This is a condensed deck from the second class of my Winter 2016 section of Interpersonal Dynamics (aka Touchy Feely) at the Stanford Graduate School of Business (aka @StanfordBiz).

1. Dynamics
Interpersonal
Ed Batista
Winter 2016
CLASS 2: COMMUNICATION

2. Photo by The Mighty Tim Inconnu [link]
The net
Bradford & Huckabay
How can we improve feedback?
How can we minimize defensiveness?

3. The net
Me You
Your
response
My
behavior
My
intention

4. What I know
Me
My
intention
My
behavior

5. What I don’t
You
Your
response

6. What you know
You
Your
response
My
behavior

7. Me
What you don’t
My
intention

8. Use the model
To stay on your side of the Net…
Focus on observed behavior
Disclose your response
When you do [X], I feel [Y].

9. Language police
Photo by Zoetnet [link]

10. Language police
“I know this is over the Net, but…”

11. Language police
What that really means:
“This may make you defensive & I don’t care…”

12. Language police
Also, a quirk of English…
When we say, “I feel like…” or “I feel that…”
what follows is not an emotion
but a opinion or a belief

13. Language police
“I feel like you’re disrepectful…”
= Conjecture about their inner state
= Over the Net
= More likely to provoke defensiveness

14. Language police
“I feel disrepected…”
= Disclosure about your inner state
= Not over the Net
= Less likely to provoke defensiveness

15. 5 levels
Photo by Rita Willaert [link]
Richard Francisco
In what ways do we communicate?
Increasing levels of difficulty, risk & learning

16. 5 levels
Photo by Rita Willaert [link]
1: Ritual
2: Extended Ritual
3: Content
4: Feelings About Content
5: Feelings About Each Other

17. 5 levels
Photo by Rita Willaert [link]
5: Feelings About Each Other
Hardest
Riskiest
Most powerful for feedback

18. Use the model
In T-group (& anywhere)
What levels are we using?
What levels are we stuck in?
What levels are we avoiding?
All levels serve a useful purpose

19. Connections
Photo by Hadley Paul Garland [link]

20. Connections
John Gottman
How do we connect with each other?
What happens when we fail to connect?

21. Connections
A bid can be a question, a gesture, a look,
a touch—any single expression that says,
“I want to feel connected to you.”
~John Gottman

22. Gottman &
gender

23. Gottman &
gender

24. Gottman &
gender

25. Culture &
communication

26. Culture &
Erin Meyer (& Geert Hofstede)
How do cultures communicate?
(A manifestation of social identity)
communication

27. Communication
Low-Context High-Context
Precise, simple,
clear, repetitive
& overt messages.
Complex, nuanced,
multi-layered, unspoken
& implied messages.
style

28. Evaluation style
Direct Indirect
Frank, blunt, candid.
Individuals may be
criticized in a group.
Subtle, diplomatic.
Criticism is given
only in private.

29. Disagreement
Confrontational Conflict-Averse
Open debate is good
for the team & doesn’t
impact relationships.
Open disagreement
disrupts the team
& hurts relationships.
style

30. Persuasive style
Practical Conceptual
Start with opinions &
facts. Add concepts to
justify conclusions.
Start with underlying
principles. Add facts
to justify theories.

31. Source of trust
Task Accomplishment Personal Relationships
Relationships begin &
end quickly, based on
practical needs.
Relationships evolve
over time, based
on personal networks.

32. Dynamics
Interpersonal
For more:
www.edbatista.com/interpersonal-dynamics.html