Nearly one in 25 American adults has serious mental illness, which means odds are someone in your life is coping with anxiety, depression, OCD, bipolar disorder or another debilitating condition. Still, shame about mental illness — likely a holdover from when people wrongly believed such conditions were character aws or a mother’s fault — can make it hard to seek help or even know what to say to those who struggle. To shine a light on the daily realities of mental illness, Good Housekeeping and the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) surveyed more than 4,000 people, and found that over a third had a close friend or relative with mental illness. In our special package on how to support loved ones with mental illness, women who live with these widely misunderstood psychological issues share what it feels like, and how you can make a difference

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How to Help Someone Struggling With Anxiety
Something as common as misplacing a wallet, keys, or phone can lead to panic.
BY ZEE KRSTIC Apr 23, 2020
GOOD HOUSEKEEPING / GETTY IMAGES

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Nearly one in 25 American adults has serious mental illness, which means odds are someone in
your life is coping with anxiety, depression, OCD, bipolar disorder or another debilitating
condition. Still, shame about mental illness — likely a holdover from when people wrongly
believed such conditions were character aws or a mother’s fault — can make it hard to seek help
or even know what to say to those who struggle. To shine a light on the daily realities of mental
illness, Good Housekeeping and the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) surveyed more
than 4,000 people, and found that over a third had a close friend or relative with mental illness.
In our special package on how to support loved ones with mental illness, women who live with
these widely misunderstood psychological issues share what it feels like, and how you can make a
difference.
e all sometimes feel anxiety — a sense of unease or worry about something
uncertain in the future — which is a good thing: A bit of performance anxiety,
for example, which can manifest as apprehension or even dread, might motivate
you to hunker down and prepare for a test or a speech. But for those with anxiety disorders,
these intense feelings rarely dissipate, and sufferers tend to feel ramped up anxiety more of
the time and in more aspects of their everyday life.
"When anxiety becomes a big problem is when it starts to interfere with the relationships in
your life, your job, or your routine at large," says Judy Ho, Ph.D., a California-based clinical
psychologist and an associate professor within Pepperdine University's Graduate School of
Education and Psychology. "If the person feels greatly distressed on a daily basis, or if they're
very concerned by their own reactions to the stresses around them when they occur," that's a
sign that the their anxiety may rise to the level of a diagnosable disorder, Ho explains.
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78% of people surveyed said they or someone they know
have symptoms of anxiety.
For Emily, a 39-year-old living in Arcadia, CA, anxiety over things most people take in stride
can quickly upend her entire day. She is full of self-doubt, second guessing her choices, which
results in inaction. "Will things turn out well or not? It's almost feels like being stuck in a
paralysis," she says.

3. Anxiety can manifest itself in many ways. Since generalized anxiety disorder (GAD), which
often encapsulates symptoms like indecisiveness or intense feelings of restlessness, is the
single-most prevalent mental health issue in the United States, there's a good chance someone
in your family or in your social circle is dealing with it. According to the National Alliance on
Mental Illness, more than 40 million adults — almost 20% of those living in the United States
— are experiencing some form of an anxiety disorder right now.
While the term anxiety or anxious is often thrown around in casual conversation, it can look
very different for each individual, says Diana Samuel, M.D., an assistant professor of clinical
psychiatry at the Columbia University Irving Medical Center. "Anxiety is a state of persistent
and excessive worry and fear that interferes with one's life, but sometimes, anxiety can
manifest as physical symptoms," she explains. The most common physical symptoms of anxiety
include chronic stomach aches or abdominal pains, chest tightness, sweating, and shortness of
breath or difficulty breathing, she says. Some people have severe symptoms, says Dr. Samuel,
hyperventilating multiple times a week or even daily. While anxiety and panic are not the
same thing, panic disorder is a kind of anxiety disorder, and it is possible have both
experiences at one time. (Read more about the differences between an anxiety attack versus a
panic attack.)
The psychological ramications of anxiety can be even harder to tolerate. A person with an
anxiety disorder might sometimes be unable to do basic daily activities or think clearly at any
given time. This, of course, can interfere with work and relationships. And while generalized
anxiety disorder is the most common anxiety disorder, others include social anxiety disorder
(an irrational fear of dealing with other people or perhaps being humiliated in front of them)
and phobias, being terried by specic situations or objects to the point where the fear
prevents you from living a normal life, says Dr. Samuel.
Hannah, a 35-year-old mother in Dallas who has had anxiety since the fourth grade, says her
GAD brings on both physical and mental pain. "In the last month, I’ve had a lot of anxiety, and
it shows on my body — I had a back spasm a couple of days ago," she says, adding that
acknowledging that she's feeling anxiety and taking breaks instead of just powering through
really helps. "I think the best way to describe my brand of anxiety is feeling as if the world is
moving really fast around you, you want to join in, but you feel paralyzed because the anxiety
is too much. GAD is like taking that one moment where you feel anxious and multiplying that
into every day, 22 hours per day. That’s what this feels like."

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If everyday stresses add to her anxiety, pretty much anything that's out of her control can
iname it even more. Things that would worry anyone feel paralyzing to Hannah, such as the
mass shooting at an El Paso Walmart in 2019. "After the El Paso shooting, my mom and I were
in the garden section in Walmart. There was only another family there, but I had to leave. I
felt really uncomfortable." She also feels anxiety anticipating how she may be treated by
strangers. "My mom is from Colombia and I have dark Colombian skin. Growing up, I was
bullied for it," she says.
But it doesn't take a major news event or a past trauma like being bullied to trigger anxiety in
someone with GAD. Emily's day can be upended by a simple misstep. Something as common
as misplacing her wallet, keys, or phone can lead to panic. "Anxiety is feeling like you need to
get something done but not knowing what to do," she says.
herapy works on several levels. For one, it can help people with anxiety develop
moment-to-moment coping skills based on their own triggers, such as breathing
techniques or a brief distraction in the form of music or entertainment. "I attend a
support group where I'm able to share experiences when I'm feeling in distress, and show how
I've used coping skills to help overcome these moments of distress," says Emily, which helps
her feel in control.
Therapy for anxiety disorders also employs cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), which
involves understanding what triggers your anxiety so that you can approach them differently,
Ho explains. It may also involve exposure therapy, which pushes patients to confront their
triggers with the help of their therapist, and establishing an anxiety hierarchy, which involves
classifying patients' triggers from least threatening to most threatening, which makes them
easier to manage.
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29% of people surveyed said social media can make anxiety
worse.
Along with therapy, Hannah has found medication helpful. Doctors may suggest a long-term
medication to manage their condition, often selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (often
referred to as SSRIs), Dr. Samuel says. Benzodiazepines (such as Ativan) provide short-term
relief by slowing down the nervous system, but are not usually prescribed for long term use
because they may be habit forming.