Different styles of Communication and Presenting

1. Different styles of
Communication and
Presenting
By : Sandeep Gupta
HR & Compliance
M/s Telegence Powercomm Pvt.Ltd.

2. Passive Communication
• Allowing our own rights to be violated by failing to
express our honest feelings, ideas or preferences.
• The goal of being a passive communicator is to
avoid conflict no matter what and please people at
all costs
• Very safe-Little risk is involved
• Little eye contact, timid body language
• May suddenly explode after being passive after long

3. Examples of passive communication
• “I don’t know.”
• “Whatever you think.”
• “Maybe”
• “I will go with whatever the group decides.”
• “Yes, yes”
• “I am okay with anything”
• “It doesn’t matter to me”

4. What can happen if we are passive
most often??
If we don’t know how
to be assertive we might
experience:
• Depression. From anger
turned inward, a sense of
being helpless, hopeless,
with no control over your
life.
• Resentment. Anger at
others for manipulating or
taking advantage of you.
• Frustration. How could I be
so spineless? Why did I let
someone victimize me?

5. Where does passive behavior come from?
• Many of us are taught that
we should please and/or
defer to others, or that we
shouldn’t “make waves”,
• That if someone says or
does something that we
don’t like, we should just
be quiet and try to stay
away from that person in
the future.

6. Aggressive Communication
• Protecting ones own rights at the expense of others rights
• The goal is to win at all costs; to be always right
• The cost is often damaged relationships but they would not care
less!
• Intimidating and angry eye contact, lots of energy, loud and
belittling tone of voice, can also be violent and abusive at times
• Extremely controlling

7. Examples of aggressive communication
• “I don’t know why you cant
see that this is the right way
to do it.”
• “It is going to be my way or
not at all!”
• “You are just stupid if you
think that will work!”
• “Who cares about what you
feel. We are talking about
making things work here.”

8. Passive-aggressive behavior
• The goal of this style is to appear to avoid conflict and
also make others think they seen things your way.
• Behaves passively to peoples face, then aggressively
when they are not around.
• Often use sarcasm
• This behavior breaks trust and confuses people around

9. Example of passive-aggressive behavior
• “I hear what you’re saying, and wouldn’t want to make waves, so I
will do what you say even though someone will probably get sued.”
• “Your ideas are good. People cant even make out they are stolen
from somewhere!!”

10. THE MOST EFFECTIVE STYLE OF
COMMUNICATING IS….ASSERTIVE
STYLE.

11. What is Assertiveness?
It is the ability to honestly
express your opinions,
feelings, attitudes, and rights,
with confidence, in a way that
doesn’t infringe on the rights of
others.
Assertiveness style is the
healthiest since boundaries of
all parties is respected

12. Assertiveness:
 Is not aggressiveness, it’s a
balance between respecting
your own rights and also
rights of others.
 Assertiveness focuses on
problem solving and is the
most reasonable and
objective approach
 It’s dependent on a feeling
of self-efficacy, a sense that
if you behave in a certain
way, something predictable
will occur.
 It focuses on bringing about
win-win results
 An assertive person has…
Confident body language,
good eye contact and
effective listening skills.

13. Statements used:
• “I think…I feel…I believe that…”
• “I would appreciate it if you…”
• “So what you are saying is…”

14. Selective Assertiveness
• It’s a lot easier being
assertive with a stranger
than with someone
important who might get
angry.
• The more important the
relationship, the more
important it is to be
assertive.
• Assertive behaviors lead to
increased respect from
others.

15. Three parts of assertive communication:
• Empathy/validation: Try to
say something that shows your
understanding of the other
person’s feelings. This shows
them that you are not trying to
pick a fight.
• From the example: “ I know
this will be a change for
you…”

16. Part 2: Statement of problem
• This piece describes your difficulty
/dissatisfaction, tells why you need
something to change.
• From the example: “Next time I feel
frustrated, I’m going to ask that we
stop and consider all the ideas.”

17. Part 3: Statement of what you want
• This is a specific request
for a specific change in
the other person’s
behavior.
• From the example: “I
know this is a change for
you but I know I’ll feel
better about myself if I
can tell you my ideas.”

18. How to be effectively assertive:
• Use assertive body language. Face
the other person, be sure you have
a pleasant but serious facial
expression, keep your voice calm
and soft.
• Use “I” statements. Keep the focus
on the problem you are having, not
on accusing or blaming the other
person. Example: : I’d like to be
able to speak without interruption.”
instead of “You’re always
interrupting me!”

19. How to be effectively assertive:
• Use facts, not judgments.
• Example: “Did you know
that shirt has some spots?”
instead of “You’re not going
out like that, are you?”
• Express ownership of your
thoughts.
• Example: “I get angry when
you break your promises.”
instead of “You make me
angry!”

20. How to be effectively assertive:
• Make clear direct
requests. Don’t invite the
person to say no.
• Example: “Will you
please…” instead of “Why
don’t you…”

21. Special techniques for difficult situations:
• Broken record: Keep repeating your
point, using a low level, pleasant
voice. Don’t get pulled into arguing or
trying to explain yourself.
• Fogging: This is a way to deflect
negative, manipulative criticism. You
agree with some of the fact, but
retain the right to choose your
behavior.

22. Special techniques for difficult situations:
• Content to Process Shift: This
means you stop talking about
the problem and you bring up,
instead, how the other person is
behaving RIGHT NOW. Use it
when someone is not listening or
trying to use humor to avoid the
issue.
• Example: “You’re getting off the
point and I am starting to feel
frustrated because I feel you are
not listening.”

23. Special techniques for difficult
situations:
• Defusing: Letting someone cool
down before discussing an issue.
• Example: “I can see that you are
upset, and I can even understand
part of your reaction. Let’s talk
about this later.”
• Summarization: This helps to make
sure you’re understanding the other
person.
• Example: “So what you’re trying to
tell me is….”
• Specificity: It’s really important to
be clear about what you want done.
Example: “The thing I really wish is
that you’d pick your clothes up off
the floor.”

24. Is assertiveness the
best way to go?
• Before you act
assertively, you have to
decide if you can live with
the consequences.
• Although assertive
behavior usually will
result in a positive
response, some people
might react negatively to
it.