Loving yourself3 personal empowerment emotions behaviors tools-

Loving Yourself
Personal Empowerment
Emotions, Behaviors and Management
Tools

Dametrice A. Hayward

INTRODUCTION
Personal Management Tools program provides
opportunities to discover and explore past, present
and future events, relationships and daily living that
have impacted behaviors, reactions and decision
making. The program leads to greater self awareness,
designed to help people become aware of them, along
with self destructiveness. By accessing self knowledge
this program can be helpful in identifying emotional
issues and behavioral patterns that can help in the
healing process.

TABLE OF CONTENTS
TABLE OF CONTENTS
Phase I
Emotions – Giving Your Power Away...........................................................................
Abandonment ~ Powerlessness ~ Resentment ~ Sadness ~ Regret ~ Anger ~ Jealousy Need
~ Unworthy ~ Loneliness ~ Judgment ~ Temptation

Phase II
Behaviors – Reactions to Your Emotions………………...............................................
Resistance ~ Denial ~ Expectations ~ Controlling ~ Blaming Others ~ Victim ~ Beating
Up On Yourself ~ Reactions ~ Patterns ~ Manipulation

Phase III
The Way Out – Tools………………………………………………………………………
Courage ~ Open ~ Awareness ~ Acceptance ~ Feelings ~ Responsibility ~ Change ~
Surrender ~ Forgiveness ~ Gratitude ~ Truth ~ Integrity ~ Unconditional Love ~
Choice ~ Beliefs ~ Thought ~ Ego ~ Need To Be Right ~ Meaning ~ Create ~
Relationships ~ Practice

Loving Yourself
[Emotions]

(Giving Your Power Away)
[Different parts of your personality that has to be healed. They are also known as triggers.]

Abandonment
Wri te you r th ou ghts/feelin gs bel ow

Jealousy

Write you r th ou ghts/feelin gs bel ow

Powerlessness
Wri te y ou r th ou ghts/feelin gs bel ow

Need

Write y ou r th ou ghts/f eelin gs bel ow

Resentment


Unworthy

Write y ou r th ou ghts/feelin gs bel ow

Sadness


Loneliness

Wri te you r th ou ghts/f eelin gs bel ow

Regret


Judgment


Anger


Temptation


Don’t react. Make a conscious choice to select love above all else, for myself and for others. Always be aware of what’s going on. Don’t think
about it be about it. In order to have something different I have to be something different. I attract what I am. The different triggers listed
above are forms of fear and they are part of my personality which are painful and will be healed. Every time a trigger occurs, stop myself and
ask what part of myself is showing up. My attention will be focused on healing the parts of my personality that is triggered. Working on
myself can be very challenging but remember a challenge is an intention to change myself for the better.
Copyright © 2003 by Dametrice Ann

ANGER
Anger is a response to being frustrated, anger is also a belief that your self image is being questioned.
When you’re feeling this emotion your sense of personal power is being deprived and you feel
powerless. The core issue of anger is lack of self worth.
Anger is a barrier that disconnects you from others. It cripples you. You’re unable to move forward.
When your angry it’s much easier to blame others for how your feeling instead of finding out why your
so angry. People who are angry are in constant pain and this pain never goes away it gets buried
deeper and deeper until you can’t stand the pain any longer. When your in this much pain you become
unapproachable, lash at others and justify your negative behavior. You become judge and jury.
When you’re this angry you feel your incapable of being understood. But what is really showing up in
your life is your ego. Your ego is keeping you from seeing that you’re angry at yourself, not who you
think your angry with. Your never angry for the reason you think you are. Blaming others for the
choices you made is a lot easier than looking at yourself. Anger is your resistance to things not
looking the way you think they should look.
Anger
Resistance
Continue Being Angry

Recognize Opportunities
That Help You Get To The
Core Issue Of Being Angry

JUDGMENT
Judgment is scrutiny of people or events that you don’t identify with. When your being judgmental you have
imposed your principles and criticism upon another. Being judgmental says your closed to learning new
levels of understanding. Judgment means being critical to others reality.
People who judge feel superior to others. They use judgment as a weapon of defense for their own authority.
When we judge what people have done as right and wrong, what we are really telling them is how they think
or live is not valid There way is the better way and if you don’t act in accordance with what they think
something will be taken away from them. And it’s usually love and everyone wants to be loved including the
person that’s doing the judging.
Judgments are often based upon previous experiences of others and have very little value because they are
judgments you have incorporated into your truth as your own.
When you are feeling the emotion of being judgmental you are redirecting your attention from yourself to
others. It’s an issue of needing to be right. Everything has to meet your approval. Judging others is very
complex because when you’re judging others you are being resistant to seeing what you really don’t like
about yourself. And if you didn’t have the same characteristics you would not be judging or reacting to the
situation.
Until you can see judgment as opportunity to look at yourself you will continue to judge others.
Judgment
Right and Wrong
Resistance

Loving Yourself
[Behaviors]

(Reactions To Your Emotions)
[Painful behaviors that are challenging to recognize, but can and will be healed.]

Resistance
Write your thoughts/feelings below

Denial

Expectations

Controlling

Blaming
Others

Victim

Beating Up
On Yourself

Reactions

Manipulation

Patterns



Listed above are behaviors that you have been resisting. These above listed behaviors are reactions to your personality that haven’t been healed. When you
have been triggered by these behaviors it’s an opportunity to practice being and doing something different. Anyone can know this information in theory;
however it takes a committed person to incorporate this information into your life in order to change your life and move in a more positive direction.
Always remember to keep an open mind and not be resistant to what you’re going to find out about yourself. Always remember that if you accept that your
life hasn’t been working then it’s time to do something different. Be the change you want to see.

BLAMING OTHERS
Blame is avoidance of responsibility. People who are blaming others are negligent and
irresponsible. They haven’t acknowledged accountability for themselves. Blaming others
is giving your power away and a form of fear.
When you’re blaming others you are holding others responsible for what you are
accountable for. People who are blaming others never take notice of the part they have
played in creating their own mess in there lives. It’s always them not me. The entire
function of blaming others is to export responsibility to others and hoping we are be able
to steer away from the work that being responsible always entails.
Blaming others always involves passing the buck and making someone else responsibility
for fixing it. It happens everywhere. (Home, Work, Relationships and Family) They
delegate it to someone else or some where else. And in any given situation there always
looking outside themselves instead of looking at themselves.
Blaming Others
Victim
Taking Responsibility

REACTIONS
YOUR BUTTONS HAVE BEEN PUSHED!
When you've reacted it usually means that your buttons have been pushed. Your reacting to
a person or situation with confrontation and have little consideration or regard to the
consequences.
It’s imperative that you become aware of what pushes your buttons. Because the more you
know about what is likely to push your buttons, the more you can anticipate your reaction
and are less likely to react to others. When your in the midst of the behavior of reacting and
your conscious of what’s going on inside of you (feelings and thoughts) you can choose to
react in an apprioate manner and avoid devastating consequences.
When your reacting in a negative manner to what someone has said, some part of you
believes what the person has said or else why are you reacting? Why let it bother you if what
the person says is not true. Reacting can be used as a positive tool to find out what you
really think about yourself. If someone says something to you that triggers you, stop yourself
and ask yourself why are you triggered? Why are my buttons been pushed? What am I
believing about myself? The solution is keep the focus on yourself when your buttons have
been pushed. It has nothing to do with the other person and everything to do with you.

REACTING+ BUTTONS BEING PUSHED+AWARNESS=CHANGED BEHAVIORS

Loving Yourself
[Tools]

(Create A New Reality)
[Listed below are pain killers. If you want the pain to stop, this is the way out. ]

Courage

Open



Change

Surrender



Awareness

Forgiveness

Acceptance

Feelings

Responsibility


Gratitude

Truth

Integrity




Let these tools work together, to trigger everything hiding in the dark, to bring everything into the light. To heal, accept and create. The tools
listed above were created to guide you, and bring you the results that your heart desires. It’s life changing only if you apply this information
to your life. This takes practice. Practice gets the results you desire. If you continue to react negatively it will only produce the same results
over and over again. Every time a trigger occurs, stop and ask yourself, is this the result I desire?
If it’s not be aware of your thoughts and beliefs. Then make another choice.

Loving Yourself

CONTINUED

[Tools]

(Create A New Reality)
[Listed below are pain killers. If you want the pain to stop, this is the way out. ]

Unconditional
Love

Choice

Beliefs

Thought



Meaning

Create

Relationships




Ego


Need To Be
Right


Practice


Let these tools work together, to trigger everything hiding in the dark, to bring everything into the light. To heal, accept and create. The tools
listed above were created to guide you, and bring you the results that your heart desires. It’s life changing only if you apply this information
to your life. This takes practice. Practice gets the results you desire. If you continue to react negatively it will only produce the same results
over and over again. Every time a trigger occurs, stop and ask yourself, is this the result I desire?
If it’s not be aware of your thoughts and beliefs. Then make another choice.

NEED TO BE RIGHT
People who need to be right are cynical, close off and unreceptive. They are unwilling to hear
another’s point of view. There persistent in there way of thinking, and believes what is true for
them is true for everyone and becoming outraged when people disagree.
The backbone of the need to be right is conflict. Conflict is the only solution if you don’t give up
the need to be right. Right and wrong are tools that are used in the conflict. All forms of the ego.
When the need to be right is triggered it’s usually because of an disagreement and the person
involved will not give up until there right. They will do anything to be right including being
happy. The question is do you want to be happy or be right? When engaging in an argument you
have to stop yourself, step back from the situation and expand your perception. You have to take
responsibility for the part you played in the conflict rather than blaming another.
When resolving a conflict let go of the past and focus on the healing. Try and let go of your ego.
Keep the conflict between the people involved. Don’t tell the story to others, to build alliances
against that person. And, you have to talk, listen don’t react. Respect each others feelings. Ask
yourself if the relationship is important enough to save. Always try to remember when your in a
conflicting situation it’s a chance for growth and an opportunity to learn. Show compassion and
come up with a solution.
Conflicts
Need to right
Judgment

Let Go Of Ego

THE MEANING YOU GIVE THINGS
Your story consist of thought, feelings and actions
THOUGHTS
Thought is nothing more than an notion fabricated in your psyche that sometimes is not
reality.
FEELINGS
Feelings are created by thoughts.
Your feelings create behaviors, and your feeling are a clear indication of what your
thinking.
ACTIONS
Actions are the reactions to your thoughts and feelings.
What you are thinking are thoughts that you have given meaning to. Thoughts have no
meaning unless you give meaning to them. You have to realize that how your feeling can
be changed when you change the meaning you give situations or circumstances. When
you change meanings, thoughts and feeling changes automatically. If your having a
destructive thought and your feeling dreadful, what kind of actions are you going to
express?
SO BE AWARE OF THE MEANING YOU GIVE THINGS BECAUSE USUALLY IT
DOESN’T MEAN ANYTHING.

PRACTICE

In closing, in order to see successful changes in your life it’s imperative to practice
the tools enclosed in this phase. While practing there will be times when you will
think, this is not working. You will have set backs and you will experience levels of
the same issue returning. This is the time when you must continue. You have to
remember that the issues you have occurred are not going to vanish over night. It
going to take time, so be patient with yourself and don’t give up on yourself. Know
that everything happens in divine time and your circumstances will get better. If you
don’t practice you will continue to see the same results over and over again.
The tools enclosed really work. You have to be consistent when applying the enclosed
tools. Repetition is required. And always remember this is work in progress. This
process requires constant awareness of your emotions, behaviors, thoughts and
beliefs.
There are some things that you are going to find out about yourself and it’s going to
be very difficult to acknowledge, it will be painful. However you can do it. Don’t ever
give up. Because whether you recognize it or not, you’re going to do this work
regardless. So, it would be best to continue consciously instead of unconsciously.
PRACTICE, PRACTICE, PRACTICE
PRACTICE IS REQUIRED EVERYWHERE,LOVE RELATIONSHIPS, WORK,
FINACES, WHERE YOU LIVE AND FAMILY
WITHOUT PRACTICE IT’S JUST THEROY

Loving yourself3 personal empowerment emotions behaviors tools-

Recomendados

Recomendados

Más contenido relacionado

La actualidad más candente

La actualidad más candente (20)

Similar a Loving yourself3 personal empowerment emotions behaviors tools-

Similar a Loving yourself3 personal empowerment emotions behaviors tools- (20)

Último

Último (20)

Loving yourself3 personal empowerment emotions behaviors tools-

Notas del editor