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Hostage negotiations

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When stakeholders hold progress hostage!

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Hostage negotiations

  1. 1. • http://www.yourepeat.com/watch/?v=GtARiQ O8ljE&start_at=4&end_at=171
  2. 2. Hostage Negotiations For the feint at heart (or skills of Tactical Communication)
  3. 3. Why? • “Many situations come about because the person is looking for attention for himself or for a cause. He takes a hostage, makes threats and does a lot of screaming and makes demands, many of them impossible. He believes he is successful because of all the police and media presence. He is on the news!” Frank A. Bolz Jr., a founder of the New York Police Department’s hostage-negotiation team
  4. 4. Hostage Situation Types • Criminal • Domestic • Cause related (terrorism) Domestic is the most common form, and is the most dangerous. (87%) The stakeholders know each other, know their weaknesses and faults. They are emotional.
  5. 5. hostage taker’s choices: 1. Gameover: kill hostages and commit suicide. He who dies with the most toys wins 2. Lessen demands to achievable proportions and continue negotiations. 3. Surrender. Change their behavior
  6. 6. FBI Training • Behavioral Change Stairway Model 5 steps to getting someone else to see your point of view & change what they’re doing
  7. 7. 1. Actively Listen 2. Display Empathy 3. Build Rapport 4. Use Your Influence to work out solution 5. Behavioral Change -they come out with their hands up!
  8. 8. How everyone screws it up…….. Untrained negotiators skip steps 1-3 and jump to working on a solution. “Let’s work on this problem together I’m sure we kind find away” That never works People assume that the other person is rational and proceed by convincing the other person how to solve the problem – but - People are not rational
  9. 9. “…Human beings are incapable of being rational… So instead of pretending emotions don’t exist, hostage negotiators have actually designed an approach that take emotions fully into account and uses them to influence situation outcomes…. Chris Voss, former head of FBI International hostage negotiation
  10. 10. But I don’t have time! If you have to skip steps, just do step one • Active Listening “instead of making your argument, hear the other side out, that’s the only way you can quiet the voice in the other guy’s mind. But most people don’t do that. They don’t walk into a discussion wanting to hear what the other side has to say. They walk into a discussion wanting to state their point. They don’t pay attention to emotions and they don’t listen.” Chris Voss, former head of FBI International hostage negotiation
  11. 11. Ok, how do I Actively Listen? • Emotional labeling (Call a horse a horse) • Minimal Encouragers (Keep them talking) • Paraphrase (Repeat what’s said in your own words) • Ask questions (shows you’ve been paying attention and moves the discussion forward) • Stop talking (it’s not about you)
  12. 12. Emotional Labeling • Re-stating the emotions that you have heard in the conversation thus far. • Don’t disagree or evaluate • You aren’t agreeing with their crazy behavior, you are just showing them you understand the English language. Plus add some justice.
  13. 13. Emotional Labeling Examples • “You don’t need to feel that way. The entire team just wants to help out and arguing about it isn’t worth the energy.” Bad Response - it is judgmental. It tells the subject how not to feel. It minimizes the subject’s feelings, which are a major part of who they are. It is Subtractive Empathy. • “You sound pretty discouraged about the design of the screen being changed. It doesn’t seem fair.” Good Response-it identifies the hurt that underlies the anger and adds the idea of justice, an idea that can lead to other ways of getting justice.
  14. 14. Minimal Encouragers • I’m still listening, please keep talking….. • Yes, ok, I see • Reinforcing that you are paying attention and interested • Stay focused, if you check your email, watch the clock or fool with your shoe you just lost their confidence!
  15. 15. Paraphrasing It isn’t about you or your understanding………. 1. try to discover what’s important to them 2. try to help them hear what they’re saying to find out if what they are saying makes sense to them…or if it’s insane. *Use words that mean something to the other side, not your side. “I’m sick and tired of being pushed around,” to which the negotiator can respond, “Feel pushed, huh?” Gary Noesner, author of Stalling for Time: My Life as an FBI Hostage Negotiator
  16. 16. What Questions? • Make sure questions are open-ended – not yes or no • Don’t be judgmental, just get the facts Do you have a gun? Is a bad question. The focus is on the gun, not the person. Why are you here today? Is a good question. It will end with the terrorist telling you if they have a gun, among all the other details.
  17. 17. The Power of the Pause “Eventually, even the most emotionally overwrought subjects will find it difficult to sustain a one-sided argument, and they again will return to meaningful dialogue with negotiators. Thus, by remaining silent at the right times, negotiators actually can move the overall negotiation process forward.” Gary Noesner, author of Stalling for Time: My Life as an FBI Hostage Negotiator
  18. 18. GAME OVER! they executed the hostage, now what? “Terrorists like to say that they’re administers of justice carrying out a sentence. They liken themselves to the executioner in a trial. Terrorism is theater. That’s essentially what it is on both sides. You need to get to the neutral people, the audience, and win them over. You can still win the battle.” ~Chris Voss You do that by appearing to take the high road. Do it quickly before the Stockholm syndrome sets in. Some hostages come to display an emotional attachment toward their captors.
  19. 19. Remember-Actively Listen! • Emotional labeling (Call a horse a horse) • Minimal Encouragers (Keep them talking) • Paraphrase (Repeat what’s said in your own words) • Ask questions (shows you’ve been paying attention and moves the discussion forward) • Stop talking (it’s not about you)
  20. 20. Want more? • askthenegotiator.org blog • black swan • negotiating a used car • Stalling for Time: My Life as an FBI Hostage Negotiator • Behaviorial Change Stairway Model • Time Article: using hostage negotiation to get what you want

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