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01 Relationship Science (1).pptx

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01 Relationship Science (1).pptx

  1. 1. Lectures: Relationship Science Hana M. Haniffa B.Sc. Psychology (USA), M.A. Psychotherapy and Counseling (IND) Founder/Managing Director Izy Counseling And Higher Education Consultants Email: izyconsultant@gmail.com Mob : 076 973 8967
  2. 2. Relationship Science  A relationship refers to the correspondence between two variables. When we talk about types of relationships, we can mean that in at least two ways: the nature of the relationship or the pattern of it.  Basic Types of Relationships  Family relationships.  Friendships.  Acquaintances.  Romantic relationships.  Sexual relationships.  Work relationships.  Situational relationships (sometimes called "situationships")
  3. 3. Attraction, Compatibility, and seduction  Attraction plays an important role in drawing us to other people. While it's common to think of attraction in a sexual context, there are several different types of attraction that people experience throughout their lives.  Attraction can be defined as an affinity for something or someone. It can be romantic, but it can also be emotional, platonic, physical, sexual, or intellectual.
  4. 4. Types of Attraction 1. Physical Attraction  Physical attraction involves a desire to touch or be touched. It often centers on the desire to be around other people and to show love and affection through physical touch.  Physical attraction is not the same as sexual attraction, although the two share some similarities.  While sexual attraction focuses on becoming involved sexually, physical attraction focuses on other forms of touch that are not necessarily sexual. Hugging, kissing, and other physical forms of physical affection are a few examples of how this type of attraction may be expressed.
  5. 5. Types of Attraction 2. Emotional Attraction  Emotional attraction involves having an affinity for another person based on their personality or other inner characteristics. When you are emotionally attracted to someone, you often feel a desire to learn more about them because of who they are as a person and not because of their physical appearance.  This type of attraction plays an important role in all types of close interpersonal relationships, including friendships and romantic relationships.  Research suggests that emotional attraction can play a pivotal role in the success of romantic relationships.
  6. 6. Types of Attraction 3.Romantic Attraction  Romantic attraction is a type of attraction in which people desire a romantic relationship with another person. It is not the same thing as sexual attraction, although the two can often occur at the same time. Romantic attraction can also occur without the desire for physical or sexual contact. 4.Sexual Attraction  Sexual attraction is an attraction based on the desire to engage in sexual activity with another person. It can inspire feelings of arousal and lust, and it isn't necessarily limited to real life. It can also involve fantasies or a sexual attraction to people who you find appealing and arousing but who you will never have intimate contact with (like a crush on your favorite celebrity).  While physical attraction and romantic attraction often overlap with sexual attraction, there is a great deal of variety in terms of what people experience in terms of romantic and sexual attraction.
  7. 7. Types of Attraction 5. Aesthetic Attraction  Aesthetic attraction involves believing that something is beautiful and visually appealing, but not feeling the need to pursue any type of physical, romantic, platonic, or sexual relationship.  You might see people in your life who you feel are very beautiful, whether they are people you know or celebrities that you see in popular media. This type of attraction involves feeling an appeal or affinity for the visual, aesthetic appearance of that person, but it does not extend to wanting any type of contact or relationship.
  8. 8. Compatibility  Relationship compatibility exists, first and foremost, when a couple relates with equality and respect. It's important for couples to have fun together and really enjoy the time they spend together. Relationships thrive when two people share companionship and activities.  In compatible relationships, people have mutual, connected, or symbiotic goals. People either work towards the same general objectives, there's a reliance on each other's success, or they have individual goals that facilitate those of the other.  Love and compatibility are not the same thing, though they are often confused for one another. Being intensely attracted to someone doesn't always translate to a thriving partnership. Getting along with someone doesn't mean your relationship can blossom into romance if only you try hard enough to muster up desire.
  9. 9. Compatibility  Signs of compatibility in a relationship • You share similar values. ... • You communicate well with each other. ... • You have a healthy level of conflict. ... • You respect each other's differences. ... • You support each other in everything you do. ... • You are both secure in the relationship and enjoy being around each other.
  10. 10. Compatibility  Compatibility in a relationship means that both partners understand and accept each other's life philosophy and goals, as well as genuinely enjoy being around each other without feeling preoccupied by what they feel needs to change within their partner. In a compatible relationship, both partners can be very different personality wise, but will tend to agree on several core factors that dictate how they both want to build their lives together. In a compatible, healthy relationship, both partners will strive to meet each other's relational needs.
  11. 11. Seduction  The main goal of seduction whether it is active under conscious or unconscious mechanisms is to impress the desired partner and display positive characteristics that are likely to be attractive, and to repress undesirable characteristics.  Seduction has multiple meanings. Platonically, it can mean "to persuade to disobedience or disloyalty", or "to lead astray, usually by persuasion or false promises“.
  12. 12. Body Language  Body language is the unspoken part of communication that we use to reveal our true feelings and to give our message more impact.  Communication is made up of so much more than words. Nonverbal cues such as tone of voice, gestures and posture all play their part.  Body language is a silent orchestra, as people constantly give clues to what they’re thinking and feeling. Non-verbal messages including body movements, facial expressions, vocal tone and volume, and other signals are collectively known as body language. 
  13. 13. Body Language  A simple example of body language is a relaxed facial expression that breaks out into a genuine smile – with mouth upturned and eyes wrinkled. Equally, it can be a tilt of the head that shows you're thinking, an upright stance to convey interest, or hand and arm movements to demonstrate directions. It can also be taking care to avoid a defensive, arms-crossed posture, or restlessly tapping your feet.  When you can "read" signs like these, you can understand the complete message in what someone is telling you. You'll be more aware of people's reactions to what you say and do, too. And you'll be able to adjust your body language to appear more positive, engaging and approachable.  Micro expressions (brief displays of emotion on the face), hand gestures, and posture all register in the human brain almost immediately—even when a person is not consciously aware they have perceived anything. For this reason, body language can strongly color how an individual is perceived, and how he or she, in turn, interprets others’ motivation, mood, and openness. It's natural to mirror; beginning as soon as infancy, a newborn moves its body to the rhythm of the voice he hears.
  14. 14. Dating  Dating is a prearranged planned activity between two people. Its traditionally initiated by the male and it happens when one asks the other to share an activity.  The Purposes of dating is as follows  1. Socialization – To develop appropriate social skills and to practice having a good relationship with others in different settings.  2. Recreation - To have fun and enjoy the companionship of others. Also, to try new and different activities.  3. Selection of a mate – To see others in different settings and situations. To understand their personalities and characteristics.
  15. 15. Relationship Concerns  Much of the common relationship issues that couples face are minor and can easily be avoided with mutual effort, understanding and respect. Although bumps along the path of marriage are unavoidable, if you are aware of them beforehand, you will be able to overcome them without leading your relationship to the verge of collapse.  None of us are perfect, nor will we exactly be the same on every level. 1. Expectations  One of the fastest ways to create unhappiness and instability in a relationship is through disappointment. And very few things create disappointment as quickly as unmet expectations.  There are typically two common relationship problems with expectations in a relationship: 1.unrealistic expectations 2.unclear expectations
  16. 16. Relationship Concerns  Oftentimes, couples struggle to meet each other’s expectations because they are simply unrealistic. It’s important to understand that our expectations often derive from other people, past experiences, beliefs, or internal values. However, that doesn’t change the fact that they are sometimes very toxic to our relationship. If you want to avoid unhappiness in your relationship, it is your responsibility to be very clear about your expectations and share those with your partner.
  17. 17. Relationship Concerns  2. Communication  One of the most common relationship issues that couples face is communication. There is often either a complete absence of communication, constant miscommunication, or very poor communication. The result is almost always frustration, unhappiness, and unmet needs. Many times, the root cause of the communication issue is in “interpretation.”  You misunderstand what the other person is saying and spend too much time and energy arguing a point your partner never intended. It’s a futile exercise. It is, therefore, essential to take the time to fully comprehend what your partner is trying to say.
  18. 18. Relationship Concerns  3. Unsupportive partner  Another common relationship problem occurs when a partner is unsupportive of goals and interests. When you are in a relationship, you want to treat your partner like they can be whatever they want to be.  You want them to follow their dreams and will do anything you can to help support them along the way – and you expect the same in return!  4. Finances  One of the most common relationship problems couples will admit to are troubles in the relationship with finances. Not having enough money or not knowing how to split your financial burdens, as well as loss of jobs, a lack of money, poor money management, debt, and overspending are all common issues that can put pressure on relationships.
  19. 19. Relationship Concerns  5. Cheating and other forms of infidelity  Cheating is a huge issue in relationships today. The internet has made all forms of cheating as simple as downloading an app. Sexting, emotional affairs, porn, sneaking around, and physical relationships with someone other than your romantic partner are all huge issues that damage relationships, sometimes irreversibly.  6. Lack of appreciation  Appreciation is what keeps us motivated and committed, both in our work and our relationships.  Remembering to compliment or notice the things our partner shows, we are grateful and increases the overall satisfaction with the relationship. Saying thank you goes a long way.
  20. 20. Laws of attraction  The law of attraction is a philosophy suggesting that positive thoughts bring positive results into a person's life, while negative thoughts bring negative outcomes. It is based on the belief that thoughts are a form of energy and that positive energy attracts success in all areas of life, including health, finances, and relationships.  Many factors influence our initial attraction to others including Physical attraction / Proximity / Similarity / Reciprocity / Intelligence.
  21. 21. Laws of attraction  How much we like someone and how attracted we are to a person may of course change with time.  For some people, attraction appears after years of friendship. Our colleague or close friend may seem incredibly attractive.  Closeness  It’s more likely that we feel attracted to someone who’s closer to us geographically – such as someone who lives in our area or a person at work.  Similarity  It’s more likely that we get attracted to someone who’s more similar to us than not. Being similar does not, however, predict the longevity of the relationship or how happy we are together.
  22. 22. Laws of attraction  Physical Excitement  When we meet someone we don’t know and are physically aroused (for example have a higher heart rate as a result of an adrenaline rush), it increases the chances we’ll feel instant attraction.  Mood  We like people who make us feel good. We like other people more when we ourselves feel good – even if it wasn’t the other person who made us feel good.  Looks  People of all gender identities are more attracted to people they find good looking. But the attraction we feel may depend on whether others experience that person as attractive, and the context we’re in (that is if there are other attractive/less attractive people in the same room). A person’s looks tend to be more important at the beginning of a relationship compared to later on in a romantic relationship.
  23. 23. First Impression  The first impression is very important for any relation to starting and to keep it successful forever. Building trust is required for a relationship of the long run. Without trust, you cannot rely on any person, and many people believe in love at first site. It takes a fraction of seconds for a new person to make an impression on others.  Surprisingly, the first impression is found to be pretty correct regarding competence and trustworthiness. The appearance of a person usually reflects the right impression on the other person. It is very important for making your relationship successful.  Body language plays a major role in making the good first impression on others. Your truthfulness to your partner comes out purely by the way you speak, listen and move. When your body language matches with the speech, then it reinforces trust and rapport on your partner. Your confidence and postures and the eye contact can win your partner's heart.
  24. 24. First Impression It takes a mere seven seconds to make a first impression. People thin-slice others based on how a person looks and sounds, more so than their explicit verbal statements. Often, someone's first impression is influenced by implicit attitudes of which they are unaware, which explains impulsive actions like giving special preference to those with physical beauty or more easily trusting a person who has a babyface. The observational powers (biases) of the observer are just as important as the qualities projected by the target, or person being judged, making these judgments a constant dance between objective information and selective signal-reading.
  25. 25. Tips for maintaining healthy relationships • People often spend a lot of time talking about how to spot a bad relationship, but not about what constitutes a healthy relationship. Consider the following: • Do you respect each other? • Do you support each other’s interests and efforts? • Are you honest and open with each other? • Are you able to maintain your individual identity? • Do you talk about your feelings, hopes, fears, and dreams?
  26. 26. Tips for maintaining healthy relationships • Do you feel and express fondness and affection? • Is there equality and fairness in your relationship?  Every person’s needs are different. For example, some people have higher needs for openness and affection than others do. In a healthy relationship, each person is able to get what they need.
  27. 27. Tips for maintaining healthy relationships  There are a number of different ways that couples can show respect for one another. These include: • Listening to one another • Not procrastinating when your partner asks you to do something • Being understanding and forgiving when one person makes a mistake • Building each other up; not tearing each other down • Making room in your life for your partner
  28. 28. Tips for maintaining healthy relationships • Taking an interest in the things your partner enjoys • Allowing your partner to have their own individuality • Supporting and encouraging your partner’s pursuits and passions • Showing appreciation and gratitude for one another • Having empathy for one another

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