1. Skills for Counselling
By
Jayadeva de Silva.M.Sc, FIPM, FITD
Counselling requires a set of skills which focuses mostly on feelings
Feelings can block rational decision making and personal growth
Feelings are generated by incidents at work or at home as far as the
client is concerned. Feelings may dissipate energy
Counselling Interview
Stages of a Counselling Interview are as follows:
Establish Rapport
Explore
Integration
Identifying alternatives
Direction towards a solution
Agree on an action plan
End or Closure
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2. Establishing rapport
Attending skills are required to establish rapport with the counselee
(the client)
Attending means both
Physically and
Mentally
Exploration
Probing skills are needed to explore the issues with the client
Probing is done by
Asking open ended questions
Ask questions as a non expert
Active Listening Skills
Active Listening Skill is the Heart of Empathic Understanding
Active Listening involves
Empathetic listening (Listening with empathy)
Contextual Listening (Listening with reference to the
particular context)
Restating or paraphrasing
Paraphrasing is not mere “parroting”
Purpose of paraphrasing is to show you are both listening and
understanding what is being said.
It helps the speaker see other points of view.
How paraphrasing is done
Restate basic ideas and facts.
Example
“So you would like your friends to include you at recess, is that
right?”
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3. Encouraging
Purpose is to convey interest. This encourages the other person to
keep talking.
How it is done
Don’t agree or disagree.
Use neutral words.
Use varying voice intonations.
Example
“Can you tell me more…?”
Reflecting
Purpose of reflecting is to show that you understand how the person
feels.
How it is done
Reflects the speaker’s basic feelings.
Example:
“You seem very upset.”
Acknowledge non verbal messages
Validating
Purpose of validating is to acknowledge the worthiness of the other
person.
How validating is done
Acknowledge the value of their issues and feelings.
Show appreciation for their efforts and actions.
Example
“I truly appreciate your willingness to resolve this matter.”
Clarifying
Purpose of clarifying is to help you clarify what is said.
It helps you to get more information and it helps the speaker to see
other points of view.
How it is done
Ask questions.
Restate wrong interpretation to force the speaker to explain
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4. further.
Example
“When did this happen?”
“Do I have this right? You think he told you to give him the pencil
because he doesn’t like you?”
Periodic Summarizing
Counsellor should be able summarize what had been done
periodically.
Purpose of summarizing is to
To review progress.
To pull together important ideas and facts.
To establish a basis for further discussion.
To move the counselling interview towards finding a solution
How this is done
Restate major ideas expressed, including feelings.
Example
“These seem to be the key ideas you’ve expressed…”
Generating alternatives, Analyzing and helping to
Choose the most appropriate one for him
During this stage counselee is encouraged to generate alternatives for
a solution
How it is done
This is more like a brain storming session
After that, these alternatives should be analyzed for feasibility
Client is encouraged to choose his best alternative
Action plan is then worked out by the client with the help of the
Counsellor
Sensitively confront
Counsellor should sensitively confront the client if he is showing
signs of hesitation or withholding relevant information
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5. If necessary explore alternative solutions allow client to select the
best solution and agree on a realistic action plan
Case Recording
Counsellor should be able to take brief notes whilst the interview in
progress
It helps to remember what took place at the interview when clients
come for the next session
Client should be told that notes are being taken and for what purpose
Jayadeva de Silva obtained Master’s degree in Science from Russian Friendship University Moscow and Diploma in
Personnel Management from National Institute of Business Management( SriLanka). He is a fellow of both the Institute
of Personnel Management IPM) and Institute of Training & development.(SLITAD) He is also professionally qualified in
training systems & curriculum design with an ILO fellowship.
A strong advocate of Human Talents Development, Jayadeva is the Principal Consultant/Director of Humantalents
Unlimited, a professional practice that provides training & consultancy in Management. Jayadeva has carried out
several consultancy projects and conducted numerous management development programs/strategic planning
workshops, and has been trained in many modern management and leadership concepts. He has contributed articles
(over 50) and authored the trend setting book ‘Human Talents Management’.
He founded humantalents International and HRSriLanka virtual learning Groups. Jayadeva de Silva functioned as
Group Manager (Human Resources Development) of Hayleys Group of Companies and Group Director–Human
Resources of Brown & Co.
He serves as a resource person for professional and post graduate courses primarily in the areas of HRM & HRD at
Post graduate Institute- University of Peradeniya, University of Ruhuna, ICFAI University (India), University of Ballarat
(Australia) SriLanka Foundation Institute IPM & SLITAD.
He is a past president of HRDGateway, an International organization of over 45,000 HR Professionals worldwide. He is
featured in the millennium registry of SriLankan personalities
He can be contacted as follows
E mail djayadeva@gmail.com
011 2562449
077 7272295
Web humantalents@yahoogroups.com
Some of his publications are available for fee download from www.slideshare.net/Jayadeva
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