Slides from the presentation given by organisational dynamics consultant Julie Hay at the IPA's Alliances Adaptathon on October 3rd 2013. Julie introduces a range of ideas, drawn from the world of psychotherapy but adapted for application in the workplace; including patterns of recognition and how these link to attitudes, relationship styles; contracting for co-operation and ending with a model for understanding our reactions to change. For more information visit http://www.ipa.co.uk/adapt.

1. Looking into the Iceberg
Professor Julie Hay

2. UK Ukraine

3. Keynote topics
recognition patterns and attitudes
personal styles, working styles
relationship styles
contracting – for win-win relationships
managing change

4. Donkey bridges
Alliteration, spell words etc to help recall
Misery is optional – you can change the words
Hay Health Warning!
Range of ideas
Make your own choices
Some now, some later?

5. Strokes
units of recognition
anything that
demonstrates aware of
other person
biological necessity

6. Positive or Negative
 inviting the recipient to feel okay
about themselves and others
 Includes constructive criticism
 inviting the recipient to feel not-
okay about themselves and/or
others
 Includes praise by comparison

7. Verbal Visual Touch
Intensity varies depending on content and context

8. Stroking patterns
take time to
establish
stressful when
change
filtered through
attitudes
Me
Pat
Chris
Lee
Suri
Kim
Lauren
New
agency
Previous
agency
Client

9. I’m not OK I’m OK
You’re OK You’re OK
I’m not OK I’m OK
You’re not OK You’re not OK
Windows on the World

10. Personal Styles - Wavelengths

11. Natural Child Adapted Child

12. Nurturing Parent Controlling Parent

13. Functional Adult

14. Personal Styles
Controlling Parent - firm
Nurturing Parent - encouraging
Functional Adult - problem solving
Adapted Child - courteous
Natural Child – friendly

15. Working styles
Seen as our strengths
5 of them
problems when overdone – ‘drivers’
stress generates more driver
we all know all but usually one or two
predominate

16. Hurry Up Be Perfect

17. Please People Be Strong

18. Try Hard

19. Working Styles
Hurry Up – quick but impatient
Be Perfect – accurate but pedantic
Please People – empathic but appeasing
Be Strong – calm but unfeeling
Try Hard –enthusiastic but butterfly mind

20. Relationship Styles
Pulling it together
Common combinations
Hay Health Warning again!!

21. AP3 The first 2 dimensions
active
people alone
passive

22. AP3 Channels of Communication
active
people alone
passive
Functional Adult –
Functional Adult
Natural Child –
Natural Child
Nurturing Parent –
Nurturing Parent
Controlling Parent
– Adapted Child

23. AP3 The 3rd Dimension
active
people alone
passive
patience
acceleration

24. AP3 Working Styles
active
people alone
passive
patience
acceleration
Please People
Hurry Up
Try Hard Be Strong
Be Perfect

25. AP3 Stroking Preferences
active
people alone
passive
patience
acceleration
Person
Productivity
Play Polite only
Performance

26. AP3 Relationship Styles
active
people alone
passive
patience
acceleration
Caring
Concise!
Connecting Controlling
Consulting

27. Contracting – levels of agreement
Procedural
Professional
Psychological

28. Multi-party contracts
Client Org
Agency Account Mgt
Procurement Marketing

29. Psychological distances
Marketing
Client
Old Agency
New Agency
Procurement
Agency

30. Psychological distances
Each needs to be
equilateral
Psychological level taken
into account

31. Managing Change
Does NOT need to involve grieving
Mirrors childhood growth – and issues
Opportunity for healthy development –
and resolution of old issues

32. Cycles of Development
Being
Exploring
Skills
Identity
Thinking
Integration

33. Spirals within spirals

34. Competence Curve
Immobilisation
Denial
Frustration
Acceptance
Development
Application
Completion
not to scale
Competence
Time

35. What is under the surface
strokes
windows on the world
personal styles
working styles
relationship styles
contracting
change as growth