1. LESSONS FROM THE COFFEE SHOP TO BOOST SALES AND SEAL
DEALS
By Karen Friedman, Communications Coach, Author, Shut Up and Say
Something(Praeger 2010)
His name is Steve. He‟s retired now, but before spending mornings at the
local coffee shop, he spent forty years in sales, owned his own company and
boasted a resume of successes.
For a good ten years now, I‟ve enjoyed a morning cup of joe with Steve and
a small group of loyal Manhattan Bagel regulars in my neighborhood.
Sometimes it‟s a quick buy and bye. Other times we sit and chat. We‟ve
sipped through elections, wars, simmered over political differences and
added extra sweetener to sugarcoat a disappointing Philadelphia Eagles loss.
We‟ve come to value each other‟s opinions even if like a steaming cup of
coffee, our differences sometimes boil over.
So on this fall morning, I asked Steve to share his secret of sales success.
Without hesitation, he answered “ask for the order” and then added “let me
tell you a story”. Without realizing the full impact of those six words-let me
tell you a story- Steve shared the secret ingredient of his years of sales
success. He‟s a natural engaging story teller. From heroic saves on the
tennis court to his grandchildren‟s antics at holiday dinners, he has a knack
for using quick stories to create an emotional connection that makes „the
ask‟ personal and relevant to the listener‟s life.
As a television news reporter for two decades, I helped thousands of people
condense complicated information into engaging memorable stories that
impacted and influenced customers, communities, legislators and decision
makers. Today clients atKaren Friedman Enterprises rely on us to help
them communicate clearly, concisely and more persuasively to
articulatevision, advance careers, exude presence and communicate more
convincingly in critical situations to achieve their goals.
Consider this. At a recent communications training program for
pharmaceutical sales representatives, repeated role-playing revealed that
these seasoned pros knew everything there was to know about their product
and disease state. However, because their real-life face time with healthcare
providers is so limited, they said they felt pressured to quickly rattle off
information in monologue style rather than engage in a two-way dialogue to
identify the listener‟s specific challenges and concerns. As a result they were
missing huge opportunities to educate physicians about a frequently
misdiagnosed condition and sharing examples that might help them address
patient problems differently. Several weeks after the program, I received an

2. email from one of the reps who attended. She said after seeing the
difference in how her peers perceived her during role playing; she decided to
practice her new found skills at a sales call. Not only did a heartfelt story
about a patient move her client, but she senses a greater level of trust which
is positioning her and her company as a resource, not just a provider.
Explaining how a product or service helps people is far more effective than
listing its attributes. Yet sales people are often focused on what they want to
say instead of sitting in the seats of their customers.
When I wrote Shut Up and Say Something: Business Communication
Strategies to Overcome Challenges and Influence Listeners (Praeger
2010), I wanted to show readers how to convincingly and confidently
communicate their expertise in any business situation to overcome tough
challenges and maximize results. Below are 6 sure fire sales strategies and
specific how-to examples from the book that will help you turn no into yes
and send your competition out for dandruff shampoo to relieve their
constant head scratching.
1. ASK THE SO WHAT
It‟s easy to tell people why your solution is so great. But if your prospect or
customer doesn‟t fully understand the significance of the problem you‟re
solving, your solution doesn‟t mean anything. For example, I worked with a
financial services company that was getting ready to launch a new service it
hoped would generate millions in profits. At a practice presentation for an
audience of investors, the CEO said “recognizing securitization technology
would change the landscape for non-traditional banks” to which I replied “so
what?” While he insisted his customers would understand what he was
talking about, I urged him to answer the so what by addressing the problem
his company was solving, how that translated to financial opportunity
andwhat made his company a great investment in such a challenging
market. When re-stated, listen to the difference:
Problem: Extensive customer surveys show people are
disenfranchised with poor service, high fees and being turned down for
loans. In fact recent data shows 25 to 30 million small businesses are
being neglected by larger traditional banks which means there is a
huge untapped market.
Solution: We focus exclusively on small businesses so we understand
their very specific needs putting us in a unique position to lead this
initiative by providing faster access to money, no per-item transaction
fees and an entirely different growth model allowing customers to
manage cash flow.

3. 2. HEART OVER HEAD
Peter Guber, an Oscar-winning producer and business author reminds us
that “hits are made in the heart, not in the head.” That‟s why sharing
stories, examples and quick anecdotes are so important if you want to make
your message stick. People don‟t remember drifts of data, lists of product
attributes or mounds of minutia. However, to make a message compelling,
you must make it personal. When you personalize information, you‟re
helping your listener understand why they should care. If they care, they‟ll
listen.
3. CONFUSION VS CONTEXT
Don‟t assume that just because your listener understands your words, they
understand what you are saying. In today‟s world of complex communication
bombarding us at a dizzying pace, simplicity is more important than ever. In
ourcoaching and training programs, we focus on helping people put
information into context by using analogies, and examples they might use if
you were sitting in that coffee shop with a
friend.
Confusion: Our technology is better than the rest because it offers
multiple heterogeneous operating system versatility.
Context: Because we can securely handle thousands of data
transactions on a single server, customers benefit from more power
and efficiency, reduced costs and can spend more time concentrating
on their business.
4. KEEPERS AND KEY WORDS
Learning to avoid disclaimers and tentative phrases such as “It seems I get
results” or “I hope to have the plan by August” or “In my humble opinion” or
“I think or “I guess “will help position you as a more commanding and
credible communicator. Replace these soft words with stronger more
assertive language such as “I would like the plans on my desk by Monday”.
Here is another example from a chapter in the book called Keepers and Key
Words:
Question: Earnings will likely dip next year. Are
you confident?
Lacks Confidence: We‟re pretty confident
Conviction: We are extremely confident

4. 5. TO HAVE PRESENCE, BE PRESENT
If you want to excite other people, then act excited. That means sharing
information with expression, conviction and energy. Use your hands instead
of putting them in your pockets. Look people directly in the eye. If you want
to have presence, then you must be fully present by letting
listeners feel your enthusiasm. American philosopher Jim Rohn once said
“Effective communication is 20% what you know and 80% how you feel
about what you know.” If you want to connect people to what you are
saying, you must be connected to it first. You can check out our video
blogfor dozens of quick sales communication tips.
6. ONE SIZE DOES NOT FIT ALL
While it‟s important to have a message, it‟s more important to make sure
you tailor your message to specifically address your audience. As an
example, an international candy company with long time ties to the local
community makes a business decision to outsource some of its
manufacturing operations to China. This comes at a time when China is
under scrutiny for export safety with reports of Chinese-made toys and food
being linked to contaminants. The story hit the national wires and quickly
died. Weeks later as Christmas approaches, the company president wants to
revisit the issue and invite reporters to talk with him again. The president
thinks it‟s an opportunity to discuss how important it is for his company to
outsource in order to continue providing products at an affordable cost. We
advise against it.
While well intended, the president did not fully understand his audience—in
this case, readers. Readers don‟t care about his costs, but are concerned
with losing jobs, safety issues and the potential effects of cheap production.
Furthermore, since toys and food are a big deal during the holidays, the
story had the potential to generate even more unwanted attention.
Fortunately, he did not pursue it and the story died.
To better think like your audience, imagine you are away at college and call
home to talk to your parents. What stories would you tell them? What would
they want to know? What would you leave out that you don‟t want them to
know? Now, picture yourself talking to a friend. How would that conversation
differ from the one you had with your parents?
The next time you try to make a sale, think of the story you want people to
hear. How would you tell it over a quick cup of coffee to engage the listener
and help them understand how your solution will solve their problem? Look
no further than the wonderful example set late Apple co-founder Steve Jobs.

5. He appealed to our emotions by simply explaining how his products would
make our lives better and easier so we didn‟t mind eagerly waiting for the
next Apple invention we believed we must have before it even existed.
Back in the coffee shop, I swallowed the last of my coffee and readied to
leave my table with Steve, the man behind the bagel counter yelled over
“would you like any bagels today” to which I replied, “no thanks”. “Okay”, he
countered, “but they‟re just about to come out of the oven”. Well, come to
think of it, I was sort of hungry and could almost taste that fresh hot bagel
with a little bit of melted butter.
“On second thought, I‟ll wait and let me have two. One for Steve and one for
me. And by the way, thanks for asking.”
Karen Friedman is the author of “Shut Up and Say
Something: Business Communication Strategies to Overcome
Challenges and Influence Listeners”(Praeger 2010) and the co-author of
“Speaking of Success: World Class Experts Share Their Secrets”. Chief
Improvement Officer at Karen Friedman Enterprises, Inc., her techniques to
help business professionals become more powerful persuasive
communicators have been applied on four continents. A professional
communication coach and speaker, she is the winner of the prestigious 2011
Enterprising Woman of the Year Award, a former award-winning television
news reporter and a political candidate. She can be reached at 610-292-
9780 or by visitingwww.karenfriedman.com
12/7/11 Karen Friedman Enterprises, Inc. ���Coffee Shop
www.karenfriedman.com/gitomer/ 1/4
LE������ON��� F���OM ���HE COFFEE ���HOP ���O BOO������ ���ALE��� AND ���EAL DEAL���
LESSONS FROM THE COFFEE SHOP TO BOOST SALES AND SEAL DEALS
By Karen Friedman, Communications Coach, Author, Shut Up and Sa��� Something
(Praeger 2010)
His name is Steve. He���s retired now, but before spending mornings at the local coffee
shop, he spent forty years in sales, owned his own company and boasted a resume
of successes.
For a good ten years now, I���ve enjoyed a morning cup of joe with Steve and a small
group of loyal Manhattan Bagel regulars in my neighborhood. Sometimes it���s a quick
buy and bye. Other times we sit and chat. We���ve sipped through elections, wars,
simmered over political differences and added extra sweetener to sugarcoat a
disappointing Philadelphia Eagles loss. We���ve come to value each other���s opinions
even if like a steaming cup of coffee, our differences sometimes boil over.
So on this fall morning, I asked Steve to share his secret of sales success. Without
hesitation, he answered “ask for the order” and then added “let me tell you a story”.
Without realizing the full impact of those six words-let me tell you a story- Steve
shared the secret ingredient of his years of sales success. He���s a natural engaging
story teller. From heroic saves on the tennis court to his grandchildren���s antics at
holiday dinners, he has a knack for using quick stories to create an emotional
connection that makes ���the ask��� personal and relevant to the listener���s life.

6. As a television news reporter for two decades, I helped thousands of people
condense complicated information into engaging memorable stories that impacted and
influenced customers, communities, legislators and decision makers. Today clients at
Ka���en F���iedman En���e���p���i���e��� rely on us to help them communicate clearly, concisely
and more persuasively to articulatevision, advance careers, exude presence and
communicate more convincingly in critical situations to achieve their goals.
Consider this. At a recent communications training program for pharmaceutical sales
representatives, repeated role-playing revealed that these seasoned pros knew
everything there was to know about their product and disease state. However,
because their real-life face time with healthcare providers is so limited, they said
they felt pressured to quickly rattle off information in monologue style rather than
engage in a two-way dialogue to identify the listener���s specific challenges and
concerns. As a result they were missing huge opportunities to educate physicians
about a frequently misdiagnosed condition and sharing examples that might help them
address patient problems differently. Several weeks after the program, I received an
email from one of the reps who attended. She said after seeing the difference in how
her peers perceived her during role playing; she decided to practice her new found
skills at a sales call. Not only did a heartfelt story about a patient move her client,
but she senses a greater level of trust which is positioning her and her company as a
resource, not just a provider.
Explaining how a product or service helps people is far more effective than listing its
attributes. Yet sales people are often focused on what they want to say instead of
12/7/11 Karen Friedman Enterprises, Inc. ���Coffee Shop
www.karenfriedman.com/gitomer/ 2/4
attributes. Yet sales people are often focused on what they want to say instead of
sitting in the seats of their customers.
When I wrote Shut Up and Sa��� Something: Business Communication Strategies
to Overcome Challenges and Influence Listeners (Praeger 2010), I wanted to
show readers how to convincingly and confidently communicate their expertise in any
business situation to overcome tough challenges and maximize results. Below are 6
sure fire sales strategies and specific how-to examples from the book that will help
you turn no into yes and send your competition out for dandruff shampoo to relieve
their constant head scratching.
1. ASK THE SO WHAT
It���s easy to tell people why your solution is so great. But if your prospect or customer
doesn���t fully understand the significance of the problem you���re solving, your solution
doesn���t mean anything. For example, I worked with a financial services company that
was getting ready to launch a new service it hoped would generate millions in profits.
At a practice presentation for an audience of investors, the CEO said “recognizing
securitization technology would change the landscape for non-traditional banks” to
which I replied “so what?” While he insisted his customers would understand what he
was talking about, I urged him to answer the so what by addressing the problem his
company was solving, how that translated to financial opportunity andwhat made his
company a great investment in such a challenging market. When re-stated, listen to
the difference:
Problem: Extensive customer surveys show people are disenfranchised with
poor service, high fees and being turned down for loans. In fact recent data
shows 25 to 30 million small businesses are being neglected by larger traditional
banks which means there is a huge untapped market.
Solution: We focus exclusively on small businesses so we understand their very
specific needs putting us in a unique position to lead this initiative by providing
faster access to money, no per-item transaction fees and an entirely different
growth model allowing customers to manage cash flow.
2. HEART OVER HEAD
Peter Guber, an Oscar-winning producer and business author reminds us that “hits
are made in the heart, not in the head.” That���s why sharing stories, examples and
quick anecdotes are so important if you want to make your message stick. People
don���t remember drifts of data, lists of product attributes or mounds of minutia.
However, to make a message compelling, you must make it personal. When you

7. personalize information, you���re helping your listener understand why they should care.
If they care, they���ll listen.
3. CONFUSION VS CONTEXT
Don���t assume that just because your listener understands your words, they
understand what you are saying. In today���s world of complex communication
bombarding us at a dizzying pace, simplicity is more important than ever. In our
coaching and training programs, we focus on helping people put information into
context by using analogies, and examples they might use if you were sitting in that
coffee shop with a
friend.
Confusion: Our technology is better than the rest because it offers multiple
heterogeneous operating system versatility.
Conte���t: Because we can securely handle thousands of data transactions on a
single server, customers benefit from more power and efficiency, reduced costs
and can spend more time concentrating on their business.
4. KEEPERS AND KEY WORDS
Learning to avoid disclaimers and tentative phrases such as “It seems I get results”
or “I hope to have the plan by August” or “In my humble opinion” or “I think or “I
guess “will help position you as a more commanding and credible communicator.
Replace these soft words with stronger more assertive language such as “I would like
the plans on my desk by Monday”. Here is another example from a chapter in the
book called Keepers and Key Words:
12/7/11 Karen Friedman Enterprises, Inc. ���Coffee Shop
www.karenfriedman.com/gitomer/ 3/4
Question: Earnings will likely dip next year. Are
you confident?
Lacks Confidence: We���re pretty confident
Conviction: We are extremely confident
5. TO HAVE PRESENCE, BE PRESENT
If you want to excite other people, then act excited. That means sharing information
with expression, conviction and energy. Use your hands instead of putting them in
your pockets. Look people directly in the eye. If you want to have presence, then
you must be fully present by letting listeners fee��� your enthusiasm. American
philosopher Jim Rohn once said “Effective communication is 20% what you know and
80% how you feel about what you know.” If you want to connect people to what
you are saying, you must be connected to it first. You can check out our video blog
for dozens of quick sales communication tips.
6. ONE SIZE DOES NOT FIT ALL
While it���s important to have a message, it���s more important to make sure you tailor
your message to specifically address your audience. As an example, an international
candy company with long time ties to the local community makes a business decision
to outsource some of its manufacturing operations to China. This comes at a time
when China is under scrutiny for export safety with reports of Chinese-made toys and
food being linked to contaminants. The story hit the national wires and quickly died.
Weeks later as Christmas approaches, the company president wants to revisit the
issue and invite reporters to talk with him again. The president thinks it���s an
opportunity to discuss how important it is for his company to outsource in order to
continue providing products at an affordable cost. We advise against it.
While well intended, the president did not fully understand his audience—in this case,
readers. Readers don���t care about his costs, but are concerned with losing jobs,
safety issues and the potential effects of cheap production. Furthermore, since toys
and food are a big deal during the holidays, the story had the potential to generate
even more unwanted attention. Fortunately, he did not pursue it and the story died.
To better think like your audience, imagine you are away at college and call home to
talk to your parents. What stories would you tell them? What would they want to
know? What would you leave out that you don���t want them to know? Now, picture
yourself talking to a friend. How would that conversation differ from the one you had
with your parents?
The next time you try to make a sale, think of the story you want people to hear.

8. How would you tell it over a quick cup of coffee to engage the listener and help them
understand how your solution will solve their problem? Look no further than the
wonderful example set late Apple co-founder Steve Jobs. He appealed to our
emotions by simply explaining how his products would make our lives better and
easier so we didn���t mind eagerly waiting for the next Apple invention we believed we
must have before it even existed.
Back in the coffee shop, I swallowed the last of my coffee and readied to leave my
table with Steve, the man behind the bagel counter yelled over “would you like any
bagels today” to which I replied, “no thanks”. “Okay”, he countered, “but they���re just
about to come out of the oven”. Well, come to think of it, I was sort of hungry and
could almost taste that fresh hot bagel with a little bit of melted butter.
“On second thought, I���ll wait and let me have two. One for Steve and one for me.
And by the way, thanks for asking.”
Karen Friedman is the author of ���Shut Up and Say Something: Business
Communication Strategies to Overcome Challenges and Influence
Listeners”(Praeger 2010) and the co-author of “Speaking of Success: World Class
Experts Share Their Secrets”. Chief Improvement Officer at Karen Friedman
Enterprises, Inc., her techniques to help business professionals become more
powerful persuasive communicators have been applied on four continents. A
professional communication coach and speaker, she is the winner of the prestigious
2011 Enterprising Woman of the Year Award, a former award-winning television news
12/7/11 Karen Friedman Enterprises, Inc. ���Coffee Shop
www.karenfriedman.com/gitomer/ 4/4
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2011 Enterprising Woman of the Year Award, a former award-winning television news
reporter and a political candidate. She can be reached at 610-292-9780 or by visiting
www.karenfriedman.com
��� 2 0 0 7 KA RE N FRI E D M A N E N T E RP RI SE S I N C .