Delivery of individual practice with peer evaluation
The reading pasage presents arguments for the idea of applying the policy on raising tax on
sweetened drinks as a way to reduce the obesity in a particular country.
The consistencies were apparent through the description of the context. Logically, it was pointed out
from the high rate of sugar to the result of public health problem, which required changes in eating
and physical habits. This was the rationale for the National strategy for obesity and diabete control,
which covered the policy on raising tax on producer and importer of sweentened drinks.
However, the biases/inconsistencies started right from the begining of the argument. To begin the
story, the author immediately blamed the high rate of sugar as the reason for obesity without any
certain evidence/refences. Actually, this problem could be explained by other reasons like lack of
doing exercise, imbalance diet, food problems, etc. Especially, in the later section, it was mentioned
that there should be changes in both eating habits and physical activities. The former aspect was too
general, which included more than sweentened drinks. The latter aspect was not
developed/supported by any other details, which reduces the reliability of the information. It should
also be emphasized that the focus of the text was taxing drinks. But this idea was not fully proved to
show the effects/statistics of linkage between high tax and low obesity.
Those inconsistences/biases resulted in unconvincing conclusion because readers hardly found any
number/evidence of a particular research to prove the argument.
In short, the arguments would be more persuasive and logical if:
- At the beginning, the author discussed differenct causes of obesity.
- There was explanation to the focus on sweented drinks, in other words, why this was regarded as
the most concerning point
- Different measures to control high consumption of sweentened drinks, one of which would be high
- Some statistics about the link between high tax and low usage, leading to low obesity
By that suggestion, more rationale and logic can be seen from the text, and it can avoid
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