For ENGL151L -- Writing 2. An overview of diction, with examples from modern literature.

1. Choosing right :
Word Choice
and Style
“The difference between the right word and the almost right word is
the difference between lightning and a lightning bug.” – Mark Twain
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2. 3 impressionist paintings
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3. of the same thing - boats
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4. But very different
because of . ..
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5. The painters made
different style choices:
different brushstrokes,
colors,textures …
STYLE STYLE
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6. …even different
perspectives. (These
boats areseen from above
–a different perspective.)
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And those different style choices create different feelings. This
painting says SUMMERTIME! It feels fun, upbeat, playful.

7. Butthispainting’sstylecreates a serious,somber, STORM-
COMING feeling.
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8. In creative writing, style
is the writer’s stamp. It
gives the piece a voice
readers can hear and
relate to. And it helps set
the tone. Plus, in fiction
the style of someone’s
speech reveals what kind
of person they are (i.e.,
style adds to
characterization). Just as
in life.
I keep Raymond on the
inside of me and he plays
like he’s driving a stage
coach which is OK by me so
long as he doesn’t run me
over or interrupt my
breathing exercises, which
I have to do on account of
I’m serious about my
running, and I don’t care
who knows it.
Do you hear a voice? Guess
the speaker’s age? Feel her
attitude toward her brother
and life? What words &
phrases help with that?
From Raymond’s Run by Toni Cade Bambara
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9. How do writers create their Style?
A constant stream of choices shapes a writer’s style. In
revising, skilled writers make small changes that bring out
their style. To achieve the style they want, they make basic
choices about which words to use; this is known as diction.
Do you ever adapt your choice of words especially for the
individual or group you’re talking to? Imagine giving
instructions to a six year old vs to a teenager, or sharing a
story with a supervisor at work vs a friend. What about a
cover letter sent with a resume vs a memo at work vs a
Facebook post? Different styles needed.
If you can think of a good example, email it in for up to 10
Bonus Points. Email to kgordon@northampton.edu
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10. Informal: casual, every day, colloquial type words
Formal: dressed up, “standard” English words
Usual, commonplace, easy (for most of us) words
Unusual, rare, jargony, difficult (for most of us),
poetic words
Concrete: specific, detailed words
Abstract: general, or vague words
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The types of words a writer chooses are important
for meaning of course but also for tone & style. As
with colors, most meanings have a range of words,
each with a slightly different tone or feeling.

11. Informal to Formal
Informal, casual, colloquial,
“slang” from different times
In between Formal, fancy, dressed up,
“standard” English
crib, pad, digs* my place, apartment,
house, home
residence, place of residence,
abode*
foot it, hoof it, pound the
sidewalk, burn the shoe leather
walk, take a walk, stroll Perambulate, amble, sashay,
mosey
Rad, bad, mad cool, slaying,
snatched, neat-o, boss*
Awesome, amazing, very
impressive, marvelous
Bodacious (slang tho?),
stupendous, prodigious
*Colloquial words tend to go in and
out of style. As with their clothes,
some people want to be in style with
their words. So they update their
lingo.
Advice: Know your audience. Use
slang when your readers/listeners
can relate.
In between words may be
most common for us, but
creative writers try for a
more distinct style. This can
make them harder, but also
more rewarding. They’re
trying to do more with each
word.
*Some formal words may also be
unusual.
Advice: Use words you know, but
read widely and know more!
Revise with dictionary and
Thesaurus, looking for the just-
right word to capture your
thought.
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12. Usual to Unusual
Usual,
commonplace,
easy
A bit more
unusual/poetic
A tad more unusual Unusual, rare,
jargony, difficult
The sun went
down.
The sun dropped
below the horizon.
The golden orb of
the sun sank from
sight.
The fiery chariot
achieved
its destination at
long last and
moved
beyond the grasp
of human vision.
Does the job. Works
fine for some
purposes & audiences
Adds a fancier verb (went
became dropped) and
more info.
Adds alliteration Novelists and poets use
unusual diction to get the
most out of a moment.
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13. Concrete to Abstract
Concrete, specific, detailed Abstract, general, vague
Red Honda with a dented back bumper Damaged compact car
Rhododendron in full bloom Pretty bush
Ride the elliptical for 20 minutes Exercise a while
Square piece of old parchment Paper
Tip: When revising, look for the more specific,
concrete word or phrase. Good writing in most
fields is concrete writing.
Tip: Do you tend to give too much detail? Find just
the right spot between concrete and abstract. Ask:
Why am I writing, and to whom? What does the
occasion and the audience need?
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14. Good writingis oftenspecific& concrete
I returned and saw under the sun, that the race is
not to the swift, nor the battle to the strong,
neither yet bread to the wise, nor yet riches to
men of understanding, nor yet favour to men of
skill; but time and chance happeneth to them all.
— From Ecclesiastes, a part of The Bible which novelist Thomas Wolfe described as “ the
greatest single piece of writing I have ever known.”
To show how empty bad writing can be, George Orwell (who wrote 1984 and
Animal Farm) translated the above passage into abstract, bureaucratic English:
Objective considerations of contemporary phenomena
compel the conclusion that success or failure in
competitive activities exhibits no tendency to be
commensurate with innate capacity, but that a
considerable element of the unpredictable must
invariably be taken into account.
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15. Muddle a Common Saying:
Bonus Point Opp
Study the previous slide and do the same to a common saying for 10 Bonus
Points. Use a longer passage of very good writing for up to 20 points. (Ask
me if you need examples of very good writing. Try searching famous
speeches and inspirational writing from the world’s religions.
An example: That old saying “A bird in hand is worth two in the bush” very
concretely reminds us to value what we have more than what we feel we
might be able to get. Here is my Owellian rewrite, changing word choice,
word order and sentence structure to make the language so vague, abstract,
and empty that it is nearly meaningless:
“Any one item that one already holds in one’s possession can and certainly
should be valued at a more high rate than twice the amount of that same or a
similar item that is not yet actually and fully within one’s possession.”
Have fun! And remember, you’re not explaining the saying or passage;
you’re totally messing it up. Email in with brief cover letter.
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16. Novelist Cormac McCarthy (The Road, No Country for Old Men)
is known for unusual, poetic diction
Schmoop has a brief analysis of McCarthy’s diction here. They quote this stunning passage
from The Road. I’ve underlined unusual word choices. We see hard words and also common
words used in uncommon ways:
He rose and stood tottering in that cold autistic dark with his arms
outheld for balance while the vestibular calculations in his skull cranked
out their reckonings. An old chronicle. To seek out the upright. No fall
but preceded by a declination. [< 3 sentence fragments] He took great
marching steps into the nothingness, counting them against his return.
Eyes closed, arms oaring. Upright to what? Something nameless in the
night, lode or matrix. To which he and the stars were common satellite.
Like the great pendulum in its rotunda scribing through the long day
movements of the universe of which you may say it knows nothing and
yet know it must.
For up to 5 bonus points send an email explaining how the verb “oaring” is used
here. Hint: 1) It’s an implied metaphor. The Week 9 lecture explains metaphors.
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17. Analyzing diction
I keep Raymond on the
inside of me and he
plays like he’s
driving a stage coach
which is OK by me so
long as he doesn’t run
me over or interrupt
my breathing
exercises, which I
have to do on account
of I’m serious about
my running, and I
don’t care who knows
it.
 Is this casual or formal? Casual
OK, on account of - fits her age.
I don’t care who knows it – fits her personality.
 usual or unusual (or prosaic vs
poetic). Usual. But “Like he’s driving a stage
coach” is a bit unusual and poetic. It’s a simile.
Touches like that is where I first thought good
writer here!
 concrete or abstract? Concrete
Physical things are described, not thoughts &
feelings. Later the writing grows more abstract
when she describes the amazing feeling she
gets while running (bottom of p. 5).
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18. Many words come with a feeling (aka a connotation)
like these casual-formal examples from Slide 11:
Home – Warm feeling. Home is where the heart is. “There’s no place like home, there’s no
place like home...”
House – Cold impersonal feeling. A new house on the block.
Crib – Modern, hip, youthful. “Now this crib's about to kick off, this party looks wack.”
Pad – Once modern, beatnik then hippie. “Hey daddy-o let’s go to my pad.”
Place – Neutral feeling and casual. “Nice place you got here.”
Residence – Neutral feeling and formal. Official language. “State your place of residence.”
Abode – Fancy, poetic diction. Pretentious? “Welcome to my humble abode.” (But haha not
so a humble word choice)
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19. Help Starting the Explication Essay
Find 5 stand-out words in the piece you’ve chosen. Select
words that help create the style & that add to the tone
(funny, serious, sarcastic, sad…). List those, as on the
previous slide, then write the feelings each word gives
you. Ask friends and family what feeling they get from the
words. Take notes. If the writer is any good, the feelings
you list will be the same he/she was aiming for. If a word
seems like a bad choice to you – yay! You have something
to say in your essay. Are you allowed to be critical of an
author? Definitely!
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Notice my style here is informal (as in yay!). I know essays
make some people nervous and I’m trying to put a lid on that
from the get-go. (Or, to say it more formally, I’m attempting to
pre-empt or forestall that nervousness from the beginning.)

20. Style analysis of Scout, a young child from the classic
novelTo Kill a Mockingbird. She is bragging about her
father’s marksmanship
Style
Scout’s casual word choice
and unusual word order create
a strong, real-sounding voice,
with a little poetry too.
Ain’t everybody’s
daddy the deadest
shot in Macomb
County.
No style
“Standard” formal English
would lose that voice
Not everyone’s
father is the best
shot in Macomb
County.
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21. Word Choice questions
for essays and journal posts
• Do the word choices in this piece have anything to do with my reaction
to it? (i.e., is diction the topic I’ll use in my essay, or might another one
work better?)
• Where does my piece fall on the 3 ranges in slide 10?
• Does the diction change from concrete to abstract anywhere? Why
might the writer have done that?
• What 5 standout words help create the style?
• What words come with or bring up a subtle feeling (connotation)? (Ask
friends to help!)
• If characters talk, what is their speaking style? Different at all from the
style of the narrator telling the story?
• Is the style of my piece very similar or different from another writer’s I
know well? Can I add a section on that for and some or all of the 25
Bonus points?
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