1. Prof.
Hadl ey’s
“Last Lecture”

2. t oday’s
tHeme
“Über Honesty.”
and occasional ranting.

3. 30
y e a r s o Ld

4. 150
Pounds

5. 130
Pounds

6. c Heck
out my
wallet.

7. don’t be
a dick.

8. you guy s
scare tHe
cr a p out
of me.

9. 8am 8am
mond a y wednesday
my first
y e a r t e acH i ng
at s ca d.

10. 2pm 2pm
mond a y wednesday
my second
y e a r t e acH i ng
at s ca d.

11. 5pm 5pm
tu e sd a y thur sday
Last week
t e acH i n g
at s ca d.

12. twist!

13. wH at a coinciden ce !
this may quite possibly be my last lecture ...
... at least for a bit.

14. fall 2009
200 9 fal
not
te ac H i ng
at s ca d.

15. a Hear t y
discl aimer

16. tHe view s of tHis
Presentation are
no t necess arily
tHose of t He
s avann aH college
of ar t and design.

17. t weeting
my sPeecH

18. 140
w orkh ar d beni c e t -
opeop l ed on’tbea d i -
c kd on ’ ttak et h i ng s f o -
r g r an ted d oi tf or m e-
bl o wb u bbl esd os o m t
hin g new ever d ay lo v
e w ha tu d obmor eli k e-
f ra nce l ovei tor l e a v e .

19. Please
grab your
cell and
s tand.

20. tHe
wH i t e H o u se .

21. you ’ r e P l u gge d
i n, b u t y o u ’ re
no t co n ne ct ed.
when you’re in class you a ren’t
really in class. you’re thinking about
facebook. you’re thinking about that
other thing. you aren’t present.

22. s e r i o u s ly ?
you ’ re go nn a
wa s t e $200
a class?
an d m y t i m e ?
even knowing how much i care about
giving you the education you need?

23. y o u a r en ’ t r eal ly
conne c t e d at a l l .
i f y o u s i t d o w n t o do a
P ro j ec t, r eal ly d o it.
pLease d o n ’ t H a l f - ass it.
if you’re the second-most intrested
person in class, you’re already behind.
think about all the “firsts .” in a
hundred different schools. yikes.

24. Ho w m a ny Pro g r a m s a r e t He r e ?
10 0 ? r eal ly?
$1.50
in l ate fees
wisdom .

25. deatH
mat c H

26. be i ng w o r s t i n t H e c l a ss
d o e s n ’ t m e a n a s m ucH
as n o t fi n d i n g a j o b . .. and
n o t f i n d i n g w H er e yo u fi t.
f o r e x a mP l e :
e ar pLu g s a re s ex y.

27. if it’s absol utely tHe
w or st Project in tH e
w orld, find tH e tHing
in it you like.
if you don’t have it, you’d better
cultivate it. start getting curious.
and playful.

30. ma ke miLd m i s cH ie f.

31. an d tH at d o e sn’t
in c l ud e s t e a ling
f8 k e y s o f f all
tHe k e y b oa rd s.

32. da rw i n s t u d i e d f i n cH es.
l o o k w H at H a PPen e d.
wH at a re y o u r f i n cHe s?

33. connect
e ve n t o yo u r sen t en ce s.
“ t H at ’ s c u t e.”
“ l o l .” “ o m g .”
“i l i ke i t.”
“aw eso m e.”
“ ba d - ass.”

34. use
m ore
words.
Plea s e u s e m o r e ef f i n g w or ds.
#*#*!!@#$!

35. “ i l i ke i t ! ”
vs.
i l i k e tH e way tH at d ress
m o v e s . tH e d e l i cat e y ell o w
s t i t cH i n g r e m i n d s m e of my
gr a n d m a’ s aPro n. i l o ve Ho w
t H e f l o w e r s r esem b l e l a r k s ...

36. “ i d o n ’ t H ave
a ny tH i ng .”
al l yo u r s tu f f d o esn ’ t
act u al l y c o n n e c t y ou .

37. w H i ni n g .
it’ s no t
jus t f o r
em o pr i n-
cesses
a nymore .

38. s ca d i s n ’ t Per f ec t, i kno w.
bu t i t’ s Pr et t y i n c r edi b le .
c onn e c t yo u r se l f
t o t H e sc H o o l .
h o w m a n y p e o p l e i n the
wo r l d e v e n g e t a c h ance to
co m pl a i n a b o u t th e choice
of f i v e ca f e te r i a s ? o r only
h aving 1 8 c o mp u t e r labs?

40. co n n e c t
t o yo u r b el i ef s.
m e e t m y g r an d m a H amPt on,
tH e reP u b l i ca n q ua k e r .

41. t He
“ f igH t i n ’ q ua ke r .”

42. e ve n w Hen yo u g et u Pse t,
yo u ’ re u P set at t H e su r face ,
n o t tH e s u b s ta n c e . y ou’re
uP s e t at t H e so u n d b i t e s.
w e ne e d m o r e P o rc He s.
an d P e oPl e t i m e. an d mor e
H u m a n co n n e c t i o ns.

43. it’ s p o p u l a r t o b e d i s co n-
n ected a n d d i si n t er e s t e d.
p e o p l e em b r ac e b ei n g l os t.
th e reas o n people your ag e so m e-
ti m es feel like they have no t h i n g i s
b ecaus e s ociety (adver tisin g ) h as
to ld them t h ey can buy h app in e ss.
F u lF i l l me nt doesn ’t w ork that way.

44. tHe mos t
frigHtening
lecture
ever.

45. wH at a re yo u g o n n a d o t Hat ’s
tH e d i ff er en c e b et w e e n a
m acHi nc e d o i n g i t, i f you
aren ’ t co n n e c t e d t o your
w o rk , a nd i f yo u d o n ’ t ca r e ?
Ho w a r e y o u b e t t e r tHan a
c o m P u t er P ro g r am?

46. if y o u ’ r e a b s e n t f ro m cl ass
o ne day, w o u l d an yone
ac tua l ly n o t i c e
tH at yo u w er e g o n e ?

47. connect
t o y o u r o w n a b i l i t y.
“ i can ’ t d r aw.”
i t’ s y ou r r esPo n si b i li t y.
n o b o dy ’ s g o n n a Pu l l you
tH ro u gH. s o m e t i m e s i s tand
in f ro n t o f m y c l a s s a nd s ay,
“ c ’ m o n ! ” an d yo u d on’t.

48. f o r tH o se o f yo u w H o s at
i n m y cl a s s a n d s e n t text
m e s s ag e s , o r d i d fac e book,
y o u Lo st yo u r c Ha nce .

49. connect
t o yo u r fam i l i es.
if y o u bi c k er o r a rg u e wi t H
yo u r fa m i ly, w e l l tHe n wH at
g o o d ’ s t H at ?
“my grandma buys us pajamas for
christmas every year. it’s so lame.”

50. co n n e c t
t o tH e P eo Pl e a ro u n d you.

51. “ u m , i ’d
L ike a
gr a nde
p Le ase .”
*d o n ’ t b e a di ck .

52. co n n e c t
t o y o u r c o m m u n i t y.
y o u g e t m o r e o u t o f it,
b e cau s e i t ’ s H u m a n c o ntact.
a “ c ” Pl ay i n P e r s o n is a
tH o u s a n d t i m e s b e t t e r t Han
a “ c ” P l ay o n t v.
i fell in love with my guy at the worst
dance recital we ever saw.

53. co n n e c t
t o t H e sc H o o l .
w Ho w e n t t o t H e
i n t e r n at i o n a l f e s t i val?
wH o att en d ed t H e t en n i son
l e c tu re w ed n esday n igHt ?
j ua re z v s . f r a n k ge Hry
c ’ m o n.

54. c on n e c t t o me .
i w r i t e o n e H e l l u va l etter
o f r ec o m m en dat i o n.

55. co n n e c t
t o w H at yo u l o v e .
i f yo u ’ r e b o re d i n c l a sses.
if yo u ’re h e re be c a u se
yo u ’ r e b e i n g f o r c e d . if you
ju s t d o n ’t l i k e y o u r m ajo r.
if yo u ’re mi s e ra ble ...

56. tH e n
wHy
a r e y ou
H e re ?

57. be i nte r es t ed i n i t, o r do i t
e ve n i f yo u d o n ’ t l i ke i t.
som e o f y o u a r e H e r e , because
y o u d o n ’ t wa n t t o g o t o a
“ r ea l” sc H o o l .
s o m e o f y o u a r e n ’ t t rying
Ha rd e n o u g H t o b e g o o d at i t.
s o m e o f yo u a r e t ryi n g, b u t
y o u H at e w H at yo u do.

58. p L e a se
s t op
wa s t i ng
e v e ry
b o d y ’s
ti m e .

59. tak e a y e a r i n tHe Pe ac e cor Ps
o r e u r r a i l i n g o r r e n ting a
m o t o rc yc l e t o t r av e l uP t He
c oa s t. d o t H at b e f o r e you
s tum bl e t H ro u g H an o t H er ye a r
disconn e c t e d . wHy go
i n t o d e b t f o r n o tH i n g? w Hy
no t ta k e t i m e t o f i n d wHat you
reaLLy wan t t o do?

60. be f o re
you
a p pLy
t o g r ad
sc Ho oL
...

61. l e a r n t o car e a b o u t
so m e tH i n g , b e f o r e y o u was te
a n o tH e r y e a r n o t ca ring
a bo ut a n y t Hi n g .
g o i n g t o g r ad sc H o o l i n s t e a d
of ac t ua l ly d o i n g s o m etHing
is a H u g e was t e o f t i m e . Huge .
s t oP ta k i n g uP s Pac e in my
c l a s s be cau se yo u d o n ’t wa nt
t o ac t ua l ly g ro w uP.

62. “ l o v e w H at yo u d o”
d o e s n ’ t m e a n y o u sH o uld do
s o m e tH i n g t H at ’ s ea s y.
it ’s n ot i c e cr e a m .
th e r e’ s n o t e n o u g h i ce
c r e am j o b s i n t h e w o rld.
so m e o f y o u a re ac tu ally
g o i n g to h a v e to work
to fin d f u l f i l l me nt.

63. wH o i s s He?
and w H y d o w e car e a b o ut He r ?

64. s u san b o y Le.
it’s tHe b i g s c e n e i n s o meone’s
l i f e , a n d i t ’ s n o t a P l ay.
th e j u d g e i s c r y i n g b ecause
sh e ’ s m o v e d b y t h e music,
b u t a l s o s h e k n o w s that
person has never had a
ch a n c e . . . u n t i l ...

65. m a k i ng f u n o f ev ery tHi ng
i s n ’t H ealt H y.
m a k i ng f u n o f ev ery tHi ng
and n o t ca r i n g a b o u t a ny tHing
be c o mes Pr et t y em P t y.

66. tHe r e a s o n i t ’ s i mPo r tant, is
b e cau s e wH e n i t ’ s y o u, you
wa nt s o meo n e t o car e back .
y o u wan t so m eo n e t o
con n e c t w i t H you.

67. em patHy
rocks .

68. H i gH
sc Ho oL:
m o r e of
a c Ha L-
L e n g e?

69. y o u sH o u l d e i tH e r b e angry
or a sH a m e d , b u t i t s e e ms like
y o u j u s t d o n ’ t g i v e a sH*t.
we ’ re teac H i n g yo u t Hi ngs
tH at yo u s H o u l d ’ v e been
tau g H t i n ju n i o r H i g H engli sH.
ta k e o w n er sH i P o f y our
ed u cati on, an d o f c r i t i qu e s.

70. pL e a s e
don’t
e m pt y
t He
d raw e r.

71. con ne c t i o ns .
t H e re ’ s a m i sc o n c eP t i o n t Hat
eve ry o n e’ s m ad e i t o n Hi s or
H er o w n. tH i n k H o n e s t ly about
H o w m a n y P e oP l e w o r ked t o
get yo u H er e.

72. yo u o w e i t t o a l l tH e minimum
wag e w o r k e r s wH o ca n ’t Have
a n y tH i n g b e t t e r .
y o u o we i t to th e 8-ye ar - old
k i d s a t the moses jackson
cen te r w h o do n ’ t h a v e c amer as
fo r th e ir p h o to g ra ph y class.
y o u o w e it to the security
g u a rd you see at the
b u i l d i n g every day. you owe
i t to your grandma.

73. y o u o we
it t o me .

74. war n i n g :
yo u ’ r e ab o u t t o He a r
so m e r ea l ly ba d w or ds.

75. c H u c k i e : n o . n o , n o no no . f * ck you,
yo u d o n ’ t o we it to you rsel f man,
y ou ow e it to me. c uz to mo r row i’m
gonna w a k e up and i ’ll be 5 0, and i’ll
sti l l b e d o in ’ th i s sh * t. and that’s
all r i g h t . t hat’s fine. i mean, you’re
sitti n’ o n a w i n n i n ’ l o ttery tick -
et. a nd y o u ’ re to o much o f a p * ssy
to ca s h it in , a n d th a t’ s bu llsh * t.
‘ c ause i ’ d d o f * ckin’ anything to
have w h a t y o u g o t. s o w o u ld any of
the s e f * c kin ’ g u ys. i t’ d be an insult
to u s i f y o u ’ re sti l l h ere i n 20 year s.
h angin ’ a r o un d h ere i s a f * ckin’
wa s t e o f y o ur time.

76. ben
affLeck,
use
mo re
wor ds.

77. t o n y at tH e m o s e s jack son
cen te r i s g o n n a H av e t o w or k
t e n ti m e s H a r d er t o g et wHat
a n y o f y o u Hav e .
an d y o u ’ r e g o n n a waste it?

78. you
owe
it to
t on y.

79. wHo is
miroslav
ticHy?
fa i r wa r n i n g : H e’ s a ta d
o n tH e creepy si de .

81. i f y ou ’ r e rea LLy
c o nn e ct ed , t H en yo u wi ll
sl a s H s o m e o f yo u r d r a ma .
i d o n ’ t wa nt
a n y o f y o u guys
to e v e r a s k for
a g ra d e t h a t
y ou d id n ’ t e a rn.

82. if y o u g et t o c l ass and you
do n ’ t H av e y o u r w o r k , don’t
try t o Pa s s o f f s o m e sH*t you
scra P e d t o g et H er b ef o re Ha nd.
own u p t o it.
e xc uses d o n ’ t c u t i t.

83. disconnect
fro m exc u ses.
“i b ro k e m y f o o t, a n d i can’t
get t o c l ass.”

84. ba.
Lo.
ney.

85. m y c om P u t er c r asH e d.
i H ave “ f em a l e Pro b l e ms.”
i H a d t o m eet m y l a n dl or d.
i d i d n’ t k n o w an y t H i n g wa s due .
i f o rg o t.
i o v er sl ePt.
m y g i r l f r i en d c o o k ed.*
* (f o o d Po i so n i n g .)
m y g ran d m a d i ed . ag a i n.

86. so?
wHat are
you gonna
do about it?

87. i f y o u H o n e s t ly d o n ’ t want
t o be H e re, t H en p L eas e
ta k e a b r ea k . l eav e .

88. LHa d L e y
@sc a d . e d u
your mom
c a n c a L L m e.

89. tH e s e c o n n e c t i o n s
m ay ac t ua l ly H e l P you
l i v e l o n g er .
a l o t l o n g er .

90. case s tu dy: o l d m i n n eso ta nu ns.

91. tHose wH o maintained an interes t in Hobbies,
craft s and activities tHrougHout tHeir lives were
al so tHose wHo lived tHe l onges t and s tronges t.

92. cross w ord
Puzzles grant
l ong life.

93. 3
a sure rival.
___

94. 3
a sure rival.
___
ban.

95. 3
a rescue tower.
___

96. 3
a rescue tower.
___
aaa.

97. 9
a number
of PeoPle.
________

98. 9
a number
of PeoPle.
________
novocaine.

99. connect
to tHe world.
gener al k n o w l e d g e tests
who w ro t e s w a n l ake?
w h o ’ s o u r m a y o r?
nam e s o me o n e i n the
c ur r ent a d mi n i s tra ti on ’ s
c a bi n e t .

100. be more
like
france.

101. do wHat
you tHink
is rigHt.

102. l e t s r e a l ly
c o n n e ct
wi tH e ac H o t He r.

103. grab your
s c a d id
a n d b u b b l es.

104. L e t ’ s go.
b ro u g Ht e n ’s
fi r s t- e v er and
b i gges t- ev er
bu bb l e Pa rad e .

105. and i
don’t
mean
HaLf-
a s s i t.

106. t He
pepsi
ca n
w i sd om.

107. Q &a.