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Emotional Intelligence: Help Relieve the Pain

  1. WHO ME?? I’m not shouting!!! An Intro to Emotional Intelligence By Leon Steyn
  2. To empower you, to take ownership of your own life, and your relationships, for greater positive influence. The Objective
  3. Contents 1. An introduction to Emotional Intelligence (EI) 2. Becoming self-aware 3. Practicing self-control 4. Becoming self-motivated 5. Building positive relationships 6. Developing personal influence
  4.  What is Emotional Intelligence  How will I benefit from developing my Emotional Intelligence?  Why should I change?  How do I change? 1. An Introduction to EI
  5. The ability to perceive, recognize, understand and suitably react to your emotions (feelings) and those of others. What is EI?
  6. 1. Self-awareness 2. Self-control 3. Self-motivation 4. Building positive relationships 5. Personal influence The five competencies of EI
  7. Activity 1
  8.  A better understanding of yourself & what drives you  Balance between expressing and controlling your feeling  A better understanding of others and what drives them  Improved relationships with others How will I benefit from improving?
  9.  Improved assertiveness, based on ownership  Ability to leave the emotional baggage behind  Ability to formulate meaning and purpose  You will be equipped to build a network of influential relationships How will I benefit from improving? cont
  10. “If you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you’ve always got. So if you want something different, do something different” - Anonymous Why should I change/improve?
  11.  Become self-aware and aware of others  Realize the impact of your present behavior on yourself and others  Commit to change  Start “catching yourself in the act”  Choose new behaviors continuously How do I change?
  12.  The ability to perceive, recognize, understand and suitably re-act to your emotions/feelings and the emotions/feelings of others  Lots of benefits  If you want different results, you need to start doing things differently  It starts with becoming self-aware Summary of Introduction
  13.  Complete the Emotional awareness questionnaire  What are emotions and where do they come from?  What happens when we suppress emotions?  Why are emotions important?  How do we identify emotions?  What are you feeling? 2. Becoming self-aware
  14. Complete activity 2 in your workbook. Activity 2
  15. You should now know if you:  Can recognize different feelings in yourself and others and their intensity or not  You can control (NOT SUPPRESS) your emotions or not The Questionnaire
  16.  Physical re-action to our thoughts  Triggered by experiences  We perceive through our senses - sight, hearing, smell, touch  It is expressed/ communicated through our behavior  Feelings What are emotions?
  17. Suppressed = not perceived, recognized, understood and therefore not dealt with appropriately  Physical illness or symptoms  Compulsive behavior  Aggressive or submissive  Blame What happens when we suppress?
  18.  They tell us to pay attention to something important!  Tell us something is not right/ about unmet needs  They affect our “fight-or flight” mechanism  They motivate you to ask questions and act in order to change things  They are contagious and impact on others Why are emotions important?
  19. Complete activity 3 in your workbook. Activity
  20.  Check your body language  Check your re-action to music  Check you re-action to art  Check the roles you portrait  Keep a journal Identifying emotions
  21. Complete activity 4 in your workbook. Activity
  22. Complete activity 5 in your workbook. Activity
  23. Complete activity 6 in your workbook. Activity
  24. Complete activity 7 in your workbook. Activity
  25.  Transfer of “old feelings” to new situations is possible  Different feelings can happen at the same time  Some emotions belong together  Emotions can intensify  There are primary and secondary emotions  The origin can be traced Points of interest
  26. Emotions are:  Internal physical re-action to our thoughts  Triggered by an experience Being emotionally aware means:  Understanding our emotions + appropriate self-expression  Emotions tells us of our unmet needs  We must practice identifying our emotions Summary of self-awareness
  27. Summary on self-awareness (2)
  28.  What is self-control?  Understanding the things that shaped our thoughts  The importance of our thoughts  The importance of diet for emotional control 3. Practicing self-control
  29.  “Catching yourself in the act”  Becoming aware of your “internal cues” and choosing an appropriate response  Knowing the thoughts behind the emotions and challenging it!  Taking ownership for your emotions, needs, thoughts, actions! What is self-control?
  30. Complete the reflection exercise in your workbook. Reflection
  31.  Circumstances, events & people have shaped our perceptions of ourselves and what we think is possible in our life, how we express ourselves and overcome obstacles – our Emotional Intelligence  BUT you can change your perceptions! The things that shape us
  32. Complete the reflection exercise in your workbook. Reflection
  34.  Interpretations  Values  Assumptions  Thought patterns  It is what we do with the information we receive! Our thoughts are a combination of…
  35.  How we choose to filter info  It is not necessarily the truth  3 Common filters: 1. Alienation 2. Distortion 3. Generalization Interpretations
  36. Complete the reflection exercise in your workbook. Reflection
  37.  What we strive for/ think is important  3 Different types of values: 1. Getting 2. Giving 3. Being Values
  38. Complete activity 8 in your workbook. Activity
  39.  Preconceptions and Prejudices  “Our truth”  It might not be the truth or rational  Convictions learnt from early childhood and onwards. Assumptions
  40. Complete the reflection exercise in your workbook. Reflection
  41.  Yourself  Relationships  Your needs  The world  Your rights  Mistakes  Feelings  Problems  Trust Assumptions – what YOU think about
  42.  No change without challenge!  Challenge you interpretation of info, your values and assumptions!  Change your thoughts and you will change your emotions and behavior! Change required!
  43.  Exaggeration or Minimization  “Reading other people’s thoughts”  White-or-black thinking  Ignore the positive  Labels- I am a …; You are a …  Blaming- yourself and others Other thought patterns…
  44.  Rules of behavior- expectations  Prediction of the future- in a negative way  Feelings are reality  Catastrophic thinking  Ought to  Personification Other thought patterns… cont
  45. Complete the reflection exercise in your workbook. Reflection
  46.  “Catching yourself in the act”  Becoming aware of your thoughts  Being aware of the circumstances, events and important people that shaped your thoughts  Challenging thoughts impacting negatively on your performance  If you want to behave differently, you need to start thinking differently Summary of self-control
  47.  What does a self-motivated person look like?  How do I become a self-motivated person? 4. Becoming self-motivated
  48. Complete the reflection exercise in your workbook. Reflection
  49.  Takes ownership for own needs  Has a vision and a purpose  Lives value based lives  Takes personal ownership for “getting there”  Is able to adapt  Is optimistic  Does not accept “failure” as the end of the road  Persists  Aligns thoughts and emotions to the vision and purpose. A self-motivated person…
  50. Challenge what you think about:  Your future  Your values  Your responsibility  Failure  Obstacles/ set-backs Becoming self-motivated
  51. Complete the reflection exercise in your workbook. Reflection
  52. A self-motivated person takes ownership for meeting their needs, has a vision of what they want to achieve and does not allow obstacles, set-backs or failure to stand in their way. Their values support their vision for their lives and they are able to align their thoughts, feelings and behavior to achieve that vision. They are optimist. Challenge your thoughts to become self-motivated! Summary of self motivation
  53.  Having empathy for others  Your intentions towards others  The way you carry yourself  The way you act towards others 5. Building positive relationships
  54. It’s about caring about the experiences, feelings, needs and wants of the people around us. You have to:  Pay close attention  Check for understanding Having empathy with others
  55.  Consistently demonstrate a pure intent  Give of yourself  Care for the welfare and growth of others Your intent towards others
  56.  The message you send to others, through your body language  It can attract or distance  Smile, make eye-contact, greet friendly The way you carry yourself
  57.  We are often blind to the things we do that distance us from others  Get some honest feedback from someone you trust  Act differently The way you act towards others
  58.  Learn to respect others  Get to know the people working for you  Reach out  Ask questions, listen and respond with genuine interest  Break inappropriate habits Things I can do differently
  59.  Deal with conflict in an appropriate manner  Express yourself in an assertive manner- be approachable  Build an atmosphere of trust and openness where people feel free to express themselves and their ideas  Encourage creative thinking and participation Things I can do differently cont
  60. Complete the reflection exercise in your workbook. Reflection
  61. To build positive relationships you need to:  Become empathetic (awareness of others)  Have pure intent  Carry yourself and act in a way that does not distance yourself from others Summary of positive relationships
  62. To have personal influence, you must have:  Technical mastery  Self-awareness  Self-control  Self-motivation  Positive relationships with others  The ability to convince, persuade and inspire 6. Develop personal influence
  63. It is about constantly learning and having an expanded knowledge base in the field you operate in. Knowledge can be expanded through:  Reading  Belonging to a Professional body  Attending conferences & workshops  Research Technical mastery
  64. Complete the reflection exercise in your workbook. Reflection
  65.  Understanding what drives your people  Having a vision  Understanding the value the team adds  Aligning the above into a WIN-WIN through skillful communication  On a foundation of relationship  Being contagiously enthusiastic  Neutralize negative emotions To convince, persuade and inspire
  66. Complete the reflection exercise in your workbook. Reflection
  67. Developing personal influence is about developing:  Technical mastery + Emotional Intelligence Summary develop personal influence
  68. Complete activity 9 in your workbook. Activity
  69. Applying what you’ve learnt Complete the reflection exercise in the back of your book.
  70. You have taken a nice, positive step to empowering yourself, taking ownership of your own life, and your relationships, for greater positive influence. Congratulations!!
  71. References 1. Coaching for Emotional Intelligence. Bob Wall,2007, New York. 2. Emotional Intelligence Workbook. Le Roux, de Klerk, 2001. Human and Rosseau, Cape Town 3. The Heart of a Winner. Van Jaarsveld, 2003. Lux Verbi, Wellington, South Africa

Notas del editor

  1. A very good morning everybody! Thank you for this fantastic opportunity to share this very interesting and important topic…Emotional Intelligence. Today’s session is for you and will include fun, interactive and non-embarrassing tasks which will contribute to expanding your knowledge of yourself and your emotions and how these emotions affect our daily lives. To get us going, we are going to share the one most powerful emotion we felt when we arrived in this venue this morning. While thinking about this, can we agree on a few ground rules to ensure we all get the most out of today? ASK FOR SUGGESTIONS AND WRITE ON FLIPCHART 4X MAX.