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How to lose a job?
1. How to lose a job?
Just Let Me
Beer mug.jpg Go!!!
September 21st, 2012
Disclaimer: All opinions expressed here are mine and does not reflect the Firm’s outlook in any
case
Gurpreet Singh
2. The Prison Feeling - Office
Please set me free from this Prison!
How to lose a job? >> AIM 2012 |
3. Activity #1 – Monday Blues
A Report says: 33% people fall sick on Monday(s).. Lets see how!
Nothing better than an Extended weekend –
A Sick leave on Monday solves Monday Blues
How to lose a job? >> AIM 2012 |
4. Activity #2 – Punctuality Punctured
Excuses
Flat Tyre
Maid got late
Rains
Be late -15 minutes
daily!
How to lose a job? >> AIM 2012 |
5. Activity #3 – Conduct Toxic Meetings
Seat
Eat
Meet
Cheat
And Propose a new time for the next
Meeting …
How to lose a job? >> AIM 2012 |
6. Activity #4 – Wife Vs Work
Steps:
Fight with Wife on the
phone during the
office hours
Skip Office meetings
and date your wife
Honey, please book a
movie ticket for
Wife…! tomorrow and I will
take a sick leave for
the same
How to lose a job? >> AIM 2012 |
7. Activity #5 – Dress Codes
The Dude!
Bermudas + Slippers/ Crocs in office = Super Cool Look
How to lose a job? >> AIM 2012 |
8. Activity #6 – Seeking Conditional Feedback
And the condition is I expect only “Applause” in feedback
sessions, for all the mess-ups, I am already updated
upon!
How to lose a job? >> AIM 2012 |
9. Activity #7 – Cupid @ Work
Love is blind: It can happen at office as well. Plus, you gain
attention as everybody talks about you (not for work)
How to lose a job? >> AIM 2012 |
10. Activity #8 – Obligation to Descend
Go down in morals and fight with everybody
in the team and Become an Angry bird
How to lose a job? >> AIM 2012 |
11. Activity #9 – Whats on your mind?
If the firewall has
allowed FB, we
FB chat is better than should open FB
FB at office is Office chat- lets use this to during the office
fun! chat with each other hours
Update your Facebook status before
100
Likes
checking the hand-overs for different projects
A Hand-over can wait, a FB update can not!
How to lose a job? >> AIM 2012 |
12. Activity #10 – Multitasking
Only Updates on Servers –
No updates on my project!!!
You are being on hold as Technical
Updates are taking place on our
Servers Client
Employee
How to lose a job? >> AIM 2012 |
13. Activity #11 – Office Gossip
He said, She said, They said … Blah Blah
How to lose a job? >> AIM 2012 |
14. Activity #12 – Keep My Secret!
Jack, Buddy, I just got Wow! Super Cool!
interviewed in ABC firm Don’t worry, I will keep
your secret!
By the way, what are
they offering?
No Secret keepers at office
How to lose a job? >> AIM 2012 |
15. Activity #13 – Misfiring Emails/Chats
Misfiring emails/chats (containing Back biting of
colleagues/Boss) to “wrong recipients” can be “lethal”
How to lose a job? >> AIM 2012 |
16. Activity #14 – (Over)Booze in Office Parties
Free Liquor
How to lose a job? >> AIM 2012 |
17. Activity #14 – (Over)Booze in Office Parties
Team Spirit(s)
How to lose a job? >> AIM 2012 |
18. Activity #14 – (Over)Booze in Office Parties
Free-style dance (Bhangra with Salsa / Rum with Whisky)
How to lose a job? >> AIM 2012 |
19. Activity #15 – (Over)Booze in Office
Parties
The Next day
- Hangover
How to lose a job? >> AIM 2012 |
20. Activity #16 – Cover letter Xeroxed
If your current Boss “catches” your Cover letter-printout for
your “new” job, it would definitely make an impact
How to lose a job? >> AIM 2012 |
21. Activity #17 – Be the Monster
If does not work: then find a girl in Monster.com who
can help you to get a new job
How to lose a job? >> AIM 2012 |
22. Mission Accomplished – You are Fired!
I am FREEEEEEEEE NOW …
How to lose a job? >> AIM 2012 |
23. Even if you are not fired!
It means that there is some one “Up” there who loves you ….
Then find the someone, and Marry your Manager (high risks, high gains).
How to lose a job? >> AIM 2012 |