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FALL
                                       2012




                   THE MAGAZINE FOR PARENTS WITH TEENS



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                                       	                 E!	


                                            PROTECTING
                                       YOUR CHILD FROM
                                         CYBERBULLYING

                                           Parents & Teens
                                           The Social
                                           Media Gap
                                                 NOMINATE
                                                YOUR TEEN




                                                   10
PUBLISHED BY




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                                             VOL. 1, ISSUE
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                                                                           TIPS FOR TEEN
                                                                          ON THE ROAD S
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                                                                      LOOK INSIDE




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Sign Up Now at TeenLife.com/mag.
Welcome to


                        The Magazine for Parents with Teens!

     t’s back-to-school time! Like most parents, I was always        Plus, if you turn to page 37, you can nominate a teen
     happy when my kids headed back to school and my            to be one of our TeenLife TeenLeaders. Two finalists will
     family could get back into a routine again. Although       be selected for their leadership and outstanding community
     my two sons are not in high school anymore, they too       service work. The prize includes a $1,000 scholarship!
     are getting back into the swing of things. My husband           We hope you enjoy our fall issue! If you are not a
and I just took one of my boys, Ben, back to college and I      member of TeenLife, sign up at TeenLife.com/mag so that
helped my other son, Eric, move into his new apartment in       you continue to receive your free digital subscription.
New York City where he started working. Trust me when I              I welcome your feedback and comments, so please reach
say, the teenage years fly by.                                  out to me. And pass our magazine along to other parents you
      Not too long ago, I was in your shoes working hard to     know with teens!
raise confident, capable young adults. That’s why our new
magazine, Life with Teens, is so important to me.
      As you turn the pages of our second issue, you’ll see                               Marie Schwartz, President & Founder,
that it is chock-full of relevant articles, personal stories,                             TeenLife Media, LLC, mschwartz@teenlife.com
and expert advice on:
      • Teaching your teen to drive                             P.S. Spread the word! Connect with TeenLife on Facebook
      • Learning how to save on college tuition                 (facebook.com/teenlife) and Twitter (@teenlifemedia). Invite
      • Monitoring your teen’s social media use                 family, friends, and coworkers to sub­ cribe to Life with Teens
                                                                                                     s
                                                                at TeenLife.com/mag.




                                                                                       International.
                                                                                           Individual.
                                                                                        Inspirational.

     British School of Boston
     Academically rigorous and internationally focused,                  Open Houses:
     featuring the International Baccalaureate Diploma.                  Wednesday, October 17, 9:30 – 11:00 a.m.
     Serving toddlers through High School students.                      Saturday, November 3, 1:00 – 3:00 p.m.
                                                                         Wednesday, December 5, 9:30 – 11:00 a.m.
     High School Merit Scholarships Available                            Tuesday, January 15, 9:30 – 11:00 a.m.
     NEW Toddler Program from 18 months
     617.522.2261
     admissionsbsb@wclschools.org • www.britishschoolofboston.org

                                                                                                             FALL 2012 LIFE WITH TEENS     1
omprehensive
                  ollege
                  ounseling
                                                                                TeenLife.com
                 Guiding students
                        to become
                            strong
                       applicants                                                      PUBLISHER
                          and find                                             Marie Schwartz, President & Founder
                         the right
                          schools.                                                       MA R K E TI N G
                                                                                     Cara Ferragamo Murray
                                                                           Vice President of Marketing & Communications
                                                                                        Camille Heidebrecht
                                                                              Director of Marketing & Managing Editor
                                                                                        Jon Blumenfeld
                                                                      Associate Manager, Social Media & Member Marketing

                                                                                  A DV E RTI S I N G SA L E S
     •	 Assistance	defining		                                                            Stefanie Magner
        goals	and	needs	                                                         Sales Manager, stefanie@teenlife.com
                                                                                           Dina Creiger
     •	 Information	on	colleges	                                                 Account Director, dina@teenlife.com
        suited	to	individual		                                                        Mary Anne MacLean
        academic	and	social	                                                   Account Director, mamaclean1@gmail.com
        needs	and	preferences	
                                                                                      O P E R ATI O N S
     •	 Advice	on	course		                                                  Ellie Boynton, Vice President of Operations
        selection,	extra-curricular	                                          Maria Kieslich, Director of Operations
        activities	and	testing	                                            Alice Vaught, Lesli Amos, Customer Service

     •	 Help	with	all	aspects	                                             CO N TR I B U TI N G W R I TE R S
        of	application	process	                                   Sarah Buttenwieser, Randi Mazella, Caroline Metcalf-Vera,
        including	essay	writing                                         Mary Michael Nibley, Kimberly Wolf, M.Ed.

                                                                                   A RT & P R O D U C TI O N
          Achieve your child’s                                                        Kathryn Tilton, Designer
         goal with a minimum
               of stress.
                                          PUBLISHED BY Life with Teens, Volume 1, Issue 2 Fall 2012 is a quarterly publication of TeenLife Media, LLC.
                                          1330 Beacon St., Suite 268, Brookline, MA 02446, (617) 277-5120, info@teenlife.com, www.teenlife.com
                                          LIMIT OF LIABILITY TeenLife Media, LLC (TL) does not verify claims or information appearing in any
                                          advertisements contained in this magazine. While advertising copy is reviewed, no endorsement of any product or
       Anne Weisholtz                     service offered by any advertisement is intended or implied by publication in Life with Teens.
                                          No part of this magazine’s editorial content may be reproduced without written consent by TeenLife.
             201-568-9326
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                                          any loss or damage caused by a user’s reliance on the information contained in this publication. Information is
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       Member IECA, NACAC,                making any commitments.

         NJACAC, HECA                     Trademarks: TeenLife Media, LLC and related trade dress are trademarks or registered trademarks of TeenLife
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             Visit my website at          Copyright © 2012 by TeenLife Media, LLC
     comprehensivecollegecounseling.com   Published by TeenLife Media, LLC, Brookline, MA




2    LIFE WITH TEENS  FALL 2012
A Leading Progressive
Conservatoire




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Life with Teens Fall 2012
FALL
                                                                  2012



                                     TeenLife.com

	8		
	
        CAREER TRACK:
        Why Study STEM?
        By Randi Mazzella
                                                         17
1
	 3	
		
        MONEY SENSE:
        Making College More Affordable
        By Mary Michael Nibley


17	
		
        CAMPUS CONNECT:
        Putting Teens to the Test—
	   	   A Well-Rounded Approach to SAT & ACT Prep
        By Kimberly Wolf, M.Ed.


20	 Parents and Teens and the Social Media Gap
    FEATURE:



                                                                                    29
	 	
        By Sarah Buttenwieser


27	 VOLUNTEER SPOTLIGHT:
		 Does Your Teen “Do Something”?
        By Lesli Amos


29	 HEALTH & WELLNESS:and Parent:
		 Demonstrate, Instruct,
	   	   How to Be Your Teen’s Best Driving Coach
        By Kimberly Wolf, M.Ed.


32	 VIEWPOINTS:
	 	 Cyberbullying—	
	   	   A Real Fear for Parents	
	   	   and Teens Today
        By Sarah Buttenwieser
                                                    In Every Issue
                                                    6	 NewYOU KNOW? stats
                                                            
                                                    	
                                                             DID
                                                                 groundbreaking


                                                    7	 FAVORITE FINDS:and greatest
                                                            Review the latest
                                                    	
          See page 7.




43	
		
         2012 NATIONAL ASSOCIATION FOR COLLEGE ADMISSION
         COUNSELING (NACAC) NATIONAL COLLEGE FAIRS
                                                                                     STAY CONNECTED!




44	
		
         2012 NATIONAL ASSOCIATION FOR COLLEGE ADMISSION 			
         COUNSELING (NACAC) PERFORMING & VISUAL ARTS COLLEGE FAIRS

                                                                            FALL 2012 LIFE WITH TEENS     5
DID YOU
                   KNOW?




        Daily Deals Work!
        68% of daily deal buyers returned to the
        establishment even without another discount offer.
        ConsumerSearch.com and The About Group Research, June 2011




                       ERE
            BY 2016, TH
               WILL BE
                        N
             MORE THA
                                 



                          NE                                            4.4 million
                SMARTPHO
                   USERS.                                            teens volunteered
                          Statista 2102
                                                                      377 million
                                                                     hours of service in
                                                                         one year.
                                                                       Volunteering in America 2010


6    LIFE WITH TEENS  FALL 2012
FAVORITE
                                                                       FINDS
                                                                 Here are some of our
                                                                 favorite new sites.
                                                                 burst.it
                                                                 Want a simple, safe, and smart way
                                                                 to share your photos and videos only
                                                                 with your closest family and friends—
                                                                 not the entire Internet? Sign up for
                                                                 Burst. It’s an easy way to share life’s
        SURE                                                     moments without the need for pri-
  MAKE ECK                                                       vacy settings. A free Burst account
   TO CHHILD’S                                                   includes the mobile app, secure
       C
  YOUR INGS!                                                     storage and backup, and a personal
    SETT                             Tom K! / Shutterstock.com   media dashboard! www.burst.it.
                                                                 Available for iPhone and Android
                                                                 devices.

   ALMOST 13 MILLION FACEBOOK 	
USERS SAY THEY HAVE NEVER SET, OR
 DID NOT KNOW ABOUT, FACEBOOK’S
 PRIVACY TOOLS, SUCH AS BLOCKING 	
  APPLICATIONS AND CONTROLLING
      WHO SEES THEIR PROFILE.
            Consumer Reports, 2012

                                                                 lyst.com
                                                                 Lyst combines the best of social
                                                                 and shopping. Follow your favorite
                                                                 designers and bloggers and add the
                                                                 products you like to your personal
                                                                 “lyst.” Pinterest junkie? Link your
                                                                 account and the items you’ve pinned
                                                                 will also land on your lyst. When any
                                                                 of your items go on sale, you’ll get an




 QR
                                                                 alert! Go to www.lyst.com and sign
                                                                 up for future shopping bliss.




 barcode                                                         dailyworth.com
 scans have increased                                            From impulse buying to saving for
                                                                 retirement to testimonials of entrepre-

 157% in the past year.                                          neurial success, Daily Worth provides
                                                                 ongoing tips to help women manage
              Scanlife 2012                                      money effectively. Their daily financial
                                                                 advice is definitely worth it! Learn
                                                                 more at www.dailyworth.com.


                                                                               FALL 2012 LIFE WITH TEENS     7
CAREER
                 TRACK

               WHY STUDY

       STEM?    B Y R A N DI M A Z Z E L L A



                  ebekah Fraser, founder of the website
                  Real World STEM (www.realworldstem.
                  com), recalls an intense discussion she
                  overheard between her middle school
                  daughter and several friends about para-
                  sitic mites that live on human eyelashes.
                  Fraser was amazed that the girls were so
knowledgeable about these creatures. She remarked, “I
had no idea you girls were so interested in science!” Her
daughter laughed and said, “Ugh! No, I hate science,”
and her friend added, “Yeah, it’s so boring!” Fraser says,
“The girls had a complete disconnect to the fact that
while they may not like their science classes at school,
they were fascinated and excited by scientific concepts.”
    Fraser’s daughter and her friends are not alone in
their thinking that subjects like math and science can be
dull, difficult, and have no relevant application in their
everyday lives. Students may even question if there is a
need to learn these concepts at all.
    But a solid foundation in STEM (the acronym com-
monly used for Science, Technology, Engineering, and          at the University of Pennsylvania School of Engineering &
Mathematics) education will provide today’s teens with        Applied Science, which provides a number of teen summer
the foundation for a wide range of exciting and lucrative     programs says, “The study of engineering teaches students
careers in the future.                                        valuable skills such as problem solving, teamwork, and criti-
                                                              cal thinking. These skills are transferable to a wide array
Who should study STEM?                                        of careers including but not limited to actually being an
     A solid foundation in STEM education is important        engineer.”
for all students. Judith Hallinen, an educator at Carn-            Some students may feel they just aren’t math or science
egie Mellon University says, “There is a misconception        students and want to opt out these subjects. Joyce Plotkin,
amongst some educators that STEM-related studies are          founder and chair of the DIGITS Project, a STEM educa-
meant for elite students.” David Cedrone, Executive           tion program, says, “Yes, math and science can be difficult
Director, Governor’s STEM Advisory Council of Massa-          but that doesn’t mean kids should give up; it means they
chusetts adds, “STEM education is necessary at all levels     should be encouraged to ask for help.” Parents can help too
from high school to vocational school to PhD programs.”       by urging their child not to give up on subjects they find
     Teens and their parents may think there is no need       challenging.
to study engineering or technology beyond their typi-              To increase teen interest in STEM subjects, Fraser says,
cal science and math classes, unless they want a career       “Educators need to illustrate how these subjects are relevant
in these fields. However, Megan Doherty, Associate            to their students ’ lives and find creative, interesting ways to
Director, International and Service Learning Programs         teach these concepts so that kids want to learn more.”

8    LIFE WITH TEENS  FALL 2012
What is a STEM career?                   cation can open many doors for stu-       has shrunk to about 15 percent.”
     Christianne Corbett, a senior       dents. (See page 10 for more details.)         President Obama has been very
researcher at the American As-                Corbett highlights careers in        vocal on the need for STEM-based
sociation of University Women,           biomedical research, environmental        education and the importance that
adds, “There is a misconception          engineering, software engineers, and      STEM-based careers will have on the
that having STEM a career means          network systems and data communica-       future of the United States. The U.S.
working alone in a white lab coat        tion as “hot” STEM careers for the        Department of Commerce’s Econom-
or that the only jobs in technology      next decade.                              ics and Statistics Administration
are writing code.” The reality is                                                  (ESA) released a report in 2011 that
that there are many different and        Why pursue a STEM                         profiled U.S. employment in STEM
exciting STEM careers.                   career?                                   fields. The report showed that over
     Broadening public awareness              According to Rodney C. Adkins,       the past 10 years, growth in STEM
of the many STEM opportunities           senior vice president of IBM’s Systems    jobs was three times greater than that
available in the workplace is the        & Technology Group, “It is clear that     of non-STEM jobs, and STEM jobs
goal of the Massachusetts based          to benefit our economy and society, our   are expected to continue to grow at
WOW campaign. The campaign               national priority should be on encour-    a faster rate than other jobs in the
highlights the careers of fifteen        aging more students to study STEM.        coming decade. In addition, STEM
very different individuals including     Unfortunately, the U.S. is trending in    workers command a higher earning
a video game designer, a meteo-          the opposite direction. When I gradu-     potential. They will earn 26 percent
rologist, and a baseball statistician.   ated from college, about 40 percent       more than their non-STEM counter-
The objective of the campaign            of the world’s scientists and engineers   parts and are also less likely to experi-
truly illustrates how a STEM edu-        resided in the U.S. Today that number     ence unemployment.




How parents can foster an interest in STEM
Encourage students to take as many math and                  Eliminate negative learning myths.
science classes as they possibly can in high school.         Well-intended parental statements such as “I was never
The key is for students to have a good foundation in         good at math and I turned out fine” send students the
these subjects so that they can continue to build 	          wrong message. Instead parents should encourage their
knowledge at a higher level of learning. Even if they        child to take classes that may be difficult—and emphasize
don’t think they want a career in engineering or math-       learning as a goal instead of always getting “the A.” Try
ematics now, their career goals may change in the 	          positive reinforcement with statements like, “I believe in
future. Without basic knowledge of STEM subjects, 	          your abilities. I am proud of you for working so hard at
their potential for growth may be limited.                   something so challenging.”

Encourage students to pursue STEM subjects                   Instill in your child a “growth mindset” instead of a
outside of the classroom. 	                                  “fixed mindset.”
Look into summer programs that offer fieldwork in            Corbett explains that students with a fixed mindset
STEM subjects and afterschool clubs such as FIRST 	          believe their intelligence and talents are just fixed traits.
robotics www.usfirst.org. FIRST robotics is a not-for-       With a growth mindset students understand that their
profit organization devoted to helping young people          talents and abilities can be developed through effort,
develop a passion for STEM subjects through hands-	          good teaching, and persistence. A growth mindset allows
on robotics competitions. 	                                  students to achieve much more because they believe 	
                                                             they can.
Sean Amos, rising freshman at Worcester Polytechnic
Institute, says that FIRST strengthened his resolve to       Be your own child’s role model.
pursue a career in the STEM field of robotics. “It gave      Rodney C. Adkins sums this up nicely, “My father 	
me hands-on experience with designing, programming,          encouraged me to deconstruct, analyze, and experiment
and building—I loved it,” Amos remarks.                      with our home appliances. The insight I gained into 	
                                                             how things work together opened my eyes to new 	
Treat girls and boys as equals in the world of learning.     possibilities and instilled in me a desire to create 	
Eliminate the idea that a career is just for boys or just    new technologies.”
for girls. Instead encourage all children to follow their
passion.
                                                                                                  FALL 2012 LIFE WITH TEENS     9
Meet the WOWsters
 Fifteen people with diverse occupations are spotlighted in the WOW Campaign, an initiative of the Massachusetts
 Governor’s STEM Advisory Council. Joyce Plotkin, Council Executive Committee Member and Co-Chair of the 	
 Public Awareness Committee that created the WOW Campaign, says, “This initiative is about identifying and 	
 shining a spotlight on professionals who exemplify the WOW of STEM. They are wonderful role models for our
 young people and they show the exciting work that STEM professionals do. My hope is that every state in the
 country will do a similar local campaign.”

 Here are some of the “WOWsters” featured in the 2012 campaign:


                               Bill James is a statistician for                 Jim Toepel enjoys working 	
                               the Boston Red Sox. James pro-                   on the cutting edge of technol-
                               vides senior management with                     ogy as a video game designer.
                               research analysis on special                     He is currently on the software
                               projects and player contracts.                   development team at Harmo-
                               He has been writing about                        nix Music Systems where he is
                               baseball since 1975 and is the                   creating brand new experiences
                               author of more than 30 books.                    for gamers.



                               Mish Michaels is a meteorologist.                Mikell Taylor is a Robotics
                               Michaels has a Masters in Educa-                 Engineer who participated on
                               tion with a concentration in Tech-               the FIRST robotics team at her
                               nology and a B.S. in Meteorology/                all-girls high school. Mikell cur-
                               Atmospheric Science. Michaels                    rently works for Bluefin Robotics
                               has worked on several weather                    Corporation, a company that
                               programs including WBZ-TV 	                      builds and designs underwater
                               in Boston and The Weather 	                      robots.
                               Channel’s Atmospheres.


                                                                                Anna Mracek Dietrich is the
                               Daniel Pratt is a real life CSI.                 Co-founder of Terrafugia, Inc., a
                               With a B.S. in biology, he collects,             company which is developing the
                               preserves, and analyzes physi-                   Transition® Roadable Light Sport
                               cal evidence and supervises the                  Aircraft—the first real-life “flying
                               Crime Scene Response Unit for                    car”. Anna was named one of the
                               the Massachusetts State Police.                  Boston area’s top 15 Innovators by
                                                                                the Boston Globe in 2010.


                               Catherine Reyes was born and                     Andrew J. Jackson is currently
                               raised in Columbia, and came to 	                a chemist at Cubist Pharmaceu-
                               the United States in 2000 as a tenth             ticals. Jackson’s story reminds
                               grade student. Reyes participated 	              students that although math and
                               in the school science fair and 	                 science may be challenging, to
                               received an honorable mention,                   stick with it. To get to where he
                               which sparked her enthusiasm                     is today, Jackson enrolled in a
                               for science. Reyes attended the                  community college first where he
                               University of Massachusetts and                  found a mentor in his chemistry
                               has received a full scholarship to               professor. Jackson then received 	
                               Harvard Medical School where she                 a degree in general chemistry 	
                               is currently a third year student                at the University of California, 	
                               pursuing family medicine.                        San Diego.




       For more information on the WOW campaign, or to order a poster or see the video, go to www.mass.edu.


10    LIFE WITH TEENS  FALL 2012
Large corporations such as IBM
are jumping on board as well, with
strong initiatives in new grade 9-to-14
schools that focus on STEM educa-
tion. These schools pair students with
corporate mentors, who provide real-
world insight into industry trends.
Students graduate with an Associate’s
Degree and the skills needed to
transition directly into jobs in the
information technology industry.
     Other STEM initiatives include
organizations like CityScience
(www.cityscience.org) in New York.
CityScience coordinates service-learn-
ing projects that employ and engage
students with STEM professionals.
Together students and profession-
als tackle real world challenges in a
students’ community. In CityScience
programs, for example, high school
students have studied the biodiversity
of urban forests and used Geographic
Information Systems (GIS) to model
topography.
     Teens in Tech Labs
(www.teensintech.com) provides
tools and resources that bring youth
and technology together—and inspire
young people to become early product
entrepreneurs.                            building toys and video games than         to promote girls and STEM. Their
     Rebecca Blank, Acting U.S. Com-      their female peers, it is debatable        DigiGirlz Program teaches high
merce Secretary adds, “Students who       whether this is a result of a natural      school girls about careers in technol-
pursue jobs in science, technology,       inclination or a reinforced behav-         ogy and provides hands-on computer
engineering, and math are the next        ior based on societal stereotypes.         and technology workshops.
generation of creative entrepreneurs      Corbett says, “Girls tend to under-             There is also a disparity in terms
who will make sure we have the best,      estimate their abilities in STEM           of fostering STEM education among
most skilled workers in the world so      subjects. But in fact, girls are just as   minorities. According to Adkins, of
that the jobs and industries of tomor-    successful.”                               school-age children today, 43 percent
row take root right here in America.”          When it comes to career choices,      are of African American, Latino, or
                                          Corbett points out that women tend         Native American descent. Yet of all
Encouraging Girls and                     to be more concerned with making a         the engineering bachelor’s degrees
Minorities to Study STEM                  social contribution to the world versus    in the U.S., less than 15 percent
     It is imperative that educa-         men whose career choices are more          are awarded to underrepresented
tors encourage girls and minority         likely to be motivated by social recog-    minorities. We need to reconcile
students to study and pursue STEM         nition and/or compensation. Corbett        these opposing trends so that the
careers early on.                         says, “The social contribution of a        composition of our STEM education
     There are several reasons why        STEM-related career may not be as          pipeline reflects America’s shifting
girls may shy away from STEM              obvious. But STEM careers can have         demographics.
studies and STEM careers. Corbett         a very positive effect on the world,            STEM education is paramount
explains, “Some STEM disciplines          such as creating more drinkable water      for all students. A background rich
have long been viewed as ‘male do-        or finding a cure for a disease.”          in STEM makes for flexible, logical
mains.’” But while little boys                 Large corporations like Micro-        minds, and increases the capacity for
typically gravitate more toward           soft are jumping on the bandwagon          all youth to continue learning. LWT

                                                                                                   FALL 2012 LIFE WITH TEENS     11
Life with Teens Fall 2012
SENSE


                                                                       MAKING
                                                                       COLLEGE
                                                                   More
                                                                Affordable
                                                                         B Y M ARY M ICHAEL NIB LEY




                he cost of college can cause a serious case    What Constitutes a Financial Aid Package
                of sticker shock. Luckily, there are ways          Customized aid packages assembled by colleges and
                to make earning a four-year degree more       universities can take many forms. They can consist of
                affordable. Some strategies take long-term    government-sponsored grants and/or loans contingent
                advance preparation while others come into    upon a family’s income and assets, work-study jobs, and
play once the application process begins. Every parent,       merit-based scholarships bestowed for accomplishments
even ones with very young children, should keep this in       (such as high GPAs, class rank, talent, athletic prowess,
mind: it’s never too soon to start thinking about how to      leadership, community service, and so on). Families can
foot the college bill.                                        get feedback on whether they qualify for need-based
     A married mother of two teens was pleasantly sur-        financial aid by plugging some basic personal financial
prised by the generous aid package offered by the college     numbers into free online tools before tackling the gov-
her eldest daughter will attend this fall. After her daugh-   ernment’s required Free Application for Federal Student
ter was accepted by Muhlenberg College in Allentown,          Aid (FAFSA). Government websites have a wealth of
PA, and also several other universities, she worked closely   reliable information (See www.studentaid.ed.gov).
with financial aid officers to decipher what was the best          Sites sponsored by the College Board (www.college-
financial scenario at each school. She was surprised to       board.org) as well as individual colleges and universities
discover how schools compete over financial assistance.       are also extremely helpful. “Anybody on the fence about
     “Muhlenberg’s offer beat the others and their finan-     seeking financial aid should pursue it,” advises Cristin
cial aid staff was terrific to deal with,” the mother said.   Viebranz, college counselor, at University School of
Muhlenberg College’s “list” price—i.e., full cost without     Nashville.
any aid—is about $54,000, which includes tuition, room             That’s especially important in light of the soaring
and board, and some miscellaneous expenses. But through       cost of college. Department of Education statistics report
a combination of need-based grants, merit scholarships        that between 2000 and 2010, the cost of tuition, room and
to recognize her daughter’s musical theater talents,          board—not to mention textbooks, supplies, and ancillary
subsidized loans, and a work-study job, the tab to attend     fees—rose 37 percent at public institutions and 25 percent
Muhlenberg will be significantly less than the cost of        at private schools, after adjustment for inflation.
sending her daughter to a larger state institution—another         Private calculations are even higher, with many
school at which she was accepted, at a price of roughly       economists estimating college costs running at about 2.5
$24,000 a year for New Jersey residents.                      times the inflation rate. The cost of earning a degree at a

                                                                                                 FALL 2012 LIFE WITH TEENS     13
private, four-year college is estimated                        options and providers,” explains Jeff        FINANCIAL AID
to be $200,000.                                                Weiner, Senior Vice President for             COMES FROM
                                                               CCO Investment Services.                     MANY SOURCES
Build Relationships with                                            According to White, these ap-
Prospective Colleges                                           proaches are preferable to borrowing


                                                                                                                74%
      Viebranz also recommends                                 through government-sponsored financial
utilizing the expertise of financial                           aid programs that have relatively high
aid offices at prospective colleges. By                        interest rates. Rates on home equity
establishing a relationship with the                           loans currently hover in the 3% range
financial aid staff, families can have                         while taking out an unsubsidized loan        Federal government
in-depth discussions about their in-                           through the government’s Stafford Loan        grants, loans and
dividual needs. And the relationship                           program, for example, has a far steeper           other aid
should not end once a student selects                          rate of 6.8%. Rates on PLUS loans,
a school and submits paperwork seek-                           another government education financing


                                                                                                                 17%
ing financial aid. Sometimes financial                         tool, are even higher—7.9%.
aid packages can be adjusted if a
family’s circumstances have changed                            Money Saving Strategies for
since the original aid application was                         Receiving Financial Aid
submitted. “Every year I see unique                                 Stephanie Welder, a private coun-         College grants/
situations,” Viebranz notes.                                   selor and founder of Access College and         scholarships
      Scott White, director of guidance                        Career Consultants, reminds parents
at Montclair High School, Montclair,                           that there are things high school stu-
NJ, believes the most affordable way                           dents can do before the college applica-
to finance college is to save over time
by using 529 accounts or by borrow-
ing against a secure asset, such as a
                                                               tion process begins that will increase the
                                                               odds of getting some form of financial
                                                               assistance. Students should be active
                                                                                                                  5%
home equity loan or a pension loan.                            in the community and seek volunteer
                                                                                                              State government
Named for a section of the Internal                            opportunities. They should maintain
                                                                                                             grants/scholarships
Revenue Service Code, 529 accounts                             the highest possible grades and take the
are education savings plans.                                   most rigorous course loads possible.
      “A 529 plan qualifies for federally                           These factors can be a plus when
tax exempt investment growth and,
in some cases, additional state tax
breaks. Other benefits include profes-
                                                               applying for non-need based scholarships
                                                               and grants. They can also help students
                                                               stand out among their peers and attract
                                                                                                                  4%
sionally managed investment portfo-                            the attention of community organiza-
lios, parental control, and flexibility to                     tions that provide scholarship funds to          Private and
choose from a variety of investment                            deserving individuals.                        employer grants/
                                                                                                               scholarships




              Be sure to take advantage of federal
              and college-provided funds, which add
              up to about 90% of all aid.
• Nearly half of four-year college students attend a college
  with a sticker price of less than $9,936 a year—and thanks to
  financial aid, most of them pay even less than that.*
• More than 6 out of 10 college students receive some sort
  of financial aid. The average student received a little over
  $12,400 last year to help pay for college.
• The federal government last year awarded more than $132
  billion in grants, work-study funds, and low-interest loans.
 Note: All statistics refer to undergraduate students. *Accounts for nonprofit colleges only.
 Sources: The College Board’s Trends in Student Aid 2011 and Trends in College Pricing 2011 reports.


14    LIFE WITH TEENS  FALL 2012
In some cases it’s possible for    EarthConnect:
                                        A Costa Rican Adventure
high school juniors and seniors to
earn credits by taking courses at
community colleges, which might

                                        Summer Program
shorten the time needed to re-
main in a four-year institution and
thereby lower the price. Performing
well on Advance Placement (AP)
and International Baccalaureate
(IB) tests can also earn students
                                        for Teens

                                        ‘‘
college credit.
     Another money-saving ap-           Story after story came…
proach is a bit more radical—and
may not appeal to students who are      Spy hopping with the
eager for the full college experi-      dolphins, kayaking in
ence. It involves having students
enroll in comparatively inexpensive,    mangroves, meeting
local, two-year community colleges      locals and traveling by
after high school and then transfer
to a four-year school to complete a     bus. What became clear
bachelor’s degree program.              to me was how much
     Given that for many profes-
sions, employers want job applicants    Sam enjoyed being with
to have post-graduate degrees, the      authentic people from a
importance of where and how the
undergraduate degree was accom-         foreign culture. When I
plished is less important. When         asked him “Was it what
considering this approach, check
whether the four-year institutions      you thought it would
will accept the community-college       be?” His response was
credits where students hope to
eventually go.                          “Better, by far!” He
     According to the New Jersey        was proud of the work
mom, one of the best pieces of
advice she has heard about coping       he accomplished and all
with college admissions came from a     that he learned. He got
high school guidance counselor. The
counselor always advises students       more out of the program
                                        than I could have


                                                              ’’
and families to include a “financial
safety school” in the list of places
to apply. It should be a school that    possibly expected.
the student would actually want to      —EarthConnect 2011 Parent
attend but is more affordable than
other first-choice schools.
     For every family, finding a way
to finance college that fits indi-      Chill Expeditions
vidual goals and needs will involve
research and detailed discussions.
                                        Costa Rican Adventures
                                        Experiential Learning Adventures Since 1995
Welder offered this advice: “The
most important thing to remember        800.551.7887 Toll Free
when applying for aid of any kind
                                        requests@costaricanadventures.com
is that there are deadlines and every
source of funds has a different cut-    www.costaricanadventures.com
off point.” LWT

                                                                                      FALL 2012 LIFE WITH TEENS     15
INTERVIEW WITH A COLLEGE
                                             FINANCIAL AID OFFICER
                                             TeenLife Intern Caroline Metcalf-Vera interviews her mother 	
                                             Melissa Metcalf, Associate Director of Financial Aid at Boston College.




 Q: How do parents and students apply for financial aid?        Q: What are the financial aid deadlines?
 A: Families must complete a Free Application for Federal       A: Deadlines can vary at each school, depending on
    Student Aid (FAFSA), a College Scholarship Services            whether you are applying through admissions as
    (CSS) Profile, and often submit a recently-signed copy         “early action”, “early decision”, or “regular decision”.
    of an IRS federal tax return (complete with schedules          Most deadlines begin in November. These deadlines
    and W2s) for both parents and students. Many institu-          are critical to the overall amount of aid you receive.
    tions require their own forms as well.
                                                                Q: If parents are separated or divorced, do they both
 Q: Is financial aid based on merit or need?                      need to submit financial aid documents?

 A: Financial aid can be based on merit, need, or a 	           A: For institutions awarding federal student aid only,
    combination of both, depending on the school to                the custodial parent needs to submit the FAFSA and
    which you apply. Merit-based aid takes a student’s             tax information for the custodial family.
    academic or athletic achievements, special talents,
    or demographic characteristics into account. Need-          	 For institutions awarding their own money, most 	
    based aid is the difference between the cost of atten-        colleges and universities require information from 	
    dance (COA) of that school and the estimated family           both parents. Need-based aid is based on the princi-
    contribution (EFC) determined for that year. The EFC          ple that both parents are responsible for paying for
    is determined through using standard federal and              the cost of education. The custodial family should fill
    institutional formulas. Every school differs in the way       out the FAFSA and CSS Profile and the non-custodi-
    they award a student’s financial aid package so asking        al parent should fill out the Non-Custodial Parent 	
    questions and understanding the process for each              CSS Profile Statement.
    institution is important.
                                                                	 Most schools will consider waiving the non-custodial
 Q: Will a student’s chances of acceptance be                     requirement with documentation of special circum-
   diminished if they apply for aid?                              stances. Unwillingness is not usually a reason for 	
                                                                  waiving the requirement.
 A: Not always, some schools have a “need blind” admis-
    sions policy, which means that the admissions office
    evaluates each student’s academic credentials without
    knowledge of a family’s financial circumstances.
    Again, it can vary from school to school.

 Q: Do families need to apply every year? Will the
   financial aid be the same over the four years
   attend the college?
 A: Yes, students who wish to be considered for financial
    aid must apply each year. Need-based financial aid
    awards are based on demonstrated financial need;
    therefore your need may change from year to year.
    Significant changes such as increases or decreases in
    parent or student income, assets, tax liability, family
    size, or number of students attending college may
    impact your overall eligibility for financial aid. Your
    financial aid award will change accordingly.  




16    LIFE WITH TEENS  FALL 2012
CONNECT


     Putting Teens to the Test
        A Well-Rounded Approach to SAT & ACT Prep
                                                                                          BY K IM BERLY WO LF, M.E D.




       n a time when the admissions process continues to        1. Put the test in perspective. While the SAT
       get more competitive and the economy acts as a con-      or ACT can play a significant role in a student’s college
       stant reminder that being successful in the workforce    application, standardized tests make up just one part of
       requires better preparation than ever, all aspects of    the greater picture. As AcceptU’s Dr. Stephen Friedfeld,
       college admissions can create a great deal of pressure   a former college admissions officer, notes, “Admissions is
for parents and their college-bound teens. Because they         a holistic process and all parts of the application will have
are much-hyped, arduous, and in many cases, required, the       some importance.” While more selective universities will
SATs and ACTs are significant drivers of this anxiety.          typically place more importance on scores in order to dif-
     The good news is that parents and students can employ      ferentiate among many highly qualified applicants, Fried-
a variety of tools and strategies to ease the process and       feld continues, “Grades and rigor of curriculum are always
make it more manageable and rewarding. Putting the test in      the most important part of any application.”
perspective, starting preparation early, identifying the best        Colleges also take into account a teen’s essays,
resources, scheduling the time to focus on practice, and        extracurricular activities, and “leadership potential.”
supporting healthy habits can help inspire the confidence,      Remember test scores only tell colleges one part of an
skill, and clarity needed to succeed.                           applicant’s story.

                                                                                                    FALL 2012 LIFE WITH TEENS     17
2. Start early. Sallie Oto, Director       Start with the College Board (www.        For instance, Huntington Learning
of Tutoring Services for ArborBridge,      collegeboard.org) and the ACT             Centers (www.huntingtonlearn-
notes that the students who perform        (www.actstudent.org) websites to          ing.com) use full-length practice
well on exams are those who have           gain a baseline understanding of the      SAT exams to measure a student’s
been studying for four to six months       tests. Here, you can find descrip-        progress.
and “feel like the structure and con-      tions of test length, question type,
tent of the exam is ‘second nature.’”      and format, as well as free full-length   How experienced are your tutors?
Beginning preparation at the end of        practice tests, and tips for prepara-     “Experienced tutors will know every
sophomore year will give your teen         tion. For the self-motivated student      single question in the book of 10
enough lead time to gain a sufficient      and families looking for the most         Real SATs, as well as the ten offered
level of comfort with test material.       affordable quality course options,        online,” Oto says. Whether your
For an added bonus, “starting to plan      these sites both offer online courses     teen is taking the SAT, ACT, or
and study early (and during the sum-       for under $100.                           other standardized tests, make sure
mer lull),” Oto says, “results in higher        For added support, opt for a tra-    prospective teachers have a deep
scores and stress-free test-taking for     ditional class, in-person tutoring, or    and thorough understanding of the
all upcoming exams that fall in junior     virtual programs. Test prep compa-        material.
and senior year.”                          nies like The Princeton Review offer
                                           all three (www.princetonreview.com).      How do you personalize your services?
3. Identify your resources.                Of course, the options are many,          Many SAT and ACT prep services
When it comes to studying for              but asking a few key questions will       will take your teen’s aptitude, learn-
standardized tests, look to free online    help you identify the highest quality     ing style, schedule, and even per-
resources and paid services to help        services that best fit your teen.         sonality into account when matching
produce desired scores. A huge indus-                                                them to a course or tutor. Ask how
try exists around SAT and ACT prep,        Which teaching materials do you use?      they assess new clients, what options
which means that there are tools avail-    Oto emphasizes that the best teach-       they offer for scheduling, and if they
able at a wide range of price points       ers and tutors will work “primarily       are tied to a location or able to con-
that can be tailored to students with a    with materials published by the test      duct sessions virtually with the help
variety of needs and learning styles.      makers.”                                  of Skype or similar programs.

18    LIFE WITH TEENS  FALL 2012
4. Schedule the time.                    bfa
                                         dual degree with tufts university
According to Steve Elefson of            studio art diploma
Summit Education Group, “prep            pre-college summer studio
should continue right up to the
target test date. We don’t want
teens to make lots of progress over
the summer and then do nothing
until test day; instead, they should
keep up the work during the school
year.” Even if teens are starting
prep months in advance, Elefson
suggests planning for consistent
weekly test practice right up to the     school of
exam. This can be easier said than       the museum
done for today’s over-scheduled          of fine arts,
teens, but studying late at night        boston
or over the weekends can help
                                         230 The Fenway
students get needed practice hours.      Boston, MA 02115
“Some students aren’t ultra-             to schedule a visit,
                                         call 617-369-3626
productive by 9:00 p.m. at night,”
Elefson says, “but others find that                         a school for artists, by artists, since 1876
time works just fine.” If teens’
schedules don’t allow for weekly                                                                smfa.edu
practice, it’s time to start
making trade-offs.

5. Support healthy habits.
In the days and even moments
before an important test, proper
nutrition and a good night’s sleep
can give students’ performance an                                              Give your
                                                                               teen the
extra boost. Dr. Alan Greene of
Stanford Children’s Hospital and
www.DrGreene.com discourages
consumption of sugars, caffeine,
energy drinks, and processed white                                             confidence
                                                                               they need.
flours before tests. These can

                                        Alleyoop
contribute to anxiety and inter-
fere with sleep. Instead, he says,
teens should “stock up on proteins,
fruits, some grains” and “lots of fi-
ber [which can] even out hormonal
                                         Academic Life Coaching Ten one-on-one sessions tailored to
                                         the individual student. Increase academic confidence and reduce
swings.” To help teens get a good        anxiety. Build personal confidence and self-awareness. Improve
night’s sleep before the test, en-       communications, relationships and leadership skills; for school, for life,
courage exercise to help tire them       for your child.
out, and “keep living spaces cool
and dark. This can affect serotonin                                                           Gina Halsted
levels, which reduces anxiety, help-
                                                                                         Academic Life Coach
ing students sleep better.”
                                                                                          gina@ALCteen.com
    Keeping all of these test-taking                                                           781•258•9085
suggestions top-of-mind will lead                                                         www.ALCteen.com
your teen to SAT and ACT suc-
cess. LWT

                                                                                               FALL 2012 LIFE WITH TEENS     19
PARENTS & TEENS
       AND
       THE          Social Media
                                    Gap
                                   The most important thing I realized as I researched
                                   this story about teens and social media is that the 	
                                   story is primarily about the parenting of adolescents.
                                   And yes, it’s also about social media. I was surprised
                                   to find myself thinking about social media-related
                                   questions differently than I’d imagined.


                                                  by Sarah Buttenwieser




20    LIFE WITH TEENS  FALL 2012
FALL 2012 LIFE WITH TEENS     21
Except, I’m not a teenager; I’m a writer and a blog-
                                                                ger. Engagement in social media has become a fun—but
                                                                occasionally timewasting—part of my work.
                                                                     We all use social media to learn things and to connect
                                                                with friends—and to do some goofing off, too. However
                                                                active adults are online, though, it’s unclear to many of us
                                                                whether our kids use these networks as we do. My daily
                                                                computer habits differ greatly from my teens’. My more
                                                                typical teenage user listens to Spotify (a digital music
                                                                service) while he chats with three or four separate friends
                                                                at the same time he is reading an article.
                                                                     My less typical teenage user, my second son, makes
                                                                a beeline for the computer Wednesday afternoons when
                                                                he gets home from school in order to read the New York
                                                                Times food section online. He keeps up with food blogs
                                                                more faithfully than he does friends. I flip back and forth
                                                                between work and social media, generally not while listen-
                                                                ing to music. While my son’s banter most often occurs
                                                                on Facebook chat or through texting, mine is as likely to
                                                                happen on Facebook or Twitter or (kind of old-fashioned)
                                                                e-mail.

                                                                THE AGE OF DIGITAL NATIVES
                                                                     Let’s face it: children like ours, the ones who grew up
                                                                with chubby hands on a mouse, are part of the Internet
                                                                Generation. These “digital natives” have almost constant
                                                                access to the web.
                                                                     According to researchers on the Digital Natives project
                                                                at the Berkman Center for Internet and Society at Harvard
                                                                University, digital natives are defined “by their experience
                                                                growing up immersed in digital technology, and the impact
                                                                of this upon how they interact with information technolo-
                                                                gies, information itself, one another, and other people and
                                                                institutions.”
                                                                     As parents, the concept of raising digital natives is
                                                                certainly not to be taken lightly. We must open a strong
                                                                “digital dialogue” with our kids about both the positives
                                                                and negatives of social media.
       have two teens. As a parent, I’m focused on rais-             Texting is another issue that should be on parents’
       ing healthy, independent young adults (and I hope        minds. We are concerned that our children are texting too
       that we still like each other throughout the process)!   much and not always appropriately. The research sup-
       Social media is a flashpoint that reveals my parent-     ports this—teens are nearly sending 3,000 texts a month
       ing insecurities; my kids’ technological abilities are   compared to about 200 minutes used to talk on the phone,
fundamentally different than mine. Our journey requires         according to the Nielsen Company survey in 2009. Send-
some dialogue, some struggle, some trust, some wonder,          ing sexually explicit messages or “sexting” often goes hand-
and a good deal of my letting go.                               in-hand with texting. Only 12 percent of parents imagine
     Nearly half of all teenagers in the United States check    these explicit and often illegal messages as a part of their
their social media several times per day. Facebook trumps       teen’s life, but 43 percent of teens report that they have
Twitter for teens, with 68 percent reporting Facebook           participated in sexting in a given week.
as their main social networking site compared to just 6              From discretion about the photos teens send to Face-
percent saying the same of Twitter. And Instagram and           book banter that could be visible to college admissions offi-
Pinterest creeping up. Now, by this calculation, I am           cers in the future, this plugged-in generation must consider
totally a teenager.                                             their social activity across not only their teen years, but

22    LIFE WITH TEENS  FALL 2012
also their entire adult lives. Issues like       Steyer believes adults need to
identity, privacy and safety, creativ-       understand the huge impact that           A Note from a Teen
ity, piracy and intellectual property,       the Internet has on our lives: “The
and information overload will take up        Internet is fundamental to the way             “Growing up in the Digital
greater prominence in our lives, and         we all communicate and interact now.      Age, teens are a part of a genera-
                                                                                       tion of instant gratification—and
be fodder for academic research, legal       Teens are part of a generation that has   keeping in contact 24/7 through
resolution, and public policy.               never known life without 24/7-access      text and social media is a part of
                                             to any information in the world. It’s     that. From my point of view, I find
TEENAGERS’ SOCIAL                            changed the way teens communicate         that Facebook, the leader in social
MEDIA USE: THE SAME OR                       and there’s no going back.”               media, is fading out and Twitter is
                                                                                       beginning to take the front seat. It
DIFFERENT FROM OURS?                                                                   is easier for teens to interact with
     Parents of teens note that their        DO PARENTS REALLY KNOW                    each other there. A new social
teenagers’ social inclinations are           HOW MUCH THEIR TEENS                      media haven is Instagram, which is
mirrored by their social media use.          ARE ONLINE?                               a blog of your pictures. Together
One friend of mine, a parent to three             It’s surprising to discover how      Twitter and Instagram seem to be
                                                                                       taking the place of Facebook.
teens and a tween, says, “The more           parents’ perceptions of their teens’
social my kids are, the more they use        Internet use diverges from teens’              Personally, I don’t know where
Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. My         actual use. Parents think teens are way   I would be without social media.
eldest, who just turned 19, goes to the      less engaged online than they actu-       Going into high school I moved
most parties and he spends hours after       ally are—by about two hours per day.      three towns away from my best
                                                                                       friend. Along with texting, social
he finishes his homework chatting            While parents think their kids spend      media is how I stay connected
with friends, Skyping, and messaging.        about three hours a day online, kids      with her and updated on her life.
My husband and I think of that sort of       report spending more like five.
thing like our hour-long phone calls in           A snapshot comes courtesy of one          When discussing with my
high school.” She puts those calls and       recent study by the security company      mom a way to set boundaries on
                                                                                       my Internet access, we came to
her son’s multifaceted communications        McAfee. The study polled about 1,000      the conclusion that the best way
in the same frame: “Even though we           teenagers (13 to 17-year-olds) and        to monitor my time on the Internet
had seen someone all day, we still had       1,000 parents. It notes that there has    and usage of social media was
so much more to say.”                        been a sharp increase in the percent-     for my mom to be my Facebook
     Another friend, whose son is 14,        age of teens who lie to their parents     friend, and follower on Twitter
                                                                                       and Instagram. So even though
notes, “All of his social media use          about Internet use. Nearly 70 per-        she isn’t monitoring my computer
ebbs and flows depending on who he           cent of teens admitted that they hid      usage all the time, she can stay on
is this week and who his friends are.”       their full Internet use from parents, a   top of my activity.”
Through his social media use, she’s          sharp rise from 45 percent since the
very aware of the fact that the ground       company completed the same survey
beneath teens often seems to shift           two years earlier. Pair teens’ lies or
without warning.                             omissions with parents’ gullibility—
     Jim Steyer, CEO of Common               nearly half of the parents surveyed
Sense Media, reflects: “Social media         reported that they are certain they
is the place where kids are becom-           know “everything” their kids are doing
ing adults. Gender differences, hate         online—and the gap between percep-
speech, homophobia, and racism are all       tion and reality is readily apparent.
a part of teens’ lives.” We encounter             Truthfully, parents don’t know
these things as adults, and it is part of    everything their kids do online,
growing up to learn how to deal with         because how could they? 53 percent
these issues. Steyer continues, “The         of teens report that they clear the
difference in the digital world, how-        browser history, and nearly half sim-
ever, is the anonymity factor and the        ply close or minimize windows when
impulsive nature of mobile and online        their parents walk into the room.
communications. Social media has the         About one-third hide or delete instant
potential to exacerbate age-old anxiet-      messages or videos.
ies and rites of passage in ways that             Cover-ups are not necessarily
yesterday’s communications did not.”         required: while about one-quarter of

                                                                                                FALL 2012 LIFE WITH TEENS     23
teens report lying, the same percent-
age claim that they use computers
their parents never check. That’s
because most parents don’t seem ter-
ribly worried about their kids’ online
practices. 78 percent believe their kids
are hanging out with friends online;
about half of the parents surveyed
think kids go to Facebook or its
equivalent “daily.” About 25 percent
of parents say they don’t have time to
monitor their children’s Internet use.
     So, if we aren’t exactly in tune
with the amount of time our kids
spend online with social media, or
they cover up their online activities,
what should our strategy be? What
is the best approach to getting closer
to reality?



  TIPS TO MONITORING
    YOUR CHILD AND
                                           THINK ABOUT A SOFT                               Braun believes parents should
     SOCIAL MEDIA
                                           APPROACH TO PARENTING                      be reminded that “there are tools here
 1. 	Set “no technology” zones.            SOCIAL MEDIA                               that can change lives, because you can
     Designate the dinner table or              Dr. Lynn Clark, a media studies       ask questions and find answers. Being
     family events as places where         expert, did interview-based research       able to access information that can help
     cell phones and technology 	
     are off limits.
                                           with teens and parents focused on the      you to grow is a pretty amazing thing.”
                                           topics of digital and mobile media use           Applying strict rules for social media
 2.	 Embrace technology. 	
     Become your child’s friend 	          for her forthcoming book, The Par-         use is not always the answer.
     on Facebook and follow them           ent App: Understanding Families in a             One parent, totally on top of
     on Twitter and Instagram. It’s        Digital Age. She makes some valuable       social media for her own work, says
     easier to observe their activity      points:                                    her relatively newfound expertise
     and stay connected personally.
                                                Parents must be well informed about   required a sharp learning curve, and
 3.	 Know your child’s passwords.          social media.                              she wonders how people who are
     It’s perfectly reasonable to
     check your teen’s social media
                                                Dr. Clark recommends parents          not versed in social media can make
     use, even text messages 	             be well informed about social media        appropriate guidelines for teens. It
     occasionally. Just make sure          in general in order to be both credible    goes beyond monitoring their use
     you’re monitoring, not 	              and capable of asking good questions.      or imposing rules; it requires time
     snooping.                                  Librarian Linda Braun, who            navigating and using social content
 4. 	Configure privacy settings.           describes herself as formerly “anti-       themselves on a regular basis.
     Teach your child how to 	
                                           computer” hopped on the bandwagon                “Experts who came to my kids’
     establish privacy settings. 	
     Social media posts should 	           once she noticed teens using the           high school suggested rather strict
     only be shared with close 	           library’s old computers. She realized      rules that were totally unrealistic,” she
     family and friends.                   that she needed to become social           adds. “From what I can see, parents
 5. Discuss the rules of the               media savvy. Braun says she believes       and even experts often don’t interact
    Internet. Remind your teen 	           parents are afraid in many ways,           via the Internet to their own profes-
    that whatever they share 	             including many who are harboring a         sional or personal networks beyond
    online can be used against
    them down the line. Colleges
                                           fear that their teens know more about      email and links to static websites.
    and future employers may               technology than they do. The only          That renders them social media
    eventually look them up.               solution, she believes, is to do some      illiterate. It is no surprise that the
                                           learning.                                  rules that parents lay down are so

24    LIFE WITH TEENS  FALL 2012
easily circumvented.”                         received were all about not talking       everyday lives. Social media is not only
      She continues, “I opted for a           to strangers. Most bullying, most         just changing our relationships, but it
different tactic; attempting to foster        inappropriate behavior for that matter    is also changing the way teens access
good habits and awareness of what an          doesn’t occur online from strangers,      information in very positive ways.
online community means. It seemed             however. Bullying isn’t better if the          Teens Build Relationships through
a much smarter preparation for adult          people bullying are friends or people     Social Media
life than simply imposing rules my            you’re acquainted with, but all these          The original purpose of social me-
kids could wiggle around.”                    worries about some far-off threat,        dia can get lost with all the different
      Develop a strategy around dialogue      it’s just not the concerning issue,”      features it has to offer. However, the
and trust.                                    she says. “I think it’s easy to blame     most important feature—connecting
      Rather than a demand to be              technology for what are really societal   and maintaining relationships—is still
friends on Facebook, Dr. Clark                issues, like bullying. What’s on the      evident for teens. A Common Sense
believes that “Many parents seem to           Internet is really no different from      Media report based on surveys over a
have better success when they ask             anything offline.”                        one-month period (February to March
their teen for a Facebook tour every                                                    2011) to 1,030 teens aged 13-17 years,
once in a while, or ask a game player                                                   says that the single largest effect teens
to teach them how to play a favorite                                                    report (29 percent) is that social media
game.” She continues, “Ask your                     Rather than a demand                makes them feel less shy.
teen to show you a favorite YouTube               to be friends on Facebook,                 Half of teens report that social
video. The reason is that each of these             Dr. Clark believes that             networking helps their relationships,
actions allows parents to demonstrate           “Many parents seem to have              especially friendships with people
concern and interest and to learn                better success when they ask           they can’t see on a regular basis. Teens
about their teen’s world.” This easily                                                  believe social media helps them get to
opens up dialogue and trust.                       their teen for a Facebook            know schoolmates better and to con-
      Don’t blame the Internet for lack of       tour every once in a while,            nect with new people joined together
privacy—educate yourself.                           or ask a game player to             around a shared interest.
      In a New York Times article, an-              teach them how to play                   While most social media use is
thropologist and professor Dr. Danah                   a favorite game.                 positive, it is also worth noting that
Boyd frames adults’ fears about the                                                     teens also report strife: one-third of
Internet as just another example of the                                                 those questioned say they’ve argued
current era’s anxiety-fueled helicopter            So Braun’s advice to parents is      with friends online; one-fifth say
parenting. She asserts that the world         pretty simple: it’s to be “willing to     they’ve lost friendships; under 10
isn’t nearly so dangerous as people           talk—and to listen—about every-           percent have feared for their safety
fear, and says normal teenage “hang-          thing.” She suggests parents have a       or gotten into physical fights over
ing out” has just moved online.               real conversation with their teen, and    something that happened online. One-
      In the article, she explains, “We       realize that the work isn’t to teach      quarter of teens reported that they got
need to give kids the freedom to              them so much as to learn from them.       into trouble in school due to online
explore and experience things online          Then, she says, offer information and     incidents. For all of this online en-
that might actually help them. What           suggestions on very specific issues.      gagement though, about half of teens
scares me is that we don’t want to look       “Rather than try to teach them about      questioned say social media comes in
at the things that make us uncomfort-         privacy, what parents can and should      second to face-to-face conversation.
able. So rather than see what teenagers       be on top of are things like Facebook’s        Impact in the classroom.
are showing us online about bullying          privacy settings, which require updat-         Social media is enhancing
and suicide and the problems they’re          ing practically every week. Make sure     communication between educators
dealing with and using that infor-            your kids know how to update the set-     and parents. From classroom and
mation to help them, we’re making             tings. They are generally really open     homework blogs to parent portals,
ourselves blind to it.”                       to changing them.”                        educators have begun to use tech-
      Braun thinks that parental fear                                                   nologies so parents can be actively
of strangers (bullies and pedophiles)         NEW MEDIA AS A                            involved in their children’s education.
reaching their children online is really      USEFUL TOOL                                    Dr. Clark confirms, “Social and
just the same as their fears offline. “It’s       As parents, we also need to be        mobile media are transforming
really just like fears other genera-          reminded that social media can be a       learning spaces today. There are
tions had when the warnings children          good and practical tool in our teens’     exciting ways that some educators

                                                                                                      FALL 2012 LIFE WITH TEENS     25
are incorporating game design, social
media, and data analysis into their cur-
riculum.” She observes that parental
buy-in is easier when the learning
value is clear.
     For educators, Twitter may serve
as a useful tool to assist with role-play-
ing activities and to support develop-
ment of concise storytelling skills.
Interviews with lecturers via Twitter
or students’ tweeting during lectures
to encourage commentary in real-time
about the lecture are becoming some
of the newer classroom modalities.
Some educators create a Facebook
page—or have their students do
so—about a curriculum topic such as
theorems or literary characters.
     As Calvin Stowell, Social Media
Strategist for DoSomething.org notes,
“Teens are super passionate, whether
it be about a brand they care about or       say they have talked with a partner        their families, and their friends.
a cause. Social media was born as a          about safer sex and a quarter who          Around 40 percent of teens agree—
means to communicate those passions,         report having visited a doctor or other    somewhat strongly—that they’d
and because of that it’s not only easy,      health provider or gotten tested for       like to unplug briefly. Although it’s
but also rewarding to engage with            HIV or other STDs did so because of        common for parents to wish that their
teens positively. It’s all about meeting     the campaign. 28 percent of respon-        teens would detach from their devices,
a teen where they are and listening to       dents under 18 reported that due to        21 percent of teens wish their parents
what they have to say, not just telling      the campaign, they had a conversation      spoke less on cell phones or were
them what we think.” Taking this per-        with a parent or other adult regarding     less frequently attached to electronic
spective on teens into the classroom,        a sexual health issue.                     devices, too.
many educators successfully boost                 Social media allows teens to               It’s probably no surprise that
student engagement, and fun.                 foster change.                             many teens are uncertain about the
     Teens use the Internet and social            Social media has the capacity to      impact of social media upon their lives,
media to gather information.                 give teenagers a powerful platform,        positive or negative; they have little
     Take sex: teens go to the Internet      one that might be harder to find with-     or no comparison to previous genera-
for information about sexuality. 36          out it. This past spring, 14 year-old      tions. However, it is clear that teens
percent report that they have looked         Julia Bluhm took to the Internet with      are surrounded by social media and
up information on STDs and preg-             a petition drive aimed at glossy maga-     technology that allows them to stay in
nancy. A collaborative initiative of the     zines’ unrealistic depictions of teen      contact with friends 24/7, and this is
Kaiser Family Foundation and MTV             girls’ bodies. She lobbied for Seventeen   unlikely to change any time soon.
attempts to reach young people with          Magazine to publish at least one image          While parents should set bound-
information on pregnancy prevention          each issue that isn’t airbrushed. Three    aries that are appropriate for their
and STDs. The partnership grew from          months and about 84,000 signatures         teens, it’s more important that they
a realization that the Internet could        later, the magazine has agreed to be       communicate with their children
serve as a safe, judgment-free, go-to        more transparent about its images and      about the positives and negatives of
place for factual information young          has launched what it calls the Body        social media use. Of course, Face-
people want and need.                        Peace Project.                             book and Twitter have changed the
     The initiative’s recent survey of                                                  way people communicate with one
500 teens reveals that nearly half of        TAKE TIME TO UNPLUG                        another, but the basics of parenting
the respondents reported behavior                 It’s also worth noting that teens     remain the same—stay informed and
changes that they credited to the            recognize an increasing reliance upon      involved in your teen’s life, but give
partnerships’ efforts. Nearly half who       electronic gadgets for themselves,         them room to grow up too. LWT
26    LIFE WITH TEENS  FALL 2012
VOLUNTEER
                                                                            SPOTLIGHT



   Does Your Teen “Do Something”?
                                                                                                    BY LESLI AM OS



                    ith its Celebrity sponsorhips, social media,
                    and a mission statement that declares,
                    “We love teens,” DoSomething.org’s
                    edgy vibe and teen-targeted initiatives
                    empower teens to take action.
     Founded in 1993 by Melrose Place actor Andrew Shue,
DoSomething.org’s innovative campaigns allow teens and
young adults up to the age of 25 to do service work in areas
they are passionate about. In 2003, Nancy Lublin became
CEO (affectionately referred to as “Chief Old Person”) and
moved the organization online after recognizing that teens
are extremely Internet and tech savvy: surfing the web and
texting is where teens connect. Today, DoSomething.org
champions their causes by texting more than 500,000 teen
members on a regular basis.
                                                                                                            Ben Flajnik 	
     Dave DeLuca, the Head of Campaigns for the orga-                                                       from ABC’s 	
nization, comments, “Teens are wired, and so are we. We                                                   The Bachelor in
work hard to create engaging content on social media. In                                                  a Times Square
                                                                                                         Aeropostale store 	
fact, we’re finishing up our first successful Facebook ‘cause                                                 this year.
campaign,’ The Bully Project, where over 120,000 teens
took a survey encompassing the state of the problem in their
schools and lobbied to host the documentary Speak Up in            the site, search the “action finder” for opportunities, and
their school.” The survey results have yet to be published.        specify a particular time commitment—literally ranging
     And while taking the survey may seem like a somewhat          from one minute to one year. Teens can also find their
small contribution, DoSomething.org reminds students that          passion in any one of eleven categories, including bully-
every bit of activism counts. “People always believe that you      ing, the environment, human rights, and so forth, based
have to become a hardcore activist to make change,” DeLuca         on their specific service interest.
notes. “And while those people are amazing and make a huge              Of course, parental guidance is an important
impact, small things can make a difference as well.”               component of raising goal-oriented teens, but when
     Lending to its success, DoSomething.org makes teen            it comes to actually participating at the ground level,
participation extraordinarily easy. Teens can simply go to         DoSomething.org motivates teens to take over the reins.
                                                                   Parents need “to believe in their kid, trust them—and get
                                                                   out of their way,” says Deluca. That is not to say parents
              Help teens get involved                              and influential adults shouldn’t point them in the right
              with DoSomething.org                                 direction—look at how their teen can become a member
     Encourage teens and their friends to:                         of DoSomething.org, or peruse the many grants or
                                                                   scholarships available.
     •   Become a member
                                                                        Another part of DoSomething.org’s appeal is the
     •   Sign up for a current campaign
                                                                   celebrity factor. Many young actors and musicians
     •   Start a club
                                                                   support DoSomething.org’s viral creativity. A recent
     •   Apply for scholarships
                                                                   campaign against texting and driving, Thumb Wars, was

                                                                                                    FALL 2012 LIFE WITH TEENS     27
Life with Teens Fall 2012
Life with Teens Fall 2012
Life with Teens Fall 2012
Life with Teens Fall 2012
Life with Teens Fall 2012
Life with Teens Fall 2012
Life with Teens Fall 2012
Life with Teens Fall 2012
Life with Teens Fall 2012
Life with Teens Fall 2012
Life with Teens Fall 2012
Life with Teens Fall 2012
Life with Teens Fall 2012
Life with Teens Fall 2012
Life with Teens Fall 2012
Life with Teens Fall 2012
Life with Teens Fall 2012
Life with Teens Fall 2012
Life with Teens Fall 2012

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Life with Teens Fall 2012

  • 1. FALL 2012 THE MAGAZINE FOR PARENTS WITH TEENS SUBSCR IBE NOW teenlife.co m/m IT’S FRE ag E! PROTECTING YOUR CHILD FROM CYBERBULLYING Parents & Teens The Social Media Gap NOMINATE YOUR TEEN 10 PUBLISHED BY SAFEST CARS TeenLife.com FOR TEENS VOL. 1, ISSUE 2
  • 2. Reserve your free SUBSCRIBE NOW teenlife.com/m IT’S FREE! ag + subscription Are You a Helicopter Parent? now. DIVORCE Parents, teen s, and experts weig h in. PUBLISHED BY TeenLife.co VOL. 1, ISSUE m 1 10 TIPS FOR TEEN ON THE ROAD S FINANCIAL TO SUCCESS LOOK INSIDE Go to TeenLife.com/mag to keep receiving Life with Teens in your mailbox! Plus, you’ll get: 1. Unlimited access to our award-winning website featuring thousands of programs and opportunities for teens. e-Newsletter and popular 2. Our information-packed printed and digital guides. calendar of local events 3. Access to our community and volunteer opportunities for teens. Sign Up Now at TeenLife.com/mag.
  • 3. Welcome to The Magazine for Parents with Teens! t’s back-to-school time! Like most parents, I was always Plus, if you turn to page 37, you can nominate a teen happy when my kids headed back to school and my to be one of our TeenLife TeenLeaders. Two finalists will family could get back into a routine again. Although be selected for their leadership and outstanding community my two sons are not in high school anymore, they too service work. The prize includes a $1,000 scholarship! are getting back into the swing of things. My husband We hope you enjoy our fall issue! If you are not a and I just took one of my boys, Ben, back to college and I member of TeenLife, sign up at TeenLife.com/mag so that helped my other son, Eric, move into his new apartment in you continue to receive your free digital subscription. New York City where he started working. Trust me when I I welcome your feedback and comments, so please reach say, the teenage years fly by. out to me. And pass our magazine along to other parents you Not too long ago, I was in your shoes working hard to know with teens! raise confident, capable young adults. That’s why our new magazine, Life with Teens, is so important to me. As you turn the pages of our second issue, you’ll see Marie Schwartz, President & Founder, that it is chock-full of relevant articles, personal stories, TeenLife Media, LLC, mschwartz@teenlife.com and expert advice on: • Teaching your teen to drive P.S. Spread the word! Connect with TeenLife on Facebook • Learning how to save on college tuition (facebook.com/teenlife) and Twitter (@teenlifemedia). Invite • Monitoring your teen’s social media use family, friends, and coworkers to sub­ cribe to Life with Teens s at TeenLife.com/mag. International. Individual. Inspirational. British School of Boston Academically rigorous and internationally focused, Open Houses: featuring the International Baccalaureate Diploma. Wednesday, October 17, 9:30 – 11:00 a.m. Serving toddlers through High School students. Saturday, November 3, 1:00 – 3:00 p.m. Wednesday, December 5, 9:30 – 11:00 a.m. High School Merit Scholarships Available Tuesday, January 15, 9:30 – 11:00 a.m. NEW Toddler Program from 18 months 617.522.2261 admissionsbsb@wclschools.org • www.britishschoolofboston.org FALL 2012 LIFE WITH TEENS   1
  • 4. omprehensive ollege ounseling TeenLife.com Guiding students to become strong applicants PUBLISHER and find Marie Schwartz, President & Founder the right schools. MA R K E TI N G Cara Ferragamo Murray Vice President of Marketing & Communications Camille Heidebrecht Director of Marketing & Managing Editor Jon Blumenfeld Associate Manager, Social Media & Member Marketing A DV E RTI S I N G SA L E S • Assistance defining Stefanie Magner goals and needs Sales Manager, stefanie@teenlife.com Dina Creiger • Information on colleges Account Director, dina@teenlife.com suited to individual Mary Anne MacLean academic and social Account Director, mamaclean1@gmail.com needs and preferences O P E R ATI O N S • Advice on course Ellie Boynton, Vice President of Operations selection, extra-curricular Maria Kieslich, Director of Operations activities and testing Alice Vaught, Lesli Amos, Customer Service • Help with all aspects CO N TR I B U TI N G W R I TE R S of application process Sarah Buttenwieser, Randi Mazella, Caroline Metcalf-Vera, including essay writing Mary Michael Nibley, Kimberly Wolf, M.Ed. A RT & P R O D U C TI O N Achieve your child’s Kathryn Tilton, Designer goal with a minimum of stress. PUBLISHED BY Life with Teens, Volume 1, Issue 2 Fall 2012 is a quarterly publication of TeenLife Media, LLC. 1330 Beacon St., Suite 268, Brookline, MA 02446, (617) 277-5120, info@teenlife.com, www.teenlife.com LIMIT OF LIABILITY TeenLife Media, LLC (TL) does not verify claims or information appearing in any advertisements contained in this magazine. While advertising copy is reviewed, no endorsement of any product or Anne Weisholtz service offered by any advertisement is intended or implied by publication in Life with Teens. No part of this magazine’s editorial content may be reproduced without written consent by TeenLife. 201-568-9326 TL is not responsible for the accuracy of any description, or for mistakes, errors, or omissions of any kind, or for any loss or damage caused by a user’s reliance on the information contained in this publication. Information is subject to change without notice, and readers are advised to confirm all information about an organization before Member IECA, NACAC, making any commitments. NJACAC, HECA Trademarks: TeenLife Media, LLC and related trade dress are trademarks or registered trademarks of TeenLife and/or its affiliates in the United States and may not be used without written permission. Visit my website at Copyright © 2012 by TeenLife Media, LLC comprehensivecollegecounseling.com Published by TeenLife Media, LLC, Brookline, MA 2  LIFE WITH TEENS  FALL 2012
  • 5. A Leading Progressive Conservatoire BA (Hons) Music Leeds College of Music - the only English conservatoire with All-Steinway School status - offers an exciting and distinctive degree in Music with specialisms in Classical, Jazz, Popular Music, and Production. Visit the Leeds College of Music stand at the New York City Performing and Visual Arts College Fair, Tuesday 16 October, 6.30pm - 9.30pm, Jacob K. Javits Convention Center, 655 West 34th Street, New York, NY 10001. Discover more about Leeds at www.leedsliveitloveit.com Course Enquiries +44 (0)113 222 3416 enquiries.assistant@lcm.ac.uk www.lcm.ac.uk Twitter: @LeedsMusic
  • 7. FALL 2012 TeenLife.com 8 CAREER TRACK: Why Study STEM? By Randi Mazzella 17 1 3 MONEY SENSE: Making College More Affordable By Mary Michael Nibley 17 CAMPUS CONNECT: Putting Teens to the Test— A Well-Rounded Approach to SAT & ACT Prep By Kimberly Wolf, M.Ed. 20 Parents and Teens and the Social Media Gap FEATURE: 29 By Sarah Buttenwieser 27 VOLUNTEER SPOTLIGHT: Does Your Teen “Do Something”? By Lesli Amos 29 HEALTH & WELLNESS:and Parent: Demonstrate, Instruct, How to Be Your Teen’s Best Driving Coach By Kimberly Wolf, M.Ed. 32 VIEWPOINTS: Cyberbullying— A Real Fear for Parents and Teens Today By Sarah Buttenwieser In Every Issue 6 NewYOU KNOW? stats DID groundbreaking 7 FAVORITE FINDS:and greatest Review the latest See page 7. 43 2012 NATIONAL ASSOCIATION FOR COLLEGE ADMISSION COUNSELING (NACAC) NATIONAL COLLEGE FAIRS STAY CONNECTED! 44 2012 NATIONAL ASSOCIATION FOR COLLEGE ADMISSION COUNSELING (NACAC) PERFORMING & VISUAL ARTS COLLEGE FAIRS FALL 2012 LIFE WITH TEENS   5
  • 8. DID YOU KNOW? Daily Deals Work! 68% of daily deal buyers returned to the establishment even without another discount offer. ConsumerSearch.com and The About Group Research, June 2011 ERE BY 2016, TH WILL BE N MORE THA NE 4.4 million SMARTPHO USERS. teens volunteered Statista 2102 377 million hours of service in one year. Volunteering in America 2010 6  LIFE WITH TEENS  FALL 2012
  • 9. FAVORITE FINDS Here are some of our favorite new sites. burst.it Want a simple, safe, and smart way to share your photos and videos only with your closest family and friends— not the entire Internet? Sign up for Burst. It’s an easy way to share life’s SURE moments without the need for pri- MAKE ECK vacy settings. A free Burst account TO CHHILD’S includes the mobile app, secure C YOUR INGS! storage and backup, and a personal SETT Tom K! / Shutterstock.com media dashboard! www.burst.it. Available for iPhone and Android devices. ALMOST 13 MILLION FACEBOOK USERS SAY THEY HAVE NEVER SET, OR DID NOT KNOW ABOUT, FACEBOOK’S PRIVACY TOOLS, SUCH AS BLOCKING APPLICATIONS AND CONTROLLING WHO SEES THEIR PROFILE. Consumer Reports, 2012 lyst.com Lyst combines the best of social and shopping. Follow your favorite designers and bloggers and add the products you like to your personal “lyst.” Pinterest junkie? Link your account and the items you’ve pinned will also land on your lyst. When any of your items go on sale, you’ll get an QR alert! Go to www.lyst.com and sign up for future shopping bliss. barcode dailyworth.com scans have increased From impulse buying to saving for retirement to testimonials of entrepre- 157% in the past year. neurial success, Daily Worth provides ongoing tips to help women manage Scanlife 2012 money effectively. Their daily financial advice is definitely worth it! Learn more at www.dailyworth.com. FALL 2012 LIFE WITH TEENS   7
  • 10. CAREER TRACK WHY STUDY STEM? B Y R A N DI M A Z Z E L L A ebekah Fraser, founder of the website Real World STEM (www.realworldstem. com), recalls an intense discussion she overheard between her middle school daughter and several friends about para- sitic mites that live on human eyelashes. Fraser was amazed that the girls were so knowledgeable about these creatures. She remarked, “I had no idea you girls were so interested in science!” Her daughter laughed and said, “Ugh! No, I hate science,” and her friend added, “Yeah, it’s so boring!” Fraser says, “The girls had a complete disconnect to the fact that while they may not like their science classes at school, they were fascinated and excited by scientific concepts.” Fraser’s daughter and her friends are not alone in their thinking that subjects like math and science can be dull, difficult, and have no relevant application in their everyday lives. Students may even question if there is a need to learn these concepts at all. But a solid foundation in STEM (the acronym com- monly used for Science, Technology, Engineering, and at the University of Pennsylvania School of Engineering & Mathematics) education will provide today’s teens with Applied Science, which provides a number of teen summer the foundation for a wide range of exciting and lucrative programs says, “The study of engineering teaches students careers in the future. valuable skills such as problem solving, teamwork, and criti- cal thinking. These skills are transferable to a wide array Who should study STEM? of careers including but not limited to actually being an A solid foundation in STEM education is important engineer.” for all students. Judith Hallinen, an educator at Carn- Some students may feel they just aren’t math or science egie Mellon University says, “There is a misconception students and want to opt out these subjects. Joyce Plotkin, amongst some educators that STEM-related studies are founder and chair of the DIGITS Project, a STEM educa- meant for elite students.” David Cedrone, Executive tion program, says, “Yes, math and science can be difficult Director, Governor’s STEM Advisory Council of Massa- but that doesn’t mean kids should give up; it means they chusetts adds, “STEM education is necessary at all levels should be encouraged to ask for help.” Parents can help too from high school to vocational school to PhD programs.” by urging their child not to give up on subjects they find Teens and their parents may think there is no need challenging. to study engineering or technology beyond their typi- To increase teen interest in STEM subjects, Fraser says, cal science and math classes, unless they want a career “Educators need to illustrate how these subjects are relevant in these fields. However, Megan Doherty, Associate to their students ’ lives and find creative, interesting ways to Director, International and Service Learning Programs teach these concepts so that kids want to learn more.” 8  LIFE WITH TEENS  FALL 2012
  • 11. What is a STEM career? cation can open many doors for stu- has shrunk to about 15 percent.” Christianne Corbett, a senior dents. (See page 10 for more details.) President Obama has been very researcher at the American As- Corbett highlights careers in vocal on the need for STEM-based sociation of University Women, biomedical research, environmental education and the importance that adds, “There is a misconception engineering, software engineers, and STEM-based careers will have on the that having STEM a career means network systems and data communica- future of the United States. The U.S. working alone in a white lab coat tion as “hot” STEM careers for the Department of Commerce’s Econom- or that the only jobs in technology next decade. ics and Statistics Administration are writing code.” The reality is (ESA) released a report in 2011 that that there are many different and Why pursue a STEM profiled U.S. employment in STEM exciting STEM careers. career? fields. The report showed that over Broadening public awareness According to Rodney C. Adkins, the past 10 years, growth in STEM of the many STEM opportunities senior vice president of IBM’s Systems jobs was three times greater than that available in the workplace is the & Technology Group, “It is clear that of non-STEM jobs, and STEM jobs goal of the Massachusetts based to benefit our economy and society, our are expected to continue to grow at WOW campaign. The campaign national priority should be on encour- a faster rate than other jobs in the highlights the careers of fifteen aging more students to study STEM. coming decade. In addition, STEM very different individuals including Unfortunately, the U.S. is trending in workers command a higher earning a video game designer, a meteo- the opposite direction. When I gradu- potential. They will earn 26 percent rologist, and a baseball statistician. ated from college, about 40 percent more than their non-STEM counter- The objective of the campaign of the world’s scientists and engineers parts and are also less likely to experi- truly illustrates how a STEM edu- resided in the U.S. Today that number ence unemployment. How parents can foster an interest in STEM Encourage students to take as many math and Eliminate negative learning myths. science classes as they possibly can in high school. Well-intended parental statements such as “I was never The key is for students to have a good foundation in good at math and I turned out fine” send students the these subjects so that they can continue to build wrong message. Instead parents should encourage their knowledge at a higher level of learning. Even if they child to take classes that may be difficult—and emphasize don’t think they want a career in engineering or math- learning as a goal instead of always getting “the A.” Try ematics now, their career goals may change in the positive reinforcement with statements like, “I believe in future. Without basic knowledge of STEM subjects, your abilities. I am proud of you for working so hard at their potential for growth may be limited. something so challenging.” Encourage students to pursue STEM subjects Instill in your child a “growth mindset” instead of a outside of the classroom. “fixed mindset.” Look into summer programs that offer fieldwork in Corbett explains that students with a fixed mindset STEM subjects and afterschool clubs such as FIRST believe their intelligence and talents are just fixed traits. robotics www.usfirst.org. FIRST robotics is a not-for- With a growth mindset students understand that their profit organization devoted to helping young people talents and abilities can be developed through effort, develop a passion for STEM subjects through hands- good teaching, and persistence. A growth mindset allows on robotics competitions. students to achieve much more because they believe they can. Sean Amos, rising freshman at Worcester Polytechnic Institute, says that FIRST strengthened his resolve to Be your own child’s role model. pursue a career in the STEM field of robotics. “It gave Rodney C. Adkins sums this up nicely, “My father me hands-on experience with designing, programming, encouraged me to deconstruct, analyze, and experiment and building—I loved it,” Amos remarks. with our home appliances. The insight I gained into how things work together opened my eyes to new Treat girls and boys as equals in the world of learning. possibilities and instilled in me a desire to create Eliminate the idea that a career is just for boys or just new technologies.” for girls. Instead encourage all children to follow their passion. FALL 2012 LIFE WITH TEENS   9
  • 12. Meet the WOWsters Fifteen people with diverse occupations are spotlighted in the WOW Campaign, an initiative of the Massachusetts Governor’s STEM Advisory Council. Joyce Plotkin, Council Executive Committee Member and Co-Chair of the Public Awareness Committee that created the WOW Campaign, says, “This initiative is about identifying and shining a spotlight on professionals who exemplify the WOW of STEM. They are wonderful role models for our young people and they show the exciting work that STEM professionals do. My hope is that every state in the country will do a similar local campaign.” Here are some of the “WOWsters” featured in the 2012 campaign: Bill James is a statistician for Jim Toepel enjoys working the Boston Red Sox. James pro- on the cutting edge of technol- vides senior management with ogy as a video game designer. research analysis on special He is currently on the software projects and player contracts. development team at Harmo- He has been writing about nix Music Systems where he is baseball since 1975 and is the creating brand new experiences author of more than 30 books. for gamers. Mish Michaels is a meteorologist. Mikell Taylor is a Robotics Michaels has a Masters in Educa- Engineer who participated on tion with a concentration in Tech- the FIRST robotics team at her nology and a B.S. in Meteorology/ all-girls high school. Mikell cur- Atmospheric Science. Michaels rently works for Bluefin Robotics has worked on several weather Corporation, a company that programs including WBZ-TV builds and designs underwater in Boston and The Weather robots. Channel’s Atmospheres. Anna Mracek Dietrich is the Daniel Pratt is a real life CSI. Co-founder of Terrafugia, Inc., a With a B.S. in biology, he collects, company which is developing the preserves, and analyzes physi- Transition® Roadable Light Sport cal evidence and supervises the Aircraft—the first real-life “flying Crime Scene Response Unit for car”. Anna was named one of the the Massachusetts State Police. Boston area’s top 15 Innovators by the Boston Globe in 2010. Catherine Reyes was born and Andrew J. Jackson is currently raised in Columbia, and came to a chemist at Cubist Pharmaceu- the United States in 2000 as a tenth ticals. Jackson’s story reminds grade student. Reyes participated students that although math and in the school science fair and science may be challenging, to received an honorable mention, stick with it. To get to where he which sparked her enthusiasm is today, Jackson enrolled in a for science. Reyes attended the community college first where he University of Massachusetts and found a mentor in his chemistry has received a full scholarship to professor. Jackson then received Harvard Medical School where she a degree in general chemistry is currently a third year student at the University of California, pursuing family medicine. San Diego. For more information on the WOW campaign, or to order a poster or see the video, go to www.mass.edu. 10  LIFE WITH TEENS  FALL 2012
  • 13. Large corporations such as IBM are jumping on board as well, with strong initiatives in new grade 9-to-14 schools that focus on STEM educa- tion. These schools pair students with corporate mentors, who provide real- world insight into industry trends. Students graduate with an Associate’s Degree and the skills needed to transition directly into jobs in the information technology industry. Other STEM initiatives include organizations like CityScience (www.cityscience.org) in New York. CityScience coordinates service-learn- ing projects that employ and engage students with STEM professionals. Together students and profession- als tackle real world challenges in a students’ community. In CityScience programs, for example, high school students have studied the biodiversity of urban forests and used Geographic Information Systems (GIS) to model topography. Teens in Tech Labs (www.teensintech.com) provides tools and resources that bring youth and technology together—and inspire young people to become early product entrepreneurs. building toys and video games than to promote girls and STEM. Their Rebecca Blank, Acting U.S. Com- their female peers, it is debatable DigiGirlz Program teaches high merce Secretary adds, “Students who whether this is a result of a natural school girls about careers in technol- pursue jobs in science, technology, inclination or a reinforced behav- ogy and provides hands-on computer engineering, and math are the next ior based on societal stereotypes. and technology workshops. generation of creative entrepreneurs Corbett says, “Girls tend to under- There is also a disparity in terms who will make sure we have the best, estimate their abilities in STEM of fostering STEM education among most skilled workers in the world so subjects. But in fact, girls are just as minorities. According to Adkins, of that the jobs and industries of tomor- successful.” school-age children today, 43 percent row take root right here in America.” When it comes to career choices, are of African American, Latino, or Corbett points out that women tend Native American descent. Yet of all Encouraging Girls and to be more concerned with making a the engineering bachelor’s degrees Minorities to Study STEM social contribution to the world versus in the U.S., less than 15 percent It is imperative that educa- men whose career choices are more are awarded to underrepresented tors encourage girls and minority likely to be motivated by social recog- minorities. We need to reconcile students to study and pursue STEM nition and/or compensation. Corbett these opposing trends so that the careers early on. says, “The social contribution of a composition of our STEM education There are several reasons why STEM-related career may not be as pipeline reflects America’s shifting girls may shy away from STEM obvious. But STEM careers can have demographics. studies and STEM careers. Corbett a very positive effect on the world, STEM education is paramount explains, “Some STEM disciplines such as creating more drinkable water for all students. A background rich have long been viewed as ‘male do- or finding a cure for a disease.” in STEM makes for flexible, logical mains.’” But while little boys Large corporations like Micro- minds, and increases the capacity for typically gravitate more toward soft are jumping on the bandwagon all youth to continue learning. LWT FALL 2012 LIFE WITH TEENS   11
  • 15. SENSE MAKING COLLEGE More Affordable B Y M ARY M ICHAEL NIB LEY he cost of college can cause a serious case What Constitutes a Financial Aid Package of sticker shock. Luckily, there are ways Customized aid packages assembled by colleges and to make earning a four-year degree more universities can take many forms. They can consist of affordable. Some strategies take long-term government-sponsored grants and/or loans contingent advance preparation while others come into upon a family’s income and assets, work-study jobs, and play once the application process begins. Every parent, merit-based scholarships bestowed for accomplishments even ones with very young children, should keep this in (such as high GPAs, class rank, talent, athletic prowess, mind: it’s never too soon to start thinking about how to leadership, community service, and so on). Families can foot the college bill. get feedback on whether they qualify for need-based A married mother of two teens was pleasantly sur- financial aid by plugging some basic personal financial prised by the generous aid package offered by the college numbers into free online tools before tackling the gov- her eldest daughter will attend this fall. After her daugh- ernment’s required Free Application for Federal Student ter was accepted by Muhlenberg College in Allentown, Aid (FAFSA). Government websites have a wealth of PA, and also several other universities, she worked closely reliable information (See www.studentaid.ed.gov). with financial aid officers to decipher what was the best Sites sponsored by the College Board (www.college- financial scenario at each school. She was surprised to board.org) as well as individual colleges and universities discover how schools compete over financial assistance. are also extremely helpful. “Anybody on the fence about “Muhlenberg’s offer beat the others and their finan- seeking financial aid should pursue it,” advises Cristin cial aid staff was terrific to deal with,” the mother said. Viebranz, college counselor, at University School of Muhlenberg College’s “list” price—i.e., full cost without Nashville. any aid—is about $54,000, which includes tuition, room That’s especially important in light of the soaring and board, and some miscellaneous expenses. But through cost of college. Department of Education statistics report a combination of need-based grants, merit scholarships that between 2000 and 2010, the cost of tuition, room and to recognize her daughter’s musical theater talents, board—not to mention textbooks, supplies, and ancillary subsidized loans, and a work-study job, the tab to attend fees—rose 37 percent at public institutions and 25 percent Muhlenberg will be significantly less than the cost of at private schools, after adjustment for inflation. sending her daughter to a larger state institution—another Private calculations are even higher, with many school at which she was accepted, at a price of roughly economists estimating college costs running at about 2.5 $24,000 a year for New Jersey residents. times the inflation rate. The cost of earning a degree at a FALL 2012 LIFE WITH TEENS   13
  • 16. private, four-year college is estimated options and providers,” explains Jeff FINANCIAL AID to be $200,000. Weiner, Senior Vice President for COMES FROM CCO Investment Services. MANY SOURCES Build Relationships with According to White, these ap- Prospective Colleges proaches are preferable to borrowing 74% Viebranz also recommends through government-sponsored financial utilizing the expertise of financial aid programs that have relatively high aid offices at prospective colleges. By interest rates. Rates on home equity establishing a relationship with the loans currently hover in the 3% range financial aid staff, families can have while taking out an unsubsidized loan Federal government in-depth discussions about their in- through the government’s Stafford Loan grants, loans and dividual needs. And the relationship program, for example, has a far steeper other aid should not end once a student selects rate of 6.8%. Rates on PLUS loans, a school and submits paperwork seek- another government education financing 17% ing financial aid. Sometimes financial tool, are even higher—7.9%. aid packages can be adjusted if a family’s circumstances have changed Money Saving Strategies for since the original aid application was Receiving Financial Aid submitted. “Every year I see unique Stephanie Welder, a private coun- College grants/ situations,” Viebranz notes. selor and founder of Access College and scholarships Scott White, director of guidance Career Consultants, reminds parents at Montclair High School, Montclair, that there are things high school stu- NJ, believes the most affordable way dents can do before the college applica- to finance college is to save over time by using 529 accounts or by borrow- ing against a secure asset, such as a tion process begins that will increase the odds of getting some form of financial assistance. Students should be active 5% home equity loan or a pension loan. in the community and seek volunteer State government Named for a section of the Internal opportunities. They should maintain grants/scholarships Revenue Service Code, 529 accounts the highest possible grades and take the are education savings plans. most rigorous course loads possible. “A 529 plan qualifies for federally These factors can be a plus when tax exempt investment growth and, in some cases, additional state tax breaks. Other benefits include profes- applying for non-need based scholarships and grants. They can also help students stand out among their peers and attract 4% sionally managed investment portfo- the attention of community organiza- lios, parental control, and flexibility to tions that provide scholarship funds to Private and choose from a variety of investment deserving individuals. employer grants/ scholarships Be sure to take advantage of federal and college-provided funds, which add up to about 90% of all aid. • Nearly half of four-year college students attend a college with a sticker price of less than $9,936 a year—and thanks to financial aid, most of them pay even less than that.* • More than 6 out of 10 college students receive some sort of financial aid. The average student received a little over $12,400 last year to help pay for college. • The federal government last year awarded more than $132 billion in grants, work-study funds, and low-interest loans. Note: All statistics refer to undergraduate students. *Accounts for nonprofit colleges only. Sources: The College Board’s Trends in Student Aid 2011 and Trends in College Pricing 2011 reports. 14  LIFE WITH TEENS  FALL 2012
  • 17. In some cases it’s possible for EarthConnect: A Costa Rican Adventure high school juniors and seniors to earn credits by taking courses at community colleges, which might Summer Program shorten the time needed to re- main in a four-year institution and thereby lower the price. Performing well on Advance Placement (AP) and International Baccalaureate (IB) tests can also earn students for Teens ‘‘ college credit. Another money-saving ap- Story after story came… proach is a bit more radical—and may not appeal to students who are Spy hopping with the eager for the full college experi- dolphins, kayaking in ence. It involves having students enroll in comparatively inexpensive, mangroves, meeting local, two-year community colleges locals and traveling by after high school and then transfer to a four-year school to complete a bus. What became clear bachelor’s degree program. to me was how much Given that for many profes- sions, employers want job applicants Sam enjoyed being with to have post-graduate degrees, the authentic people from a importance of where and how the undergraduate degree was accom- foreign culture. When I plished is less important. When asked him “Was it what considering this approach, check whether the four-year institutions you thought it would will accept the community-college be?” His response was credits where students hope to eventually go. “Better, by far!” He According to the New Jersey was proud of the work mom, one of the best pieces of advice she has heard about coping he accomplished and all with college admissions came from a that he learned. He got high school guidance counselor. The counselor always advises students more out of the program than I could have ’’ and families to include a “financial safety school” in the list of places to apply. It should be a school that possibly expected. the student would actually want to —EarthConnect 2011 Parent attend but is more affordable than other first-choice schools. For every family, finding a way to finance college that fits indi- Chill Expeditions vidual goals and needs will involve research and detailed discussions. Costa Rican Adventures Experiential Learning Adventures Since 1995 Welder offered this advice: “The most important thing to remember 800.551.7887 Toll Free when applying for aid of any kind requests@costaricanadventures.com is that there are deadlines and every source of funds has a different cut- www.costaricanadventures.com off point.” LWT FALL 2012 LIFE WITH TEENS   15
  • 18. INTERVIEW WITH A COLLEGE FINANCIAL AID OFFICER TeenLife Intern Caroline Metcalf-Vera interviews her mother Melissa Metcalf, Associate Director of Financial Aid at Boston College. Q: How do parents and students apply for financial aid? Q: What are the financial aid deadlines? A: Families must complete a Free Application for Federal A: Deadlines can vary at each school, depending on Student Aid (FAFSA), a College Scholarship Services whether you are applying through admissions as (CSS) Profile, and often submit a recently-signed copy “early action”, “early decision”, or “regular decision”. of an IRS federal tax return (complete with schedules Most deadlines begin in November. These deadlines and W2s) for both parents and students. Many institu- are critical to the overall amount of aid you receive. tions require their own forms as well. Q: If parents are separated or divorced, do they both Q: Is financial aid based on merit or need? need to submit financial aid documents? A: Financial aid can be based on merit, need, or a A: For institutions awarding federal student aid only, combination of both, depending on the school to the custodial parent needs to submit the FAFSA and which you apply. Merit-based aid takes a student’s tax information for the custodial family. academic or athletic achievements, special talents, or demographic characteristics into account. Need- For institutions awarding their own money, most based aid is the difference between the cost of atten- colleges and universities require information from dance (COA) of that school and the estimated family both parents. Need-based aid is based on the princi- contribution (EFC) determined for that year. The EFC ple that both parents are responsible for paying for is determined through using standard federal and the cost of education. The custodial family should fill institutional formulas. Every school differs in the way out the FAFSA and CSS Profile and the non-custodi- they award a student’s financial aid package so asking al parent should fill out the Non-Custodial Parent questions and understanding the process for each CSS Profile Statement. institution is important. Most schools will consider waiving the non-custodial Q: Will a student’s chances of acceptance be requirement with documentation of special circum- diminished if they apply for aid? stances. Unwillingness is not usually a reason for waiving the requirement. A: Not always, some schools have a “need blind” admis- sions policy, which means that the admissions office evaluates each student’s academic credentials without knowledge of a family’s financial circumstances. Again, it can vary from school to school. Q: Do families need to apply every year? Will the financial aid be the same over the four years attend the college? A: Yes, students who wish to be considered for financial aid must apply each year. Need-based financial aid awards are based on demonstrated financial need; therefore your need may change from year to year. Significant changes such as increases or decreases in parent or student income, assets, tax liability, family size, or number of students attending college may impact your overall eligibility for financial aid. Your financial aid award will change accordingly. 16  LIFE WITH TEENS  FALL 2012
  • 19. CONNECT Putting Teens to the Test A Well-Rounded Approach to SAT & ACT Prep BY K IM BERLY WO LF, M.E D. n a time when the admissions process continues to 1. Put the test in perspective. While the SAT get more competitive and the economy acts as a con- or ACT can play a significant role in a student’s college stant reminder that being successful in the workforce application, standardized tests make up just one part of requires better preparation than ever, all aspects of the greater picture. As AcceptU’s Dr. Stephen Friedfeld, college admissions can create a great deal of pressure a former college admissions officer, notes, “Admissions is for parents and their college-bound teens. Because they a holistic process and all parts of the application will have are much-hyped, arduous, and in many cases, required, the some importance.” While more selective universities will SATs and ACTs are significant drivers of this anxiety. typically place more importance on scores in order to dif- The good news is that parents and students can employ ferentiate among many highly qualified applicants, Fried- a variety of tools and strategies to ease the process and feld continues, “Grades and rigor of curriculum are always make it more manageable and rewarding. Putting the test in the most important part of any application.” perspective, starting preparation early, identifying the best Colleges also take into account a teen’s essays, resources, scheduling the time to focus on practice, and extracurricular activities, and “leadership potential.” supporting healthy habits can help inspire the confidence, Remember test scores only tell colleges one part of an skill, and clarity needed to succeed. applicant’s story. FALL 2012 LIFE WITH TEENS   17
  • 20. 2. Start early. Sallie Oto, Director Start with the College Board (www. For instance, Huntington Learning of Tutoring Services for ArborBridge, collegeboard.org) and the ACT Centers (www.huntingtonlearn- notes that the students who perform (www.actstudent.org) websites to ing.com) use full-length practice well on exams are those who have gain a baseline understanding of the SAT exams to measure a student’s been studying for four to six months tests. Here, you can find descrip- progress. and “feel like the structure and con- tions of test length, question type, tent of the exam is ‘second nature.’” and format, as well as free full-length How experienced are your tutors? Beginning preparation at the end of practice tests, and tips for prepara- “Experienced tutors will know every sophomore year will give your teen tion. For the self-motivated student single question in the book of 10 enough lead time to gain a sufficient and families looking for the most Real SATs, as well as the ten offered level of comfort with test material. affordable quality course options, online,” Oto says. Whether your For an added bonus, “starting to plan these sites both offer online courses teen is taking the SAT, ACT, or and study early (and during the sum- for under $100. other standardized tests, make sure mer lull),” Oto says, “results in higher For added support, opt for a tra- prospective teachers have a deep scores and stress-free test-taking for ditional class, in-person tutoring, or and thorough understanding of the all upcoming exams that fall in junior virtual programs. Test prep compa- material. and senior year.” nies like The Princeton Review offer all three (www.princetonreview.com). How do you personalize your services? 3. Identify your resources. Of course, the options are many, Many SAT and ACT prep services When it comes to studying for but asking a few key questions will will take your teen’s aptitude, learn- standardized tests, look to free online help you identify the highest quality ing style, schedule, and even per- resources and paid services to help services that best fit your teen. sonality into account when matching produce desired scores. A huge indus- them to a course or tutor. Ask how try exists around SAT and ACT prep, Which teaching materials do you use? they assess new clients, what options which means that there are tools avail- Oto emphasizes that the best teach- they offer for scheduling, and if they able at a wide range of price points ers and tutors will work “primarily are tied to a location or able to con- that can be tailored to students with a with materials published by the test duct sessions virtually with the help variety of needs and learning styles. makers.” of Skype or similar programs. 18  LIFE WITH TEENS  FALL 2012
  • 21. 4. Schedule the time. bfa dual degree with tufts university According to Steve Elefson of studio art diploma Summit Education Group, “prep pre-college summer studio should continue right up to the target test date. We don’t want teens to make lots of progress over the summer and then do nothing until test day; instead, they should keep up the work during the school year.” Even if teens are starting prep months in advance, Elefson suggests planning for consistent weekly test practice right up to the school of exam. This can be easier said than the museum done for today’s over-scheduled of fine arts, teens, but studying late at night boston or over the weekends can help 230 The Fenway students get needed practice hours. Boston, MA 02115 “Some students aren’t ultra- to schedule a visit, call 617-369-3626 productive by 9:00 p.m. at night,” Elefson says, “but others find that a school for artists, by artists, since 1876 time works just fine.” If teens’ schedules don’t allow for weekly smfa.edu practice, it’s time to start making trade-offs. 5. Support healthy habits. In the days and even moments before an important test, proper nutrition and a good night’s sleep can give students’ performance an Give your teen the extra boost. Dr. Alan Greene of Stanford Children’s Hospital and www.DrGreene.com discourages consumption of sugars, caffeine, energy drinks, and processed white confidence they need. flours before tests. These can Alleyoop contribute to anxiety and inter- fere with sleep. Instead, he says, teens should “stock up on proteins, fruits, some grains” and “lots of fi- ber [which can] even out hormonal Academic Life Coaching Ten one-on-one sessions tailored to the individual student. Increase academic confidence and reduce swings.” To help teens get a good anxiety. Build personal confidence and self-awareness. Improve night’s sleep before the test, en- communications, relationships and leadership skills; for school, for life, courage exercise to help tire them for your child. out, and “keep living spaces cool and dark. This can affect serotonin Gina Halsted levels, which reduces anxiety, help- Academic Life Coach ing students sleep better.” gina@ALCteen.com Keeping all of these test-taking 781•258•9085 suggestions top-of-mind will lead www.ALCteen.com your teen to SAT and ACT suc- cess. LWT FALL 2012 LIFE WITH TEENS   19
  • 22. PARENTS & TEENS AND THE Social Media Gap The most important thing I realized as I researched this story about teens and social media is that the story is primarily about the parenting of adolescents. And yes, it’s also about social media. I was surprised to find myself thinking about social media-related questions differently than I’d imagined. by Sarah Buttenwieser 20  LIFE WITH TEENS  FALL 2012
  • 23. FALL 2012 LIFE WITH TEENS   21
  • 24. Except, I’m not a teenager; I’m a writer and a blog- ger. Engagement in social media has become a fun—but occasionally timewasting—part of my work. We all use social media to learn things and to connect with friends—and to do some goofing off, too. However active adults are online, though, it’s unclear to many of us whether our kids use these networks as we do. My daily computer habits differ greatly from my teens’. My more typical teenage user listens to Spotify (a digital music service) while he chats with three or four separate friends at the same time he is reading an article. My less typical teenage user, my second son, makes a beeline for the computer Wednesday afternoons when he gets home from school in order to read the New York Times food section online. He keeps up with food blogs more faithfully than he does friends. I flip back and forth between work and social media, generally not while listen- ing to music. While my son’s banter most often occurs on Facebook chat or through texting, mine is as likely to happen on Facebook or Twitter or (kind of old-fashioned) e-mail. THE AGE OF DIGITAL NATIVES Let’s face it: children like ours, the ones who grew up with chubby hands on a mouse, are part of the Internet Generation. These “digital natives” have almost constant access to the web. According to researchers on the Digital Natives project at the Berkman Center for Internet and Society at Harvard University, digital natives are defined “by their experience growing up immersed in digital technology, and the impact of this upon how they interact with information technolo- gies, information itself, one another, and other people and institutions.” As parents, the concept of raising digital natives is certainly not to be taken lightly. We must open a strong “digital dialogue” with our kids about both the positives and negatives of social media. have two teens. As a parent, I’m focused on rais- Texting is another issue that should be on parents’ ing healthy, independent young adults (and I hope minds. We are concerned that our children are texting too that we still like each other throughout the process)! much and not always appropriately. The research sup- Social media is a flashpoint that reveals my parent- ports this—teens are nearly sending 3,000 texts a month ing insecurities; my kids’ technological abilities are compared to about 200 minutes used to talk on the phone, fundamentally different than mine. Our journey requires according to the Nielsen Company survey in 2009. Send- some dialogue, some struggle, some trust, some wonder, ing sexually explicit messages or “sexting” often goes hand- and a good deal of my letting go. in-hand with texting. Only 12 percent of parents imagine Nearly half of all teenagers in the United States check these explicit and often illegal messages as a part of their their social media several times per day. Facebook trumps teen’s life, but 43 percent of teens report that they have Twitter for teens, with 68 percent reporting Facebook participated in sexting in a given week. as their main social networking site compared to just 6 From discretion about the photos teens send to Face- percent saying the same of Twitter. And Instagram and book banter that could be visible to college admissions offi- Pinterest creeping up. Now, by this calculation, I am cers in the future, this plugged-in generation must consider totally a teenager. their social activity across not only their teen years, but 22  LIFE WITH TEENS  FALL 2012
  • 25. also their entire adult lives. Issues like Steyer believes adults need to identity, privacy and safety, creativ- understand the huge impact that A Note from a Teen ity, piracy and intellectual property, the Internet has on our lives: “The and information overload will take up Internet is fundamental to the way “Growing up in the Digital greater prominence in our lives, and we all communicate and interact now. Age, teens are a part of a genera- tion of instant gratification—and be fodder for academic research, legal Teens are part of a generation that has keeping in contact 24/7 through resolution, and public policy. never known life without 24/7-access text and social media is a part of to any information in the world. It’s that. From my point of view, I find TEENAGERS’ SOCIAL changed the way teens communicate that Facebook, the leader in social MEDIA USE: THE SAME OR and there’s no going back.” media, is fading out and Twitter is beginning to take the front seat. It DIFFERENT FROM OURS? is easier for teens to interact with Parents of teens note that their DO PARENTS REALLY KNOW each other there. A new social teenagers’ social inclinations are HOW MUCH THEIR TEENS media haven is Instagram, which is mirrored by their social media use. ARE ONLINE? a blog of your pictures. Together One friend of mine, a parent to three It’s surprising to discover how Twitter and Instagram seem to be taking the place of Facebook. teens and a tween, says, “The more parents’ perceptions of their teens’ social my kids are, the more they use Internet use diverges from teens’ Personally, I don’t know where Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. My actual use. Parents think teens are way I would be without social media. eldest, who just turned 19, goes to the less engaged online than they actu- Going into high school I moved most parties and he spends hours after ally are—by about two hours per day. three towns away from my best friend. Along with texting, social he finishes his homework chatting While parents think their kids spend media is how I stay connected with friends, Skyping, and messaging. about three hours a day online, kids with her and updated on her life. My husband and I think of that sort of report spending more like five. thing like our hour-long phone calls in A snapshot comes courtesy of one When discussing with my high school.” She puts those calls and recent study by the security company mom a way to set boundaries on my Internet access, we came to her son’s multifaceted communications McAfee. The study polled about 1,000 the conclusion that the best way in the same frame: “Even though we teenagers (13 to 17-year-olds) and to monitor my time on the Internet had seen someone all day, we still had 1,000 parents. It notes that there has and usage of social media was so much more to say.” been a sharp increase in the percent- for my mom to be my Facebook Another friend, whose son is 14, age of teens who lie to their parents friend, and follower on Twitter and Instagram. So even though notes, “All of his social media use about Internet use. Nearly 70 per- she isn’t monitoring my computer ebbs and flows depending on who he cent of teens admitted that they hid usage all the time, she can stay on is this week and who his friends are.” their full Internet use from parents, a top of my activity.” Through his social media use, she’s sharp rise from 45 percent since the very aware of the fact that the ground company completed the same survey beneath teens often seems to shift two years earlier. Pair teens’ lies or without warning. omissions with parents’ gullibility— Jim Steyer, CEO of Common nearly half of the parents surveyed Sense Media, reflects: “Social media reported that they are certain they is the place where kids are becom- know “everything” their kids are doing ing adults. Gender differences, hate online—and the gap between percep- speech, homophobia, and racism are all tion and reality is readily apparent. a part of teens’ lives.” We encounter Truthfully, parents don’t know these things as adults, and it is part of everything their kids do online, growing up to learn how to deal with because how could they? 53 percent these issues. Steyer continues, “The of teens report that they clear the difference in the digital world, how- browser history, and nearly half sim- ever, is the anonymity factor and the ply close or minimize windows when impulsive nature of mobile and online their parents walk into the room. communications. Social media has the About one-third hide or delete instant potential to exacerbate age-old anxiet- messages or videos. ies and rites of passage in ways that Cover-ups are not necessarily yesterday’s communications did not.” required: while about one-quarter of FALL 2012 LIFE WITH TEENS   23
  • 26. teens report lying, the same percent- age claim that they use computers their parents never check. That’s because most parents don’t seem ter- ribly worried about their kids’ online practices. 78 percent believe their kids are hanging out with friends online; about half of the parents surveyed think kids go to Facebook or its equivalent “daily.” About 25 percent of parents say they don’t have time to monitor their children’s Internet use. So, if we aren’t exactly in tune with the amount of time our kids spend online with social media, or they cover up their online activities, what should our strategy be? What is the best approach to getting closer to reality? TIPS TO MONITORING YOUR CHILD AND THINK ABOUT A SOFT Braun believes parents should SOCIAL MEDIA APPROACH TO PARENTING be reminded that “there are tools here 1. Set “no technology” zones. SOCIAL MEDIA that can change lives, because you can Designate the dinner table or Dr. Lynn Clark, a media studies ask questions and find answers. Being family events as places where expert, did interview-based research able to access information that can help cell phones and technology are off limits. with teens and parents focused on the you to grow is a pretty amazing thing.” topics of digital and mobile media use Applying strict rules for social media 2. Embrace technology. Become your child’s friend for her forthcoming book, The Par- use is not always the answer. on Facebook and follow them ent App: Understanding Families in a One parent, totally on top of on Twitter and Instagram. It’s Digital Age. She makes some valuable social media for her own work, says easier to observe their activity points: her relatively newfound expertise and stay connected personally. Parents must be well informed about required a sharp learning curve, and 3. Know your child’s passwords. social media. she wonders how people who are It’s perfectly reasonable to check your teen’s social media Dr. Clark recommends parents not versed in social media can make use, even text messages be well informed about social media appropriate guidelines for teens. It occasionally. Just make sure in general in order to be both credible goes beyond monitoring their use you’re monitoring, not and capable of asking good questions. or imposing rules; it requires time snooping. Librarian Linda Braun, who navigating and using social content 4. Configure privacy settings. describes herself as formerly “anti- themselves on a regular basis. Teach your child how to computer” hopped on the bandwagon “Experts who came to my kids’ establish privacy settings. Social media posts should once she noticed teens using the high school suggested rather strict only be shared with close library’s old computers. She realized rules that were totally unrealistic,” she family and friends. that she needed to become social adds. “From what I can see, parents 5. Discuss the rules of the media savvy. Braun says she believes and even experts often don’t interact Internet. Remind your teen parents are afraid in many ways, via the Internet to their own profes- that whatever they share including many who are harboring a sional or personal networks beyond online can be used against them down the line. Colleges fear that their teens know more about email and links to static websites. and future employers may technology than they do. The only That renders them social media eventually look them up. solution, she believes, is to do some illiterate. It is no surprise that the learning. rules that parents lay down are so 24  LIFE WITH TEENS  FALL 2012
  • 27. easily circumvented.” received were all about not talking everyday lives. Social media is not only She continues, “I opted for a to strangers. Most bullying, most just changing our relationships, but it different tactic; attempting to foster inappropriate behavior for that matter is also changing the way teens access good habits and awareness of what an doesn’t occur online from strangers, information in very positive ways. online community means. It seemed however. Bullying isn’t better if the Teens Build Relationships through a much smarter preparation for adult people bullying are friends or people Social Media life than simply imposing rules my you’re acquainted with, but all these The original purpose of social me- kids could wiggle around.” worries about some far-off threat, dia can get lost with all the different Develop a strategy around dialogue it’s just not the concerning issue,” features it has to offer. However, the and trust. she says. “I think it’s easy to blame most important feature—connecting Rather than a demand to be technology for what are really societal and maintaining relationships—is still friends on Facebook, Dr. Clark issues, like bullying. What’s on the evident for teens. A Common Sense believes that “Many parents seem to Internet is really no different from Media report based on surveys over a have better success when they ask anything offline.” one-month period (February to March their teen for a Facebook tour every 2011) to 1,030 teens aged 13-17 years, once in a while, or ask a game player says that the single largest effect teens to teach them how to play a favorite report (29 percent) is that social media game.” She continues, “Ask your Rather than a demand makes them feel less shy. teen to show you a favorite YouTube to be friends on Facebook, Half of teens report that social video. The reason is that each of these Dr. Clark believes that networking helps their relationships, actions allows parents to demonstrate “Many parents seem to have especially friendships with people concern and interest and to learn better success when they ask they can’t see on a regular basis. Teens about their teen’s world.” This easily believe social media helps them get to opens up dialogue and trust. their teen for a Facebook know schoolmates better and to con- Don’t blame the Internet for lack of tour every once in a while, nect with new people joined together privacy—educate yourself. or ask a game player to around a shared interest. In a New York Times article, an- teach them how to play While most social media use is thropologist and professor Dr. Danah a favorite game. positive, it is also worth noting that Boyd frames adults’ fears about the teens also report strife: one-third of Internet as just another example of the those questioned say they’ve argued current era’s anxiety-fueled helicopter So Braun’s advice to parents is with friends online; one-fifth say parenting. She asserts that the world pretty simple: it’s to be “willing to they’ve lost friendships; under 10 isn’t nearly so dangerous as people talk—and to listen—about every- percent have feared for their safety fear, and says normal teenage “hang- thing.” She suggests parents have a or gotten into physical fights over ing out” has just moved online. real conversation with their teen, and something that happened online. One- In the article, she explains, “We realize that the work isn’t to teach quarter of teens reported that they got need to give kids the freedom to them so much as to learn from them. into trouble in school due to online explore and experience things online Then, she says, offer information and incidents. For all of this online en- that might actually help them. What suggestions on very specific issues. gagement though, about half of teens scares me is that we don’t want to look “Rather than try to teach them about questioned say social media comes in at the things that make us uncomfort- privacy, what parents can and should second to face-to-face conversation. able. So rather than see what teenagers be on top of are things like Facebook’s Impact in the classroom. are showing us online about bullying privacy settings, which require updat- Social media is enhancing and suicide and the problems they’re ing practically every week. Make sure communication between educators dealing with and using that infor- your kids know how to update the set- and parents. From classroom and mation to help them, we’re making tings. They are generally really open homework blogs to parent portals, ourselves blind to it.” to changing them.” educators have begun to use tech- Braun thinks that parental fear nologies so parents can be actively of strangers (bullies and pedophiles) NEW MEDIA AS A involved in their children’s education. reaching their children online is really USEFUL TOOL Dr. Clark confirms, “Social and just the same as their fears offline. “It’s As parents, we also need to be mobile media are transforming really just like fears other genera- reminded that social media can be a learning spaces today. There are tions had when the warnings children good and practical tool in our teens’ exciting ways that some educators FALL 2012 LIFE WITH TEENS   25
  • 28. are incorporating game design, social media, and data analysis into their cur- riculum.” She observes that parental buy-in is easier when the learning value is clear. For educators, Twitter may serve as a useful tool to assist with role-play- ing activities and to support develop- ment of concise storytelling skills. Interviews with lecturers via Twitter or students’ tweeting during lectures to encourage commentary in real-time about the lecture are becoming some of the newer classroom modalities. Some educators create a Facebook page—or have their students do so—about a curriculum topic such as theorems or literary characters. As Calvin Stowell, Social Media Strategist for DoSomething.org notes, “Teens are super passionate, whether it be about a brand they care about or say they have talked with a partner their families, and their friends. a cause. Social media was born as a about safer sex and a quarter who Around 40 percent of teens agree— means to communicate those passions, report having visited a doctor or other somewhat strongly—that they’d and because of that it’s not only easy, health provider or gotten tested for like to unplug briefly. Although it’s but also rewarding to engage with HIV or other STDs did so because of common for parents to wish that their teens positively. It’s all about meeting the campaign. 28 percent of respon- teens would detach from their devices, a teen where they are and listening to dents under 18 reported that due to 21 percent of teens wish their parents what they have to say, not just telling the campaign, they had a conversation spoke less on cell phones or were them what we think.” Taking this per- with a parent or other adult regarding less frequently attached to electronic spective on teens into the classroom, a sexual health issue. devices, too. many educators successfully boost Social media allows teens to It’s probably no surprise that student engagement, and fun. foster change. many teens are uncertain about the Teens use the Internet and social Social media has the capacity to impact of social media upon their lives, media to gather information. give teenagers a powerful platform, positive or negative; they have little Take sex: teens go to the Internet one that might be harder to find with- or no comparison to previous genera- for information about sexuality. 36 out it. This past spring, 14 year-old tions. However, it is clear that teens percent report that they have looked Julia Bluhm took to the Internet with are surrounded by social media and up information on STDs and preg- a petition drive aimed at glossy maga- technology that allows them to stay in nancy. A collaborative initiative of the zines’ unrealistic depictions of teen contact with friends 24/7, and this is Kaiser Family Foundation and MTV girls’ bodies. She lobbied for Seventeen unlikely to change any time soon. attempts to reach young people with Magazine to publish at least one image While parents should set bound- information on pregnancy prevention each issue that isn’t airbrushed. Three aries that are appropriate for their and STDs. The partnership grew from months and about 84,000 signatures teens, it’s more important that they a realization that the Internet could later, the magazine has agreed to be communicate with their children serve as a safe, judgment-free, go-to more transparent about its images and about the positives and negatives of place for factual information young has launched what it calls the Body social media use. Of course, Face- people want and need. Peace Project. book and Twitter have changed the The initiative’s recent survey of way people communicate with one 500 teens reveals that nearly half of TAKE TIME TO UNPLUG another, but the basics of parenting the respondents reported behavior It’s also worth noting that teens remain the same—stay informed and changes that they credited to the recognize an increasing reliance upon involved in your teen’s life, but give partnerships’ efforts. Nearly half who electronic gadgets for themselves, them room to grow up too. LWT 26  LIFE WITH TEENS  FALL 2012
  • 29. VOLUNTEER SPOTLIGHT Does Your Teen “Do Something”? BY LESLI AM OS ith its Celebrity sponsorhips, social media, and a mission statement that declares, “We love teens,” DoSomething.org’s edgy vibe and teen-targeted initiatives empower teens to take action. Founded in 1993 by Melrose Place actor Andrew Shue, DoSomething.org’s innovative campaigns allow teens and young adults up to the age of 25 to do service work in areas they are passionate about. In 2003, Nancy Lublin became CEO (affectionately referred to as “Chief Old Person”) and moved the organization online after recognizing that teens are extremely Internet and tech savvy: surfing the web and texting is where teens connect. Today, DoSomething.org champions their causes by texting more than 500,000 teen members on a regular basis. Ben Flajnik Dave DeLuca, the Head of Campaigns for the orga- from ABC’s nization, comments, “Teens are wired, and so are we. We The Bachelor in work hard to create engaging content on social media. In a Times Square Aeropostale store fact, we’re finishing up our first successful Facebook ‘cause this year. campaign,’ The Bully Project, where over 120,000 teens took a survey encompassing the state of the problem in their schools and lobbied to host the documentary Speak Up in the site, search the “action finder” for opportunities, and their school.” The survey results have yet to be published. specify a particular time commitment—literally ranging And while taking the survey may seem like a somewhat from one minute to one year. Teens can also find their small contribution, DoSomething.org reminds students that passion in any one of eleven categories, including bully- every bit of activism counts. “People always believe that you ing, the environment, human rights, and so forth, based have to become a hardcore activist to make change,” DeLuca on their specific service interest. notes. “And while those people are amazing and make a huge Of course, parental guidance is an important impact, small things can make a difference as well.” component of raising goal-oriented teens, but when Lending to its success, DoSomething.org makes teen it comes to actually participating at the ground level, participation extraordinarily easy. Teens can simply go to DoSomething.org motivates teens to take over the reins. Parents need “to believe in their kid, trust them—and get out of their way,” says Deluca. That is not to say parents Help teens get involved and influential adults shouldn’t point them in the right with DoSomething.org direction—look at how their teen can become a member Encourage teens and their friends to: of DoSomething.org, or peruse the many grants or scholarships available. • Become a member Another part of DoSomething.org’s appeal is the • Sign up for a current campaign celebrity factor. Many young actors and musicians • Start a club support DoSomething.org’s viral creativity. A recent • Apply for scholarships campaign against texting and driving, Thumb Wars, was FALL 2012 LIFE WITH TEENS   27