Methods for how to interact with difficult personalities at work: Listening skills, attitudes, communication skills as well as exercises.

1. Dealing with Difficult
People at Work
Jackie Woodside, LICSW, CPC
WWW.JACKIEWOODSIDE.COM
JACKIE@JACKIEWOODSIDE.COM

2. To begin with:
 Who deals with difficult people at work?
 Who deals with difficult people in your personal life?

3. What to do?
 You can leave your organization to avoid the person who’s
making you crazy, but he/she will be waiting for you at your next
job in a different body!

4. Intention of the training:
 Each person will be left with a new sense of power, clarity and
possibility in regards to dealing with the difficult people in their life.

5. What is your intention?
(write down their own intention here and then share it with a partner)

6. What do we mean by “difficult person?”
 Not a personality, but a behavior. You can impact, influence and change
behavior, personalities cannot.

7. Can difficult people change their
behavior?
Yes…. If….
 They are motivated to change
 They feel their needs are being met
An interesting secret of changing difficult behavior is to see that when you
change your behavior, approach and attitude with the person, you may see
a positive change in their behavior.

8. The anatomy of a difficult person
encounter
Event
Interpretation /
Perception
Emotional and
Physical
response
Behavioral
Response
Attitudinal
Response

9. Which of these steps do you have control
over?

10. Small group sharing and discussion:
1. Identify a difficult person you are now dealing with in the
workplace (not by name)

11. Small group sharing and discussion:
2. What is it about their behavior that you experience as difficult? (Be
as specific as possible)

12. Small group sharing and discussion:
3. How is your perception or interpretation of that behavior?

13. Small group sharing and discussion:
4. How do you feel when you are in the face of that behavior with
that perception?

14. Small group sharing and discussion:
5. How do you respond (what is your behavior)?

15. Small group sharing and discussion:
6. How do you feel about your response?

16. Identifying types of difficult behavior
 Group exercise

17. Success strategies for dealing with difficult
people
 Small group exercise followed by discussion

18. The Yeller
“I’m not sure why you’re speaking to me in that tone of voice but it is not
how I prefer to be spoken to. I request that you please stop shouting or I will
need to end this conversation.”

19. The Negaholic
“I know how committed you are to seeing improvements around here. I’m
sure with your (fill in the blank) skill, energy, commitment, enthusiasm, things
are going to keep getting better.”

20. The Stonewaller
“It seems that you are having difficulty sharing your views on this. I’m sure in
time we will be able to find a way to share perspectives openly. Until then,
know that I am all ears for your input!”

21. The Complainer
 “I see that you’re upset about that. Let’s go talk to (someone who can do
something about it or the person being complained about) so we can get
this cleared up.”
 “Oh, you don’t want to talk to them directly? Oh, well I can do so for you.
I’ll tell them how upset you are by this.”
 “Oh, you don’t want me to talk to them either? Hmmm… I wonder why
you’re talking to me about it then since I can clearly not change anything
about it.”

22. The Yes Person (super compliant)
“Are you sure this is something you should take on? Let’s break down the task
and take a look at your schedule first to see how this fits in.”

23. The Tank (rolls over people, super
controlling)
“I really enjoy collaboration. You have such great ideas! I wonder if I can
offer another approach here for us to consider?”

24. The Whiner
“This can’t be easy for you. I know you are always under a lot of stress. I feel
for you.”

25. Receptive Skills for Dealing with Difficult
People
LEAP MODEL
Listen deeply, not
taking the difficulty
personally
Empathy
Asking their ideas of
what they might be
able to do
Problem Solving: Ask
if they want your
ideas or if they want
to collaborate

26. Expressive Skills for Dealing with Difficult
People
MOI MODEL
Measured language
(maybe, sometimes,
it seems to me)
Observe, don’t
judge
“I” not “you”

27. Attitudinal Skills for Dealing with Difficult
People
GPS MODEL
Graceful: Remain
Calm
Positive and
Patient
Surrender being
right (I would rather
be peaceful than
right)

28. Conclusion
There are no difficult people in your life – there are only skills that you have
not yet mastered.
Be grateful for the lessons and growth that come your way each day via
those who challenge you to grow your skills, strengths and loving kindness.

29. www.JackieWoodside.com