Anderson & Anderson
Adult
Anger Management
Facilitator Certification
Training

Agenda
The following topics will be covered in this
course:
• Anger Management Assessment
1.Anger
2.Stress
3.Emotional intelligence
4.Communication

Agenda continued
• Self-Awareness
• Self-Control
• Social Awareness
• Relationship Management
• Anderson & Anderson Ancillary training
material.
• Feedback about the training.

Course Objectives
Upon completion of this anger management
facilitator training program, the individual will
be able to:
• Recognize the role of individual
responsibility in changing unacceptable
behavior.
• Develop a working understanding of
anger/stress patterns and responses.

Course Objectives
• Use the Adult Anger Management Workbook and
Contrasting Wheels of Behavior as skill
enhancement tools.
• Understand how to use the 4 anchors of the
Anderson model in classroom management.
• Make the training more interesting by using
ancillary training materials including videos and
DVDs.

Course Objectives
• Help your participants through classroom
exercises and practice in order to:
o Identify “situational anger” that consistently
results in angry responses that can lead to
unacceptable behavior.
o Eliminate or minimize violent or unacceptable
behavior.
o Learn new coping skills to handle anger, stress
and other feelings.

Course Objectives
• Learn new assertive communication skills and listening
techniques effectively to improve effective
communication.
• Become aware of one’s own stress and anger signals
and develop the capacity to sense the mood of persons
with whom they must interact.
• Understand the entire curriculum is based on Emotional
Intelligence.
• Use sports analogies to help to understand the
importance of practicing new skills.

Anger Management Curriculum
What is it?
• Anger Management is a course designed to teach
skills in Self-Awareness, Self-Control,
• Social Awareness and Relationship Management.

Anger Management is not:
• Counseling
• Psychotherapy
• Nor a treatment for mental illness

Anger Management is
Anger Management is an emotional intelligence skill
enhancement course which teaches new coping skills
so that an individual can change unacceptable
behavioral patterns.

First Assignment
• Complete the Control Log, which is one of the
Anchors of the program.
• Have the group analyze each client’s Control Log
by using the Contrasting Wheels of Behavior.

Positive Wheel & Negative Wheel

Contrasting Wheels of Behavior
• At any point, the group can be directed to
analyze a particular incident by using these
tools.
• The Positive Wheel is what we want each client
to master.
• The Negative Wheel relates to sell-awareness
and self-control.

Anger
Anyone can become angry –
that is easy. But to be angry
with the right person, to the
right degree, at the right
time, for the right purpose, and
in the right way – that is not
easy.
– Aristotle

Getting Started
Starting the educational process.
• Intake
o Assessment
o Workbook
 Group rules
 Control Log
 First assignment

Emotional Intelligence
Assessment
• An assessment/screening should be provided at intake.
• Goal of assessment is to select individuals who may
benefit from a psycho-educational/emotional intelligence
model.
• Rule out candidates who are not appropriate for this type of
intervention.
• Determine the clients level of EQ functioning.

Rule out the following categories
• Brain damaged clients
• Psychotic clients
• Clients who are abusing
drugs or alcohol
• Suicidal/homicidal clients
• Unmotivated clients

Assessment
• Anderson & Anderson
recommends that an
assessment be done
during intake.
• The recommended
assessment tool is the
BarOn Emotional Quotient
Inventory.

BarOn Emotional Quotient Inventory
• Masters or Doctoral level persons with training in
psychometrics may purchase these assessments
directly from MHS Systems
• or
• Anderson & Anderson can provide the
assessments and interpretation on-line in
minutes

Group Rules
are the 4th Anchor

The Group Rules
• The Group Rules should be customized
for use in Jails,Prisons or Military
Establishments.
• When clients are in violation of the rules, a
review of the rules can quickly bring the
group together and back on target.

CASE
The 4 major areas of study in this model
are:
• Communications
• Anger Management
• Stress
• Emotional Intelligence/Empathy

Control Log Workbook
Control Log DATE ____ / ____ / ____
Briefly describe the incident that resulted in your
referral to this program.
1. Actions:
What did you want to happen in this situation?
2. Beliefs:
What caused you to think that your actions would
get the results you wanted?
3. Feelings:
What feelings were you having?

Control Log Continued
4. Denial:
Did you attempt to make light of your role in this
situation?
Did you attempt to blame the other person?
5. Cost of Anger:
What was the impact of your action?
On you:
On the other person:
On others:

Control Log Continued
6. Past Incidents:
Did any past aggression on your part affect this
situation?
7. Alternatives:
What could you have done differently?

Constructive
Interpersonal
Interactions
Positive Wheel

Definitions of Positive Wheel
Define the following terms in your own words:
• Assertiveness
• Active Listening
• Focusing
• Seeking compromise
• Rephrasing
• Honest Feedback
• Expressing Feelings
• Stating Needs

Destructive
Interpersonal
Interactions
Negative Wheel

Definitions of Negative Wheel
Define the following terms in your own words:
• Hostility
• Inattention
• Intimidation
• Controlling
• Manipulation
• Interrupting
• Avoidance
• Rage

The 4 Anchors
• The 4 Anchors which appear on the
following slide can be used as often as
needed to enhance EQ skills.
 Constructive Interaction
 Destructive Interaction
 The Control Log
 Group Rules

The 4 Anchors
Control
Log

Anger, what is it?
• Webster’s definition is;
“a strong feeling of
displeasure and
belligerence aroused
by a real or supposed
wrong”.
• Anger is a basic
human emotion used
to express negative
feelings.

Anger is a Primitive Response

The Primitive Roots of Anger
• Anger is generated in the part of the brain
called the limbic system. This is a primitive
part of the brain concerned with survival.
• The limbic system responds to external stimuli
nearly half a second before we can begin
thinking about what we have seen.
• The limbic system hijacks both the brain and
body in “emergency” situations.

Fight or

Flight !

Expression of Anger
• Anger is a normal human
emotion.
• Everyone at some time
experiences anger.

The Expression of Anger

Expression of Anger
When the expression of anger manifests itself
in antisocial, self-damaging, or behavior that is
damaging it becomes a problem.
Then the expression of anger needs to be
modified through the anger management
educational process.

Anger is a problem when any of
the following situations occur:
• When it is too intense
• When it occurs too frequently
• When it last too long
• When it causes health problems
• When it destroys interpersonal
relationships
• When it leads to aggression of violence

Learned Response?

Burning a CD
• Most of our responses
to situations are
learned at a young
age.
• These responses can
create self-destructive
behaviors patterns.

Push My Buttons

Destroying the Old CDs
• Behavior that is
learned can be
modified with practice
and patience.
• Anger Management is
helping individuals
recognize and manage
these self-destructive
behaviors.

Burning a new CD
Anger Management helps
Individuals “Burn new CDs” so that when
someone pushes their buttons they can
respond with a new more appropriate tune.
The application of Anger Management
techniques increases Emotional
Intelligence.
This is done by learning and practicing a
new set of skills.

Anger Check list
• Use the checklist in the client
workbook to assist your
students in determining their
level of anger.

Heavy Costs of Anger

Anger Destroys Personal
Relationships
We often think that
anger effects
strangers, however
it’s normally the
people closest to us
that are hurt.

Anger,Makes Bad Situations
Worse
Road Rage
Aggression or Violence

Desk Rage !

Personal Self Awareness Inventory

Stress Management

Three Skills
for Managing Stress
1.Develop Awareness
o Identifying your stressors
o What causes you
Drama?
2.Acceptance
o Keeping situations in
focus
o Talking to yourself
3.Coping
o Just do it!
o Get away from it all

Skill 1
Develop Awareness

Symptoms of Stress
Check each stressor that you notice in your life:
• Checking time often
• Trying to do everything
• Eating very fast
• Rushing to places when there is perfectly
no need • Not getting along with
• Standing in lines others
• Walking fast even though you • Getting angry when
are not in a hurry
someone says you did
something wrong
• Always trying to beat
others
• Not getting things done
on time
• Worrying about things

Negative Self-talk:
Nine Categories
1.Digital Thinking: Seeing things as
black or white a “one” or a “zero” with
no in-between value.
o “If I’m not perfect, then I’m a complete
failure.”
2.Hot Stove Thinking: A mind set
based on a single event.
o It is destructive to assume that what has
happened in the past will always happen
again.

Negative Self-talk:
Nine Categories
1. Telepathic Thinking: You assume
you know what others are thinking
and how they feel about you.
2. “Chicken Little” Thinking: Making
the importance of an event larger
than it really is, seeing disaster
where there is none. The
o Is the sky really falling? Sky is
Falling!

Negative Self-talk:
Nine Categories
1.Center-of-the-
Universe Thinking:
Everyone else’s
behavior is a reaction to
you, and you always
compare yourself to
others.

Negative Self-talk:
Nine Categories
6. Control Myopia: Unable
to tell the difference between
things that can and cannot
be controlled or which are
important or can be ignored.

Negative Self-talk:
Nine Categories
1.Finger Pointing: You feel a
bad event is always someone
else's fault. You look only at
punishing the people who did
wrong.

Negative Self-talk:
Nine Categories
8. Hall Monitor Mindset: You feel there is a
code of behavior that must be followed by you
and others. You feel bad when the rules
aren’t followed and you see the injustice of it
all.

Negative Self-talk:
Nine Categories
9. Remote-Controlled
Thinking: You think your
feelings are known to
everyone. You believe
that if you feel a certain
way, then the facts of the
situation must be in line
with that feeling.

Worry
• Our negative thoughts about stressors
often manifest as “worry.”
“Worrying is about as effective as
trying to solve an algebra equation by
chewing bubblegum.”
– Mary Schmich

Skill 2
Acceptance
• Use positive self-dialogue
• This might be the time for CBT
o Cognitive Behavioral Therapy

Three-step Process:
Affirmative Thinking
1.Listen:
Pay attention to your unwanted stress reactions.
2.Analyze:
o Are the self-messages true?
o Is the tone of the self-talk negative?
o If so, what type of belief does it represent?
(Digital Thinking, Hot Stove Thinking, Chicken Little
Thinking, and Control Myopia, etc.)

Three-step Process:
Affirmative Thinking - Continued
1.Replace:
Negative self-talk with positive self-talk
based on affirmative beliefs.
o By making a new habit of affirmative thinking and
positive self-talk, you will be able to control your
unwanted reactions to stress.

Affirmations to Manage Stress
• I control my emotions.
• I get rid of all tensions.
• I take charge of my life.
• I can deal with stress.
• I let go and have fun every day.
• I have time to do my work every day.
• My life is great just the way it is.
• I am excited about my life.

Develop a “Stress Resistant”
Personality
• Keep situations In focus.
• Worrying about things
that will never happen.
• When put into a stressful
situation, people will
normally think the worst.
• Use positive self-talk to
fight this tendency.
• Talk to a Professional.

Skill 3:
Coping Skills, the Do’s
• Physical exercise is an ideal way to
help reduce your stress level.
• Exercise has a calming effect that
lasts long after the exercise session
is over.

Skill 3:
Coping Skills, the Do’s
• Take a mind trip
• Do a body inventory
o Sit or lay in a comfortable position and
mentally scan your body for tense
areas.
o Start at the bottom and work your way
up your body relaxing each area as
you go alone.
• Talk yourself down with calming
self-talk

Coping Skills
The Don’ts
• Eating and smoking are not a good
way to deal with stress.
• Smoking and alcohol can:
o increase the physical impact of stress
o increase the likelihood of depression.

Systematic Desensitization
Four steps to a less stressful life:
1.Recognize how your body reacts to
stress.
2.List of stressful or anxiety provoking
events.
3.Practice makes perfect (do it in your
mind)
4.Practice makes perfect (do it for real)

How well do you manage stress ?
• Can you name three
situations that cause
stress in your life?
• Can you list three
symptoms, physical, e
motional or behavioral
that occur when you
are stressed?

Acceptance Skills
1.Are you able to maintain the
proper attitude?
2.Can you sometimes talk yourself
out of feeling stressed?
3.To what extent can you
anticipate stressful situations
and apply prevention strategies
to protect yourself?

Coping Skills
• Do you know and use relaxation
techniques like deep breathing or
meditation?
• When you feel stressed, do you ever
exercise to get rid of this feeling?

Action Skills
• Make a list and prioritize tasks to keep yourself
from feeling too rushed?
• How do you plan your activates to avoid or
reduce stress?

Communication Skills
• Are you able to express your
feelings easily?
• Can you communicate
effectively with others when
conflicts arise?
• Are you able to listen to
others with a sense of
concern and caring?

Stress Log
Use the stress log to
keep track of the
stressors and responses
you noticed through the
day.

Thinking Ahead
• Choose two high risk situations which
you are concerned about now.
• Identify your physical, emotional, and
behavioral reactions to the stressor.
• Write the situations down and identify
three coping strategies or ways to
handle these with our resorting to
inappropriate behavior.

Stress Test
1.What is stress?
2.What are three skills you can use to manage
stress?
3.Name two physical signs of stress.
4.Name two emotional or behavioral symptoms of
stress

Stress Test
What do we mean by:
1.“stress is good”?
2.“stress is harmful”?
3.“stress is energy”?
4.What causes stress in your life?

Part 3
Emotional Intelligence (EQ)
Simply means:
Putting your heart over your head.
EQ skills can be practiced and
learned at any point in one’s life.
EQ is a greater predictor of success in
life, work and marriage than is IQ.
Our emotions guide us in facing
predicaments and tasks too important
to leave to intellect alone.

The Four Domains of Emotional
Intelligence
1.Self awareness
2.Self control
3.Social awareness
4.Relationship management
• Self-awareness facilitates both empathy and self
control.
• Empathy and self control combine to provide
effective relationship management.

Self Awareness
• Emotional self
awareness: Reading
one’s own emotions and
recognizing their impact.
• Accurate self
assessment: Knowing
one’s strengths and
limits.
• Self Confidence: A
sound sense of one’s self
worth and capabilities.

Self Control
• Emotional self control: Keeping disruptive
emotions and impulses under control.
• Transparency: Displaying honesty and
integrity – trustworthiness.
• Adaptability: Flexibly adapting to changing
situations or new obstacles.
• Achievement: The drive to perform to meet
personal standards.
• Initiative: Readiness to act and seize
opportunities.
• Optimism: Seeing the possibilities in events –
“The glass is half-full.”

Social Awareness
• Empathy: Sensing others’
emotions, understanding their
perspectives, and taking active
interest in their concerns.
• Group awareness: Reading the
currents, decision networks, and
politics at the group level.
• Service: Recognizing and
meeting the needs of others.

Relationship Management
• Inspiration: Motivating and
empowering with a compelling vision.
• Influence: Impacting decisions and
outcomes while respecting the rights
of others.
• Mentoring: Helping others to
develop.
• Conflict management: Resolving
disagreements.
• Collaboration:
Partnership, cooperation, and
teamwork.

Self Awareness: The Foundation
• Without self-awareness, we cannot be aware of our
emotions.
• We cannot manage emotions we are not aware of, so
our emotions will tend to be out of control.
• Out of control emotions impair our ability to experience
empathy and to connect with others.
• When our emotions are out of control, our relationships
suffer – we do not have social awareness or the ability
for social management.

Self Awareness and Anger
• Self awareness allows us to
notice destructive feelings, such
as resentment.
• Resentment can be used to
justify actions.
• Self control allows us to use
assertive communication to
resolve emotional distress.
• Thus, the resentment does not
continue to fester bursting out as
rage.

Emotions & Feelings
• Emotion: A set of body-rooted survival
mechanisms that have evolved to turn
us away from danger and propel us
forward to things that may be of
benefit.
• Feelings: The mental awareness of
emotions.

The Importance of Emotions
• A life without emotion, without joy or
love, sadness or anger, would not be life as we
know it.
• Emotions allow one to make rational
decisions, especially in a moment of crisis.
• Emotions help us to function efficiently in any
capacity.
• Without emotions it can be difficult to make the
simplest decision or to pursue any single plan to
fruitful conclusion.
• Without emotions it is difficult to evaluate one
thing over another.

Managing Negative Emotions
1.Identify the feeling.
2.Ask if it is healthy
or helpful.
1.If it’s not healthy
work to put it out of
your mind.

The Four Agreements
Don Miguel Ruiz’s book, “The Four
Agreements”, exposes self-limiting beliefs and
shows how to strengthen emotional
intelligence:
1.Be impeccable with your word.
2.Don’t take anything personally.
3.Don’t make assumptions.
4.Always do your best.

Self-Talk
• Often, self-talk is negative and hurtful:
o “Oh, I’m such an idiot to have done that again!”
• Self-talk may be aimed at others and lead to
anger:
o “What a jerk he is! Is he too stupid to use his turn
signal?!?”
• Being impeccable with our word means
learning to reframe our self-talk.

I am
smart
Positive Self-Talk
• Positive self-talk will break the anger
cycle and led the way towards higher
self-esteem.
• Positive self-talk is honest, but non-
judgmental. It is being impeccable with
your word.
• Frequently it is a challenge to develop
positive self-talk.
• With practice positive self-talk will
become automatic.

Anger Management

Anger First Aid
• When the limbic system is running amok
and surging with adrenaline, a simple
strategy to deal with anger is needed.
• Anger First Aid consists of three simple
steps to apply whenever you become angry
in order to keep from acting out
destructively.

Anger First Aid
Step 1. Recognize that you feel angry.

Anger First Aid
Step 2. Take a cleansing breath.

Anger First Aid
Step 3. Take a “time-out” to “cool-down.”

Take a Time Out
• Whatever situation triggers anger, angry people
are in no state of mind to resolve it effectively.
• The limbic system impairs judgment and the
ability to reason during anger.
• It is effective to wait until one has calmed down
before attempting to resolve the situation.

Three Elements of a Time-Out
1.Tell the other person that you are
taking a time-out.
1.Tell the other person how long your
time-out will be.
1.Actually take a mental time-out. Do not
focus on the problem or how you have
been wronged – this will only make
things worse!

Six Seconds
• According to Six Seconds, the leading
emotional intelligence organization in the
nation:
• It takes six seconds to manage anger
• It takes six seconds to create compassion
• It takes six seconds to make a difference

Anger Log
Situation: Describe the situation about
which you became angry.
• Beliefs – What did you tell yourself about
the situation?
• Feelings – Describe how you felt.
• Actions – Describe what you did.
• Dispute – If your thinking is what caused
the anger, modify your thought
processes.

Seven Steps to Anger Control
1.Feelings
2.Thoughts
3.Reframe
4.Clarify
5.Goals
6.Options
7.Actions

Communication

Improving Communication
4 Key Elements:
1. The ability to listen without judging.
2. Show understanding of what has been
said.
3. Acknowledge and accept another’s
views.
4. Don’t impose your beliefs on someone
else.

Roadblocks to Communication
Eleven communication stoppers
1. Ordering
2. Warning
3. Preaching
4. Advising
5. Lecturing
6. Criticizing
7. Name calling
8. Analyzing
9. Denying feelings
10.Interrogating
11.Sarcasm

8 Positive Communications Skills
1.Silence
2.Acknowledgement
3.Validate
4.Encourage
5.Positive body language
6.Restate
7.Reflect
8.Summarize

4 Styles of Communication
1.Passive
2.Passive-Aggressive
3.Aggressive
4.Assertive

“I” Message
Assertive Communication Model
I feel
When
Because
I need

Termination/Completion
• Review the original entry on each client’s
Control Log.
• Contrast the changes or lack of changes.
• Suggest problems areas for future work.
• Ask each client to contribute feedback to
those completing the course.

The Key to Success in Mastering
Anger Management…
• Motivation to change
• &
• Practice,
practice,
practice

12301 Wilshire Blvd., Suite 418
Los Angeles, CA 90025
Tel: 310.207.3591~Fax: 310.207.6234
andersonandandersonapc@gmail.com
www.andersonservices.com
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