This document provides a presentation on improving first impressions and conversations. Some of the key points covered include:
- Research shows that the ability to converse is a better indicator of success than grades.
- Listening skills are seen as more important than other talents by executives.
- People tend to like and feel comfortable with others who are similar to themselves.
- Nonverbal communication like body language and tone of voice make a strong first impression.
- Establishing rapport through techniques like matching body language and asking open-ended questions can help conversations flow more smoothly.
- Having a positive, engaged attitude can help make a good impression.
1. A Penny for Your
Thoughts…
A Presentation on First
Impressions and Conversations
Tammy Gentry
Owner, CMD Gifts, LLC
2. Goals
Help you “stack the deck”
in your favor
Increase your awareness
and affirm what you’re
doing right
Suggest ways make an
even better impression
3. Small Talk = Big Results
Researchers at Stanford University
followed their School of Business (MBA)
graduates for 10 years after graduation
and found that the ability to
converse with others was a more
important indicator of success than any
other variable, including grade-point
average.
4. More Big Results
Listening has been noted by executives to
be more important than any other talent,
including technical competence, computer
knowledge, admin-
istrative talent, and
creativity.
6. I like you. = I am like you.
When we say “I like you” to someone,
what we really mean is “I am like you.”
People like, trust and feel comfortable
with people who are just like them.
People hire people like themselves
People date people like themselves
People are friends with people like
themselves
7. Take the Lead
Most people wait for others to make eye
contact first, to smile first, to talk first, and
to issue invitations first.
Socially successful people actively work
to bring others into their lives. They start
conversations and they issue invitations.
9. What Makes Up a First
Impression
55% body language
38% voice tone
7% words
- “Decoding of Inconsistent Communication”
Albert Mehrabian, UCLA
10. Nervous?
1. Nervousness =
excitement
2. Most people are as
eager as you to establish rapport.
3. 90% of all people are afraid to walk into
a room of people they don’t know and
mingle.
11. What Happens When You
Meet Someone
1. Meeting
2. Establishing rapport
3. Communicating
These three parts happen quickly and
tend to blend together.
It takes about 90 seconds to go from
step 1 to step 3.
17. Smile
Be the first to smile
Let your smile reflect your attitude
Say “Hi” and your name
Try to say his or her name two or three
times to help you remember it.
18. Open posture
Open your attitude and your body.
Keep your heart aimed directly at the
person you’re meeting.
19. Forward lean
Almost imperceptible but shows your
interest and openness
When possible, unbutton your jacket or
coat
20. Touch
Make contact
Shake their hand
Put your hand on their back
Place your hand on their arm
21. Eye contact
Be first with eye contact
Look directly in the other’s eyes
It’s OK to look away when you’re talking
22. Nod
Don’t nod at all = disagree, confused or
disinterested
Single nod = agreement
Repeated smaller and slower nods =
general understanding and encourage
others to elaborate
Repeated faster nods = understand,
agree and want to interrupt
23. The Handshake
Ideal: firm and respectful
1. Step forward
2. Outstretch your right hand
3. Grasp palm to palm, shake once
4. Look in their left eye
24. Body Language
Stack the Deck
In Your Favor
Point your heart at
the other person’s
heart
Open hands,
uncrossed arms
Leaning forward
Stack the Deck
Against You
Avoid eye contact
Cross your arms
Turn sideways
Fidgeting
Wimpy handshake
25. What’s Your Face Saying?
Open face – makes eye contact, gives
feedback, shows curiosity and raises
eyebrows to show interest
Closed face – frowns, purses the lips,
avoids eye contact
Coughing or sticking the tip of your
tongue out through closed lips or both
mean you disagree or don’t like what
you’re hearing
26. Don’t Fake It
“Since nonverbal behavior is regarded
as being outside of conscious control, the
nonverbal message will almost always be
the one believed when it conflicts with
verbal behavior.”
– Alan Garner, Conversationally Speaking
27. Establishing Rapport
Rapport: a feeling of comfort and
connectedness between people;
the presence of
harmony, trust
and cooperation
in relationship.
28. Result of Rapport
“I don’t know what it is about this person,
but there’s something I really like.”
29. Synchronizing
Synchronizing is a way of adapting to
others. You’re speeding up what would
happen naturally.
Synchronizing = Stacking the deck
(NLP: Neuro-Linguistic Programming)
30. Increase Common Ground
Start to synchronize with the other
person:
Attitude
Body language
Voice tone
Match or mirror
Subtle and respectful
31. Questions
Make a statement about what you have
in common – the location or a person
Ask open-ended question:
Why, How, In what way…?
Try not to ask closed-ended questions
(answers are one or two words):
Are, Do, Who, When, Where, Which, Have
you… ?
32. Penny Stones
“What person would you most like to
meet?” (pause) “Why?”
“My friends and I were just talking
about…”
Favorite place to visit
What you’d love to try
Your dream job
Favorite childhood show,
game or gift
Favorite summer memory
33. Networking Tips
Most conversations = a few minutes
Use information you’ve heard to change
topics.
Optimum mingle time = 10 minutes
Keep eye contact while the other person
is talking. You can look around the room
while you have the floor.
34. Networking Tips
Keep it to 3, initially. After 3 sentences,
change the topic if they don’t ask a
question or seem interested.
Tell a story
Don’t interrupt
Avoid 3C’s: complain, condemn, criticize
There is no such thing as failure, there is
only feedback.
35. Terms to Avoid
“That’s easy” or “That’s simple”
Tagging: “… right?”, “… don’t you think?”
Hedging: “I’m not an expert, but…”,
“I might be wrong, but…”
Tagging and hedging take away from
your credibility.
36. Review: Stack the Deck
Introductions
S.O.F.T.E.N.
Helpful attitude
Networking tips
Communicating your message
37. Bottom Line
1. Take a few of the suggestions and start
to incorporate them into your
conversations. Start with your attitude.
2. Communicate with more awareness
and more intention.
3. Remember most people wait for others
to lead. Use what you’ve learned and
take the lead.
39. References
How to Make People Like You in 90
Seconds or Less by Nicholas Boothman
Conversationally Speaking by Alan
Garner
Talk Less, Say More by Connie Dieken