Workplace Conflict Management Training

TRAINING ON WORKPLACE CONFLICT
MANAGEMENT
Dr.E.J.Sarma
● October -2015
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Dr.Sarma-Conflictmanagement

KEY LEARNING POINTS/GOALS FOR TODAY
Understand the
Terminology ,
conflict types.
The strategy for resolution

SESSION 1
• Session 1-approx-1 ½ hours
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AGENDA
• Introduction
• Understanding the concept
• Types of workplace conflict-
Personal/Interpersonal/Team
• Levels and Types of Conflict in Organizations
• The Sources of Conflict in Organizations
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AGENDA
• Conflict of Personal level
/groups/communities/nations
• Conflict with Boss/Harassment
• Conflict Processes
• Clash of values/principles
• Resolution strategies
• Few of the greatest corporate conflicts
• Role of mentor/religion
• Sum up
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ENTRY BEHAVIOR
• Write 3 of your belief about conflicts
• Think of one incident in your personal life
where you
• were involved in conflict. What role you
played
• And how did you feel about the outcome
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CHECK THE MENTAL MODEL
•Conflict is battle of nerves and
outcome is dependent on
personalities
•Someone has to lose and win- win is
never possible as outcome
•There is no techniques that can be
used to work through a conflict
successfully so everybody wins
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CHECKING BELIEF
• You must hire people from same culture to
get common view
• Committees can not resolve conflicts
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MENTAL MODEL
The famoui aqage, “jlo heaqi are
rejjer jhan one” ii preciieln arouj jhe
advantages of conflict, for it assumes
that two minds will have separate
perspectives, experiences, and ideas.
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MENTAL MODEL
• Diversity and communication are hallmarks
of a great team, and the occasional root
cause of clashes in the office.
• Conflicj ii a gooq jhing; ij’i our reiponie
that makes conflict either a creative or
destructive process.
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MENTAL MODEL ?
✕ Is Conflict every day
occurrence?
✕ With family or friends,
boss,
co-workers or
customers.
✕ Conflict will occur and
Criticality is , how we
understand, resolve and
learn from it
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EXERCISE ON MENTAL
MODELS
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What do you see and what is the arrangement

WHAT DO YOU SEE ?
WHAT IS THE ARRANGEMENT ?
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Most people perceive line B as being longer,
holeker if nou meaiure jhem nou’ll iee jhaj
they are the same length.
□ The figure is known as the Muller-Lyer illusion
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□ The illusion is explained by psychologists as a
result of our familiarity with corners of
buildings and rooms. The line on the left looks
like the corner of a building seen from the
outside while the line on the right looks like the
corner of a building viewed from the inside.
□ If the two lines project the same sized image
onto the retina yet line A appears to be closer,
than the brain must compensate for this
difference and perceive line B as longer.
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IS THE INNER SHAPE CIRCLE?
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PLEASE READ IN ONE GO
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Bird in
the
The
hand
Once in
A
A life
time
Paris in the
The spring

HERE IS A FAMOUS 'IMPOSSIBLE OBJECT',
SOMETIMES KNOWN AS THE DEVIL'S PITCHFORK...
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DEVIL’S FKRH
□ After looking at it for a few moments, turn
away and try drawing it. Are there three
prongs or only two?
□ given the paradoxical name of 'the two-
pronged trident'.
□ It is an impossible object since it could not
be constructed in three dimensions - it only
appears to be in three dimensions at first
glance.
□ You have to look quite carefully in order to
realize this. This figure confuses many 26
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DEVIL’S FKRH
□ The confusion arises from trying to
interpret it as a three-dimensional figure.
Deregowski (1969) found that people who
habitually ascribed three-dimensionality to
pictures had more difficulty in
reproducing this figure than people who
did not seek to impose three-
dimensionality on images.
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DEVIL’S FKRH
□ The shorter the prongs the less easily
fooled we are, which suggests that in the
illusory version we are less able to relate
one part to another.
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EXERCISE YOUR BRAIN
□ Try this one:
Say the color the word is printed in not the
word itself. Do it without a mistake in under 15
seconds.
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FAMILIARITY OF SHAPE IS ALSO AN EXPLANATION OF
THE ILLUSION GENERATED BY A SPECIAL 'ROOM'
CALLED 'THE AMES ROOM'
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SUM UP
□ Similarity
□ Proximity
□ Contour
□ Context
□ Bias
Perception is vitiated by all these and is
complex process. hence most of our
judgment can go wrong
Be very conscious of this while judging and
concluding
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I HAVE MENTIONED THAT SITUATIONAL CONTEXTS
GENERATE CERTAIN (SHORT-TERM) EXPECTATIONS
BUT IT IS WORTH NOTING IN PASSING THAT
EXPECTATIONS MAY ALSO BE SET UP BY LONGER-
TERM INFLUENCES - SUCH AS BY STEREOTYPES,
PREJUDICES AND PAST EXPERIENCE
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□ The chaser dot is not pink but as in (fig. 4) it takes on the colour of
the background. It is possible you see an afterimage of the pink
dot in this example, but you find that it actually fights with the
movement of the chaser dot. Thus the very hypothesis on which
the persistence of vision rests, does not in fact actually account for
the movement of this phantom dot - if anything the after image
tends to gets in the way of the perception of movement and you
have to try to ignore it.
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CONFLICT AND MENTAL MODELS
FOR MANAGEMENT
• There are only five generally acknowledged styles
for dealing with conflict:
• compromising, avoiding, integrating, dominating
and obliging.
• Those whose style is compromising tend to be
"middle of the road" in their conflict management.
They want both parties to gain some, but both will
also need to give a little as well.
• Those who avoid, as their style suggests, simply
leave the conflict altogether. Integrators tend to be
open to others' differences and try to come to an
understanding that satisfies both parties.
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CONFLICT AND MENTAL MODEL
Not every conflict warrants a confrontation
need is attitude to attempt to sort it out.
Conflicts arise not so much because of what
the other person said or did, but because of
our sensitive trigger
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MENTAL MODEL
• Some conflict in our life can be dispensed
with easily and without a big effort when
we know our conflict hooks and how to un-
snag yourself.
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CONFLICT AND MENTAL
MODEL
• Those who dominate are primarily
concerned with their own desires and do not
readily compromise, while those who oblige
are willing to give up what they want to
make everyone happy.
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CONFLICT-?
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Write alternate words for
Conflict

UNDERSTAND THE CONCEPT -
DEFINITION
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Dispute, Quarrel , Squabble , Taking
stand
Disagreement, Opposition, Discord,
Deviation , Clash, Fight, Quarrel
Contradiction,
Irreconcilable , Deviation

In dealing with conflict always keep these
Key elements in mind
Interdependency of parties
Perception of incompatible goals
Context of Conflict Situations
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● Remember conflict may involve
● Disagreements
● Debates
● Disputes
● Obstruction -Preventing someone from
reaching valued goals
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WHAT CONFLICT INVOLVES
• Conflict is not always bad for organization(50 most
famous corporate conflicts)
• Do not need to reduce all conflict
• Ebb and flow of during conflict resolution process
• An inevitable part of workplace life
• Needed for growth and survival
• Conflict management strategy may include
increasing and decreasing intensity of conflict
• Major management responsibility
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FUNCTIONAL AND
DYSFUNCTIONAL CONFLICT
• Functional conflict: Involved parties work
toward the goals of an organization or group
• Dysfunctional conflict: Parties block an
organization or group from reaching the
goals
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FUNCTIONAL AND
• Functional conflict
● Increases information and ideas
● Encourages innovative thinking
● Unshackles different points of view
● Reduces stagnation
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FUNCTIONAL AND
(CONT.)
• Dysfunctional high conflict
● Tension, anxiety, stress
● Drives out low conflict tolerant people
● Reduced trust
● Poor decisions because of withheld or distorted
information
● Excessive management focus on the conflict
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BEHIND CONFLICTS
• Ideologies
• Ego/hubris
• Power/status
• Greed
• Opposing just for the sake of –as in politics
• Perceived Threats
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FUNCTIONAL AND DYSFUNCTIONAL
CONFLICT (CONT.)
• Dysfunctional low conflict
● Few new ideas
● Poor decisions from lack of innovation and
information
● Stagnation
● Business as usual
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LEVELS AND TYPES OF
CONFLICT
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Individual
Group
Organization
Type of
conflict
Level of
conflict
Within and between
organizations
Intra/inter group
Within and between
individuals

LEVELS AND TYPES OF
CONFLICT (CONT.)
Intra organizational conflict
Conflict that occurs within an organization
At interfaces of organization functions
Can occur along the vertical and horizontal
dimensions of the organization
Vertical conflict: between managers and subordinates
Horizontal conflict: between departments and work
groups
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LEVELS AND TYPES OF
CONFLICT (CONT.)
• Intragroup conflict
● Conflict among members of a group-jealousy-
rivalry
● Early stages of group development
● Ways of doing tasks or reaching group's goals
• Intergroup conflict: between two or more
groups-competition VS collaboration
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LEVELS AND TYPES OF
CONFLICT (CONT.)
Interpersonal conflict
Between two or more people
Differences in views about what should be
done
Efforts to get more
Differences in orientation to work and time in
different parts of an organization
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LEVELS AND TYPES OF
CONFLICT (CONT.)
Intrapersonal conflict
Occurs within an individual
Threaj jo a perion’i kaluei
Feeling of unfair treatment
Multiple and contradictory sources of socialization
Related to the Theory of Cognitive Dissonance
(Chapter 5) and negative inequity (Chapter 8)
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LEVELS AND TYPES
OF CONFLICT (CONT.)
• Interorganizational conflict
● Between two or more organizations
● Not competition
● Examples: suppliers and distributors, especially
with the close links now possible
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TEAM CONFLICT REASONS
• There are many reasons for conflict within a
team or between teams. One way to simplify
the source of the conflict is to examine
whether the conflict is task-based or if it
stems from a relational issue.
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TEAM CONFLICT REASONS
• This separation is often helpful because,
task-based conflict is productive while
relationship-based conflict is destructive
to the desired outcome.
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CONFLICT STAGES
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Latent conflict
Conflict aftermath
Manifest conflict
Simple conflict episode

CONFLICT LEVELS
Latent conflict: antecedents of conflict
and past behavior that can start conflict
episode
Manifest conflict: observable conflict
behavior
Conflict aftermath
End of a conflict episode
Often the starting point of a related episode
Becomes the latent conflict for another
episode
Conflict reduction: lower the conflict
level
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CONFLICT MANIFESTATIONS
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Latent conflict
Conflict aftermath
Manifest conflict
Conflict reduction

The antecedents
of conflict
Example: scarce
resources
Latent conflict
Manifest
conflict
Conflict
aftermath

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Observable conflict
behavior
Example:
disagreement,
discussion
Latent conflict
Manifest
conflict
Conflict
aftermath

Some latent conflict
● Parking spaces-Ego /status symbol
● Use of copying machines- fear of resource
sharing-jealousy
● Computer – Mobile-power-status
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Manifest conflict
Latent conflict
Conflict
aftermath
Residue of a
conflict episode
Example:
compromise in
allocating scarce
resources leaves both
parties with less than
they wanted

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Latent conflict
Manifest conflict
Conflict
aftermath
Perceived
conflict
Felt conflict
Conflict
reduction

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End session 1
Key learning points

• Perceived conflict
● Become aware that one is in conflict with
another party
● Attempt to block out some conflict
● Can perceive conflict when no latent conditions
exist
● Emample: miiunqerijanqing anojher perion’i
position on an issue
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CONFLICT EPISODES (CONT.)
• Felt conflict
● Emotional part of conflict
● Personalizing the conflict
● Oral and physical hostility
● Hard to manage episodes with high felt conflict
● What people likely recall about conflict
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RELATIONSHIPS AMONG
CONFLICT PROCESS
• Process links through the connection latent
origin of conflict to aftermath .
• Effective conflict management: break the
connection
• Discover the latency of conflicts and remove
them
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CONFLICT FRAMES AND
ORIENTATIONS
Conflict frames
Perceptual sets that people bring to conflict
episodes
Perceptual filters
• Remove some information from an episode
• Emphasize other information in an episode
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CONFLICT FRAMES AND
ORIENTATIONS (CONT.)
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Relationship-Task
Emotional-Intellectual
Cooperate-Win
Conflict
frame

CONFLICT FRAMES
AND ORIENTATIONS (CONT.)
• Conflict frame dimensions
Relationship-Task
• Relationship: focuses on interpersonal relationships
• Task: focuses on material aspects of a result
Emotional-Intellectual
• Emotional: focuses on feelings in the conflict episode
(felt conflict)
• Intellectual: focuses on observed behavior (manifest
conflict)
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CONFLICT FRAMES
• Conflict frame dimensions (cont.)
● Cooperate-Win
• Cooperate: emphasizes the role of all parties to the
conflict
• Win: wants to maximize personal gain
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CONFLICT FRAMES AND
• Conflict frames
● Limited research results
• End an episode with a relationship or intellectual
frame: feel good about relationship with other party
• Cooperation-focused people end with more positive
results than those focused on winning
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CONFLICT FRAMES AND
• Conflict orientations
● Dominance: wants to win; conflict is a battle
● Collaborative: wants to find a solution that
satisfies everyone
● Compromise: splits the differences
● Avoidance: backs away
● Accommodative: focuses on desires of other
party
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CONFLICT FRAMES
• Can change during conflict progress
How firmly the person holds position
● Importance of the issues to the person
● Perception of opponent's power
• Collaborative orientation: more positive
long-term benefits than the others
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CONFLICT FRAMES AND
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Avoidance
Accommodative
Dominance
CompromiseCollaborative
Conflict aftermath
High residueNo residue
Conflict orientation and the conflict aftermath

CONFLICT AND ORIENTATIONS
(CONT.)
• Combinations of conflict orientations in a
group
● Dominance, avoidance
● Dominance, dominance
● Avoidance, avoidance
● Dominance, collaborative, compromise
● Collaborative, compromise, avoidance
● Collaborative, compromise, avoidance,
dominance, accommodative
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LATENT CONFLICT: THE
SOURCES OF CONFLICT IN
ORGANIZATIONS
• Antecedents to conflict
• Many natural conditions of organizations act
as latent conflicts
• Lurk in the background; trigger conflict
when right conditions occur
• Does not always lead to manifest conflict
• Give us clues about how to reduce
dysfunctional high conflict
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ORGANIZATIONS (CONT.)
• Some representative latent conflict
● Scarce resources: money, equipment, facilities
● Organizational differentiation: different
orientations in different parts of organization
● Rules, procedures, policies: behavioral guides
that can cause clashes
● Cohesive groups: value and orientation
differences among groups
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• Some representative latent conflict (cont.)
● Interdependence: forces interaction
● Communication barriers: shift work and jargon
● Ambiguous jurisdictions: areas of authority not clearly
defined
● Reward systems: reward different behavior in different
parts of the organization
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CONFLICT OF INTEREST
A term used to describe the situation in which a pub
lic official or fiduciary who, contrary to the
obligation and absolute duty to act for the
benefit of the public or a designated individual,
exploits the relationship for personal benefit,
typically pecuniary.
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SESSION-2
Estimated time 1 hour
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CONFLICT MANAGEMENT
MODEL
Maintain conflict at functional levels
● Not complete elimination
● Reducing to functional levels
● Increasing dysfunction ally low conflict
● Choose desired level of conflict based on
perceived conflict requirements
● Varies in different parts of an organization
● Ianager’i tolerance for conflict plays a role
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ORGANIZATIONAL CONFLICT
MANAGEMENT MODEL
(CONT.)
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Perceived conflict requirements
Desired conflict level
Organizational
culture
Fast-changing
environment
Product or
service

CONFLICT MANAGEMENT
MODEL
(CONT.)
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Norma
l
Increas
e
conflict
Decrea
se
conflict
Dysfunctional
low conflict
Dysfunction ally
high conflict

CONFLICT MANAGEMENT
MODEL
(CONT.)
• Symptoms of dysfunction ally high conflict
● Low trust or high mistrust
● Information distortion/withholding
● Tension/antagonism/confrontation
● Stress/anger
● Sarojage of ojher parjn’i injereij
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CONFLICT MANAGEMENT
MODEL
(CONT.)
• Symptoms of dysfunction ally low conflict
● Deny differences
● Repress controversial information
● Prohibit disagreements
● Avoid interactions
● Walk away from conflict episode
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REDUCING /RESOLVING
CONFLICT
● Lose-lose methods: parties to the conflict
episode do not get what they want
● Win-lose methods: one party a clear winner;
other party a clear loser
● Win-win methods: each party to the conflict
episode gets what he or she wants
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REDUCING CONFLICT (CONT.)
• Lose-lose methods
● Avoidance
• Withdraw, stay away
• Does not permanently reduce conflict
● Compromise
• Bargain, negotiate
• Each loses something valued
● Smoothing: find similarities
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• Win-lose methods
● Dominance
• Overwhelm other party
• Overwhelms an avoidance orientation
● Authoritative command: decision by person in
authority
● Majority rule: voting
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• Win-win methods
● Problem solving: find root causes
● Integration: meet interests and desires of all
parties
● Superordinate goal: desired by all but not
reachable alone
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• Summary
● Lose-lose methods: compromise
● Win-lose methods: dominance
● Win-win methods: problem solving
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WIN/WIN
LOSE/LOSE
WIN/LOSE
LOSE/WIN
WIN
NO DEAL
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Negotiation outcome possibilities

NEWT TIIE I SUGGEST XKU TRX “VIN-
VIN” NEGKTIJTING”
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INCREASING CONFLICT
• Increase conflict when it is dysfunctionally
low
● Heterogeneous groups: members have different
backgrounds
● Deuil’s aduocate: offers alternative views
● Organizational culture: values and norms that
embrace conflict and debate
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Some Negotiating lessons are tough
to take...
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CONFLICT INSIGHTS
• Possible positive effects of conflict
• Latent conflict
• Conflict aftermath
• Conflict episodes
• Links between episodes
• Latent conflict and methods of reduction
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HANDLING EMOTIONS
113
Emotional Challenges
Anger/exasperation
Insulted
Guilt
False flattery
Recommended
Response
Allow venting. Probe
for why
Vhaj loulqn’j re
insulting?
Focus on issues
Re-focus

CONFLICT REASONS
• Excessive personal use of the Internet or
official email
• Poor attendance / time-keeping
• Any form of bullying behavior or
harassment
• Any form of discriminatory behavior
• Unacceptable language
• Theft
• Alcohol/ drug problems.
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CONFLICT GENERATING CAUSES
• Tahing creqij for ojher people’i lorh or
stealing ideas
• Talking over people in meetings
• Not inviting team members to team /social
events
• Not rendering help by covering for people
when they are off sick
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CONFLICT REASONS
• Not taking messages for people
• uiing iomeone elie’i conjacji or
information without permission
• not including people in important emails
• ignoring or being discourteous
• Poor personal hygiene
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ASPECTS OF CONFLICT IN
ORGANIZATIONS
• Cultures that emphasize individualism and
competition
● Positively value conflict
● English-speaking countries, the Netherlands,
Italy, Belgium
• Cultures that emphasize collaboration,
cooperation, conformity
● Negatively value conflict
● Many Asian –Japanese and Latin American
countries; Portugal, Greece, Turkey
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✕Cultural differences imply different functional
conflict levels
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• Cross-cultural research has dealt with
intergroup processes
• Collaborative and cooperative cultures
expect little conflict during intergroup
interactions
• Favor suppression of conflict with little
discussion about people's feelings
• Felt conflict likely part of some conflict
episodes but hidden from public view
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INTERNATIONAL ASPECTS OF
CONFLICT IN ORGANIZATIONS
(CONT.)
• Managers from an individualistic country
operating in a less individualistic country
● Acceptable to express feelings during a conflict
episode
● Suppression of feelings could baffle them
● Increasing conflict can confuse local people
● Almost immediate dysfunctional results
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ETHICAL ISSUES IN CONFLICT IN
ORGANIZATIONS'
Tolerance for conflict
● Manager with a high tolerance for conflict;
keeps conflict levels too high for subordinates
● Should such managers reveal their intentions
about desired conflict levels?
● Full disclosure: subordinates could leave the
group if conflict levels became dysfunction ally
stressful
● Ethical question applies equally to newly hired
employees
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ETHICAL ISSUES IN
(CONT.)
Deliberately increasing conflict is an effort
to guide behavior in a desired direction
● Subtle methods of increasing conflict (forming
heterogeneous groups) connote manipulation
● Full disclosure: manager states his intention to
use conflict to generate ideas and innovation
● If people are free to join a group or not, the
ethical issue likely subsides
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ETHICAL ISSUES IN
(CONT.)
• Experiencing intrapersonal conflict
● Requests to act against one's moral values
● Observing behavior that one considers unethical
• Reduce intrapersonal conflict
● Report unethical acts
● Transfer to another part of the organization
● Quit
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ETHICAL ISSUES IN
(CONT.)
Different cultures place different values
on conflict
● Optimal conflict levels vary among countries
● Lower levels conflict in collectivistic countries
than individualistic countries
● Corruption and bribe is way of life in our
country while other nations deal with it at very
high level
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CULTURE INFLUENCE AND
CONFLICT HANDLING
• Uchi-Soto ("Us and Them")-one will notice
about the Japanese. They have been raised
to think of themselves as part of a group,
and their group is always dealing with other
groups.
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CONFLICT HANDLING
• Dealing with Japanese on a one-to-one basis
usually is very easy to non-Japanese, but
dealing with Japanese as a group can be a
different matter altogether. And no matter
how nice you are, or how good your
Japanese becomes, you will always be treated
as an outsider. In fact the literal meaning of
"gaijin" is outsider.
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CONFLICT HANDLING
• Japanese are extremely sensitive to what
others might think of them .
• Being ostracized is one of the worst things
that can happen to a Japanese
• Therefore, when making requests, it often
takes more time since the person asked
usually consults others in the group to reach
a consensus
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CONFLICT HANDLING
• In short, however, while the westerner starts
so many sentences with "I", the Japanese "I"
usually means "with the approval of the
group".
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CONFLICT HANDLING
• Uchi-soto has one other important trait --
there are next to no strikes in Japan ever
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CONFLICT HANDLING
Because Japanese labor-management relations
are better? Partly, yes.
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CONFLICT HANDLING
But in Japan there are almost no industrial
unions like the CITU AIBEA
Each large corporation has its own union, and
they feel no bond with other company unions
even if they are doing the same work. In one
sense, the company union is almost a puppet,
led by a management executive.
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POWER OF CONFLICT LESS
TEAMWORK
HIGH PERFORMANCE TEAMS
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• Session3
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HOW TO APPROACH CONFLICT
Self role in handling conflict
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IIRRKR IIRRKR…KN THE
VJLL…
• How do we approach the issue
?
• Do le reipecj ojher people’i
opinions?
• What makes people angry?
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IIRRKR IIRRKR…KN THE
VJLL…
• What are the warning signs of
anger?
• What to do : walk away ?
• Take a moment to think?
• Agree with the other person
anq “gike in”?
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CLUES – AGITATION AND
AGGRESSION
Do you recognise when
someone is becoming irritated
or
is your first clue
someone shouting at you or
storming
off?
Some other clues for you: Voice
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CLUES – AGITATION AND
AGGRESSION
• flushes or goes pale
• Breathing rate changes
• Tense body posture
• Eye contact changes – either
more direct and challenging or
avoiding eye contact
completely
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WHAT DO PEOPLE DO?
Five basic ways of addressing
conflict were identified by
Thomas and Kilmann in
1976:
• Avoidance
• Collaboration
• Compromise
• Competition
• Accommodation
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AVOIDANCE
What does it look like?
Avoid or postpone conflict by;
Ignoring it.
✕ Respecting that everyone has
different
opinions
✕ Asking to talk about it later,
lhen ij’i leii ruin (for emample)
When to use it?
✕ For minor – non-recurring
conflicts
140

COLLABORATION
• Working together to find a
mutually beneficial solution
When to use it?
• As part of problem solving
• In meetings or 1:1
Potential outcomes
• Win-win solutions to conflict
or disagreement
141

• How much time you have available and how
well you know those you are speaking
with
• How to use your questioning skills to capture
ekernone’i resuiremenji
• How to gain agreement before continuing
142

COMPROMISE
• Finding a middle ground in
which each party is partially
satisfied
When to use it?
• As part of problem solving
• When the time to collaborate
effectively is not available
• When the situation is less
complex
143

Potential outcomes
• The key requirements or expectations of those
involved may be resolved
Consider
• Will those involved be satisfied with a partial
solution
• How to use your questioning skills to capture
requirements
• How to gain agreement before continuing
144

ACCOMMODATION
• Surrender your own needs
and wishes to accommodate
the other party
When to use it?
• If this will achieve the best
outcome
145

ACCOMMODATION
Potential outcomes
• A short term solution
that you can live with
• If you are the one
accommodating, then
over time, you might
resent working in this
way
146

Consider
• Why would your viewpoint be any less
correcj or relekanj jhan annone elie’i?
• What the circumstance is
• Do you need to build a working
relationship?
• Are you choosing to do this because of
hierarchy?
• What you could ask those involved in order
to understand the situation better?
147

• Session 4
148

TOOL BOX TOOLS AND
TECHNIQUES
Empathy
• Valh a mile in jhe ojher perion’i ihoei (figurajikeln
speaking)
Active listening
• Use good eye contact, body posture, nodding and
acknowledgement when someone is talking to you
• Summarise and paraphrase what you hear and repeat it
back without changing language styles to make sure you
are on the same page and understand what has been
said
149

TECHNIQUES
Take your time
● Give the other person time to respond and
pace to do so
● No matter how thin you slice it – there are
always 2 sides
● Remember respect cuts both ways
150

Open Questions
●
● What, Where, How,
● Who (be careful of Why questions
can start to feel like an
interrogation
151

DK…. EIPJTHISE VITH THEI
• The focus of your listening is to understand the
other party – for nou jo “gej ij”
• Vorh jo lej jhem hnol lhaj ij ii nou “goj”
• Use communication skills such as – paraphrasing
and summarising
152

Use the same sorts of words they
✕are using (not the expletives)
✕Check your understanding
✕Acknowledge what has been said
153

LISTEN
• This is not the easiest thing
to do, especially on those
occasions when you are
bursting to give someone a
piece of your mind!
• Work to show that you are
focused on understanding
jhe ojher perion’i poinj of
view.
• Focus on the words you
choose, your tone of voice,
your hand movements and
body language
154

FORMULA FOR EFFECTIVE
LISTENING
• L-Look Interested
• I- Inquire
• S-Stay on target
• T-Test your understanding
• E-Evaluate body language
• N-Neutralize feelings
155

TAKE YOUR TIME
• The only person
you can control
is you
• If you start to get
angry take a
break to reduce
your emotional
level and give
you a chance to
think about how
to handle the
situation
• Ask questions
156

Always show respect No matter how much
you disagree with someone –
your challenge is with the subject,
context, circumstance or argument
NOT with the person
Consider
How does it affect you, when you do not
feel nou are reing liijeneq jo…iomeone
ijanqi oker nou…raiiei jheir koice….ipeahi
oker nou….lagi jheir finger aj nou….jelli
you off?
157

EXPLAIN WITH CARE
• How can you do this when your point of
view is very different from theirs?
• Uie “I” ijajemenji rajher jhan “nou”
statements
• Inijeaq of “nou qon’j hnol lhaj nou’re
jalhing arouj” jrn “I’q lihe jo emplain mn
peripecjike jo nou”
• Blaming and judging people is not helpful
and will not effectively find a solution
• Avoid discussing attitudes and
personalities
158

THINK CREATIVELY
• Use the different
methods explored here
• Work to identify
different solutions
from those so far
rejected by one of the
parties
159

….
• Accept the situation
• Conflict cannot always
be avoided
• Not every conflict is
negative
160

CONFLICT RESOLUTION
Learning to negotiate

WHY CONFLICT RESOLUTION
TRAINING?
• Understand the effect conflict has on you
• Recognise when it is appropriate to communicate
with an angry person
• Understand how to diffuse negative encounters
• Learn how to speak with others on
uncomforjarle or pojenjialln “hoj jopici” anq
maintain a professional approach
• Understand the motivators for anger
• Recognise when it is no longer safe to
communicate and the only safe response is to
162

• Session 5
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163

WORKPLACE CONFLICT
WITH BOSS –HOW TO HANDLE
• Learn to deal more effectively with difficult
bosses and supervisors.
• How To Deal With A Difficult Boss ?
• Bosses and supervisors aren't from another
planet, but sometimes they seem to be
Date00.00.00
164

WORKPLACE CONFLICT-
Conflict with a difficult boss can be daunting
and intimidating.
Here are some tips to help you deal with
difficult bosses and supervisors.
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165

WORKPLACE CONFLICT- CONFLICT
AND BOSS
• Most people at some point in their lives have
to deal with a difficult boss.
• Difficult supervisors vary in personality
from being pushy or rude, all the way to
being downright abusive.
• Task vs relationship styles
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166

CONFLICT AND BOSS
✕ Many people feel abusive boss has control
of personal life outside of work and lower
the
self-esteem and live in constant fear.
✕ The role of a supervisor is controlling ;
attracts personalities who like the power
✕ A supervisor has complete control over
most basic human needs— ability to put
food on the table and a roof over your head.
Date00.00.00
168

WORKPLACE CONFLICT-
CONFLICT AND BOSS
• These are powerful motivating factors that
allow a difficult boss /supervisor to control
people out of fear of losing these basic
needs.
• We may not be able to always correct their
behavior, but we should never have to live in
fear and let our difficult boss control our
lives.
Date00.00.00
169

WORKPLACE CONFLICT-
CONFLICT AND BOSS
• Here are some strategies on handling a
difficult boss situation.
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170

WORKPLACE CONFLICT-
CONFLICT AND BOSS
• Always have a plan B. Most people are
scared about having a discussion with their
boss concerning their abusive behavior
because they fear reprimand or losing their
job as a result of it.
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171

WORKPLACE CONFLICT-
CONFLICT AND BOSS
• Their fear is usually justified if the
supervisor is a control-freak and feels that
their subordinate is threatening their
control.
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172

AND BOSS
• Before you deal with any type of conflict,
you always need to have a plan B in case
things don’t vork out.
• A plan B is the best alternative that you can
come up without having to negotiate
anything with your boss.
Date00.00.00
173

WORKPLACE CONFLICT-
✕ In this type of scenario, your best plan B would
probably take the form of having an actual job
offer in hand with another employer before
you have your talk.
✕ By not having a backup plan, you have given
your abusive boss even more leverage over you
because they know you have nowhere else to
go.
Date00.00.00
174

WORKPLACE CONFLICT-
• Having a plan B, however, empowers you
with the ability to walk-away at any time
should the negotiation not go right.
Increase your power and have a plan B
before you deal with the conflict.
Date00.00.00
175

WORKPLACE CONFLICT-
• Never react to verbal abuse or harsh
criticism with emotion.
• This will always get you into more trouble
than you started with because it will become
a war between egos and chances are good
that your boss has a bigger ego than you
have—hence why he is difficult in the first
place.
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176

BOSS AND CONFLICT
• When a personal attack is made , it is bait
to reacting emotionally and become easy
target for additional attacks.
• The key then is not to react, but to
acknowledge and move on.
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177

CONFLICT WITH BOSS
✕ By doing this, you effectively strip all of the
power behind their verbal attacks away from
your abusive boss, without creating conflict.
✕ If your boss happens to be an intimidator or
a control freak, then the best way of dealing
with their behavior is to remain calm and
acknowledge their power by saying,
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178

• "You're right, I'm sorry." By saying this, you
take away any chance of them lashing back
at you because you have sidestepped their
verbal attack rather than meeting it head on.
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179

CONFLICT WITH BOSS
• Feel neglected when not recognized for
performance.
• Not giving credit when due
• Or steals credit
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180

WORKPLACE CONFLICT-
• Discuss rather than confront. When your
boss criticizes you rather than appreciating,
qon’j reacj ouj of emojion anq recome
confrontational because that just breeds
more conflict.
• Instead, indulge in discussion on with data.
Date00.00.00
181

WORKPLACE CONFLICT-
• If they criticize your work, then that means
that they have their own idea on how that
work should be done, so ask them for their
advice on how your work can be improved.
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182

CONFLICT AND THE BOSS
• Manage the manager. A source of conflict is
a new manager who demands that things
run differently.
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183

AND BOSS
• A discussion about what is the goal them at
the very beginning will help
• Gej jo hnol jhe roii’i preference .
Date00.00.00
184

5. KNOW THAT YOU CAN DO LITTLE
TO CHANGE THEM.
• Being a difficult person is part of the
personality and therefore do not try to
change a supervisor, . Instead, change the
way that you approach the behavior.
• Avoiding derogatory labeling, it is easy on
yourself to be even angry with your boss.
Date00.00.00
185

6. KEEP YOUR PROFESSIONAL
FACE ON
✕ Know the difference between not liking your
boss and not being professional.
✕ Xou qon’j hake jo mahe nour roii nour frienq
or even like your boss as a person, but you do
have to remain professional and get the job done
and carry out their instructions dutifully as a
subordinate, just as you would expect them to be
professional as do their duties as a supervisor.
Date00.00.00
186

WORKPLACE CONFLICT-
• Evaluate your own performance. Before you
go attacking your boss, examine your own
performance and ask yourself if you are
doing everything right.
Date00.00.00
187

7. EVALUATE YOUR OWN
PERFORMANCE OBJECTIVELY
JGJINST BKSS’S EWPECTJTIKN
✕ Get opinions from other coworkers about
your performance and see if there is any
warrant to the criticisms of your supervisor
before you criticize their opinions.
Date00.00.00
188

HANDLING CONFLICT WITH
SUBORDINATES
• Conflict arise for the same reasons that you
may feel with your boss
• Performance appraisal is generally the
conflict area
• Insubordination is second major reason
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189

WITH SUBORDINATES
• To handle performance issues be proactive
• Define goals /and consequences of not
delivering
• On insubordination- gather all facts/
document
• Discuss and agree on corrective action
Date00.00.00
190

8. GATHER ADDITIONAL
SUPPORT.
✕ If others share in your concern, then you have the
power of numbers behind you to give you additional
persuasion power over your boss.
✕ It is often easy for a supervisor to ignore or attack
one employee, but it becomes more difficult to attack
all of his employees.
✕ He might be able to fire one of you, but he will look
like an idiot (and probably get fired himself) if he
tries to fire all of you. An interdepartmental union is
a good way of mustering power against an abusive
employer.
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191

9. DKN’T GK TK UP THE CHJIN KF
CKIIJND UNLESS IT’S J LJST
RESORT.
✕Going up the chain of command is not an
effective way of dealing with a difficult
supervisor
✕Try to discuss issues first and only go up the
chain of command as a last resort.
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192

10-WORKPLACE CONFLICT-PAT ON
THE BACK
• Encourage good behavior with praise
• boss and that of your subordinates-
• If shy of verbal use thank you cards
• It is easy to criticize but criticisms often lead
towards resentment and hostile feelings.
Date00.00.00
193

WORKPLACE CONFLICT-
✕ Be very careful when you criticize in others presence.
✕ Everyone likes a pat on the back for good behavior, so
you should strive to watch for good behaviors from your
boss and subordinates and compliment them .
✕ Have you ever thanked your boss for sound advice?
✕ Proactive praising is much more effective than reactive
criticisms.
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194

11. LEAVE WORK AT WORK.
• Leave work at work.
• If you choose to stay with a toxic BOSS ,
then document everything.
• This will be the main ammunition should a
complaint ever be filed .
• Maintain performance review record.
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195

12. WORKPLACE CONFLICT- LEAVE WORK
AT WORK.
✕ Get into the habit of leaving work at home and not
bringing it into personal life;
It will only add to your level of stress.
✕ Keep your professional life separate from personal
life as best as you can.
✕ Thii alio incluqei haking frienqi lho nou qon’j
work with so that you can detach yourself from
your work life rather than bringing it home with
you.
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196

WORKPLACE CONFLICT IN
VALUES -
Downsizing or winding up of a business
Layoff / Termination of employees due to
cost cutting
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197

ETHICAL ISSUES-
• Harassment
• Bribe
• Tax evasions
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198

CONFLICT RESOLUTION-
BIBLICAL REF
• Geiui iaiq, “Bleiieq are jhe peacemaheri for
they shall be called the children of
Goq”(Iajjhel 5.9).
• Peacemakers enter into conflict with a
commijmenj jo rring Goq’i gooqneii ouj of
that situation, however terrible it might be.
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199

CONFLICT TRANSFORMATION
• Toqan jhe phraie “conflicj jraniformajion”
has been used to describe the various
processes whereby people and nations seek
to establish constructive and positive
dynamics and institutions in their
communities in place of the destruction and
sorrow of war and civil strife.
Date00.00.00
200

BIBLICAL
✕ confronting evil nonviolently,
establishing justice,
✕ negotiating agreements,
✕ peace-building
✕ forging reconciliation.
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201

BIBLICAL REF
• Christians believe Jesus charged his
folloleri “jo re engageq in poiijikeln
transforming conflicts, for such people show
jhemielkei jo re Goq’i chilqren
demonstrating the same care and
compassion for people suffering in conflict
ai Goq hai qemonijrajeq jhrough Chriij.”
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202

BIBLICAL REF
✕ POINTS OF IMPORTANCE:
✕ Conciliation - 7 steps of the Social
Transformation of Conflict:
✕ 1. Problem-solving, where the parties
disagree but share a problem.
✕ 2. Shift from disagreement to personal
antagonism; the person is seen as the
problem.
✕ 3. Issue proliferation–moving from the
specific to the general, from one issue to
many.
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203

BIBLICAL REF
✕ 4. Triangulation–talking to other people about the
person in conflict not directly to that person.
(“Triangulajion” meani mahing a jriangle, in jhii caie
with two people who bring in a third person to the
conflict, not as a mediator to assist in resolving the
conflict, but in an effort to get the third person on
one side or the other.)
✕ 5. Reaction and escalation–an eye for an eye.
✕ 6. Antagonism increasing to hostility.
✕ 7. Polarization–a change in the social organization
(breaking of friendship, divorce, church split, civil
war, etc.)
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204

✕ The further along the conflict goes through
these steps there is more violence, less trust,
✕ less accurate communication and less direct
contact.
✕ In the Genesis stories we see Adam-and Eve at
step 2 where Adam is blaming both Eve and God
for the problem. Cain is
✕ also at step 2 seeing Abel as the problem, but he
jumps quickly to step 7 in committing murder.
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205

DOMINATION
✕ Domination is where one person or group
gains power that is used in a threatening or
abusive way over others. Throughout the
Bible violent political domination is a
problem, whether looking at the oppressions
of Pharaoh in Egnpj or Samuel’i concerni
about establishing a king in Israel (see 1
Samuel 8). The climax of this violent
domination is
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206

DEMON OR DIVINE?
• seen in Revelation 13 , 13.1.7 depicts
• Both demonic and divine governments -
mixture
• of both the divinely-established and the
demonic.
• Some governments may exhibit more of
the demonic nature in their destructive
behavior, while other governments may not
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207

DEMON OR DIVINE
• Violent or dominating ways of dealing with
conflict can be institutionalized,
• Need is for understanding structural
dynamics of power if they are to
constructively transform organizational,
social or political conflicts.
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208

THE 50 GREATEST BUSINESS
CONFLICTS OF ALL TIME
✕ Thomas Edison electrocuted an elephant to demonstrate
the danger of a competitor's technology.
✕ Nike , desperate for an advantage over a surging Reebok,
signed a college hoops player named Michael Jordan.
✕ Central Pacific Railroad laid an astounding 10 miles of
track in 24 hours to grab government payments that the
hated Union Pacific would otherwise claim
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209

• What comes through most strongly in these
stories is sheer human intensity.
• Only a brave novelist would have imagined
the brother vs. brother saga of Adidas vs.
Puma (No. 20). Venice vs. Genoa (No. 7) may
look like a dusty tale of feuding city-states,
but it set the tone for hundreds of years of
European competition.
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210

• Rivalries make great stories, and the greatest
rivalries make the greatest tales -- reason
enough to read the following portraits of
brilliance, skullduggery, nobility, mendacity,
victory, and failure.
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211

• But if you're the driven type who demands
more practical benefits, you'll find those
here too. After all, monumental business
battles have changed the world.
Date00.00.00
212

• If tiny MCI hadn't challenged the titanic AT&T ( T
0.60% ) the communications revolution would have
played out much differently.
• Steve Jobs and Bill Gates ended up selling few
competing products yet contended for 35 years to
impose radically different visions of computing.
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213

• And a global economy that couldn't function
without air travel is far faster and better
because Airbus and Boeing ( BA 0.82% )
(No. 9) have had to fight each other every
day for 40 years.
• Functional
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214

• Coke ( KO -0.08% ) and Pepsi ( PEP 0.65% )
were so busy pounding the daylights out of
each other that they missed an entirely new
notion, and today, inconceivably, the best
selling energy drink in U.S. convenience
stores isn't made by either company. (It's Red
Bull.)
• Dysfunctional
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215

• General Motors and Ford clashed with
each other until one day Toyota ( TM 1.89% )
had stolen the bulk of their profits.
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216

• The rivalry between the American railroads
was economic, ethnic, and spectacular,
involving sabotage, deception, and death.
Who needs such lessons?
Date00.00.00
217

• Oh, right, we do. So think of these dramas
as guilt-free pleasures. Then, well prepared
for the task, go forth and pulverize your
rivals. --Geoff Colvin
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218

ACCEPT THE SITUATION
• Conflict is not mathematics
• There is not always a solution waiting to be found
• If there is a solution – it is very unlikely to be the
only one
219

JND FINJLLX…. CKNFLICT CJNNKT
ALWAYS BE SOLVED OR AVOIDED
The Swiss psychologist Carl Jung once wrote that
“jhe greajeij anq moij imporjanj prorlemi of life
are all
fundamentally insoluble. They can never be
iolkeq ruj onln oujgroln”
220

JND FINJLLX…. NOT ALL
CONFLICT IS NEGATIVE
• Not every conflict is negative (sometimes it
“cleari jhe air”)
• The important thing is to keep wasteful and
damaging conflict to a minimum and
when conflict occurs, use the techniques to
resolve or at least ease it
221

222

WHAT DID WE LEARN?
In workplace or personal conflicts it is all
about difference in perspective
• Approaches to Conflict Resolution
include;
• Avoidance
• Collaboration
• Compromise
• Competition
• Accommodation
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223

WHAT DID WE LEARN?
• Win Win solutions build
relationships and aid solutions
• Conflict is not mathematics but
deals with personalities and
emotions
• There is not always a solution
waiting to be found
• If there is a solution – it is very
unlikely to be the only one
Date00.00.00
224

Date00.00.00
225

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