1. Memphis Business Journal - May 18, 2009
/memphis/stories/2009/05/18/smallb4.html
Friday, May 15, 2009
Tips for developing a constructive
approach to workplace conflicts
Memphis Business Journal - by Barbara Richman
The ability to develop a constructive approach to workplace conflicts is a key to positive
interpersonal relationships. This especially holds true for those in leadership positions who
serve as role models and establish expectations for others. However, conflict prevention and
resolution are also essential skills for employees at every level of the organization.
Conflicts range on a continuum from minor differences of opinion to angry confrontations
and the potential for workplace violence. As long as the behaviors remain at the lower end of
the spectrum and are healthy expressions of varying viewpoints, they can contribute to an
exchange of ideas and enhance a cooperative teamwork setting. However, behaviors that
reflect a win-lose or you versus me perspective can strain relationships, damage morale, and
adversely impact employees, customers and the overall organization.
It is productive to focus on developing strategies to express differences in a respectful
manner and work toward reaching mutual goals and solutions. However, efforts to
eliminate all workplace conflicts will not prove to be realistic, achievable or desirable.
The following are tips for a constructive approach to workplace conflicts:
1. Identify personal triggers, both inside and outside of the workplace, such as doing more
with less, sleep deprivation, technology breakdowns, and financial setbacks. Reflect on how
these triggers create stress and consider ways to minimize their potentially negative
influence on your actions.
2. Recognize that you have responsibility for your actions, regardless of the situation.
Although you will not be able to control another person’s behaviors, you can control your
own.
3. Guard against the negative consequences of acting on assumptions, generalizations, or
stereotypes. Instead, assess specific facts that are relevant to the situation.
4. Adopt a solution-driven, positive, and realistic frame of reference. This perspective will
influence your ability to explore what is working well, areas of conflict, and potential options
for resolution.

2. 5. Use self-restraint and pause before reacting to situations that can create potential conflict.
Take time, even if only a few moments, to consider whether the actions that you are
preparing to take will achieve desired results.
6. Listen intentionally and provide others with the opportunity to express their thoughts.
Completing individuals’ sentences or interrupting them in other ways indicates a lack of
value for what they have to say.
7. Show appreciation for diverse opinions and listen with the intent of understanding
differing perspectives. Actively listen by clarifying what was said, empathizing with other’s
feelings, and acknowledging understanding. By responding in this manner, it increases the
likelihood that others will be more receptive to learning about your perceptions and, as a
result, there will be a mutual exchange of ideas and information.
8. Consider alternative avenues of communication if conflicts arise and determine which
will best facilitate the process. Note that with face-to-face discussions, you have the benefit
of seeing and hearing the other person, whereas with phone calls and e-mails, one or both of
those communication signals will be missing.
9. Choose words carefully, avoiding stern words, name calling, lashing out, generalizations
and similar language that frequently results in defensive reactions. For example, it is likely
that if a message is prefaced with a generalized statement, such as “you always,” it will evoke
responses that not only digress from the intended focus but also rapidly escalate the conflict.
10. Pay attention to all aspects of your communications, including body language, words
and tone of voice. Each part of your message will determine whether others accept or reject
what you are saying.
11. Handle each interaction with respect, maintaining focus on your overall objectives rather
than assigning blame to individuals. Ensure that any attacks are centered on the problem
and that you demonstrate respect for the person.
12. Monitor your actions on an ongoing basis throughout the conflict resolution process.
Rate yourself after interactions to measure your success and identify opportunities for
improvement.
BARBARA RICHMAN is a senior consultant with HR Mpact, a Memphis human resource
consulting firm. She can be reached at (901) 685-9084, (901) 496-0462 or barbara@hr-
mpact.com.
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