Identify your conflict management style

1. CONFLICT MANAGEMENT
Knowing your clients behavior and how to
deal with them

2. What is a Conflict?
• A disagreement
• Between parties (more then one party)
• One person, or parties perceives a threat to their
– Needs, Values, Interests, Concerns
FACT
VINC
Values, Interests,
Needs, Concerns

3. Can you see a face?

4. Can you see a face?

5. Conflict Responses
Behavioural
What I’m doing?
Physical
Emotional
What I sense
What I’m feeling?
in my body?
Cognitive
What I’m thinking?

6. Sources of Conflicts
• Lack of information, misunderstandings, different
interpretation of the same information
• Role incompatibility, sandwich positions, undefined role
positions,
• Working conditions are stressful, not enough time, high
work load
• Unresolved conflicts (cold conflicts i.e. prior conflicts)
• Personal differences (values, needs, goals, styles)
• Structure within the organisation (micro management)

7. What is YOUR conflict
management style?
• Instructions: Listed below are 15 statements. Each strategy provides a
possible strategy for dealing with a conflict.
Give each a numerical value (i.e., 1=Always, 2=Very often, 3=Sometimes,
4= Not very often, 5= Rarely, if ever.)
Don't answer as you think you should, answer as you actually behave.
• ____ a. I argue my case with peers, colleagues and co-workers to
demonstrate the merits of the position I take.
• ____ b. I try to reach compromises through negotiation.
• ____ c. I attempt to meet the expectation of others.
• ____ d. I seek to investigate issues with others in order to find
solutions that are mutually acceptable.
• ____ e. I am firm in resolve when it comes to defending my side of the
issue.
• ____ f. I try to avoid being singled out, keeping conflict with others to
myself.
• ____ g. I uphold my solutions to problems.

8. What is YOUR conflict
management style?
• ____ h. I compromise in order to reach solutions.
• ____ i. I trade important information with others so that problems
can be solved together.
• ____ j. I avoid discussing my differences with others.
• ____ k. I try to accommodate the wishes of my peers and
colleagues.
• ____ l. I seek to bring everyone's concerns out into the open in
order to resolve disputes in the best possible way.
• ____ m. I put forward middles positions in efforts to break
deadlocks.
• ____ n. I accept the recommendations of colleagues, peers, and
coworkers.
• ____ o. I avoid hard feelings by keeping my disagreements with
others to myself.

9. What is YOUR conflict
management style?
• Scoring: The 15 statements you just read
are listed below under five categories.
Each category contains the letters of three
statements. Record the number you
placed next to each statement. Calculate
the total under each category.

10. What is YOUR conflict
management style?
Style Total
Competing / Forcing a. e. g.
Shark
Collaborating Owl d. i. l.
Avoiding Turtle f. j. o.
Accommodating c. k. n.
teddy bear
Compromising fox b. h. m.
Results: My dominant style is _________________________________
( Your LOWEST score)
and my back-up style is_______________________________ (Your second
Lowest score)

11. What is YOUR conflict
management style?
• The Competing Shark
• use a forcing or competing conflict management style
• highly goal-oriented
• relationships take on a lower priority
• use aggressive behaviour to resolve conflicts
• autocratic, authoritative, and uncooperative; threatening and intimidating
• have a need to win; creating win-lose situations
• Advantage: If the shark's decision is correct, a better decision without
compromise can result
• Disadvantage: May breed hostility and resentment toward the person using it
• Appropriate times to use a Shark style
– when conflict involves personal differences that are difficult to change
– when fostering intimate or supportive relationships is not critical
– when others are likely to take advantage of non-competitive behaviour
– when conflict resolution is urgent; when decision is vital in crisis
– when unpopular decisions need to be implemented

12. What is YOUR conflict
management style?
• The Avoiding Turtle
• adopt an avoiding or withdrawing conflict management style
• would rather hide and ignore conflict than resolve it; this leads them uncooperative
and unassertive
• tend to give up personal goals and display passive behaviour creating lose-lose
situations
• Advantage: may help to maintain relationships that would be hurt by conflict resolution
• Disadvantage: Conflicts remain unresolved, overuse of the style leads to others
walking over them
• Appropriate times to use a Turtle Style:
– when the stakes are not high or issue is trivial
– when confrontation will hurt a working relationship
– when there is little chance of satisfying your wants
– when disruption outweighs benefit of conflict resolution
– when gathering information is more important than an immediate decision
– when others can more effectively resolve the conflict
– when time constraints demand a delay

13. What is YOUR conflict
management style?
• The Accommodating Teddy Bear
• use a smoothing or accommodating conflict management style with
emphasis on human relationships
• ignore their own goals and resolve conflict by giving into others;
unassertive and cooperative creating a win-lose (bear is loser) situation
• Advantage: Accommodating maintains relationships
• Disadvantage: Giving in may not be productive, bear may be taken
advantage of
• Appropriate times to use a Teddy Bear Style
– when maintaining the relationship outweighs other considerations
– when suggestions/changes are not important to the accommodator
– when minimizing losses in situations where outmatched or losing
– when time is limited or when harmony and stability are valued

14. What is YOUR conflict
management style?
• The Compromising Fox
• use a compromising conflict management style; concern is for goals and
relationships
• willing to sacrifice some of their goals while persuading others to give up
part of theirs
• Compromise is assertive and cooperative-result is either win-lose or lose-
lose
• Advantage: relationships are maintained and conflicts are removed
• Disadvantage: compromise may create less than ideal outcome and game
playing can result
• Appropriate times to use a Fox Style
– when important/complex issues leave no clear or simple solutions
– when all conflicting people are equal in power and have strong
interests in different solutions
– when their are no time restraints

15. What is YOUR conflict
management style?
• The Collaborating Owl
• use a collaborating or problem confronting conflict management style
valuing their goals and relationships
• view conflicts as problems to be solved finding solutions agreeable to all
sides (win-win)
• Advantage: both sides get what they want and negative feelings eliminated
• Disadvantage: takes a great deal of time and effort
• Appropriate times to use an Owl Style
– when maintaining relationships is important
– when time is not a concern
– when peer conflict is involved
– when trying to gain commitment through consensus building
– when learning and trying to merge differing perspectives

16. 10 Tips to Conflict Management
• Make it easy to raise issues
Make it easy for people to find a route to voicing their views. Make it easy for
them to approach the matter, while it is still a matter of concern. Don't wait for it
to be a ball of fire.
• Ask yourself whether this particular conflict
is bad
Conflict can be a good thing. It can get people thinking, and energise them into
finding a solution. It can prevent simmering undercurrents by bringing feelings
into the open, where they can be addressed. It can bring sudden realisations
about how things could change. Handled well, it's an energiser and stimulant.
• Label your emotions
Conflict can rapidly turn into emotional attacks. This often means that anger is
directed against a person, not the problem. That person then retaliates, and it
soon gets out of hand. You can avoid this by thinking first about the emotion
you're feeling, instead of about the person you see as responsible. Deal with the
anger, disappointment, fear, etc, before you start thinking about the people
involved.

17. 10 Tips to Conflict Management
• Look for signs that the conflict is damaging
If clients are making unpleasant remarks about the issue, the relationships need
improving. It might be necessary to call in mediators.
• Don't confront
Confronting clients literally, ie, standing in front of them, can give an aggressive
impression. It's better to sit next to each other, at an angle of around 45
degrees, so you can see each other, but are not front to front. Another way is to
go for a walk, so you are beside each other, and walking can use up energy that
might otherwise be directed into aggression.
• Stick to the issues
How long can you argue for without getting to the point? If it seems to be going
on for a long time, check that you are addressing issues, not going round in
circles, or scoring points with irrelevancies. It should be a discussion about
problems, not about people.

18. 10 Tips to Conflict Management
• Be specific
Make it clear what you actually want. Don't keep quiet to avoid embarrassment,
or go on the attack, making sarcastic remarks that leave your client wondering
what you actually mean. State what you see as the best outcome, and listen as
well.
• Create a pleasant environment
Keep it formal, but make a room available where disputants can sit comfortably,
not surrounded by boxes or distracted by background noise. Serve
refreshments. Let the only discomfort be dealing with the dispute.
• Get decisions into effect quickly
Once a solution has been agreed, get it implemented. If it can't happen
immediately, draw up a schedule which is rapid, but feasible, and make sure it
happens.
• Provide training in how to deal with conflict
in a productive way

19. Conflict indicators
• Body language
• Disagreements
• Withholding bad news
• Surprises
• Increasing lack of respect
• Open disagreement
• Lack of candor on trading matters
• Lack of clear goals

20. Active Listening
1. Get into groups of 4
2. One person in the group tells the rest
about a conflict case.
3. This person reports the case and asks
LISTEN
one question at the end. The others are
just actively listening and ask questions
to clarify their understanding.
4. The listeners then brainstorm
recommendations. Now the case
reporter is just listening.
University Counselling Conflict Resolution
Service
Curtin University of
Technology

21. To Manage a Conflict Within
Yourself - "Core Process"
It's often in the trying that we find solace, not in
getting the best solution. The following steps will
help you in this regard.
1. Name the conflict, or identify the issue, including
what you want that you aren't getting. Consider:
a. Writing your thoughts down to come to a
conclusion.
b. Talk to someone, including asking them to help
you summarize the conflict in 5
sentences or less.

22. To Manage a Conflict Within
Yourself - "Core Process"
2. Get perspective by discussing the issue
with your friend or by putting it down in
writing. Consider:
a. How important is this issue?
b. Does the issue seem worse because
you're tired, angry at something else, etc.?
c. What's your role in this issue?

23. To Manage a Conflict Within
Yourself - "Core Process"
3. Pick at least one thing you can do about the
conflict.
a. Identify at least three courses of action.
b. For each course, write at least three pros and
cons.
c. Select an action - if there is no clear course of
action, pick the alternative that will not hurt, or
be least hurtful, to yourself and others.
d. Briefly discuss that course of action with a
friend.

24. To Manage a Conflict Within
Yourself - "Core Process"
• 4. Then do something.
a. Wait at least a day before you do
anything about the conflict. This gives
you a cooling off period.
b. Then take an action.
c. Have in your own mind, a date when
you will act again if you see no clear
improvement.

25. To Manage a Conflict With
Another - "Core Process"
1. Know what you don't like about yourself,
early on in your career. We often don't like
in others what we don't want to see in
ourselves.
a. Write down 5 traits that really bug you
when see them in others.
b. Be aware that these traits are your "hot
buttons".

26. To Manage a Conflict With
Another - "Core Process"
2. Manage yourself. If you and/or the other person
are getting heated up, then manage yourself to
stay calm by
a. Speaking to the person as if the other person is
not heated up - this can be very
effective!
b. Avoid use of the word "you" - this avoids
blaming.
c. Nod your head to assure them you heard them.
d. Maintain eye contact with them.

27. To Manage a Conflict With
Another - "Core Process"
• 3. Move the discussion to a private area, if
possible.
• 4. Give the other person time to vent.
a. Don't interrupt them or judge what they
are saying.

28. To Manage a Conflict With
Another - "Core Process"
• 5. Verify that you're accurately hearing
each other. When they are done speaking
a. Ask the other person to let you rephrase
(uninterrupted) what you are hearing from
them to ensure you are hearing them.
b. To understand them more, ask open-
ended questions. Avoid "why" questions -
those questions often make people feel
defensive.

29. •THANK YOU