This document discusses guidelines for effectively expressing and dealing with emotions. It provides six guidelines: 1) recognize your emotions, 2) describe emotions appropriately, 3) share multiple emotions, 4) recognize the difference between emotions, talking, and acting, 5) accept responsibility for your emotions, and 6) consider when and where to express emotions. The document emphasizes controlling feelings and being tactful in how emotions are expressed verbally or through actions to maintain good relationships.

1. DEALING WITH
EMOTIONS

2. This incident might happened to you. You
expressed your happiness to someone but did
not receive the kind of reaction you expected, or
you display your anger to someone and the
incident ended in hostility. Showing negative
emotions such as anger or boredom can some
times get us into trouble. Even positive emotions
such as affection or happiness should be shared
wisely as the other party may not be
comfortable in sharing our feelings. Since not
everyone understands our feelings or would
want to share our emotions, we must be tactful
in expressing and dealing with our emotions. In
this topic, we will look at the ways to deal
emotions, whether positive or negative.

3. SIX GUIDELINES TO EXPRESS
OUR EMOTIONS
 RECOGNIZE THE EMOTIONS
 DESCRIBE THE EMOTIONS APPROPRIATELY
 SHARE MULTIPLE EMOTIONS
 RECOGNIZE THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN
EMOTIONS, TALKING AND ACTING
 ACCEPT RESPONSIBILITY FOR THE EMOTIONS
 CONSIDER WHEN AND WHERE TO EXPRESS
THE EMOTIONS

4. RECOGNIZE THE EMOTIONS
 We should recognize our emotions.
 Our emotions can be recognized when
physiological changes such as sweating or
trembling.
 Monitoring our thoughts and verbal messages
will help us to manage our emotions.
 For example, we should be more careful with
our words and nonverbal cues that may land
us in trouble in the process of dealing with our
emotions.
 In other words, we should control our feelings
and emotions.

5. DESCRIBE THE EMOTIONS
APPROPRIATELY
• There are various ways of describing
emotions but we should describe them in a
way that reflect the true feelings accurately.
• For example, instead of merely saying, “I am
angry at you”, we can say, “I am annoyed by
your remarks”.
• This kind of more precise statement would
enable the other person to know exactly what
and how you are feeling and why you are
feeling that way.

6. SHARE MULTIPLE EMOTIONS
We should share the different kinds of emotions
we go through at that particular time.
For instance, we may be angry with a person but
at the same time we really care for him or her too.
Verbally expressing our multiple emotions is
meaningful because it increases the accuracy and
value of our messages.
For example, saying “I am disheartened over what
you did to me but I’m sure that you didn’t really
mean what you said” would be better than just
saying “don’t talk to me right now because I’m
really mad at you”.
This kind of sharing enables the other person to
understand us better.

7. RECOGNIZE THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN
EMOTIONS, TALKING AND ACTING
• When we disagree with someone, we become
furious and talk or act irrationally.
• We may have the right to feel angry but that
doesn’t mean we should express the anger by
saying or behaving in such a way that will only
fade a good relationship with the other person.
• So, when we have negative emotions, we should
tactful in expressing the emotions either verbally
or through our actions.

8. ACCEPT RESPONSIBILTY FOR
THE EMOTIONS
►In other words, we should never blame
anyone else for our uneasy feeling.
►For example, instead of saying “you are
annoying me with your attitude” it is wiser
to say “I feel annoyed when you behave like
that”.
►This shows that we are taking responsibility
for the way we feel and not blaming the
other person.

9. CONSIDER WHEN AND WHERE
TO EXPRESS THE EMOTIONS
 When someone annoys us and our emotion boils up,
it is only sensible to hold back our emotion until we
are sure that it is the rite time and place to express it.
 In dealing with emotions, we must ensure that the
outcome of the emotions improve conditions or
allayed negative effects.
 This is because emotions can be both constructive
and destructive.
 Constructive or facilitative emotions are emotions
that help us improvise things that we feel are very
unsatisfying.

10.  For example, the fear that we
may be late for class tomorrow
will oblige us to cancel watching
the late night movie.
 In construct, destructive or
debilitative emotions are the
kind of emotions that will make a
situation gets worst.
 For example, an expressed
anger of a manager can
demoralize subordinates, which
may cause them to quit the job.

11. • According to Adler and Rosenfeld
(1999), the difference between a
constructive and destructive
emotions is their intensity.
• For example, an extreme state of
negative emotions can ruin our
rational thinking and lead to
extreme frustration of sadness
while an extreme state of positive
emotions does not have much
effect in a person as a person in a
happy mood is normally in a
stable condition.

12. • We can see here the strength
of negative emotions is greater
as its impact on a person
makes a difference compared
to the positive emotions.
• Adler and Rosenfeld add that
there are four ways to
minimize our destructive
emotions. They are by :

13. 1. Identifying and monitoring our reactions
2. Identifying and diagnosing the factor that
caused emotions.
3. Self-talk or monologue
4. Replace irritation beliefs with rational ones.