Managing conflict and dealing with difficult people

N
NEW CollegeNEW College
Managing conflict and difficult people is avoidable – just don’t go out!!
10. Are we going to finish on time? 9.  When is the coffee break? 8.  Will I have to do role- play? 7  It’s hard to change the way I respond isn’t it?  6.  Do I have to use this? 5.  How much do I have to note down?  4.  Can I use these materials? 3.  I do everything you are going to tell me, can I go? 2.  Yes but, that won’t work in real life will it? 1.  Can you really hypnotise me?  Top ten questions trainers are asked
How can you  help  someone else  take something from this session? How can I   help him,  help me  take something from this session? If you are going to spend the time here -   How can you  help  yourself   take something from this session?
 
 
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Assertiveness ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object]
Assertiveness is…. ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object]
Choosing your behaviour  ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object]
Types of assertion   ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object]
Types of assertion ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object]
 
Matching Observable Behaviour   ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object]
Solving problems with RADAR  R ealise  – that problems do occur and some are regular A ssess   – no boundaries of solutions  D ecide  – what to action A ct  – what will you do, when, how?  R eview   – did it make a difference?
Asserting yourself simply using the 4  ‘ I ’ s ’   Introduce Impact Inform Incentive
Assertiveness with the LADDER mnemonic   ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object]
Visual, Auditory & Kinaesthetic Visual Recall Auditory Recall Internal Dialogue  Visual Construct Auditory Construct  Kinaesthetic /Feelings
The Typical Assault Cycle Based on Kaplan and  Wheeler 1983 Possible additional assaults BASELINE BEHAVIOUR BASELINE BEHAVIOUR TRIGGER PHASE (A) ESCALATION PHASE (B) CRISIS PHASE  (C) PLATEAU RECOVERY PHASE (D) POST-CRISIS DEPRESSION PHASE (E)
The S.A.L.V.A.G.E. Strategy  ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object]
Disarming Anger ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object]
Levels of Listening  ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object]
[object Object],[object Object]
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Managing conflict and dealing with difficult people

  • 1. Managing conflict and difficult people is avoidable – just don’t go out!!
  • 2. 10. Are we going to finish on time? 9. When is the coffee break? 8. Will I have to do role- play? 7 It’s hard to change the way I respond isn’t it? 6. Do I have to use this? 5. How much do I have to note down? 4. Can I use these materials? 3. I do everything you are going to tell me, can I go? 2. Yes but, that won’t work in real life will it? 1. Can you really hypnotise me? Top ten questions trainers are asked
  • 3. How can you help someone else take something from this session? How can I help him, help me take something from this session? If you are going to spend the time here - How can you help yourself take something from this session?
  • 4.  
  • 5.  
  • 6.
  • 7.
  • 8.
  • 9.
  • 10.
  • 11.
  • 12.
  • 13.  
  • 14.
  • 15. Solving problems with RADAR R ealise – that problems do occur and some are regular A ssess – no boundaries of solutions D ecide – what to action A ct – what will you do, when, how? R eview – did it make a difference?
  • 16. Asserting yourself simply using the 4 ‘ I ’ s ’ Introduce Impact Inform Incentive
  • 17.
  • 18. Visual, Auditory & Kinaesthetic Visual Recall Auditory Recall Internal Dialogue Visual Construct Auditory Construct Kinaesthetic /Feelings
  • 19. The Typical Assault Cycle Based on Kaplan and Wheeler 1983 Possible additional assaults BASELINE BEHAVIOUR BASELINE BEHAVIOUR TRIGGER PHASE (A) ESCALATION PHASE (B) CRISIS PHASE (C) PLATEAU RECOVERY PHASE (D) POST-CRISIS DEPRESSION PHASE (E)
  • 20.
  • 21.
  • 22.
  • 23.

Notas del editor

  1. *Intro - from me *Metaphor – Your dog can’t swim *Questions
  2. *Activity – Values - What will be different when you are dealing even more effectively/assertively with others? What will it do or get for you being able to do this? *Activity - How would you describe a ‘difficult person’? What are their behaviours? *Activity - How else could they be described? – reframe
  3. *Activity – What are your own responses to difficult people. *Process – Think of the last time you encountered someone ‘difficult’. What did you notice about your response. Internal and external. Is this the same each time?
  4. *Activity – What sort of behaviour falls under these headings? *Activity – personality card sort – types of behaviours under headings
  5. *Point – Model someone who is assertive *Metaphor – Bob coaching
  6. *Activity – Times and places of assertiveness – Chart on page 17 to identify when and with whom you are assertive or not. What do you do differently? *Activity – Identify What behaviour/language etc causes you to become less assertive?
  7. *Activity – Using the scenarios on page 11, what could we do instead (assertiveness)?
  8. *Activity – Identify an ongoing situation and carry through the RADAR model in pairs
  9. Introduce - Introduce - be specific and simple, describe actions without using accusing statements, ensure you are clear about the issue under discussion  Impact - Impact - state what has happened, the effect of the actions  Inform - Inform - state the consequences of the action and what may happen in the future  Incentive - Incentive - state the benefits of coming to a mutually successful conclusion in resolving the issue *Activity - Could have 2 with an objective observer. *Activity - Give scenario – A member of staff is consistently arriving late for work . Carry out the 4 ‘I’s to resolve the issue.
  10. * Activity demonstration – in pairs, watch the eyes
  11. *Activity – Tips page on 33 – what could you do more of?
  12. *Activity – Back to back drawing shape *Activity – Questionnaire on page 41 (what interferes with listening) *Activity – Anchoring positive states and ridding ourselves of conflict residue