Personal statements are very effective tools for creative high school students to share their passions with colleges. Here is our powerpoint for October 20, 2016 College Fair

1. Communicating Your Story: Ten
Tips For Writing Powerful
College Application Essays
Orange country School of the Arts College
Fair
Thursday, october 20
Rebecca Joseph
http://tinyurl.com/ocsa
2016
getmetocollege@gmail.com
@getmetocollege
@allcollegeessay

2. To get us started
On a piece of paper, list
your (or your child’s)
 Three activities or
accomplishments of
which you are the most
proud?
 Three major ways you
have shown leadership
or initiative?
 Three artistic
experiences you are
most proud of?

3. How Important Are Essays?
1.Grades
2.Rigor of Coursework, School
3.Test Scores
4.Essays*
5.Recommendations-Teacher and/or Counselor
6.Activities-Sustained consistency, development,
leadership, and initiative
7.Special skills, talents, awards, auditions, portfolios,
community service and passions

4. Overview of Shifting 2016 American
Admissions Landscape

5. The Power and Danger of Essays
1. Give me two reasons why admissions officers value
college application essays.
2. Give me two reasons why they often dread reading
the majority of them.

7. Essays=Opportunity
Share
Reflect
Stand Out
http://tinyurl.
com/ocsa2016

8. So….Tip 1
Tip 1. College essays are fourth in importance
behind grades, test scores, and the rigor of
completed coursework in many admissions office
decisions. Don’t waste this powerful
opportunity to share your voice and express
what you really offer to a college campus.
Great life stories make you jump off the page and
into your match colleges.

9. A New Paradigm
Tip 2.
Develop an overall
strategic essay writing
plan.
College essays should
work together to
help you communicate
key qualities and
stories not available
anywhere else in
your application.

10. Essays = Opportunity
 Take control over the highest ranked non-academic aspect of
the application
 Share their voice
 Express who they really are
 Show (not tell) stories that
belong only to them and help them
jump off the page
 Challenge stereotypes
 Reflect on their growth and
development, including
accomplishments and service
 Seek to understand what the admission officer is looking for

11. What DO Admissions Officers Seek?
Context
Values
Commitment/Depth of
Interests
Interaction with and/or
perception by others
Special talents and
qualities
Realistic self-appraisal

12. Ultimately…admissions officers want to
know your…
Impact Initiative

13. Understand the Different
Types of Applications
Help students understand the landscape:
1)The Common Application
2) Large Public Universities
3) Private College Specific Applications
4) Other Systems (Conservatories, Universal
Application, etc.)

14. Four Major Application Types:
1. The Common Application
 Many private and some public American use the centralized
Common Application with their own Writing supplements
 More than 650 colleges use it.
 www.commonapp.org
 Don’t start writing any essays until you see all the essays required
for your top schools. My app-All College Application Essays has the
requirements.

15. Common Application Writing Supplements
Some long– U Penn, U Chicago (300-650 words)
Some medium—Stanford
Some small— Columbia, Brown

16. Current CA 2015-2017 Prompts
250-650 Words (2015-2016 percentages)
1. Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful
they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you,
then please share your story. (49%)
2. The lessons we take from failure can be fundamental to later success. Recount an
incident or time when you experienced failure. How did it affect you, and what did you
learn from the experience? (17%)
3. Reflect on a time when you challenged a belief or idea. What prompted you to act?
Would you make the same decision again. (4%)
4. Describe a problem you’ve solved or a problem you’d like to solve. It can be an
intellectual challenge, a research query, an ethical dilemma-anything that is of
personal importance, no matter the scale. Explain its significance to you and what
steps you took or could be taken to identify a solution. (10%)
5. Discuss an accomplishment or event, formal or informal, that marked your
transition from childhood to adulthood within your culture, community, or family.
(22%)

17. Evan Common Application
I was speechless when I saw my name on the cast list. I thought that there must have been a typo. After
looking again, I realized that it was true, especially since all of the girls vying for parts were glaring at me.
Without success, I tried to explain that I had no power over this decision.
The fact that I, a 5’ 9” 160 pound man, was cast as the Queen of Hearts in Alice in Wonderland, one of the
two leading female roles, began when my theatre class was reading through a student-written version of
the play. I was almost through with a semi-long monologue when my teacher interrupted me to talk about
his personal life. My class and I had formed a great relationship with him and we always talked back to
him, even though we knew that talking back to a teacher usually meant bad news. So, I told him to be
quiet, and he told me that if I talked like that one more time, he would cast me as the Queen of Hearts. I
didn’t put much thought into this, but I kept my mouth shut anyway.
When I got to the audition room, I read for the Mad Hatter and the Caterpillar, the two characters that all
the guys were trying out for. I started to head out when the teacher, who was also directing the show, told
me to read for the Queen. I hesitated for a moment because that was the part that all of the girls were
trying for, that and Alice. He explained that he thought it would be funny for the Queen to have a deep
voice and hairy legs. I eventually read for her, but joined in with the rest of the cast when they thought it
was all a joke.

18. After getting cast as the Queen, I quickly began to see what my teacher meant when he told me that it
would add humor to the show if a boy were the Queen. I surprised myself at how much of the character I
made my own. In fact, when the teacher came up to me one day and told me that a lot of my part was
going to be improvised, I didn’t feel nervous at all; if it was any other part I would have felt that I couldn’t
do it, but I felt so comfortable with the character that it didn’t scare me.
Eventually, the first night of the performance came, and I felt completely ready. I put on my huge
costume, luckily without heels, and went to my teacher. The makeup took about two hours to complete,
and all I could think about was how happy I was that my teacher decided not to put me in roller-skates
because of the amount of times I fell over my long dress.
When I stepped onto the stage, however, I was so engaged in my character that my acting and
improvisation was spotless. Many people even believed that I was actually my music teacher because I
looked and sounded just like her. They realized it was me when they saw my hairy legs underneath the
gown I was wearing. Everybody was impressed and gave me the biggest round of applause I had ever
received.
Playing the Queen of Hearts made me think about what type of actor I want to be. I have become a
character actor; I love putting on different voices and accents and wowing the entire school. I even ended
up playing Lumière in Beauty and the Beast because I was the only one who could do a French accent. I
have really grown in my acting capabilities over the years, and recently when I was cast as Doc Gibbs in
Our Town, at least there were no senior citizens in my school there to glare at me for taking a part away
from them.

19. Four Major Application Types:
2. Large Public Universities
Many large and most prominent public universities
have their own applications.
 Universities of Arizona, California, Indiana, Maryland, Oregon,
Texas, Washington, and Wisconsin—to name just some
 They each have different essay requirements.
 They each have your report activities in a different way.
 But there are ways to use your other essays here as well.
 They have their own essays. You should gather their topics
and look for ways to use your common application essay as one
of your essays for the public colleges, and visa-versa.

20. University of California
Fall 2017 is due
November 30.
Introduced new format
and prompts for both
freshman and transfer
essays
Applicants must write 4
short 350 word max
essays.
Freshman can choose
from 8 prompts.

21. UC Freshman Personal Insight Questions
 Freshman Personal Insight Prompts: Answer any 4 of the following 8 questions:
 What do you want UC to know about you? Here’s your chance to tell us in your own words.
 Which questions you choose to answer is entirely up to you: But you should select questions that
are most relevant to your experience and that best reflect your individual circumstances.
1. Describe an example of your leadership experience in which you have positively influenced others,
helped resolve disputes, or contributed to group efforts over time.
2. Every person has a creative side, and it can be expressed in many ways: problem
solving, original and innovative thinking, and artistically, to name a few. Describe how
you express your creative side.
3. What would you say is your greatest talent or skill? How have you developed and demonstrated that
talent over time?
4. Describe how you have taken advantage of a significant educational opportunity or
worked to overcome an educational barrier you have faced.
5. Describe the most significant challenge you have faced and the steps you have taken to overcome this
challenge. How has this challenge affected your academic achievement?
6. Describe your favorite academic subject and explain how it has influenced you.
7. What have you done to make your school or your community a better place?
8. What is the one thing that you think sets you apart from other candidates applying to the University of
California?

22. Jessica-Point Park
From the moment I was born, I was plunged into a life of medical chaos. My older brother,
Neil, was diagnosed with a kidney tumor at age two. By age seven, when I was four, he
developed Leukemia. He relapsed at age 15. All in all, he’s had, and survived, cancer three
times.
Because of his illness and my family’s dedication to helping him survive, I was never
surprised when family members, teachers, and friends treated me differently from other kids.
It was as if I were the one who was sick. I received just as much sympathy as my brother. I
brushed it off; I became emotionally numb to the entire situation.
However, strong emotions began to surface while I was in middle school, during Neil’s third
round of cancer. I refused to allow myself to be angry about this new occurrence; after all, it
was nobody’s fault. However, having heard that often siblings of cancer patients tend to have
major emotional issues, my parents, were concerned about me. I didn’t want them to worry,
so I struggled to keep myself busy by playing soccer, attending choir rehearsals, figure
skating, and taking voice lessons. It wasn’t until the eighth grade that I finally found my best
emotional outlet: Musical Theatre.

23. Four Major Application Types:
3 and 4. Other systems
Many conservatories have their own applications as
do many privates and publics.
Yet their applications for financial aid or academic
support programs add in those requirements.
Washington State, for example, several short essays
which they share with other state systems. Boston
Conservatory has one personal statement
The Universal Application is another system. It has
fewer colleges on it than The Common Application.

24. Develop A Master Chart
Tip 3. Keep a chart of all essays required by each
college, including short responses and optional
essays. View each essay or short response as a chance
to tell a new story and to share your core qualities.
I recommend three sheets.
 1. Major deadlines and needs. Break it down by the four
application types
 2. Core essays-Color code all the similar or overlapping essays.
 3. Supplemental essays. Each college has extra requirements
on the common application. Again color code similar types:
Why are you a good match for us? How will you add to the
diversity of our campus?

25. Write the Fewest
Yet Most Effective Essays…
Tip 4.
Find patterns
between colleges
essay requirements.
Use essays more
than once.
UC 1 or 2=Common
App =Scholarship
Essay

26. Where to Begin: Brainstorm

27. Individual and Collaborative

28. Positive Personality Traits

29. 5. Other Brainstorming Tips
Help them brainstorm
1.Make a resume.
2.Write about three of your major activities.
3.Reading model essays from actual college websites
4.Looking at other college’s essay prompts-U Chicago, Tufts
5.Creating a letter to future roommate or an amazing list of
what makes you you.
6.Looking at 5 top FB and Instagram Pictures
7.Reading models from other students
8.Do culture bags

30. What Did You Do Last Summer?

31. Into, Through, and Beyond Essay Approach
Tip 7. Follow Dr. Joseph’s Into, Through, and Beyond
approach.
It is not just the story that counts.
It’s the choice of qualities a student wants the college to
know about herself

32. Into,Through, and Beyond
Into
 It’s the way the reader can lead the reader into the piece—images, examples, context.
 Always uses active language: power verbs, crisp adjectives, specific nouns.
Through
 What happened…quickly…yet clearly with weaving of story and personal analysis
 Specific focus on the student
 Great summarizing, details, and images at same time
Beyond
 Ending that evokes key characteristics
 Conveys moral
 Answers ending prompts of two UC essays
 UC 1”and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations.”
 UC 2 “What about this quality or accomplishment makes you proud and how does it
relate to the person you are”

33. Goal of Into Through Beyond
Share positive messages and powerful
outcomes.
Focus on impact, leadership, and initiative.
If you want to include challenges, lead
quickly to who you are now.
Some states can use only socio-economic
status, but not race, in admissions, but in
your essays, your voice and background can
emerge.

34. Write the Unexpected
I knelt on the ground, aching from the asphalt grinding into my dusty and
blackened knees. A piece of thick blue chalk in hand, with one fluid sweep of the
arm, and then another, I connected two paths, creating a loop, where one path
swung back and reconnected with itself. I stood up. Colorful lines intertwined with
each other, knotting, weaving, splitting off, and joining back together. Taking
careful steps, I walked over my creation, around the corner of a building, and
watched as it continued to stretch out towards one end of school. I spied the start,
looked back around the corner, and imagined the end.
A few middle-schoolers stood at the edge of my maze, eying one particular path
from their feet, all the way until they lost it, then returning to their school day and
continuing on to class. A pair of freshman walked the paths, twisting and turning,
often looping back around; careful to stay within the lines I had drawn. I walked
back to where I was working, picked out a new piece of yellow chalk, and quickly
broke an open end of a path into two open ends, then two into four, sweeping,
crossing over, then under one another, morphing into green when the yellow chalk
ran out.

35. “I did it!”
I looked up. One of the freshmen stood at the end of one of the numerous openings of my half finished
maze, arms raised above his head, spinning slowly in circles. Staring blankly at him was his
counterpart, still lost deep within the curls of the maze.
It was not for myself that I had drawn the maze. It was for the kids mindlessly walking from class to class,
staring at the asphalt under their feet as they thought about equations and essays. I created it so that
these kids would have another world to enter as they crisscrossed the school, letting their minds
wander to a land of color and art.
But just as easily as I can draw a chalk line on the ground, I can drowsily greet hundreds of students on a
misty morning, moisten the ground, and wash away my chalk line. My work with film is different
though. When I create films, I expect them to last forever. I expect to be able to dig them out of an old
dusty attic box, plug in a dusty and outdated DVD player and watch what I made. When I come up
with an idea, a thought, I expect that idea to be buried deep within the folds of my memory for
eternity, waiting to be rediscovered.
But not chalk. When using chalk, I expect whatever I make to be gone almost as soon as I draw it, which
makes whatever I create all the more precious. When I only have a few seconds, a few hours, a few
days to cherish something, those fleeting moments become all the more powerful. All I can do is work
to make the most beautiful creations possible and cherish them while they last.

36. Tip 8. Use active writing: avoid passive sentences and
incorporate power verbs. Show when possible; tell
when summarizing.
Tip 9. Have trusted inside and impartial outside
readers read your essays. Make sure you have no
spelling or grammatical errors.
Take the Time With These Essays

37. Essays Are One Piece of
The Applicant’s Quilt
Test
Scor
es
Grad
es
Rigor of
Coursew
ork
Activitie
s
Rec
Letters
Uniqu
e
passi
ons
and
potent
ial
Demonstra
ted
Interest

38. Final Thoughts
Tip 10. Most importantly, make yourself come alive
throughout this process. Write about yourself as
passionately and powerfully as possible. Be proud of your
life and accomplishments. Sell yourself!!!
Students often need weeks not days to write effective
essays. You need to push beyond stereotypes.
Admissions officers can smell “enhanced” essays.
You can find many great websites and examples but each
student is different.

39. Contact Dr. Joseph
Rebecca Joseph, PhD
 Professor, Cal State LA
 Founder, Get Me To College
and All College Application
Essays
 Current 2016 Unsung Hero,
LA County
http://tinyurl.com/ocsa2016
Contact
getmetocollege@gmail.com
@getmetocollege
@allcollegeessay