This is the presentation deck from UX Conference session by Ben Bowes of Pivotal Labs Singapore as a part of UXSEA Summit 2018 in Singapore. UXSEA Summit 2018 was held from 18th to 20th November, 2018. For more information about UXSEA Society, visit https://uxsea.org/ The copyright of this material is with those who created this presentation material. Please take permissions from the authors if you are in doubt about copyright infringement.

2. Hello, my name is Ben Bowes
and I’m a Product Design Manager
at Pivotal Labs Singapore.
@bowesdesign
http://bowes.design
https://www.linkedin.com/in/bowesdesign/
https://pivotal.io/

6. Communication
Emotional Intelligence
Creativity
Critical Thinking
Collaboration
Empathy
Listening

7. WE SUCK AT
LISTENING!

8. Yo n e
li n!

9. 4-7-8 Breathing

10. How are you feeling?

11. Think of three people in
your life that you consider
to be good listeners.

12. I wa t a
UX es r en
I g o p.

13. Listening builds
trust and rapport.

14. Listening shows that you
care and invites others to
open up.

15. Listening broadens our
own perspective.

16. You can’t have empathy
without listening.

17. When you listen to
someone, they’ll be more
willing to listen to you.

18. God gave you two ears and
only one mouth for a reason!

19. © Copyright 2018 Pivotal Software, Inc. All rights Reserved.
We spend about 70% - 80% of our waking hours
in some form of communication.
Source: https://virtualspeech.com/blog/active-listening-skills-examples-and-exercises

20. Bec e ’re
mi b e c
f e h n.

21. We assume
that listening
is a natural,
passive skill,
it’s not.

22. We have AWESOME BRAINS!

23. We have a finite amount
of brain power.
(also known as Executive Function)

24. We have
emotional filters.

25. We have cell phones.

26. Other Bad Listening Habits
● Mind Reading - making assumptions about what the other person thinks or feels.
● Rehearsing - rather than listening to another’s point of view, you start forming your argument.
● Filtering - zoning in on the point that reinforce your argument.
● Calling The Subject Dull - excusing your mind to wander because you deem the subject dull.
● Judging - finding faults with the way the speaker looks, acts, and talks or pre-labeling them.
● Advising - offering a solution prevents you from gathering more information.
● Tolerating Distractions - create disturbances that interfere with listening like squirming, talking
to neighbors, texting, shuffling papers.
● Daydreaming - letting your mind drift off during lengthy conversations.
● Debating - investing in interrupting, arguing, and disputing.
● Derailing - changing the subject to something you want to focus on or avoiding a tough topic.

27. Com h e
yo t o s .

28. In order to listen
to someone else,
we need to listen
to ourselves.

29. Optimize your listening
environment.

30. Put that excess brain
power to work!

31. Practice
reflective
listening.

32. My first week has been really crazy! There is so much going
on and I’m worried that I’m not getting up to speed fast
enough. Half the time when I’m in meetings I have no idea
what’s going on, there are so many acronyms!
Sounds like there has been a lot to take in.
Yeah, and then I felt really embarrassed when I didn’t know...

33. Benefits of Reflective Listening
● Knowing that you will need to repeat, you will listen more intently.
● It helps the speaker hear himself or herself.
● It lets the speaker know that you are really listening.
● It encourages the speaker to elaborate and expand.
● It allows the speaker to correct any misconception before going on.
● It demonstrates empathy and acceptance.
● It slows down the dialogue.

34. This has been one of the worst weeks ever. I accidentally left
the door open and my dog got out. She ran straight into the
road and was hit by a car. I rushed her to the vet but it was too
late, she died.
Sounds like your dog died.
……....

35. Practice
interpretive
listening.

36. When Mike missed the deadline again I couldn’t help myself, I
snapped! I started yelling at him even though I knew it wasn’t
all his fault. I probably shouldn’t have done that.
It seems like you were stressed and frustrated about the
deadline and now that it’s over, I sense some remorse.
Yeah (reflecting on these feelings). I’ve been meaning to...

37. Benefits of Interpretive Listening
● It helps the speaker identify feelings by putting them into words.
● You are saying that it is OK to have and express feelings.
● It gives you a chance to check perceptions and allows for corrections.
● It builds trust and rapport.
● It moves the level of communication beyond the surface.

38. If we want to be good
listeners, we need to ask
good questions.

39. It was last week...
How are you going to ask the big
question?
Open-ended (who, what, when, where,
and how questions that can’t be
answered with a simple yes or no)
Well timed (sometimes this means
waiting for a pause in conversation or
allowing silence for a period of time, but
not for too long.)
I’ll definitely be there! When is the
wedding again?
Why would you get invited to the
wedding?
Phrased well (it can take careful and
deliberate thought to formulate a good
question)
Why do you think they didn’t invite
you to the wedding?

40. Are you married?Close-ended (yes or no questions)
Rapid-fire questions (or multiple
questions in one)
What are you doing for the
honeymoon? Are you going to Bali?
Isn’t the food in Bali wonderful? Why
don’t you go to Bali?
Aren’t summer weddings the best?
Questions containing the answer (why
did you ask in the first place?)
Why would you get invited to the
wedding?
Be careful with ‘Why’ (why questions can
put people on the defensive)

41. “When you talk, you are only
repeating what you already know.
But if you listen, you may learn
something new.”
Dalai Lama

42. Whe u c
li n I on r d
an l e. Dam
me g!

43. Tell Me More, On The Fine Art
Of Listening
An essay by journalist, Brenda Ueland

44. Sources
● https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/plateau-effect-digital-gadget-distraction-attention/
● https://extension2.missouri.edu/cm150
● https://hbr.org/1957/09/listening-to-people
● https://studyskills.org/10-bad-listening-habits/
● https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/tough-choices-how-making/
● https://www.inc.com/amy-morin/9-bad-habits-that-prevent-you-from-being-a-good-listener.html
● http://physics.uwyo.edu/~ddale/research/REU/2016/Tell_Me_More.pdf
● https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=saXfavo1OQo
● https://www.fastcompany.com/40569876/these-are-the-uniquely-human-skills-that-employers-say-robots-cant-do
● https://www.forbes.com/sites/mohanbirsawhney/2018/03/10/as-robots-threaten-more-jobs-human-skills-will-save-us/#798f0a083fce
● https://www.pwc.nl/nl/assets/documents/pwc-human-value-in-the-digital-age.pdf
● https://www.huffingtonpost.ca/2018/03/26/automation-human-skills_a_23395371/
● https://www.rbc.com/dms/enterprise/futurelaunch/_assets-custom/pdf/RBC-Future-Skills-Report-FINAL-Singles.pdf
● https://www.weforum.org/agenda/2018/07/the-skills-needed-to-survive-the-robot-invasion-of-the-workplace
● https://qz.com/1054034/automation-may-take-our-jobs-but-itll-restore-our-humanity/
● https://www.forbes.com/sites/cognitiveworld/2018/10/22/what-if-ai-can-make-us-more-human-in-the-age-of-robotic-automation/#4603672018ac
● https://www.trainingzone.co.uk/develop/cpd/trainers-tips-active-listening-exercises
● https://virtualspeech.com/blog/active-listening-skills-examples-and-exercises
● https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/how_smartphones_are_killing_conversation
● https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/how_smartphones_are_killing_conversation
● https://www.maxwell.syr.edu/uploadedFiles/parcc/cmc/Reflective%20Listening%20NK.pdf
● http://speakstrong.com/faqs/65-how-to/new-communication-dynamics-that-transform/966-top-dos-and-don-ts-to-promote-understanding