1. Copy editing III: Structure
Review interview assignments: Top bloopers
Diagnosing weak stories: confusion, incoherence
and weak constitution
Story modeling and planning
In-class assignment: Save an incoherent story

2. Story symptoms
 Unclear, unsupported or buried lead
 Poorly used quotes
 Straying from story topic
 Poor explanation
 Lack of transitions
 Illogical order
 Wordiness/jargon

3. Case studies
 Forensic hospital story – confusing lead
 Berry farm story – buried lead and visuals
 Corn story – overuse of quotes, lack of
explanation, etc.
 Neighbourhood watch story – lack of transition

4. Prevention
Go over notes and quotes. Write an outline:
 Rank new information by order of importance
 Add in supportive information (specific
details, quotes)
 Weave in background
 Add perspective

5. Flaherty outline
 Lead: Flaherty makes statement, gets criticized
 Sentence 2: Follow up on the statement and criticism
 Expansion on Manley’s argument, with specifics, quotes
 Context of Flaherty’s comments and background on the
debate.
 Expansion on Flaherty’s points, with specifics, quotes
 KPMG study – relevant related news
 Post-meeting follow-up from Manley, Flaherty
 Perspective/look ahead to future of business

6. Accident story
 Lead: Summarizes what witness saw
 Follow-up: Witness’s statement zeroes in on community
issue.
 Description of accident
 Background: victim’s identity, health status, police details
 More witnesses/anecdotes on crosswalk
 Councillor: What is being done?
 Final quote brings it back to current victim. Too little too
late.