1. Academic Writing
Lecture 3

2. Structure of this lecture
• Some practicalities
• Structuring your essay (Chapter 4)
• Paragraph requirements
• Collocations
• Revising (linking words and tentative
language)

3. Chapter 4
Drafting
Do task 2, p 130
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4. Plan
argumentative essay
Title: TV Can Be Good for You
TS: Television provides replacement voices that ease loneliness,
spark healthful laughter, and even educate young children.
A. Television eases loneliness.
1. TV: companion to elderly and reduces confusion and
depression (Bondevik and Skogstad, 1998) (Evidence 1: study )
2. TV reduces feelings of isolation and loneliness (New Zealand study
2005) (Evidence 2: study )
B. TV: positive effect on health
1. Effects of laughter on health (e.g. Griffith, 1996) (Background for claim
B)
2. Examples of comedy programmes (Evidence for comedy on TV)
3. Laughter inspired by TV as healthful as laughter by live
comedy (Laliberte, 2003) (Evidence 1: study )
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5. Essay plan
C. Television can educate children
1. Education television programmes: information at various
cognitive levels
a. Sesame Street : source of leaning (Illustration
supporting claim)
2. TV can inspire imaginative play  important for children’s
cognitive development (Thakkar et al. 2006) (Evidence : study )
D. Harm of TV
1. Violent + anti-social behaviour (e.g. Reeks, 2005) (Anticipation of
objection)
2. Children cannot develop language properly by watching TV
 need for actual interaction (Pinker, 1998) (Anticipation of objection)
3. TV not an entirely positive force, but not entirely negative
force either (Response to objections)
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6. Conclusion
• Include TS again: In this essay, it was
argued that Television provides replacement voices that
ease loneliness, spark healthful laughter, and even educate
young children.
• Briefly recapitulate findings, possibly
highlighting main finding.
• May /may not end by saying some
questions remained unanswered, open
prospects for future study.

7. Thesis statement (in bold)
- “(1) Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone is a great
story that develops around the legend of the Sorcerer’s
Stone, a long sought after substance that would
transform any metal into gold and bestow immortality.
(2) In telling the story of the Sorcerer’s Stone, the novel
also touches on many universal themes, such as
overcoming difficulties, dealing with conflict, relating to
authority and learning new ideas. (3) Choosing just
three themes to analyze from Harry Potter and the
Sorcerer’s Stone was a difficult task because so many
themes are fully developed in the novel. (4) However, the
three significant themes that I chose to explain from the
Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone novel are the power
of love, the importance of friendship, and courage on the
hero’s journey.”(source:
http://academicenglishcafe.com/ModelEssay5.aspx)

8. Subsequent paragraphs in this essay:
1. “The first important theme in the story is
the power of love…….”
2. “Friendship is another prevalent
theme……”
3. “Crafted from the history of alchemy, the
story of the Sorcerer’s Stone is ancient
and captivating, and the story shows
Harry courageously travelling on the
hero’s journey to solve the
mystery…….”
Source: http://www.academicenglishcafe.com/model-essay-5.html

9. Conclusion
“By modeling the positive actions and
choices of the main characters, Harry,
Ron and Hermione, the novel uses the
themes of love, friendship and the hero’s
journey to entertain as well as inspire us
to deal with the events of our lives
courageously.”
Source: http://www.academicenglishcafe.com/model-essay-5.html

10. Thesis statement (in bold)
- “Assignment essays are developed from set
questions that give students a period of time to
research a topic and produce their answer with
references to their sources of information. While
there are some disadvantages with using
assignment essays as an assessment tool, there are
sound educational purposes underpinning this
practice. This essay examines the reasons why
assignment essays are beneficial for student
learning and considers some of the problems
with this method of assessment.”
(source: http://www.une.edu.au/tlc/aso/aso-online/academic-writing/sample-
essay.php)

11. Subsequent paragraphs in this essay:
1. “Assignment essay tasks are set to
assist students to develop mastery of
their study subject……”
2. “Using assignment essays for
assessment supports student learning
better than the traditional examination
system…..”
3. “As an assessment tool, assignment
essays have some disadvantages for
lecturers and students……”
http://www.une.edu.au/tlc/aso/aso-online/academic-writing/sample-essay.php

12. Conclusion
(Thesis statement) “To conclude, it seems that assignment
essays continue to have a prominent role in tertiary
education as an assessment tool.” (1) “This is mainly
because they are very effective in developing
knowledge and writing skills for subject areas.” (2) “Also,
assignment essays can be less stressful than
examinations as they allow students to show their
understanding of content in less pressured
circumstances.” (3) “On the other hand, the time
consuming nature of writing and marking essays points
to some disadvantages that also need to be
considered.” (Conclusion) “The weight of evidence,
however, supports the writing of assignment essays for
student assessment because this approach has such
positive and proven effects for improved student
learning.”
source:
http://www.une.edu.au/tlc/aso/aso-online/academic-writing/sample-essay.php

13. Concluding paragraph:
- Organisation is the opposite of the
introductory paragraph: specific to general
- Relates back to the thesis statement
- Summarises the main arguments without
repeating phrases and sentences
- Offers recommendations, shows the wider
relevance or implications
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14. Paragraph requirements:
A good paragraph is:
unified, i.e. it deals with one idea only,
represented in the topic sentence (usually the
first)
well-developed, in that it contains enough
support for the main point in the form of
explanation, clarification, illustration
Coherent, i.e. it is logically organised and
easy to follow (it flows).
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15. Example of paragraph lacking unity:
"Zombies are becoming an important part of popular
culture, perhaps as a way of coping with some of the
common fears in modern North American culture. Films
like Shaun of the Dead and Fido blend comedy with
aspects of horror and romance, but still focus on
zombies. Simon Pegg has gone on to do other films and
is a popular and talented comedic actor. Hollywood is
taking advantage of resurgence of interest by remaking
several old horror films as well. Television shows like
“The Walking Dead” are popular with a wide
demographic. Cable channels like AMC and HBO are
making more and more quality television programs that
deal with difficult and controversial topics in a way that
is both entertaining and enlightening.”
(source:
http://cstudies.ubc.ca/writers-workshop/writers-toolbox/paragraph-unity-and-coherence.html
)

16. Paragraph coherence:
- Linking words and phrases
- Repetition of key words and phrases
- Summary words
- Use of grammatically parallel constructions
- Use of pronouns (he, they, our, this, that, their, etc.), reference words
- Predictable paragraph organisation
• Topic sentence in first position (80%)
• accepted to controversial, general to specific, problem –
solution, cause –effect, etc.)
- Sentence patterns (given – new)
- Punctuation
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17. Example of paragraph lacking
coherence
“Canadian software companies face several
tough challenges in the new millennium
because of ‘brain drain,’ and the monopoly held
by their American counterparts. However, the
Canadian dollar is getting stronger. ‘Brain drain’
is a bad thing. Our greatest resources are
leaving. Microsoft is squeezing out its
competitors. In comparison, if the ‘brain drain’
continues, Canadian companies will find it
difficult to produce innovative software. If the
dollar doesn’t stay strong, it will hurt us. It will
help the Americans.”
(Source:
http://cstudies.ubc.ca/writers-workshop/writers-toolbox/paragraph-unity-and-coherence.html
)

18. Rewritten version
“Canadian software companies have been facing
several tough challenges recently because of ‘brain
drain,’ and the monopoly held by American
corporations. ‘Brain drain’ is a catchy new term for the
practice of American companies enticing brilliant
Canadian doctors, scientists, researchers,
programmers, and business people to cross over the
border into the United States. The U.S. firms lure the
Canadian talent with the competitive research and
business edge that many such companies have as a
result of industry monopolies. Simply put, Canadian
companies are being soundly beaten because they find
themselves on a playing field that is not always level.”
(Source:
http://cstudies.ubc.ca/writers-workshop/writers-toolbox/paragraph-unity-and-coherence.html)

19. Coherence and summary words:
As warm surface waters flow north they cool and
get saltier which makes them denser. This denser
water sinks and returns to the south at depth. The
Gulf Stream is part of this circulation system. (=
summary word).
Other examples: phenomenon
method
(create your own list of summary words while
reading)
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20. Pronouns
• Pronouns usually refer to other words,
called their antecedents
• An antecedent and a pronoun must refer to
the same thing.
• A pronoun's antecedent may be either a
noun or another pronoun.

21. Example
- The argument presented by Jones is
unclear because it focuses on a continent
rather than on a single country.
- Jones and McCarthy agree that the
research carried out by Jones is unclear.
In their analysis they point out that
focusing on a single country leads to a
better argumentation.

22. Linking words and phrases
- Coordinating conjunctions link two parts of
the sentence in a neutral way, without giving
extra emphasis to the logical connection
between the ideas (and, or, so, but, etc.)
- Subordinating conjunctions link an
independent clause with a dependent clause
or v.v. (if, since, although, etc.)
- Conjunctive adverbs make the logical
connection between two complete sentences
(however, in fact, finally, etc.)
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23. Paragraph length
- Paragraphs should be approximately the
same length
- The length of a paragraph depends on
the total length of the paper
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24. Collocations
• Groups of words that frequently occur
together
• Natural combinations of words
• Examples:
• blonde hair
• strong argument
• commit a crime

25. Why are collocations important?
• Helps to make your English more natural
• Enriches your understanding of language
• Increases your vocabulary range
(Source: O’Dell, Felicity & Michael McCarthy. English Collocations in Use: Advanced.
Cambridge: CUP, 2008. Print.)

26. Collocations in Academic English (1)
- Noun - Noun
- critical analysis
- background reading
- literature review
- working hypothesis
- full explanation

27. Collocations in Academic English (2)
- Verb-Noun
- research indicates
- submit a report / essay
- present findings
- draw a conclusion
- select a research topic
- do/conduct research

28. Chapter 5
Revising
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29. revising
The focus is on:
-Organising your ideas and research into
wel-developed paragraphs
-Rounding off a paragraph with a
concluding sentence
-Linking your paragraphs with transition
sentences showing the relationship
between topics
Do tasks 11, 12 on p. 169
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30. Linking paragraphs
- Use a transition sentence that briefly links
back to the previous paragraph, then
introduces the next topic
- Use signalling language showing a
complementary or contrasting relationship
(similar to…., whereas …, etc.)
- Or use correlative conjunctions (not only
…, but also …; both … and …; either … or…;
neither … nor …)
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31. Not only …, but also …
- Grammatical construction: inversion.
He was a painter, but he was also an arts dealer.
Not only was he a painter, but also an arts dealer.
He broke his arm and his collar bone.
Not only did he break his arm, but also his collar
bone.
Do task 15, p. 173
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32. Revising
Special attention should be paid to:
- word choice (vocabulary)
-sentence structure (grammar),
-paragraph structure.
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33. Tentative language,
or the need to be cautious
In academic texts we often need to
moderate or qualify our claims and
generalisations.
Use modal verbs (expressing probability):
Sleeping 7 – 9 hours a day will result in
better academic performance.
Sleeping 7 – 9 hours a day may result in
better academic performance.
Sleeping 7 – 9 hours a day might / could
result in better academic performance.
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34. Tentative language:
 Create distance:
The factory has benefitted from the recent
technology upgrade.
The factory seems to have benefitted from the
recent technology upgrade.
The factory appears to have benefitted from the
recent technology upgrade.
It seems that the factory has benefitted from the
recent technology upgrade.
It has been said that the factory seems to have
benefitted from the recent technology upgrade.
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35. Tentative language:
Distance yourself from the data:
Based on the limited data available, …
In the view of some experts, ….
According to this preliminary study, …
Based on an informal survey of nine
department managers, …
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36. Tentative language:
 Qualify a generalisation:
Children living in poverty have a history of health
problems.
Children living in poverty tend to have a history of
health problems.
Many children living in poverty have a history of
health problems.
The majority of children living in poverty have a
history of health problems.
In most parts of the world children living in poverty
have a history of health problems.
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37. Tentative language:
Choose a weaker verb:
Unsound policies of the IMF led to the
financial crisis.
Unsound policies of the IMF contributed to
the financial crisis.
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38. Tentative language:
Combine several types of qualifications,
but do not overdo it:
It could be concluded that the majority of
studies seem to suggest that some of the
unsound policies of the IMF might have
led to the financial crisis.
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39. Beating Writer's Block
-Plan carefully
-Start with the easy bits
-Take a break when you feel you need one…
-…But not for too long
-Get away from it during breaks
-Sleep on it if stuck
-Explain to an interested layperson
-Clear your desk
-Do not try to get everything right the first time
-Write around missing information
-Do not stop when your writing flows
-Set crazy deadlines…
-…And reward yourself for meeting them
(Source: Fraser, Jane, How to Publish in Biomedicine, 500 Tips for Success, Radcliffe:
Radcliffe Medical Press, 1997. Print.)
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40. Next week
- Discussion of Chapters 6 and 7 in the
book
- Academic Writing in an intercultural
context (not in the book).