Art of Effective parenting- Eustress Nurture Foundation

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Eustress kit- Manufacturing Confidence
K.S. Srinivasarengan, M.B.A, M.Sc, Psychology.
Dedicated to All My Teachers.
Art of effective Parenting
We are bringing awareness in behavior change and
make people become motivated to live without stress

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When saying NO to children, parents should be
careful.
It’s a little word with a lot of influence.
Maybe it’s because of what happens
after we say the word “no”

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“Children are not emotionally or developmentally equipped to make
major decisions or rules, or to self-regulate.
That’s your job.
And if you don’t do it, your child will feel a sense of confusion and
internal chaos, which could manifest itself in
stomach ache, headache, tantrums and even ulcers.”

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Instead of focusing on no, “find what the child can do,”
A child who wants a candy/chocolate/junk food can be
redirected with
“You can have a piece fruit you like or dry fruits or healthy
snacks”
because it presents a viable, acceptable alternative to the
unwanted action and lets the child feel that instead of forbidding
something, you’re actually giving him an option.

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Start singing the word no —whatever song came to mind,
the word ‘no’ to be added.
It would get him laughing, and he would start singing ‘yes’ in
response—it would be actually quite fun.”

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. Don’t Jump to ‘No’ Automatically
When children approach you for something, ask them why they
want or need the item.
“If their answer gives you insight into why you should agree,
then say ‘yes’.
If you say ‘no,’ they know that they have been heard and not
just dismissed.”

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Reserve the word “no” for truly dangerous situations,
when a child supplies an age-appropriate explanation
of their reasoning.
Otherwise, please find alternative words to maintain
limits. Some examples of “no” alternatives include:
“Not today”
“Maybe another time”
“Let’s choose something else.”

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How Much Sleep Does your Child Need?
children need more snooze-time than you do. Got a toddler?
He should get 11 to 14 hours of total sleep in a day.
Three- to 5-year-olds need a little less -- about 11 to 13 hours.
If your child is 6 to 13, he should get 9 to 11 hours of sleep
Teens need 8 to 10 hours,
but how much sleep they actually get is another story.

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Bedtime doesn't have to be a battle!
Stick to a routine, even on the weekends.
No smart phone near bed
Plan an enjoyable activity before sleep, such as
reading by dim light.
Make sure the bedroom is dark, cool, quiet, and
screen-free
For problem sleepers, reserve the bed for shut-
eye only -- no reading, homework, or playing
games

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It’s up to us parents to pass on the basic skills children will need
to be successful adults, like being able to swim, do their own
laundry, or cook a healthy meal.
The real question is when should you teach them?
Here are age-by-age guidelines for skills kids
should learn before they move out on their own.

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Follow a Sleep Routine: Ages 1 to 6
Yes, good sleep hygiene is a life skill, for which many of us
struggle even after past our childhood years.
When your child is a toddler, you can start teaching them to
follow a consistent bedtime routine ,
( Which we as adults needs it)
Try the four B’s—bathing, brushing, books, and bed
and follow the routine as consistently as possible each day of
the week.
Once your kids are around 6 or 7 years old, they can follow
their own routine and put themselves to bed.

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Basic Cooking: Ages 8 and up
Your kids may not be the next Master Chef Junior, but
acquiring basic cooking skills will be a huge help later
in life.
Get them involved in the kitchen no matter what age
they are and they’re likely to eat healthier and try
more new foods

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Manage Money: Ages 6 and up
As soon as your children are old enough to get an
allowance and understand how money works, they’re
old enough to start picking up financial skills.
It’s a good time to teach them to wait before they buy
something and to distinguish between wants and needs.

Kids ages 6 to 10 can learn about comparison
shopping when you’re at the mall or online shopping
together, and they can log onto a savings account you
open with them to track their money.
Teens should learn about compound interest and
how a credit/debit card works
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Age shouldn’t be the defining factor for learning this or
any other skill, so keep your individual child’s
development in mind when you choose when to teach
them.
All children develop at different paces, so it’s important
to go with how interested they are and their maturity
level as well as their age
You might be pleasantly surprised that your children are
ready to do much more at an earlier age than you
thought if you give them a chance

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Need for Nutrition.
Nutition focuses on how diseases, conditions and problems
can be prevented or lessened with a healthy diet.
In addition, nutrition involves identifying how certain
diseases, conditions or problems may be caused by dietary
factors, such as poor diet .
The number of calories you need to eat each day depends on
several factors, including your age, size, height, sex, lifestyle,
and overall general health.

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Keep It Short
For younger children , “Parents tend to feel that they have to
explain and re-explain to a child why they said ‘no,’”
“You do not have to do this. Shorter is actually better because
a young child does not have the intellectual capacity to follow
your reasoning.
Long explanations often make them feel more confused and
frustrated.”

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Set a Budget
Once children reach their preteen or teenage years,
setting a budget for clothing/personal items can
help them make reasonable choices,
and eliminate the need for you to refuse to buy
them items in the first place,

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There are four major recognized parenting styles:
Which one is yours?
Authoritative
Neglectful
Permissive
Authoritarian

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Neglectful parenting
Neglectful parenting is one of the most harmful
styles of parenting that can be used on a child.
Uninvolved parenting, sometimes referred to as
neglectful parenting, is a style characterized by a
lack of responsiveness to a child's needs
. Uninvolved parents make few to no demands of
their children and they are often indifferent,
dismissive or even completely neglectful.

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Child neglect is a form of child maltreatment, a deficit in meeting
a child's basic needs including the failure to provide basic physical,
health care, supervision, nutrition, emotional, education and/or safe
housing needs.
Neglectful parenting is damaging to children, because they have no
trust foundation with their parents from which to explore the world.
Beyond that, children who have a negative or absent relationship
with their parent will have a harder time forming relationships with
other people, particularly children their age.
If you suspect that you or a friend of yours may be a neglectful
parent, it is important to seek help in a way that does not damage
the child further or intrude into their life in a disruptive manner
.

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Neglectful parenting have the following harmful TraitsNeglectful parenting.
Neglectful parenting have the following harmful Traits
They do not care child’s needs—emotional, physical, and
otherwise
They do not have an understanding of what is going on in your
child’s life.
They do not keep their home as a a safe space for the child to
share their experiences and expect positive feedback rather
than negative or no feedback
·

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They spend long periods of time away from home, leaving the
child alone.
· They often find excuses for not being there for their child
· They do not know their child’s friends, Teachers.
· They are not involved in their child’s life outside the home.

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Permissive Parenting
Permissive parenting, also known as indulgent parenting is
another potentially harmful style of parenting.
These parents are responsive but not demanding. These
parents tend to be lenient while trying to avoid
confrontation.
The benefit of this parenting style is that they are usually very
nurturing and loving.
The negatives, however, outweigh this benefit

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Permissive Parenting
Few rules are set for the children of permissive parents, and
the rules are inconsistent when they do exist.
This lack of structure causes these children to grow up with
little self-discipline and self-control.
Some parents adopt this method as an extreme opposite
approach to their authoritarian upbringing, while others are
simply afraid to do anything that may upset their child.

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Authoritarian Parenting
Authoritarian parenting, also called strict parenting, is
characterized by parents who are demanding but not responsive
Authoritarian parents allow for little open dialogue between
parent and child and expect children to follow a strict set of rules
and expectations.
They usually rely on punishment to demand obedience or
teach a lesson.

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Authoritative Parenting
Authoritative parenting is widely regarded as the most
effective and beneficial parenting style for normal children.
Authoritative parents are easy to recognize, as they are
marked by the high expectations that they have of their
children, but temper these expectations with
understanding & support for their children as well .
This type of parenting creates the healthiest environment
for a growing child, and helps to foster a productive
relationship between parent and child.

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Do you have these Traits ?
If not please learn and develop this to be an authoritative
parent:
set clear standards for their child's conduct, but Keep
disciplinary methods are supportive, rather than punitive.
Ensure your child’s day have structure to it, such as a planned
bedtime and understood household rules?

Make them understand the consequences for disrupting this
structure or breaking the household rules?
Ensure your child understand the expectations clearly that you have
for their behaviour, and keep your expectations reasonable
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Do you have a healthy and open line of communication with
your child?
That is, does your child feel that they can speak to you about
anything without fear of negative consequence or harsh
judgment.

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.
Open easy communication style with the child.
If a parent can foster the ability to speak to their child
without judgment or reprimand, they will be more likely to
have insight into the child’s life and understanding,
providing the child with a deeper understanding of the
world around them.

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POINTS TO PONDER
•Keep your Eyes Open
•Develop a Working Relationship with Teachers
•Communicate with your Child
•Work on Social Skills
•Help children grow independent

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Have daily interactions where you share a smile, a good
word, a laugh, a story, or a meal together.
The main thing is that you put the time and energy in so
that he knows that he/ she matters in your life.
Put down your smart phone. Talk to your child every
day-even if it’s just for a few minutes. Look at him/her
and make eye contact while having a conversation.
Speak to your child in the tone and with the words that
you wish he would use with others.

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Express your unconditional LOVE EVERY DAY, no
matter how tough the day was for you.
Help your children navigate the road of
life “Skillfully & successfully”.
Love children-Love All.

Art of Effective parenting- Eustress Nurture Foundation

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