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Gresham’s Model of a
Healthy Relationship with
         Money
          Dr. Mary Gresham
   2801 Buford Highway Suite 260
          Atlanta, Ga. 30329
            404-320-6510
  www.atlantafinancialpsychology.com
What is your
   definition of a
healthy relationship
   with money?
Why define it?
 Your model influences your work
  beyond your awareness
 Your clients will benefit by
  looking at their own definitions
 If you don’t, someone else will.

 This works helps you connect
  with your clients at a deeper level.
Mathematical/Rational
  Values/Spiritual
 Emotional/Relational
       Process
A Whole Relationship with
           Money
Gives a theoretical framework for a
healthy relationship with money that
is easily understood by clients.
When asked about, defines the client
relationship.
Helps us define the strengths and
weaknesses of clients in a non-
judgmental way.
Mathematical/Rational
Rational/Mathema
       tical
 This type of discourse is
  purely rational and
  numerically based
 Where many financial
  professionals are most
  comfortable and prefer to
  connect.
Examples
Your portfolio decreased 4% in the
 first quarter of the year. The
 primary contributor was the poor
 performance of the XYZ fund but
 that was partly offset by the
 performance of the ABC fund
Mathematical/Rational
   Must have skills to track spending, savings,
    net worth, make investment choices, plan
    for retirement
   For some clients, this is the last level of
    development
   For some clients, this is level at which they
    want to connect first and/or the only level
    of interest
Mathematical/Rational
Values/Spiritual
Values/Spiritual
   Refers to important and enduring
    thoughts, beliefs, ideals and
    attitudes towards money.
Values/Spiritual
 Refers to important and enduring
  thoughts, beliefs, ideals and
  attitudes towards money.
 Determines guidelines for
  behavior
Values/Spiritual
 Refers to important and enduring
  thoughts, beliefs, ideals and
  attitudes towards money.
 Determines guidelines for
  behavior
Often assumed but not articulated
“See? Isn’t this better than being happy?”
Values Conversations
 How much of your eligible
contribution will you be putting in
your retirement fund this year?
 Are you giving to a charity this
  year?
 What kind of trust do you wish to
  set up for your children?
Values conversations

   Safe, non-judgmental, structured
Values conversations

   Safe, non-judgmental, structured


   Differences acknowledged and
    integrated
Values conversations

   Safe, non-judgmental, structured


   Differences acknowledged and
    integrated


   Related to age, gender, culture,
    behavior
Money and Meaning

   Project done at the Ackerman Institute
    in New York with financial advisers
    and therapists collaborating to
    identify a values framework for money
    conversations
   Card sort activity that is fun and
    engaging
Examples
   Personal            Recreational
    Spiritual          Material
   Economic            Public Service
   Philanthropy        Financial
   Relationships,      Physical
   Culture             Ethical.
   Work
   Educational
Benefits of values work

   Using values helps guide decisions

   Identification of discrepancy between
    behavior and values can be addressed

   Looking at the areas of discrepancy
    promotes working on the underlying
    issues
Exercise

   How did your values apply to your
    most recent financial decision?


This exercise opens the door to discuss
 a discrepancy between beliefs and
 behavior.
Mathematical/Rational
    Values/Spiritual
  Emotional/Relational
Emotional/symbolic
           conversations
 Non-verbal cues are most important
    indicators that the person is operating
    on the emotive level:
   Voice tone
   Breathing
   Body language
   Facial expression
Emotional/Symbolic

   Where many financial professionals
    become uncomfortable
   Lack of framework makes it harder to
    deal with emotions about money
   Where women can be most engaged in
    the issues about money
    Men are socialized to avoid this realm
Connecting at the
    emotional/symbolic level
 Where you can differentiate
  yourself and your practice
 Develop skills and a model for
  this area
 Look at your own money issues or
  develop a relationship with a
  counseling professional
Emotions signal core concerns

   Appreciation

   Affiliation

   Autonomy

   Status

   Role
Mathematical/Rational
  Values/Spiritual
 Emotional/Relational
       Process
Process

   Learning how to step out of an
    interaction and comment on what is
    happening
   A learned skill
   Reduces conflict and gives a
    framework for the interaction
Process commentary


   There seems to be a lot of tension in
    the room when we talk about
    implementing a spending plan.
   Although you say you are happy with
    this plan, I notice that you are not
    following it. Can you help me
    understand that?
Process values cards

   Inclusive: all included
   Exclusive: some excluded based on
    age, gender, bloodline
   Collaborative
   Egalitarian: equality is the defining
    principle
   Transparent: open to all
Process Values Cards
   Transparent: open to all
   Hierarchical: one individual
    dominates, autocratic
   Empowerment: other members
    authorized for decisions
   Dialogue: encourage discussion and
    hear all points of view
   Reflective: research and gather info,
    contemplate and explore
Types of process

   What are other process descriptions
    you have noted in working with
    clients?
All levels are important

   Example: certain financial decisions
    may work well at the math level but
    not at the values or emotional level
   Example: certain decisions may work
    well at the process level but not at the
    values level
Financial health

   When all levels are addressed
   When conflicts are acknowledged
    between levels and worked through
   A process that never ends




Mary Gresham, Ph.D.   Atlanta Financial Psychology

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A Whole Relationship with Money

  • 1. Gresham’s Model of a Healthy Relationship with Money Dr. Mary Gresham 2801 Buford Highway Suite 260 Atlanta, Ga. 30329 404-320-6510 www.atlantafinancialpsychology.com
  • 2. What is your definition of a healthy relationship with money?
  • 3. Why define it?  Your model influences your work beyond your awareness  Your clients will benefit by looking at their own definitions  If you don’t, someone else will.  This works helps you connect with your clients at a deeper level.
  • 4. Mathematical/Rational Values/Spiritual Emotional/Relational Process
  • 5. A Whole Relationship with Money Gives a theoretical framework for a healthy relationship with money that is easily understood by clients. When asked about, defines the client relationship. Helps us define the strengths and weaknesses of clients in a non- judgmental way.
  • 7. Rational/Mathema tical  This type of discourse is purely rational and numerically based  Where many financial professionals are most comfortable and prefer to connect.
  • 8. Examples Your portfolio decreased 4% in the first quarter of the year. The primary contributor was the poor performance of the XYZ fund but that was partly offset by the performance of the ABC fund
  • 9. Mathematical/Rational  Must have skills to track spending, savings, net worth, make investment choices, plan for retirement  For some clients, this is the last level of development  For some clients, this is level at which they want to connect first and/or the only level of interest
  • 11. Values/Spiritual  Refers to important and enduring thoughts, beliefs, ideals and attitudes towards money.
  • 12. Values/Spiritual  Refers to important and enduring thoughts, beliefs, ideals and attitudes towards money.  Determines guidelines for behavior
  • 13. Values/Spiritual  Refers to important and enduring thoughts, beliefs, ideals and attitudes towards money.  Determines guidelines for behavior Often assumed but not articulated
  • 14. “See? Isn’t this better than being happy?”
  • 15. Values Conversations How much of your eligible contribution will you be putting in your retirement fund this year?  Are you giving to a charity this year?  What kind of trust do you wish to set up for your children?
  • 16. Values conversations  Safe, non-judgmental, structured
  • 17. Values conversations  Safe, non-judgmental, structured  Differences acknowledged and integrated
  • 18. Values conversations  Safe, non-judgmental, structured  Differences acknowledged and integrated  Related to age, gender, culture, behavior
  • 19. Money and Meaning  Project done at the Ackerman Institute in New York with financial advisers and therapists collaborating to identify a values framework for money conversations  Card sort activity that is fun and engaging
  • 20. Examples  Personal  Recreational  Spiritual  Material  Economic  Public Service  Philanthropy  Financial  Relationships,  Physical  Culture  Ethical.  Work  Educational
  • 21. Benefits of values work  Using values helps guide decisions  Identification of discrepancy between behavior and values can be addressed  Looking at the areas of discrepancy promotes working on the underlying issues
  • 22. Exercise  How did your values apply to your most recent financial decision? This exercise opens the door to discuss a discrepancy between beliefs and behavior.
  • 23. Mathematical/Rational Values/Spiritual Emotional/Relational
  • 24.
  • 25. Emotional/symbolic conversations  Non-verbal cues are most important indicators that the person is operating on the emotive level:  Voice tone  Breathing  Body language  Facial expression
  • 26. Emotional/Symbolic  Where many financial professionals become uncomfortable  Lack of framework makes it harder to deal with emotions about money  Where women can be most engaged in the issues about money Men are socialized to avoid this realm
  • 27. Connecting at the emotional/symbolic level  Where you can differentiate yourself and your practice  Develop skills and a model for this area  Look at your own money issues or develop a relationship with a counseling professional
  • 28. Emotions signal core concerns  Appreciation  Affiliation  Autonomy  Status  Role
  • 29. Mathematical/Rational Values/Spiritual Emotional/Relational Process
  • 30. Process  Learning how to step out of an interaction and comment on what is happening  A learned skill  Reduces conflict and gives a framework for the interaction
  • 31. Process commentary  There seems to be a lot of tension in the room when we talk about implementing a spending plan.  Although you say you are happy with this plan, I notice that you are not following it. Can you help me understand that?
  • 32. Process values cards  Inclusive: all included  Exclusive: some excluded based on age, gender, bloodline  Collaborative  Egalitarian: equality is the defining principle  Transparent: open to all
  • 33. Process Values Cards  Transparent: open to all  Hierarchical: one individual dominates, autocratic  Empowerment: other members authorized for decisions  Dialogue: encourage discussion and hear all points of view  Reflective: research and gather info, contemplate and explore
  • 34. Types of process  What are other process descriptions you have noted in working with clients?
  • 35. All levels are important  Example: certain financial decisions may work well at the math level but not at the values or emotional level  Example: certain decisions may work well at the process level but not at the values level
  • 36. Financial health  When all levels are addressed  When conflicts are acknowledged between levels and worked through  A process that never ends Mary Gresham, Ph.D. Atlanta Financial Psychology