A humorous look at the safety professional and their resourcefulness.... at the expense of engineers or project managers, who at times, present challenges to the safety manager.

1. Safety
Manager‘s
and
Engineers
3 Real Life Stories

2. The First …

3. Eleven people were dangling below a
helicopter on a rope. There were ten
Engineers and one Safety Manager.
Since the rope was not strong enough
to hold them all, they decided that one
of them had to let go to save all the
others.

4. They could not decide who should be
the volunteer. Finally the Safety
Manager said he would let go of the
rope since Safety Manager’s are used
to doing everything for the company.
They forsake their family, don’t claim all
of their expenses and do a lot of
overtime without getting anything in
return.

5. When he finished his moving
speech all the Engineers began
to clap…

6. Moral:
Never underestimate the
powers of a Safety Manager.

7. The second …

8. A group of Safety Manager’s and a
group of Engineers take a train to a
conference. Each Engineer holds a
ticket. But the entire group of Safety
Manager’s has bought only a single
ticket. The Engineers are just shaking
their heads and are secretly pleased
that the arrogant Safety Manager’s will
finally get what they deserve.

9. Suddenly one of the Safety Manager’s
calls out: “The conductor is coming!”. At
once, all the Safety Manager’s jump up
and squeeze into one of the toilets. The
conductor checks the tickets of the
Engineers. When he notices that the
toilet is occupied he knocks on the door
and says: “Ticket, please!” One of the
Safety Manager’s slides the ticket under
the doors and the conductor continues
merrily on his round.

10. For the return trip the Engineers decide
to use the same trick. They buy only
one ticket for the entire group but they
are baffled as they realize that the
Safety Manager’s didn’t buy any tickets
at all. After a while one of the Safety
Manager’s announces again: “The
conductor is coming!” Immediately all
the Engineers race to a toilet and lock
themselves in.

11. All the Safety Manager’s leisurely walk
to the other toilet. Before the last Safety
Manager enters the toilet he knocks on
the toilet occupied by the Engineers and
says: “Ticket, please!”

12. And the moral of the story?
Engineers like to use the methods of
the Safety Manager, but they don’t
really understand them.

13. The third …

14. Once upon a time three Engineers were
walking through the woods and
suddenly they were standing in front of
a huge, wild river. But they desperately
had to get to the other side. But how,
with such a raging torrent? The first
Engineer knelt down and prayed to the
Lord: “Lord, please give me the
strength to cross this river! "

15. *pppppfffffffuuuuffffffff*
The Lord gave him long arms and
strong legs. Now he could swim across
the river. It took him about two hours
and he almost drowned several times.
BUT: he was successful!

16. The second Engineer, who observed
this, prayed to the Lord and said: “Lord,
please give me the strength AND the
necessary tools to cross this river!”

17. *pppppfffffffuuuuffffffff*
The Lord gave him a tub and he
managed to cross the river despite the
fact that the tub almost capsized a
couple of times.

18. The third Engineer who observed all this
kneeled down and prayed: “Lord,
please give me the strength, the means
and the intelligence to cross this river!”

19. *pppppfffffffuuuuffffffff*
The Lord converted the Engineer into a
Safety Manager. He took a quick
glance on the map, walked a few
metres upstream and crossed the
bridge.

20. Send this to an intelligent Safety Manager
so that they have something to smile
about;
and to the Engineers if you think they can
stomach the truth!