Change Your Questions Book Exploration by Laurie Hawkins

1. Change Your Questions
Change Your Life
Book Exploration
by Laurie Hawkins

2. This is an illustration of the choices that we make throughout our day. It depicts the
fact that there are two distinct routes: the learner path or the judger path.
One starts down the learner path with neutral questions that generally you
towards thoughtful, solution-focused choices. They tend to help build and
solidify relationships. They lead to the beautiful zone of discovery.
Judger questions, by contrast, tend to be more automatic and unconscious even.
They are reactionary focused and can take you directly to a deep, dark pit. This is
described as the judger pit on the choice map. Once entrenched there, the
questions continue down a tormenting path.
CHANGE YOUR QUESTIONS, CHANGE YOUR LIFE
by Marilee Adams
The questions we ask can lead us
down paths of discovery and
delight, or down corridors of doom
and gloom. Which road are you
taking?
The Choice Map

3. Reactive and automatic
Judgmental
Know-it-already
Inflexible and "fixed" (close-minded)
Blame
Personal perspective only
Either/or thinking
Self-righteous
Doesn't notice or defends assumptions
Assumes scarcity
Possibilities seen as limited
Primary mood: closed and protective
Responsive and thoughtful
Accepting
Values not-knowing
Flexible and adaptive (open-minded)
Responsibility
Considers others' perspectives
Both/and thinking
Inquisitive
Looks for and questions assumptions
Assumes sufficiency
Possibilities seen as unlimited
Primary mood: open and curious
Judger Mindset Learner Mindset
*We all have both mindsets. We also have the capacity to choose were we operate from in any moment.

4. → Win-lose relating
→ Dismissive and criticizing
→ Debate (to win)
→ Separate from others/self
→ Fears differences
→ Feedback considered rejection
→ Listens for:
⤷ Right/wrong
⤷ Agree/disagree
⤷ Differences
→ Seeks to attack or defend (defensive)
→ Win-win relating
→ Discering and critiquing
→ Dialogue (to understand and create)
→ Connected with self/others
→ Values differences
→ Feedback considered worthwhile
→ Listens for:
⤷ Facts
⤷ Understanding
⤷ Commonalities
→ Seeks to understand, resolve, and
create
Judger Relating.... Learner Relating....
*We all relate from both mindsets. We also have the capacity to choose which to relate with in any moment.

5. What works (about me/others)?
What am I responsible for?
What can I learn?
What's useful/valuable?
What is the other person thinking, feeling,
and wanting?
What am I assuming? What are the facts?
What's the big picture?
What's the best first step?
What's possible?
What's wrong (with me/others)?
Whose fault is it?
How can I prove I'm right?
Why is that person so stupid and frustrating?
Haven't we already been there, done that?
How will this make things worse?
How can I be in control?
Why bother?
Judger Questions Learner Questions
*We all ask ourselves both kinds of questions. We also have the capacity to choose, at any moment, which questions will frame our
thinking, listening, behaving, and relating.
The key to navigating yourself onto the learner path lies in identifying your own judger triggers, noticing
when you have inadvertently embarked on a judging journey and then grabbing the first off-ramp you
can find. On the choice map, this opportunity is referred to as the switching lane. You have access to
this lane any time by asking a switching question.

6. Switcher questions are really learner questions that are capable of diverting a full-throttle
judger voyage. Switching skills can be enormously helpful in navigating conflicts, rescuing
failing projects and teams, transforming negative self-talk and so many more judger pit
challenges.
Switching Questions
Am I in Judger mode right now?
Where would I rather be?
How can I get there?
What are the facts?
How else can I think about this?
What assumptions am I making?
Is this what I want to feel?