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How to Get Along With Your Boss
By Susan M. Heathfield
At one point or another in your career, you will report to a
manager, the person you fondly - or
not - call boss. The relationships that you create and manage,
with both your immediate boss,
and other company employees, are critical for your work
success and career progress.
And, face it, whether you like it or not, you're in charge of your
relationship with your boss. No
one will ever share as much concern as you do that the quality
of the relationship helps you
achieve your goals. At the same time, your boss has information
that you need to succeed. He
can't do his job or accomplish his goals without your help.
So, your manager shares a critical interdependence with you. If
you don't accomplish your work,

your manager will never shine for his or her overall
responsibilities. You won't progress without
the information, perspective, experience, and support of your
manager.
Despite knowing this, managers do come in every size and with
all possible levels of skill and
effectiveness. Some managers are just plain bad bosses; others
are unaware of what you need
from them. Managing up is challenging, but ultimately, worth
your time.
How to Develop an Effective Relationship With Your Boss
These steps will help you develop a positive, ongoing,
supportive relationship with your boss - a
relationship that serves you well, your manager well, and, as a
consequence, your organization
well.
relationship with your boss.
Relationships are based on trust.
Do what you say you'll do. Keep timeline commitments. Never
blind side your manager
with surprises that you could have predicted or prevented. Keep
her informed about your

projects and interactions with the rest of the organization.
Tell the boss when you've made an error or one of your
reporting staff has made a
mistake. Cover-ups don't contribute to an effective relationship.
Lies or efforts to mislead
always result in further stress for you as you worry about
getting "caught" or somehow
slipping up in the consistency of your story. Communicate daily
or weekly to build the
relationship.
Get to know your manager as a person - she is one, after all.
She shares the human
experience, just as you do, with all of its joys and sorrows.
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boss's needs at the center
of your universe. Identify your boss's areas of weakness or
greatest challenges and ask
what you can do to help. What are your boss's biggest worries;
how can your contribution
mitigate these concerns?
Understand your boss's goals and priorities. Place emphasis in
your work to match her
priorities. Think in terms of the overall success of your
department and company, not just
about your more narrow world at work.
about every boss has both
good points and bad. When you're negative about your boss, the
tendency is to focus on
his worst traits and failings. This is neither positive for your
work happiness nor your

prospects for success in your organization.
Instead, compliment your boss on something he does well.
Provide positive recognition
for contributions to your success. Make your boss feel valued.
Isn't this what you want
from him for you?
but the person who shows up
to work every day has taken years and years of effort on her
part to create. And, who your
boss is has worked for her in the past and reinforced her actions
and beliefs.
Instead of trying to change your boss, focus instead, on trying
to understand your
boss's work style. Identify what she values in an employee.
Does she like frequent
communication, autonomous employees, requests in writing in
advance of meeting, or
informal conversation as you pass in the hallway. Your boss's
preferences are important
and the better you understand them, the better you will work

with her.
a helpful approach to
communicate more effectively with him. There are times when
you don't want to
introduce new ideas; if he is preoccupied with making this
month's numbers, your idea
for a six month improvement may not be timely.
Problems at home or a relative in failing health affect each of
your workplace behaviors
and openness to an improvement discussion. Additionally, if
your boss regularly reacts in
the same way to similar ideas, explore what he fundamentally
likes or dislikes about your
proposals.
like it, your boss has much
to teach you. Appreciate that she was promoted because your
organization found aspects
of her work, actions, and/or management style worthwhile.

Promotions are usually the result of effective work and
successful contributions. So, ask
questions to learn and listen more than you speak to develop an
effective relationship
with your boss.
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coach and mentor.
Remember that your boss can't read your mind. Enable him to
offer you recognition for
your excellent performance. Make sure he knows what you have
accomplished. Create a
space in your conversation for him to praise and thank you.
meeting during which you are

prepared with a list of what you need and your questions. This
allows him to accomplish
work without regular interruption.
your boss's and the
company's overarching goals. When making proposals to your
boss, try to see the larger
picture. There are many reasons why your suggestion may not
be adopted: resources,
time, goals, and vision. Maintain strict confidentiality.
disagree and occasionally
experience an emotional reaction. Don't hold grudges. Don't
make threats about
leaving. Disagreement is fine; discord is not. Get over it. You
need to come to terms with
the fact that your boss has more authority and power than you
do. You are unlikely to
always get your way.
Use these tips to build a powerfully effective relationship with
your boss.

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When & How to Disagree With the Boss
Oct 12 2014
Paul Glover; Co-Founder at DICE-T
One of the frequent questions I’m asked by the
managers/leaders I coach is “How do I
effectively disagree with my boss?” Knowing how to disagree
with your boss, and not commit
career suicide, is an essential skill set and falls under the
category of learning to “manage up.”
While most managers/leaders are able to manage down – at least
a majority of the time- being
able to effectively “manage up” is a much more difficult for the
obvious reason: the boss not

only has significant control over the day to day operation and
can make a subordinate’s work life
miserable but they also exercise considerable influence over a
subordinate’s future with the
company. Therefore, -duh- making the boss an enemy is never a
good career move.
However, with that said, it is a manager’s/leader’s obligation, to
both their boss and the
organization, to have a well thought out opinion about
situations/issues/problems, that is
supported by facts and gut instinct, and then to timely and
effectively express that opinion to
their boss – even if it is not the opinion held by the boss.
Failing to do this is a disservice to the
boss, whose opinion might be changed if they heard a well
thought out and appropriately
expressed different point of view, and a failure to properly
represent the organization that gives
them a paycheck. So, my counsel is: once your opinion has been
formulated you should not
change that opinion or be reluctant to express it just because the
boss disagrees or may not like it.
However, how you deliver your opinion is paramount to having
your opinion heard without

having potentially toxic fallout. So, before you inadvertently
commit career suicide, consider
these Rules for disagreeing with the Boss and surviving the
experience:
1. Never disrespect your Boss! Regardless of how vehemently
you disagree with your
Boss, always treat him/her with the respect due them as a
person and as the person
holding the position of authority and responsibility. Conversely,
you are entitled to that
same degree of respect from your Boss.
2. Never disagree with your Boss in public! Unless you want to
get fired. Or your
judgment is so impaired you should get fired!
3. Express your disagreement directly to your Boss! When you
disagree with the Boss,
immediately take that disagreement directly to the Boss. Don’t
express your disagreement
with your Boss to your team or co-workers. This behavior
serves no legitimate purpose
because: 1. Only the Boss can change his/her opinion, 2. The
person you are complaining
to may tell the Boss you are complaining about them, and 3.
Your complaining will erode
the team’s morale.

4. Choose the right time to disagree with the Boss! We all react
with varying degrees of
defensiveness when facing disagreement. And the higher the
stress level at the time of the
disagreement, the less likely the reasons for the disagreement
will be properly heard.
Disagreeing with your Boss in the middle of a presentation or
client meeting serves no
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purpose since the Boss will seldom react in a positive manner.
Disagree only when there
is an opportunity for you to talk to the Boss about the basis for
the disagreement.
5. Don’t make the disagreement personal! Make the
disagreement about the Boss and you
vs. the problem and not the Boss vs. you. Be professional,
objective, constructive and -
above all - respectful as you express the reason for disagreeing.
And offer alternative
solutions along with the disagreement.

6. Be sure the Boss can handle your disagreement! Some Bosses
don’t want any
opposition or disagreement, regardless of how poorly they are
managing a situation. If
the seriousness of the situation warrants it, go to your Boss’s
Boss to raise the issue that
provides the basis for your disagreement. Remember, you
ultimately owe your allegiance
to the organization and not your Boss. Nobody above your
Boss? Or nobody above your
Boss who will listen? See Rule # 7 below.
7. It may be time to leave! If you follow these Rules and are not
heard, it may be time to
quit working for your Boss.
Any other advice for disagreeing with your Boss and living to
tell about it?
Managing up
Read the Managing up notes and answer the questions below.
Think about how best you could resolve situations and issues
with your boss and explain why you choose that particular way.
Send me your completed assignments by 6pm on Tuesday June
9th via Blackboard.
If your manager/boss frequently cancels meetings with you….

If your manager/boss doesn’t get back to you about work you
send them for input/approval…
If your manager/boss rarely answers your emails…
If your manager/boss changes their mind after decisions have
been made…
If your manager/boss gives you more and more work when your
plate is already full…
If your manager/boss often seems to be on a different page than
you, and you don’t communicate well…
If your manager/boss doesn’t give you feedback…