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Loving the New ME?
Andrea Buening
TBI Survivor
March 21, 2015
This Is What Happened to Me
Do I remember it?
I know that
Do I Remember Who I Was?
This is What I Remember…
• I was a teacher
• I was a single mother
• I was a home owner + 15 acres
• I owned horses
• I owned dogs, cats, fish, goats, chickens
• I could do anything I wanted to do
• I could do everything I needed to do
But Who WAS I?
• I lived in my own world
• I did not know anything about disability and did not want
to know anything about disability
• I was selfish
• I didn’t think of others first
• I didn’t need to work hard
• I could be LAZY
• I was NOT careful about what I DID
– I didn’t care what I SAID,
– I didn’t think about how I ACTED, and
– I did not CARE what others thought of me.
I wasn’t a great person
THANK GOODNESS I’M NOT THE SAME!
I like myself better now.
I am not proud of who I was so, now…. This is how I live
You’ve Got to
Accentuate the positive
Eliminate the negative
Latch on to the Affirmative
Don’t mess with Mr. In Between
You’ve Got to
Spread joy up to the maximum
Bring blue, down to the minimum
Have faith, or pandemonium
Liable to walk upon the sea
To Illustrate, my last remark, Jonah in the whale, Noah in the
Ark,
What did they do, just when everything looked so dark?
Man They Said We Better
Accentuate the positive
Eliminate the negative
Latch on to the Affirmative
Don’t mess with Mr. In Between
9
Who I Am Today
My Life Today
• Is about giving and helping others who have the same challenges
that I do
• Is about educating others about brain injury.
• Is not the same. I lost everything but my family.
• I am a better PERSON.
I care about others and what people think
I feel more
I work harder
I get more done
I believe in myself now
I am more careful
and I am NOT selfish
I Know That THIS is
The NEW me
HOW I LEARNED TO LOVE MYSELF
MY challenges are like YOUR challenges
I admitted to myself that I will never have the same life as I
did before. Then I told myself THAT’S OK!
I will never run again or play tennis, or ride horses by myself.
But, THAT’S OK TOO!
– I lose things
– My memory isn’t great
– It’s difficult for me to learn new things
– My balance isn’t good
– But having CHALLENGES IS OK because I try my best
all of the time.
SO WHAT DID I DO ABOUT IT?
I Give Thanks For My Second Chance
I learned the Serenity Prayer.
“God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the
difference.”
I learned how to “work around” the things I have trouble doing and I help
MYSELF as much as I can.
I STOPPED FEELING LIKE I COULDN’T DO ANYTHING.
I FOUND THINGS I COULD DO WELL
I ASKED FOR HELP AND GOT IT
I started to believe my license plates that say
ICANB.
I’VE GOT TO
Accentuate the positive
Eliminate the negative
Latch on to the Affirmative
Don’t mess with Mr. In Between
My dad Used to Say:
LEAD, FOLLOW, OR GET OUT OF
THE WAY!
Do SOMETHING, even if it’s
wrong!
I started living
LIVING
Don’t you think that:
Negative thoughts create negative behavior and
negative behavior creates negative outcomes?
Motivate YOURSELF
Every morning, you need to say out LOUD,
“TODAY IS GOING TO BE A GOOD DAY!”
WILL YOU
Get Up,
get dressed,
fix your hair,
brush your teeth,
do your personal care
and have a change in attitude?
This is YOUR Life!
EVERY DAY,
TAKE CHANCES,
TRY NEW THINGS,
LOOK FOR OPPORTUNITIES TO DO SERVICE.
When you HELP OTHERS –
YOU HELP YOURSELF MORE.
Loving the New ME
I BELIEVE THAT
The result is not pretty if I don’t
EXERCISE!
Loving the New ME
These are my reasons for getting
out of bed in the morning
I have many
Loving the New ME
Contact Andrea at: • The Independent Living
Center in Joplin is one of
many CIL’S in Missouri.
• Every Center for
Independent Living
provides five core services
which are:
– Peer Support
– Information and Referral
– Independent Living Skills
– Advocacy
– Nursing Home Transition
The Independent Living
Center on
Mondays/Tuesdays/and
Thursdays 417-659-8086
or By email at
abuening@ilcenter.org
If you would like to know
where the Centers for
Independent Living are
which are close to you,
CONTACT Andrea at the
above number and email
address.
OR
Through the Brain Injury
Association of Missouri

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Loving the New ME

  • 1. Loving the New ME? Andrea Buening TBI Survivor March 21, 2015
  • 2. This Is What Happened to Me Do I remember it?
  • 4. Do I Remember Who I Was? This is What I Remember… • I was a teacher • I was a single mother • I was a home owner + 15 acres • I owned horses • I owned dogs, cats, fish, goats, chickens • I could do anything I wanted to do • I could do everything I needed to do
  • 5. But Who WAS I? • I lived in my own world • I did not know anything about disability and did not want to know anything about disability • I was selfish • I didn’t think of others first • I didn’t need to work hard • I could be LAZY • I was NOT careful about what I DID – I didn’t care what I SAID, – I didn’t think about how I ACTED, and – I did not CARE what others thought of me. I wasn’t a great person
  • 6. THANK GOODNESS I’M NOT THE SAME! I like myself better now. I am not proud of who I was so, now…. This is how I live
  • 7. You’ve Got to Accentuate the positive Eliminate the negative Latch on to the Affirmative Don’t mess with Mr. In Between
  • 8. You’ve Got to Spread joy up to the maximum Bring blue, down to the minimum Have faith, or pandemonium Liable to walk upon the sea To Illustrate, my last remark, Jonah in the whale, Noah in the Ark, What did they do, just when everything looked so dark?
  • 9. Man They Said We Better Accentuate the positive Eliminate the negative Latch on to the Affirmative Don’t mess with Mr. In Between 9
  • 10. Who I Am Today
  • 11. My Life Today • Is about giving and helping others who have the same challenges that I do • Is about educating others about brain injury. • Is not the same. I lost everything but my family. • I am a better PERSON. I care about others and what people think I feel more I work harder I get more done I believe in myself now I am more careful and I am NOT selfish
  • 12. I Know That THIS is The NEW me
  • 13. HOW I LEARNED TO LOVE MYSELF MY challenges are like YOUR challenges I admitted to myself that I will never have the same life as I did before. Then I told myself THAT’S OK! I will never run again or play tennis, or ride horses by myself. But, THAT’S OK TOO! – I lose things – My memory isn’t great – It’s difficult for me to learn new things – My balance isn’t good – But having CHALLENGES IS OK because I try my best all of the time.
  • 14. SO WHAT DID I DO ABOUT IT? I Give Thanks For My Second Chance I learned the Serenity Prayer. “God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.” I learned how to “work around” the things I have trouble doing and I help MYSELF as much as I can. I STOPPED FEELING LIKE I COULDN’T DO ANYTHING. I FOUND THINGS I COULD DO WELL I ASKED FOR HELP AND GOT IT I started to believe my license plates that say ICANB.
  • 15. I’VE GOT TO Accentuate the positive Eliminate the negative Latch on to the Affirmative Don’t mess with Mr. In Between
  • 16. My dad Used to Say: LEAD, FOLLOW, OR GET OUT OF THE WAY! Do SOMETHING, even if it’s wrong!
  • 19. Don’t you think that: Negative thoughts create negative behavior and negative behavior creates negative outcomes?
  • 20. Motivate YOURSELF Every morning, you need to say out LOUD, “TODAY IS GOING TO BE A GOOD DAY!” WILL YOU Get Up, get dressed, fix your hair, brush your teeth, do your personal care and have a change in attitude?
  • 21. This is YOUR Life! EVERY DAY, TAKE CHANCES, TRY NEW THINGS, LOOK FOR OPPORTUNITIES TO DO SERVICE. When you HELP OTHERS – YOU HELP YOURSELF MORE.
  • 23. I BELIEVE THAT The result is not pretty if I don’t EXERCISE!
  • 25. These are my reasons for getting out of bed in the morning I have many
  • 27. Contact Andrea at: • The Independent Living Center in Joplin is one of many CIL’S in Missouri. • Every Center for Independent Living provides five core services which are: – Peer Support – Information and Referral – Independent Living Skills – Advocacy – Nursing Home Transition The Independent Living Center on Mondays/Tuesdays/and Thursdays 417-659-8086 or By email at abuening@ilcenter.org If you would like to know where the Centers for Independent Living are which are close to you, CONTACT Andrea at the above number and email address. OR Through the Brain Injury Association of Missouri