around each other’s waists. Pull each other intightly, turn your heads in the same direction, andsqueeze your cheeks together as if someone were aboutto snap your picture. This feels so silly and fun that youcan’t help but smile a big old cheek-to-cheek grin. Youcan keep walking in this position, though you probablywon’t win any races.
  61. 61. The Cuddle Sutra 93The classic romantic handhold. One of the most univer-sally recognized hand-holds, the weave is particularlypowerful for amorous pairings. Perhaps it is because thefingers of both hands are completely interwoven, form-ing a strong and intimate bond—a connection that isboth a public and private manifestation of how closelyjoined together you two have become.The Cuddle Sutra 93THE WEAVE
  62. 62. Whether you are leading your partner through the roughterrain of crowded city streets or trying to hold on to eachother against an onslaught of oncoming department storeclearance sale shoppers, you need The Velcro Touch.Hold your fingers and thumb together tightly and curveyour fingers so that they form a hook. Link both of yourhooks together and grip tightly. No one can break thisapart, not even a blue-light special.The Cuddle Sutra 95THE VELCRO TOUCH
  63. 63. PINKY PLAYSometimes less is more. There is a certain confidenceand maturity that comes with this hold; it is a simple andunadorned way to feel a connection with your partner.Interlock your pinkies and continue walking with thecertainty that right here and right now you are with theright person. You can pinky-bet it will feel good.The Cuddle Sutra 97
  64. 64. CROSS MY HEARTIf you find your relationship turning into a bit of awrestling match, the Cross My Heart clasp just mightsettle the score. Walking side by side, join your same-sided arms (right and right or left and left) and bendthem at the elbow. Link hands at the thumbs and wrapthe rest of your fingers around the outside of your part-ner’s hand. She can reach around and hold her otherhand around his waist while the linked hands are heldclose to her chest. Maintain a firm grip, but try not toactually arm wrestle.The Cuddle Sutra 99
  65. 65. This hold is a little like having a set of shoulder pads, butwhile these may not protect you from an oncoming line-backer on Super Bowl Sunday, they certainly will helpyou withstand feeling down in the dumps on any givenday. This has a real I’m-your-partner-and-we-can-face-anything-together feel to it. Walking next to each other,he slips his arm under hers and rests his hand on theshoulder nearest him, and she rests her hand on hisshoulder. Now you can recover from any fumble.The Cuddle Sutra 101TEAM PLAYERS
  66. 66. ARM IN ARMThis is the classic arm-around-your-honey way to walkdown the block. Walking side by side, She wraps her armaround his waist, and he wraps his arm around hershoulder. If there is a large difference in heights, it willgenerally be easier for the taller person to put their armaround their partner’s shoulder. However you divide upthe roles, you should make sure you are comfortable. Youwill use this walk often and throughout the entire span ofyour relationship.The Cuddle Sutra 103
  67. 67. THE HUGGLEA hug is a hug, right? No, a simple hug is the most basic ofembraces: a routine and momentary maneuver employedfor greetings, good-byes, and other everyday interactionswith family and friends. But a Huggle is a whole differentlevel of embrace. It is reserved only for those dearest to ourhearts. It is a tender move that demands more than a pass-ing moment and communicates more than a passing affec-tion for someone. Think of it as more of a standing snugglethan a cursory salutation. Both of you wrap your arms com-pletely around each other, pressing your bodies fully andwillfully into each other. You can rest your heads on eachother’s shoulder and gently rub each other’s back. Give into the instinct to close your eyes and, most importantly,linger in the warmth of each other’s embrace.The Cuddle Sutra 105
  68. 68. This truly is the universal cure for anyone feeling a littlesad or gloomy. He wraps his arms around her upperbody, giving her a bear hug, and then leans back, liftingher off the ground. She holds on for dear life, clutchinghim with both of her arms around his neck. This moveis most effective when performed as a surprise andshould last only a few seconds (for the sake of his lowerback). This is sure to bring a smile to both of your faces.The Cuddle Sutra 107THE PICK-ME-UP
  69. 69. THE GLEAPThere are few more boisterously joyful ways to share youraffection for one another than with this embrace. Whenyou find yourselves running wildly toward each other, atan airport arrivals terminal, for instance, this is the cud-dle of choice for you. With a running start, she leaps withglee into his waiting arms, wrapping her legs tightlyaround his waist. She locks herself in place by linkingher ankles together, and he secures her by hugging hisarms around her upper back. Hold tightly and promisenever to be apart again.The Cuddle Sutra 109
  70. 70. Don’t get nervous, now. Whether this relationship isheaded down the aisle or not, it always feels good tosweep someone off their feet. He lifts her into his arms,holding her under her knees and around her back. Sherests her arms around his neck, and you both stare lov-ingly into each other’s eyes. It’s also the perfect way tochivalrously carry her over puddles.The Cuddle Sutra 111THE THRESH HOLD
  71. 71. PROMENADEThis figure-skating-like hold says, “I love you so muchthat I am willing to look a little goofy in public.”Walking side by side, his shoulder is ever-so-slightly infront of hers. You link like-sided hands (right hand toright hand or left hand to left hand) with his arm com-pletely crossing in front of her body to hold her hand,which is resting straight at her side. With her otherhand, she can place her arm around his shoulder orrepeat the same position with the other hand for the fullfigure-skater effect and get ready to Double Lutz withthe best of them.The Cuddle Sutra 113
  72. 72. THE DIPOn the dance floor or off, nothing says “I trust you” morethan The Dip. He prepares for the move with her stand-ing sideways, perpendicular to him. He places his armsaround her shoulders and her waist and she wraps her armclosest to his around his waist and the other hand holdsonto his shoulder. To go into The Dip, he steps one legout to the side and supports her torso as she bends back-ward. She continues to hold onto his waist and shoulderas she leans, slightly bending her standing leg while kick-ing her other leg off the floor as far as possible. (For extrastyle points, her feet should be pointed.) Here is the trickto a successful dip: She never gives her weight fully over tohim. She maintains control and balance with her standingleg. She is always in control of how far back she bends.While in the dip, always maintain eye contact. Stay in thedip for just a moment or two and then come back to astanding position. For even more style points, perform themove with a rose in your mouth.The Cuddle Sutra 115
  73. 73. ABOUT THEAUTHORRob Grader is a writer, actor, television producer, massagetherapist, and committed cuddling devotee. He is theauthor of the award-winning book The Cheap Bastard’sGuide to New York City (Globe Pequot Press) and hecreated and produced the A&E reality series House ofDreams. As an actor, Rob has appeared in AmericanSplendor, Law & Order, Law & Order: SVU, and The Job,as well as on the stages of regional theaters around thecountry. As a licensed massage therapist for over ten years,he has relieved many an aching back working at many ofthe leading spas in Manhattan. He lives in New York Citywhere he cuddles the days away with his wife, Karen andtheir newborn son, Roscoe.ABOUT THE ILLUSTRATORLeela Corman is an illustrator, cartoonist, painter, andbellydancer. She lives in Brooklyn.
  74. 74. IINNDDUULLGGEE YYOOUURRSSEELLVVEESS WWIITTHH CCUUDDDDLLEESSFFOORR EEVVEERRYY PPLLAACCEE AANNDD TTIIMMEE::Snuggling in the bedroomCanoodling on the couchEntanglements for theaters, movies and concertsMoving maneuvers in trains, planes and automobilesAND MUCH MORE!www.sourcebooks.comCuddling is more intimate than sex…ISBN-13: 978-1-4022-1630-5ISBN-10: 1-4022-1630-0$10.95 U.S.