Listening

Dr. Nidhi Raj Gupta
Dr. Nidhi Raj GuptaAsst Professor en Kristu Jayanti, Bengaluru
Listening
An Ear, Not an Answer
Just Listen!
The biggest
communication
problem
100-150
words/per
minute
400-500
words per
minute
32.7% Listening
Listening Process
Mindfulness
Understanding and interpreting Understanding
Evaluating
Responding
Remembering
Physically receiving/hearing messages
Selecting and organizing material
Mindfulness
Physically Receiving/Hearing
Messages
Verbal &
Non Verbal
Message
Avoid
Distraction
Selecting and Organizing Material
Understanding & Interpreting
Understanding
Relate New
Information
Avoid Judging
Speaker
Asking
question
Rephrase in
your words
Evaluating
Resist evaluation until
you fully understand
Benefit of any doubt by
asking for clarification
Distinguish Facts from
inferences, opinion
Responding
make
while
make
after
Remembering
Listening Level
Internal Listening
Focused Listening
Global
Listening Barriers
LB: Message overload Naturally
LB: Message complexity
LB: Noise
LB: Pre-occupation
LB: Prejudgment
LB: Reacting to emotionally loaded
language
LB: Others
Unlistening Types: Pseudo Listening
listening to Pretend Missing details
Conclusions
Monopolizing
Selective/Partial Listening
Defensive/Protective Listening
Ambush Listening
Probing
Judging
Advising
Unlistening Types
Advising
JuggingProbing
AmbushDefensive
Selective
Monopolizing
Pseudo
Types of Listening
Empathetic Listening
Repeat verbatim
Rephrase content Reflect feelings
Rephrase contents and Reflect feelings
Discern
Discriminative Listening
Self-centered Listening
Word Listening
Active/Comprehension Listening
Intuitive Listening
Critical Listening
Appreciative Listening
Biased Listening
Sympathetic Listening
Rapport Listening
Therapeutic listening
Dialogic/ Relational listening
Types of Listening
Dialogic
Therapeutic
Rapport
Sympathetic
Biased
Appreciative
Critical
Intuitive
Active
Word
Self Centered
EmpatheticDiscriminative
7 habits of bad listening: Nichols and
Stevens
Calling the subject uninteresting
Criticizing the speaker &/or delivery
Getting over-stimulated
Listening only for facts
Not taking notes or outlining everything.Faking attention
Tolerating or creating distractions
10 Common Bad Habits:
Robertson
Lack of interest in subject
Focus on the person, not on the content
Focus on the detail, missing the big picture
Force-fitting their ideas into your mental models
Body language that signals disinterest
Creating or allowing distractions
Ignoring what you do not understand
Letting emotions block the subject
Daydreaming
Bad Listening Habits:
Barekr & Watson
Interrupting the speaker
Not looking at the speaker
Rushing the speaker and making him feel that he's wasting the listener's time
Showing interest in something other than the conversation.
Getting ahead of the speaker and finishing her thoughts
Not responding to the speaker's requests
Saying, "Yes, but . . .," as if the listener has made up his mind.
Topping the speaker's story with "That reminds me. . ." or "That's nothing, let me tell you about.
Forgetting what was talked about previously
Asking too many questions about details
Compare to above three slides
Lack of respect for the speaker
Stuck in own head; trapped by own thoughts
Hearing only what is superficially said; missing the real
meaning
General ignorance about social politeness
Intra – organizational Listening
5 Benefits of Listening
Relationship Improves
Accurate Information
Influence
Learn
Help
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Listening

Notas del editor

  1. Why do have two ears and one mouth? Hearing is a physiological activity that occurs when sound waves hit our eardrums. Listening is far more complex than hearing.
  2. is we do not listen to understand . We listen to reply.
  3. The normal adult rate of speech is 100-150 words per minute, but the brain can think at a rate of 400-500 words per minute, leaving extra time for daydreaming, or anticipating the speaker’s or the recipient’s next words. Women and men seem to differ somewhat in their listening. As a rule, women are more attentive than men to the whole of communication. Many men tend to focus their hearing on specific content aspects of communication whereas women generally are more likely to attend to the whole of communication, noticing details, tangents, and relationship level meanings.
  4. Listening is an active process, its means, hum din bhar kuch na kuch sunte rehte hai, but end of the day hame kitni baate yaad rehti hai? Jaise agar main aapse bolu ki , try to remember, what your parent said yesterday morning. Try to recall. word by word, can any one tell/share, accha aaj subh ki baate, just recall. Yaad hai? Kitno ko yaad hai? Raise hands. You know, hame kyo nhi yaad hai, because we hear many information rather to listen, which means we must exert effort to listen well. How?
  5. Mindfulness: The Fist step, Mindfulness is being fully present in the moment. When we listen mindfully, we tune in fully to another person and try to understand what that person is communicating, without imposing our own ideas judgments or feelings
  6. Physically receiving/hearing messages The 2nd process involved in listening is hearing, or physically receiving messages. Listening begins with receiving the messages the speaker sends. The messages are both verbal and non-verbal. In receiving try to: 1. Focus your attention on the speaker‟s verbal and non-verbal messages, on what is said and on what is not said. 2. Avoid distractions in the environment. 3. Focus your attention on the speaker rather than on what you will say next. 4. Maintain your role as listener and avoid interrupting.
  7. 3. Selecting and organizing material :We do not perceive everything around us. We selectively attend to only some messages and elements of our environments. What we attend to depends on many factors including our interests . Selective listening is also influenced by culture. We attend selectively by remembering that we are more likely to notice stimuli that are intense loud, unusual.
  8. Understanding and interpreting Understanding, the stage at which you learn what the speaker means includes the thoughts that are expressed and the emotional tone that accompanies these thoughts. In understanding, try to: 1. Relate the new information the speaker is giving to what you already know. 2. See the speaker‟s message from the speaker‟s point of view, avoid judging the message until you fully understand it as the speaker intended it. 3. Ask questions for clarifications if necessary, ask for additional details or examples if they are needed. 4. Rephrase (paraphrase) the speaker‟s ideas in your own words. To interpret someone on her or his own terms is one of the greatest gifts we can give another. Too, often we impose our meanings on others, try to correct or argue with them about what they feel or crowd out their words with our own. Good listeners stay out of others way so they can learn what others think and feel.
  9. Evaluating : consists of judging the messages in some way. Evaluate the speaker‟s underlying intentions or motives. In evaluating try to:  Resist evaluation until you fully understand the speakers point of view.  Assume that the speaker is a person of goodwill, and give the speaker the benefit of any doubt by asking for clarification on position to which you feel you might object.  Distinguish facts from inferences, opinions and personal interpretations by the speaker.  Identify any biases, self-interests, or prejudices that may lead the speaker to slant unfairly what is presented.
  10. Responding occurs in two phrases:  Responses you make while the speaker is talking.  Responses you make after the speaker has stopped talking. These responses are feedback. This information tells the speaker how you feel and what you think about his or her messages. In responding try to:  Be supportive of the speaker throughout the speaker‟s talk by using and varying your back-channeling cues. Using only one back-changeling the for example saying “uh-huh” throughout –will make it appear that you are not listening but are merely on automatic pilot.  Express support for the speaker in your final response.  Be honest.  Own your responses, state your thought and feelings as your own, and use 1-messages.
  11. Remembering :The final aspect of listening is remembering, which is the process of retaining what you have heard. Messages that you receive understand and evaluate need to be retained for atleast some period of time. We remember less than half of a message immediately after we hear it. A time goes by retention decreases. What you remember is actually not what was said but what you think (or remember was said.) memory for speech is not reproductive. Rather memory is reconstructive; In remembering, try to: a) Identify the central idea and major support advanced. b) Repeat names and key concepts to yourself or, if appropriate aloud. c) Summarize the message in a more easily retained form. d) Listen with your „eyes‟. e) Take notes
  12. Levels of listening Level 1: Internal Listening — Listening to your inner voice. Level 2: Focused Listening — Listening intently to another person. Level 3: Global Listening — Listening to others in the context of their entire surroundings.
  13. Barriers of effective listening Barriers may come from the listeners themselves when a part of their own background interferes with their perception of the speaker or of the spoken message. Barriers may also come from any of the elements in the communication process. External obstacles Being aware of these barriers can help us guard against them or compensate for the noise they create.
  14. Message overload Naturally, we feel overwhelmed by the amount of information we are supposed to understand and retain. These messages saturate our brains and we are unable to listen.
  15. Message complexity The more detailed and complicated the message, the more difficult it is to follow and retain.
  16. Find GIF Noise Try minimizing physical noise, semantic and psychological noise.
  17. Pre-occupation When we are absorbed in our own thoughts and concerns, we cannot focus on what someone else is saying. When we are preoccupied with out own thoughts, we are not fully present for others. We are not being mindful. When our thoughts wonder occasionally, we should note that our focus has wondered and actively call our minds back to the person who is speaking and the meaning of his or her message.
  18. Prejudgment Sometimes we think we already know what is going to be said, so we do not listen carefully. At other times, we decide in advance that others have nothing to offer to us, so we tune them out. When we prejudge others communication, we sacrifice learning new perspectives that might enlarge our thinking. When we prejudge, we disconfirm others because we deny them their own voices Instead of listening openly to others we force their words into our own preconceived mind-set. This devalues them. prejudgment also reduces what we learn in communication with others.
  19. Reacting to emotionally loaded language These are words that evoke responses, positive or negative. Certain words may summon up negative feeling and images to you. Words like woman, house-wives etc, resonate so negatively with economically empowered women.
  20. Others include: Boredom or lack of interest. The listeners dislike of the personality or physical appearance of the speaker. A desire to change rather than accept the speaker. A perception by the listener that the speaker lacks credibility.
  21. Forms of unlistening 1. Pseudo listening Is pretending to listen. When we pseudo-listen, we appear to be attentive, but really our minds are elsewhere. We engage in pseudo listening when we want to appear polite to avoid hurting the speaker when we are bored but we have to appear engaged, fear of the speaker. Common indicators of pseudo-listening are a) Responses that are irrelevant to the message being communicated.
  22. 2. Monopolizing Is continuously focusing communication on ourselves instead of listening to the person who is talking. Two tactics are typical of monopolizing. i) Conversational rerouting, in which a person shifts the topic back to himself or herself. Rerouting takes the conversation away form the person who is talking and focuses it on the self. ii) Interrupting to divert attention from the speaker to ourselves or to topics that interest us.
  23. 3. Selective listening Focusing only on particular parts of communication. We screen out parts of a message that do not interest us and revert our attention to topics that do interest us. Selective listening also occurs when we reject communication that makes us uneasy. Partial listening Like career opportunity seminar: where Marketing student will only focus on marketing career option, HR will listen only HR Related talk, hardly listen about Marketing…Vice Versa Responding to some stimuli while ignoring others. This makes a listener miss important facts and points that are needed for clarity and understanding.
  24. 4. Defensive listening :Means jo bhi kuch bole, usme se negative chije, khud k baare mein lena. Jaise ye sab mere baare mein hi bol rha hai. Protective listening level Listeners may not listen to a speaker because they have learnt to tune out certain kinds of stimuli. As a listener, you will sometimes hear negative and even hostile expressions aimed directly at you. You have to control protective listening so verbal attacks are perceived without you having to defend or retaliate. Is perceiving personal attacks, criticism or hostility in communication that is not critical or mean-spirited. When we listen defensively, we assume others do not like, trust or respect us, and we read these motives into whatever they say, no matter how innocent their communication may be. Some people are generally defensive expecting criticism from all quarters. They perceive negative judgement in almost anything said to them. Defensive listening is confined to specific topics or vulnerable times when we judge ourselves to be inadequate. Defensive listening can deprive us of information and insights that might be valuable even if not pleasant. In addition, responding defensively to honest feedback may discourage others from being honest with us.
  25. 5. Ambushing It is listening carefully for the purpose of attacking a speaker. Ambushing involves very careful listening but is not motivated by a genuine desire to understand another. Instead ambushers listen to gather ammunition they can use to attack a speaker. Not surprisingly, people who engage in ambushing tend to arouse defensiveness in others.
  26. Probing - When you are talking and they ask you questions that you aren't ready for yet Press/ media ask question for some crime solution/ political connection
  27. Judging - When you feel someone is judging you instead of listening to you.  When a boy goes to girl family specially rich, where father just judge boy, rather listening
  28. Advising - When you are talking to someone and they give you advice from their own experience instead of seeking to completely understand you
  29. According to Stephen Covey in “The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People”, empathetic listening involves five basic tasks: The one who listens does the most work, not the one who speaks. Stephen R. Covey A mother checks milk warmness first on hand then give bottle to baby. 1. Repeat verbatim( word by word/ exactly) the content of the communication; the words, not the feelings 2. Rephrase content; summarize the meaning of the words in your own words 3. Reflect feelings; look more deeply and begin to capture feelings in your own words. Look beyond words for body language and tone to indicate feelings. 4. Rephrase contents and reflect feelings; express both their words and feelings in your own words. 5. Discern ( Separate/ distinguish) when empathy is not necessary – or appropriate.
  30. It involves identifying the difference between various sounds, as well differentiate between familiar and unfamiliar language is first developed at a very early age – perhaps even before birth, in the womb.  This is the most basic form of listening and does not involve the understanding of the meaning of words or phrases but merely the different sounds that are produced.  In early childhood, for example, a distinction is made between the sounds of the voices of the parents – the voice of the father sounds different to that of the mother. Discriminative listening develops through childhood and into adulthood. Read more at: https://www.skillsyouneed.com/ips/listening-types.html
  31. Self-centered Listening - When you are talking to someone and they only see what you are saying from their point of view.  Preferential listening level Listening that is directly affected by a person‟s beliefs, interests or emotions. Listening for what you want to hear. Personal background experiences habits and family tradition will many times change or distort the speaker‟s intended meaning into what the listener really wants to hear.
  32. Word Listening - When you were talking to someone and they were only listening to your words, not the emotional composition behind them. 
  33. Understanding meaning of message and non verbal communication also. Word by word understanding Active level It is a process of sending back to the speaker what you as a listener think the speaker meant-both in content and feeling. Characteristics of active Listeners  Active listeners are willing to give the speaker a chance to develop his or her ideas.
  34. Full Concentration, without hearing other thoughts, which comes simultaneously in our mind.
  35. Critical listening is a form of listening that if usually not mentioned, since it involves analysis, critical thinking and judgment. Making judgments during listening is often considered as a barrier to understand a person, and there's a lot of truth in that.
  36. Appreciative listening is listening for enjoyment.  A good example is listening to music, especially as a way t
  37. Biased listening happens when the person hears only what they want to hear, typically misinterpreting what the other person says based on the stereotypes and other biases that they have. Such biased listening is often very evaluative in nature.
  38. Sympathetic listening. Listening with concern for the well-being of the other person
  39. Rapport Listening When trying to build rapport with others we can engage in a type of listening that encourages the other person to trust and like us. A salesman, for example, may make an effort to listen carefully to what you are saying as a way to promote trust and potentially make a sale.  This type of listening is common in situations of negotiation. (See: Building Rapport and Negotiation Skills for more information).
  40. Therapeutic listening In therapeutic listening, the listener has a purpose of not only empathizing with the speaker but also to use this deep connection in order to help the speaker understand, change or develop in some way. This not only happens when you go to see a therapist but also in many social situations, where friends and family seek to both diagnose problems from listening and also to help the speaker cure themselves, perhaps by some cathartic process. This also happens in work situations, where managers, HR people, trainers and coaches seek to help employees learn and develop.
  41. Dialogic listening The word 'dialogue' stems from the Greek words 'dia', meaning 'through' and 'logos' meaning 'words'. Thus dialogic listening mean learning through conversation and an engaged interchange of ideas and information in which we actively seek to learn more about the person and how they think. Dialogic listening is sometimes known as 'relational listening'.
  42. Nichols and Stevens (1957) offer the following list as poor listening habits. Calling the subject uninteresting. Criticizing the speaker &/or delivery. Getting over-stimulated. Listening only for facts (bottom line) Not taking notes or outlining everything. Faking attention. Tolerating or creating distractions.
  43. Robertson (1994) describes the following list as the ten most common bad listening habits. Lack of interest in the subject Focus on the person, not on the content Interrupting Focus on the detail, missing the big picture Force-fitting their ideas into your mental models Body language that signals disinterest Creating or allowing distractions Ignoring what you do not understand Letting emotions block the subject Daydreaming
  44. Barker and Watson (2000) suggest the following as irritating listening habits: Interrupting the speaker. Not looking at the speaker. Rushing the speaker and making him feel that he's wasting the listener's time. Showing interest in something other than the conversation. Getting ahead of the speaker and finishing her thoughts. Not responding to the speaker's requests. Saying, "Yes, but . . .," as if the listener has made up his mind. Topping the speaker's story with "That reminds me. . ." or "That's nothing, let me tell you about. . ." Forgetting what was talked about previously. Asking too many questions about details.
  45. Key issues It is interesting to note the overlaps and differences in the above lists. Key underlying aspects about these include: Lack of respect for the speaker Stuck in own head; trapped by own thoughts Hearing only what is superficially said; missing the real meaning General ignorance about social politeness
  46. Intra-organizational communication is mostly interpersonal. Synchronous interruptive communication is recognized as a primary source of inefficiency and error in healthcare, and there is much potential for information and communicationtechnology (ICT) to improve such communication