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The Graduate Writing Center (GWC) Presents:

Writing CVs
and
Personal Statements
An Interactive Workshop with Jo Hsu (vjohsu@gmail.com), Alexandria
Lockett (alexandrialockett@gmail.com), and Sara Dimaggio
(sdimaggio@psu.edu)
About the Graduate Writing Center
▪ Offers 50 minute one-on-one consultations with professional tutors
▪ Services any graduate student writer represented all classifications, fields, and
nationalities
▪ Availability posted on Fridays by 4 p.m.
▪ Fall 2013 Workshops:
– Overcoming Writer’s Block (October 14)
– Principles of Academic Writing (November 4)
– Digital Research Tools/New Media in Research (November 20)

To access this presentation, schedule an appointment, or learn more about our services,
visit:
http://pwr.la.psu.edu/resources/graduate-writing-center
Workshop Goals: Writing the CV and Personal
Statement
▪ To review the features of effective CVs and personal statements
▪ To develop awareness of audiences’ expectations
▪ To practice describing your strengths and qualifications with both
variety and consistency
▪ To discuss and reflect upon your professional journey
▪ To identify and narrate unique characteristics that define you as an ideal
candidate
CVs: Purposes and Uses
CVs Compared to Resumes
•• More Details about Educational
History
•• No page limit
•• Fewer bullets
•• Less job description, more
accomplishments
•• Showcases qualifications in
teaching, research, and service

Who Writes CVs
•• Academics and Educators
•• Advanced Professionals
•• Medical Practitioners
•• Artists/Designers
•• Programmers and
Developers
CV Content
Contact Information
– Name, Email, Phone Number
– Website and Social Networking Profile (e.g. LinkedIn or About.me)
Education (Reverse Chronology)
– Institution, Degree and Major, Year Obtained
– Title of Thesis/Dissertation, Advisors, Brief Abstract (150 Words)
– Post-doctoral work

Research
– Publications and/or Conferences
– Notable Grants, Fellowships, Awards
– Relevant Coursework (especially Pedagogy training or Practicums)
– Research Assistantships
CV Content (Cont.)
▪ Pedagogy/Teaching (Top-level Hierarchy)
– Courses Taught (e.g. teaching assistantships)
– Pedagogy Training

▪ Service (Top-level Hierarchy)
– Leadership in Student Organizations and Committees
– Volunteer Work for non-profit organizations
– Outreach (e.g. study abroad, immersions, Fulbright experiences)
Additional Headings
▪
▪
▪
▪
▪
▪
▪

Professional Development
Pedagogy Training
Certifications
Civic Engagement
Clinical Experience
Leadership
Software Expertise

▪
▪
▪
▪
▪
▪
▪

Technology Skills
Language Skills
Cross-Cultural Experience
Course Design Interests
Installations
Collaborations
Fundraising
Organization
▪ Variable format, what kind of
organization are you applying to?
▪ Placement of headings should
adapt to their value of:
–
–
–
–
–

Research
Teaching
Design
Clinical Experience
Laboratory Experience

▪ Contact Information and
Education belong to the first two
sections
▪ Provide specific details
illustrating values
▪
▪

See institution mission statement
Look for performance goals

▪ Activity in sections should be
dated and listed in reverse
chronological order
Strategies for Improving Organization
Analyze Application Requirements

Describe examples of qualifications

▪ Heading placement reveals your

▪ Action verbs

priorities and strengths
▪ Do any words show up many times in
the ad?
– Values and Beliefs
▪ Do the instructions use any jargon?
How much?
– Disciplinary or Networked
▪ Are instructions specific or vague?
– Degree of formality and decorum

– Do what?

▪ Deliverables
– Created what?

▪ Measurable Impact
– Improved what?

▪ Specific Amounts
– Reduced cost/increased budget
– Increased membership
Layout Choices: Balance and Consistency
▪
▪
▪
▪
▪
▪
▪

Font: 11 or 12 point, Serif or Sans Serif?
Color: Black or Dark Grey, High contrast web design
Shapes: 1 bold line or many?
Stylization: Bold, Italics, Font Size for Headings and Sections
Bulleting: Organizes information in sections. How much?
Print: High quality white or off-white paper
URLs: Consider making a web portfolio for examples of online work.
Principles of Composition for CVs
Strive for Consistency and Balance:
▪ Make sure heading and content alignment, spacing, and stylization are
identical!
▪ White space, font readability, and symmetry reduces audience labor
▪ The formatting and content details will be used by committees to
evaluate your character
– Consistency=Considerate, well-organized, trustworthy
– Action verbs and specific examples=Genuine, reliable, exceptional
Examples of Traditional CVs
Creative CVs
Creative CV Examples
▪
▪
▪
▪
▪

Design Set 1
Design Set 2
Design Set 3
Design Set 4
Advice for Creating Innovative CVs
Relationship between CVs and Personal Statements
▪ CVs tell a story of facts
▪ Personal Statements tell a story about the significance of the contexts that
led to these facts
▪ Narratives show readers how you think and what motivates your purpose
– Insight about a person’s motivation, desire, sense of conflict, and how they draw
connections between events
Personal Statements Serve Many Purposes
▪ Account for gaps in education, poor grades or test scores
▪ Practice Self-reflection and discovery
▪ Practice assessing organizations
– Learn more about the self, by paying attention to what convinces you to want to be
part of a program

▪ Experience with Scholarship and Fellowship applications
▪ Interview preparation
Purpose of Personal Statements
What makes this candidate distinctive among other competitive candidates?
– A glimpse of your identity, personality, style
– Shows, rather than tells, your interest in the program
– Establishes a connection with the committee

Also known as: statement of purpose, letter of intent, career goal statement,
biographical essay
Personal Statements Narrow Down Candidates
Why is this such a persuasive document?
– Can they trust your potential commitment to the program? (ethos)
– Do they feel inspired to admit you and help you become a member of
their professional community? (pathos)
– Do your past accomplishments and academic/career goals
demonstrate that you are capable of becoming a productive, inventive
member of the field? (logos)
– Does your narrative prove that its the right 'time' for you to be in their
program? (kairos)
Some Organizing Principles
Part 1: Where have you been?
▪ What events led you to become interested/involved in the field (a person, experience,
some aspect of your history)?
Part 2: Where are you now?
▪ What activities/projects/research/service do you do that can illustrate your interest in
the field?
Part 3: Where are you going?
▪ What do you visualize yourself doing once you've been admitted to the program? (e.g.
faculty you want to work with, research you want to do?)
▪ What are your career objectives, more broadly? What will you do after you've
received the degree? (e.g. go on to get a PhD there or elsewhere? Get a job?)
Audience Expectations for ‘Good’ Personal Statements

Quotes from selection committee directors about purpose:
–“I don’t really want the story of a student’s life (although there are
exceptions) but rather plans for and a vision of the future.”
–“What we’re looking for at that stage is some insight into how the
student thinks, what sort of clarity of purpose she has into one or more
research areas.”
Audience Expectations for ‘Good’ Personal Statements

Quotes from selection committee directors about character:

“I want to get a sense of what the applicant is all about.
First, they should tell me where they’re coming from—
what it is in their background that leads them to apply to a
program like ours. Second, they should tell me what it is
they want to get out of our program. Third, I want to know
where they hope our program will eventually take them in
their career.”
Audience Expectations for ‘Good’ Personal Statements

Quotes from selection committee directors about competence:
“I think the main thing is to see whether the student is aware of and has thought about
the field to which he or she is applying. Does he or she know anything at all about it,
has this person identified some of the key issues that are active in research, and does
he or she have some familiarity with issues in the field?”
–
–“The other mistake people make is talking about something they know nothing about.
They’ll say, ‘I want to do something in international relations,’ without indicating that
they have any idea of what that means. Or, ‘I want to go and cure the problems in the
Middle East’ or, ‘I want to go and work for the United Nations’—these kinds of grandiose
statements indicate to me that the person really doesn’t know the realities of career
opportunities in this field.
Step 1: Research and Analyze Institutional Strengths
What are the top three things that stand out to you about a specific program, or in general?
(Responds to the question: Why does this program/job seem to be a good ‘fit’ for your story?)

In what ways will/should the program contribute to both your professional and
personal growth
– Facilities
– Diversity
– Faculty
– Organizations
– Programming
– Collaborations
– Professional Development Initiatives
– Graduate Student/Alumni Network
– Reputation
– Support Services (e.g. writing centers, multicultural affairs, international student

services)
Step 2: Acknowledge (and Discuss) Challenges
▪
▪
▪
▪
▪
▪
▪
▪
▪

Failure to be personal
Verbose (conciseness)
Vague (clarity)
Rambling
Self-evaluation/Genuineness
Time-consuming
No set model/messy process
Avoiding clichés
Fine line between unique and exceptional vs. controversial. When is
controversy appropriate?
Step 3: Practice Writing Content
The next few slides encourage you to begin thinking about how you discuss
your experiences with others.
▪ Activity 1: Using the questions on the next slide, work with a person
near you, interview-style to produce and document ideas. (10 min)

▪ Application: Use what you discover through this exercise to write your
introduction. Your answers should help you to ‘root’ yourself in your own
unique tale about your commitment to becoming a
professional/specialist.
Step 4: Reflecting on Professional Identity and Commitment

Do you suffer from imposter syndrome?
Do you just want to be in the field because of prestige?
What convinced you to want to become part of the field?
Were you going to take another path?
In what ways do you think this field adds to the evolution of human
thought?
▪ Why do you feel capable of being a productive member of the field?
▪ How do you want to contribute to the field?
▪
▪
▪
▪
▪
Step 5: Collaborate with a Partner
▪ What is special or unique about your personal history?
▪ Which special hardships or obstacles helped you get to where you
are today?
▪ What has retained your interest in the field?
▪ What are your career objectives?
▪ What notable skills, abilities, or character traits do you possess?
▪ Are there any problems you need to address in regards to poor
grades, test scores, or gaps in your education?
Tip: Use your CV as a heuristic!
Can you remember key "aha moments“ that led you down this path?
▪ Choose at least two and write down who was involved (books, films,
people), where you were, what you were doing, and when you
recognized that you needed to go down this path.
Why are you interested in the field?
▪ Write down any texts, projects, activities, hobbies, or
hardships/challenges that led you to this place.
Describing How Hardship Affects GPA
“My family was evicted from its apartment, with the landlord temporarily
refusing (illegally) to let us back in to retrieve our possessions. For two
weeks I slept in the library at my school, while my parents slept on the
floor of a building that was being remodeled. (Both of my sisters were
away at college.) The eviction preceded my finals by two weeks and, not
surprisingly, had a devastating impact on my performance.”

Sample Personal Statement for Law School
How to Narrate
“My family was evicted from its apartment, with the landlord
temporarily refusing (illegally) to let us back in to retrieve our
possessions.”
OR
The landlord illegally evicted us from his apartment, refusing to allow
us to retrieve our possessions.

Tip: When you eliminate ‘to be,” [was, is, would, could] the writing
moves faster.
Juxtapose Perception and Reality
“I grew up in circumstances that provide a classic example of the
frequent disparity between appearance and reality. To any outsider,
my family might have seemed to be enjoying the ideal upper-middleclass existence: peaceful, pretty, and privileged. In actuality,
however, alcohol and domestic violence were creating an
environment within our house that, for me, was both difficult and
frightening.”

A Student applying to Medical School
Reduce prepositions and repetition for less clutter
In actuality, however, alcohol and domestic violence were creating an
environment within our house that, for me, was both difficult and
frightening.”

In actuality, alcohol and domestic violence created a frightening
environment that challenged my academic success and personal
growth.
Contact with Underserved Populations
“For the past seven years I have spent my summers at a camp in
California, first as a camper, then as a counselor and, finally, a
division head. The camp is quite remarkable in that each summer it
takes in, along with its other campers, approximately 20 children with
various learning disabilities and mental disorder.”

Student applying to a Medical Program
Use transitions purposefully!
First, Second, Third, Finally makes for a boring personal statement! Try
varying up your transitions with more precise markers of time and
scope:
●
●
●
●
●

For the past several years
After conducting my research, I discovered…
Although I enjoyed studying X, Y engaged a,b,c skills
Several factors influenced my shifting career goals. First, Next, etc.
Many fascinating books describe cellular regeneration, but X
inspired me to major in biology
Discuss learning OBJECTIVES!

“I am particularly interested in finance as a cornerstone in the
foundation for my career in business. I want to know much more
about such things as computer sciences as applied to finance (in
terms of projecting financial models) and organizational behavior as
it relates to working in groups.”

Student applying for an MBA
Strategies for Content Development
▪
▪
▪
▪

Use specific examples to demonstrate your character, abilities, interests
Be selective! Choose the most MEMORABLE experiences
Watch your tone! Avoid over and under confidence
Too much emphasis on your knowledge about the program and faculty
accomplishments distracts readers from who you are
Final Considerations
We know its all about you, but tact, respect, thoughtfulness,
and friendliness can be detected in:
➢ Use of correct grammar and the active voice
➢ Careful selection of appropriate details
➢ Well-organized events sequenced as a story
➢ Balance between what you can do for the program
and what the program can do for you
Workshopping CVs and Personal Statements
For the rest of this workshop, we want to give you the opportunity to work
on your writing!
Use this time for:
▪
▪
▪
▪
▪

Brainstorming
Consulting with tutors
Peer Review
Re-formatting
Developing content
Accessing Workshop Materials and Survey

Please access our handout at:
http://pwr.la.psu.edu/resources/graduate-writing-center/handouts-1/WritingPersonalStatements.pdf

Additional Examples are available at:
http://alexandrialockett.com/pedagogy/workshops/personal-statements/

We would greatly appreciate it if you could fill out our short survey!
https://docs.google.com/forms/d/152nSKqrwWxHJj9dkWnvEX2v4C8mVuq7J98cnHl01PC0/viewform
The GWC would like to acknowledge:
▪
▪
▪
▪
▪
▪
▪

YOU! Thanks for attending!!
Former GWC tutor Sarah Summers
Google Search Engine and the WWW
Resume Magic (Whitcomb)
Graduate Admissions Essays (Asher)
How to Write a Winning Personal Statement (Stelzer)
Perfect Personal Statements (Stewart)

We hope you will continue to use GWC services, please visit our website
for access to these materials and to make an appointment!

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Personal Statements and CVs

  • 1. The Graduate Writing Center (GWC) Presents: Writing CVs and Personal Statements An Interactive Workshop with Jo Hsu (vjohsu@gmail.com), Alexandria Lockett (alexandrialockett@gmail.com), and Sara Dimaggio (sdimaggio@psu.edu)
  • 2. About the Graduate Writing Center ▪ Offers 50 minute one-on-one consultations with professional tutors ▪ Services any graduate student writer represented all classifications, fields, and nationalities ▪ Availability posted on Fridays by 4 p.m. ▪ Fall 2013 Workshops: – Overcoming Writer’s Block (October 14) – Principles of Academic Writing (November 4) – Digital Research Tools/New Media in Research (November 20) To access this presentation, schedule an appointment, or learn more about our services, visit: http://pwr.la.psu.edu/resources/graduate-writing-center
  • 3. Workshop Goals: Writing the CV and Personal Statement ▪ To review the features of effective CVs and personal statements ▪ To develop awareness of audiences’ expectations ▪ To practice describing your strengths and qualifications with both variety and consistency ▪ To discuss and reflect upon your professional journey ▪ To identify and narrate unique characteristics that define you as an ideal candidate
  • 4. CVs: Purposes and Uses CVs Compared to Resumes •• More Details about Educational History •• No page limit •• Fewer bullets •• Less job description, more accomplishments •• Showcases qualifications in teaching, research, and service Who Writes CVs •• Academics and Educators •• Advanced Professionals •• Medical Practitioners •• Artists/Designers •• Programmers and Developers
  • 5. CV Content Contact Information – Name, Email, Phone Number – Website and Social Networking Profile (e.g. LinkedIn or About.me) Education (Reverse Chronology) – Institution, Degree and Major, Year Obtained – Title of Thesis/Dissertation, Advisors, Brief Abstract (150 Words) – Post-doctoral work Research – Publications and/or Conferences – Notable Grants, Fellowships, Awards – Relevant Coursework (especially Pedagogy training or Practicums) – Research Assistantships
  • 6. CV Content (Cont.) ▪ Pedagogy/Teaching (Top-level Hierarchy) – Courses Taught (e.g. teaching assistantships) – Pedagogy Training ▪ Service (Top-level Hierarchy) – Leadership in Student Organizations and Committees – Volunteer Work for non-profit organizations – Outreach (e.g. study abroad, immersions, Fulbright experiences)
  • 7. Additional Headings ▪ ▪ ▪ ▪ ▪ ▪ ▪ Professional Development Pedagogy Training Certifications Civic Engagement Clinical Experience Leadership Software Expertise ▪ ▪ ▪ ▪ ▪ ▪ ▪ Technology Skills Language Skills Cross-Cultural Experience Course Design Interests Installations Collaborations Fundraising
  • 8. Organization ▪ Variable format, what kind of organization are you applying to? ▪ Placement of headings should adapt to their value of: – – – – – Research Teaching Design Clinical Experience Laboratory Experience ▪ Contact Information and Education belong to the first two sections ▪ Provide specific details illustrating values ▪ ▪ See institution mission statement Look for performance goals ▪ Activity in sections should be dated and listed in reverse chronological order
  • 9. Strategies for Improving Organization Analyze Application Requirements Describe examples of qualifications ▪ Heading placement reveals your ▪ Action verbs priorities and strengths ▪ Do any words show up many times in the ad? – Values and Beliefs ▪ Do the instructions use any jargon? How much? – Disciplinary or Networked ▪ Are instructions specific or vague? – Degree of formality and decorum – Do what? ▪ Deliverables – Created what? ▪ Measurable Impact – Improved what? ▪ Specific Amounts – Reduced cost/increased budget – Increased membership
  • 10. Layout Choices: Balance and Consistency ▪ ▪ ▪ ▪ ▪ ▪ ▪ Font: 11 or 12 point, Serif or Sans Serif? Color: Black or Dark Grey, High contrast web design Shapes: 1 bold line or many? Stylization: Bold, Italics, Font Size for Headings and Sections Bulleting: Organizes information in sections. How much? Print: High quality white or off-white paper URLs: Consider making a web portfolio for examples of online work.
  • 11. Principles of Composition for CVs Strive for Consistency and Balance: ▪ Make sure heading and content alignment, spacing, and stylization are identical! ▪ White space, font readability, and symmetry reduces audience labor ▪ The formatting and content details will be used by committees to evaluate your character – Consistency=Considerate, well-organized, trustworthy – Action verbs and specific examples=Genuine, reliable, exceptional
  • 14. Creative CV Examples ▪ ▪ ▪ ▪ ▪ Design Set 1 Design Set 2 Design Set 3 Design Set 4 Advice for Creating Innovative CVs
  • 15. Relationship between CVs and Personal Statements ▪ CVs tell a story of facts ▪ Personal Statements tell a story about the significance of the contexts that led to these facts ▪ Narratives show readers how you think and what motivates your purpose – Insight about a person’s motivation, desire, sense of conflict, and how they draw connections between events
  • 16. Personal Statements Serve Many Purposes ▪ Account for gaps in education, poor grades or test scores ▪ Practice Self-reflection and discovery ▪ Practice assessing organizations – Learn more about the self, by paying attention to what convinces you to want to be part of a program ▪ Experience with Scholarship and Fellowship applications ▪ Interview preparation
  • 17. Purpose of Personal Statements What makes this candidate distinctive among other competitive candidates? – A glimpse of your identity, personality, style – Shows, rather than tells, your interest in the program – Establishes a connection with the committee Also known as: statement of purpose, letter of intent, career goal statement, biographical essay
  • 18. Personal Statements Narrow Down Candidates Why is this such a persuasive document? – Can they trust your potential commitment to the program? (ethos) – Do they feel inspired to admit you and help you become a member of their professional community? (pathos) – Do your past accomplishments and academic/career goals demonstrate that you are capable of becoming a productive, inventive member of the field? (logos) – Does your narrative prove that its the right 'time' for you to be in their program? (kairos)
  • 19. Some Organizing Principles Part 1: Where have you been? ▪ What events led you to become interested/involved in the field (a person, experience, some aspect of your history)? Part 2: Where are you now? ▪ What activities/projects/research/service do you do that can illustrate your interest in the field? Part 3: Where are you going? ▪ What do you visualize yourself doing once you've been admitted to the program? (e.g. faculty you want to work with, research you want to do?) ▪ What are your career objectives, more broadly? What will you do after you've received the degree? (e.g. go on to get a PhD there or elsewhere? Get a job?)
  • 20. Audience Expectations for ‘Good’ Personal Statements Quotes from selection committee directors about purpose: –“I don’t really want the story of a student’s life (although there are exceptions) but rather plans for and a vision of the future.” –“What we’re looking for at that stage is some insight into how the student thinks, what sort of clarity of purpose she has into one or more research areas.”
  • 21. Audience Expectations for ‘Good’ Personal Statements Quotes from selection committee directors about character: “I want to get a sense of what the applicant is all about. First, they should tell me where they’re coming from— what it is in their background that leads them to apply to a program like ours. Second, they should tell me what it is they want to get out of our program. Third, I want to know where they hope our program will eventually take them in their career.”
  • 22. Audience Expectations for ‘Good’ Personal Statements Quotes from selection committee directors about competence: “I think the main thing is to see whether the student is aware of and has thought about the field to which he or she is applying. Does he or she know anything at all about it, has this person identified some of the key issues that are active in research, and does he or she have some familiarity with issues in the field?” – –“The other mistake people make is talking about something they know nothing about. They’ll say, ‘I want to do something in international relations,’ without indicating that they have any idea of what that means. Or, ‘I want to go and cure the problems in the Middle East’ or, ‘I want to go and work for the United Nations’—these kinds of grandiose statements indicate to me that the person really doesn’t know the realities of career opportunities in this field.
  • 23. Step 1: Research and Analyze Institutional Strengths What are the top three things that stand out to you about a specific program, or in general? (Responds to the question: Why does this program/job seem to be a good ‘fit’ for your story?) In what ways will/should the program contribute to both your professional and personal growth – Facilities – Diversity – Faculty – Organizations – Programming – Collaborations – Professional Development Initiatives – Graduate Student/Alumni Network – Reputation – Support Services (e.g. writing centers, multicultural affairs, international student services)
  • 24. Step 2: Acknowledge (and Discuss) Challenges ▪ ▪ ▪ ▪ ▪ ▪ ▪ ▪ ▪ Failure to be personal Verbose (conciseness) Vague (clarity) Rambling Self-evaluation/Genuineness Time-consuming No set model/messy process Avoiding clichés Fine line between unique and exceptional vs. controversial. When is controversy appropriate?
  • 25. Step 3: Practice Writing Content The next few slides encourage you to begin thinking about how you discuss your experiences with others. ▪ Activity 1: Using the questions on the next slide, work with a person near you, interview-style to produce and document ideas. (10 min) ▪ Application: Use what you discover through this exercise to write your introduction. Your answers should help you to ‘root’ yourself in your own unique tale about your commitment to becoming a professional/specialist.
  • 26. Step 4: Reflecting on Professional Identity and Commitment Do you suffer from imposter syndrome? Do you just want to be in the field because of prestige? What convinced you to want to become part of the field? Were you going to take another path? In what ways do you think this field adds to the evolution of human thought? ▪ Why do you feel capable of being a productive member of the field? ▪ How do you want to contribute to the field? ▪ ▪ ▪ ▪ ▪
  • 27. Step 5: Collaborate with a Partner ▪ What is special or unique about your personal history? ▪ Which special hardships or obstacles helped you get to where you are today? ▪ What has retained your interest in the field? ▪ What are your career objectives? ▪ What notable skills, abilities, or character traits do you possess? ▪ Are there any problems you need to address in regards to poor grades, test scores, or gaps in your education? Tip: Use your CV as a heuristic!
  • 28. Can you remember key "aha moments“ that led you down this path? ▪ Choose at least two and write down who was involved (books, films, people), where you were, what you were doing, and when you recognized that you needed to go down this path. Why are you interested in the field? ▪ Write down any texts, projects, activities, hobbies, or hardships/challenges that led you to this place.
  • 29. Describing How Hardship Affects GPA “My family was evicted from its apartment, with the landlord temporarily refusing (illegally) to let us back in to retrieve our possessions. For two weeks I slept in the library at my school, while my parents slept on the floor of a building that was being remodeled. (Both of my sisters were away at college.) The eviction preceded my finals by two weeks and, not surprisingly, had a devastating impact on my performance.” Sample Personal Statement for Law School
  • 30. How to Narrate “My family was evicted from its apartment, with the landlord temporarily refusing (illegally) to let us back in to retrieve our possessions.” OR The landlord illegally evicted us from his apartment, refusing to allow us to retrieve our possessions. Tip: When you eliminate ‘to be,” [was, is, would, could] the writing moves faster.
  • 31. Juxtapose Perception and Reality “I grew up in circumstances that provide a classic example of the frequent disparity between appearance and reality. To any outsider, my family might have seemed to be enjoying the ideal upper-middleclass existence: peaceful, pretty, and privileged. In actuality, however, alcohol and domestic violence were creating an environment within our house that, for me, was both difficult and frightening.” A Student applying to Medical School
  • 32. Reduce prepositions and repetition for less clutter In actuality, however, alcohol and domestic violence were creating an environment within our house that, for me, was both difficult and frightening.” In actuality, alcohol and domestic violence created a frightening environment that challenged my academic success and personal growth.
  • 33. Contact with Underserved Populations “For the past seven years I have spent my summers at a camp in California, first as a camper, then as a counselor and, finally, a division head. The camp is quite remarkable in that each summer it takes in, along with its other campers, approximately 20 children with various learning disabilities and mental disorder.” Student applying to a Medical Program
  • 34. Use transitions purposefully! First, Second, Third, Finally makes for a boring personal statement! Try varying up your transitions with more precise markers of time and scope: ● ● ● ● ● For the past several years After conducting my research, I discovered… Although I enjoyed studying X, Y engaged a,b,c skills Several factors influenced my shifting career goals. First, Next, etc. Many fascinating books describe cellular regeneration, but X inspired me to major in biology
  • 35. Discuss learning OBJECTIVES! “I am particularly interested in finance as a cornerstone in the foundation for my career in business. I want to know much more about such things as computer sciences as applied to finance (in terms of projecting financial models) and organizational behavior as it relates to working in groups.” Student applying for an MBA
  • 36. Strategies for Content Development ▪ ▪ ▪ ▪ Use specific examples to demonstrate your character, abilities, interests Be selective! Choose the most MEMORABLE experiences Watch your tone! Avoid over and under confidence Too much emphasis on your knowledge about the program and faculty accomplishments distracts readers from who you are
  • 37. Final Considerations We know its all about you, but tact, respect, thoughtfulness, and friendliness can be detected in: ➢ Use of correct grammar and the active voice ➢ Careful selection of appropriate details ➢ Well-organized events sequenced as a story ➢ Balance between what you can do for the program and what the program can do for you
  • 38. Workshopping CVs and Personal Statements For the rest of this workshop, we want to give you the opportunity to work on your writing! Use this time for: ▪ ▪ ▪ ▪ ▪ Brainstorming Consulting with tutors Peer Review Re-formatting Developing content
  • 39. Accessing Workshop Materials and Survey Please access our handout at: http://pwr.la.psu.edu/resources/graduate-writing-center/handouts-1/WritingPersonalStatements.pdf Additional Examples are available at: http://alexandrialockett.com/pedagogy/workshops/personal-statements/ We would greatly appreciate it if you could fill out our short survey! https://docs.google.com/forms/d/152nSKqrwWxHJj9dkWnvEX2v4C8mVuq7J98cnHl01PC0/viewform
  • 40. The GWC would like to acknowledge: ▪ ▪ ▪ ▪ ▪ ▪ ▪ YOU! Thanks for attending!! Former GWC tutor Sarah Summers Google Search Engine and the WWW Resume Magic (Whitcomb) Graduate Admissions Essays (Asher) How to Write a Winning Personal Statement (Stelzer) Perfect Personal Statements (Stewart) We hope you will continue to use GWC services, please visit our website for access to these materials and to make an appointment!