According to a study of Big Brothers, Big Sisters in the USA, one of the largest mentoring organizations in the world

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Sermons For
Youth - 10
Characteristics
of Successful
Mentors
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According to a study of Big
Brothers, Big Sisters in the
USA, one of the largest
mentoring organizations in
the world
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1. Be a friend
• Don’t act like a parent
• Don’t try to be an
authority figure
• Don’t preach about
values
• DO FOCUS ON THE BOND
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2. Have realistic goals and
expectations
• Focus on overall
development, not
performance and change
• Center initial goals on the
relationship itself
• Emphasize friendship over
performance
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3. Have fun together
• Youth spell love – TIME
• Informal activities lay the
foundation for formal ones
• Shared activities become
great discussion starters
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4. Give your protégé voice
and choice in deciding
activities
• Help them to explore
possibilities and then make
their choices
• Listen more than you talk
• Question more than you
Preach
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5. Be positive
• Praise and
encouragement build self-esteem
• Be supportive rather than
critical – focus on
solutions rather than
problems
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6. Let the protégé have much
of the control over what
the two of you talk about
• Don’t push, be patient
• Be sensitive and
responsive to cues
• Let them know that can
confide in you without you
becoming judgmental
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7. Listen
• Let youth vent without
criticizing them
• When you listen they
see you as a friend, not
an authority figure
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8. Respect the trust your
protégé places in you
• Respond in ways that
show you understand.
This is not the same as
agree
• Reassure the protégé that
you are there for them
• Advice should not be
dispensed but mutually
discovered
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• If you have to convey
concern or displeasure,
do it with caring and
understanding
• Sound like a friend not a
parent… youth easily
discern the difference
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9. Remember your
relationship is with the
youth and not the youth’s
parent
• Maintain cordial contact,
but you are not there to
be a spy for parents. You
are there to be a
champion for the youth
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• Keep your focus on the
youth
• You are not there to bring
about the parents wishes,
but to help the youth
discover their potential
• Be non-judgmental about
the family
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10. You are responsible for
building the relationship
• Take responsibility for
making and maintaining
contact
• Don’t expect adult to
adult relationships
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