Harvard Innovation Lab Guide to Mutual Mentorship

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Harvard innovation lab Michael J Skok Startup Secrets Mutual Mentoring
@innovationlab
@mjskok #startupsecrets startupsecrets.com
Mastering the Gift of
Mutual Mentorship
STARTUP
An insider’s guide to unfair competitive advantage
SECRETS
#startupsecrets
MICHAEL J SKOK
Hi Harvard innovation lab
startupsecrets.com
@mjskok
Tweet questions to:

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@innovationlab
Background
• These slides are adapted from a highly interactive workshop on
mentoring given at the Harvard Innovation Lab.
• For more context, read this article first:-
Want the best mentor? One thing to know…
https://www.linkedin.com/today/post/article/20130618132340-1893586-want-the-best-
mentor-one-thing-to-know
• The class was designed to help both Mentors and Mentees gain the
best from building a mutual mentoring relationship
• The video accompanying the class will be embedded here as Harvard
makes it available. In the meantime leave us your feedback on what
has / has not worked for you in your mentoring experiences… Thank
you!

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Mentoring is a gift…

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• Some things to think about…
– Who do we want to give it to?
– How do we give it?
– Who do we want to receive it from?
– How do we receive it?
– What would it look like?
– How would we use it?
– What are our motivations?

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• But in order to give or get the gift, there are
some skills to be gained

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Do you know what help you want
and how to ask for it?
• Are you seeking a handout
or real help?
• Do you want an answer or
are you really looking to
learn?

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Think of it as a game of Chess…

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You can easily ask for the next
move..

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But wouldn’t you rather learn how
to master the game?

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3 Skills…
Leading to QED

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First skill
Question answers

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Questioning
Open vs Closed?
– Think which might be more helpful to you…
Example:
• Closed question:
– Should I do A or B?
• Open question:
– How should I think about this decision?

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Questioning
• OK... but aren’t answers just as important
sometimes?

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Answers?
• Are they appropriate for YOU?
• Tempt you to take the road already traveled
• Don’t develop curiosity…
• Combinatorial thinking can be much more
powerful than individual answers
• … and what happens when you don’t have
someone there to give you answers?

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Answers are for history lessons
Questions are for future breakthroughs
Breakthroughs present opportunities for Startups
“We cannot solve our problems with the
same thinking we used when we created
them."
-
Albert Einstein

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How about asking for questions?
• SERIOUSLY!
– Think about it… when you were
asked a really great question,
did it get your mind working?
– Consider asking your mentor for
a great questions to help you
puzzle the answer for yourself…
• … see later
…enabling the “AHA!”
moment

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What’s stopping you from answering
your own questions?
• What do you need?
– A new skill?
– An experience?
– Some knowledge?
• How and where can I best get these?
• Is it one-off help or is it an enduring kind of learning you
need?
Mentorship is often only a part of the solution
– Sometimes mentors are just pointers to other resources

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What if you get stuck?!
• … you really don’t know what to do?
• Ask your mentor to
– Tease out where you’re stuck
• Brainstorm new ideas, considerations, play the “what if”
game..
– How did you get stuck?
• Get your mentor to review your process
– How can you avoid getting to this place again?
• Do you have some resistance, preconception etc?
• Develop problem solving skills…
– Again to find your own path

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Problem solving skills…
• See this article on
– 8 Levels of Problem
Solving
– 8 Ways to Encourage
Breakout Solutions
Including a story of how
Amazon turned a problem
into a billion dollar
business
http://www.mjskok.com/resource/how-amazon-turned-problem-bn-opportunity

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Nothing worse…
…than answering the wrong question well!*
Newton’s Apple vs Apple’s Newton
*with thanks to Alejandro Aravena, TEDGlobal 2014

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So how do you find the right
questions?
• Could you ask the market?
– Ask the customer, user, potential market?
• At least understand their view of the problem
But what if you don’t even know who that is or
how to segment them… then what?

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Tools
• Tools for guiding you to the right questions…
– Brainstorming
– Research
– Discovery, exploration
– Field work, research
– Etc…
– Frameworks (my personal favorite)

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Framework example…
Gain Pain
Value
Prop
Evaluate Build
Problem
Ideas
Solution
Define
from startupsecrets.com value proposition

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Framework goals…
• Straw-man
• Basis to discuss
• Common language
• Establish milestones
• Enable self-assessment
…enjoyable journey to your own enlightenment

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Second skill
Establishing fidelity

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Establishing fidelity…
• Fidelity of communication between Mentor,
Mentee
– Active listening
= checking for and confirming what you heard
– What if you heard right but don’t’ understand?
• Ask more questions of course!

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Fidelity check
• How often do you hear this?
“Oh no, I thought you meant …
• Why leave it to chance? Wouldn’t it be better
to confirm right away?
“Did I hear you right when you said… ?
“Did you mean…?
“Am I understanding this right…?

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Third skill
Should you use all the advice you get?

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Third skill: Deciding
• Deciding…
– Your situation?
– Does this apply?
– What might be different?
– How might you improve it?
– Based on the approach, how might you reinvent
it?
– Or is it really really relevant to you at all ?!

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@innovationlab
Startup Secret:
“Don’t take advice blindly, take it
mindfully”
Your mind and instincts are your best resources to set a
course for something that can work for YOU.

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QED!
• 3 Skills needed:
1. Q uestioning - what’s needed
2. E stablishing - fidelity
3. D eciding - what applies to
you

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Mentors…

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What makes a great mentor?
Impact!

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How do you really make an
impact?
• AHA!
• Eureka!
• &*!^#%!

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@innovationlab
Enabling the Eureka! moment…
• Mentor to Mentee test:
– If I give you this answer, then what will you do with
it?
– What comes next?
(Hint: If it only advances you one step, it's probably not a
good question or answer. Remember the chess game, are
you helping them master it?)

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@innovationlab
Enabling the Eureka! moment…
• Example:
Question for answer:
– Mentee: Should I price this at x or y?
– Mentor: y
Question for question:
– Mentee: how should I charge for my product?
– Mentor: where is the core value and who will see
that and pay for it?

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What are you trying to develop in
your Mentee?
• Mentors, if you’re not giving Mentees answers,
what are you giving them?
– Curiosity
– Joy of learning
– Confidence to try
– Resourcefulness, initiative – eg EXTERNAL validation
• A journey from AHA to WOW - I can do this !!
– Enlightenment

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@innovationlab
Mentors
• Be open, honest and accurate wherever
possible
• Don’t be afraid to say you don’t know either!
• Always look for teaching moments
“To encourage and beyond!”
– with apologies to Buzz Lightyear

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Remember
• For Startups in particular:
“There is no failure, only learning”
#nomorefear
• So make it safe and leave room to fail / learn

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Startup Secret:
“Things are rarely ever as good as they
seem,
or as bad as they seem in the moment”
• The mentor’s role is to pick the mentee up
when they are down, AND keep them from
rising too far up!

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How do you know you're a good
mentor or mentee?
• Is this working?
– Ask for feedback!
• How do you improve?
– Ask for feedback!

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Record & review regularly
• Mentees - record what you learned!
– Share with your mentor at your next checkpoint
– How you learn is a great guide for your mentor to teach
you
• Mentors – figure out how to coach your specific
mentee
– Everyone learns differently, successes AND failures
• Book: "On Managing Yourself”
• Review regularly
– Mutual feedback
– If the relationship isn’t working… it won’t fix itself!

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Aren’t we all possible mentors?
Peers…

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Peer mentorship
• The power of peer mentorship...
– Who else are you on this journey with?
• Co founders?
• Other peers in the iLab?
• Friends?
• Family (can be tricky!)

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Surprise!
People trying to learn themselves,
often make the best mentors, because
they’re asking questions!

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• The question is:
– Do you have it?
or
– Do you give it?
Neither: At it’s best, giving and receiving

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Most of us start without it,
but most of us feel it was a gift to give
and receive once we learned how to do it
Enjoy it MUTUALLY !


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Conclusion
• Mentoring and being mentored is a skill like
any other
• You can learn to be a great mentor by being a
mentee
• Mentoring is best when it’s mutual

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Where do you start?
• With a mutual contract
– Expectations on both sides
– Your individual and joint expectations of each
other
• ENJOY IT! It’s a real gift!

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The importance of YOU in the
equation…
“Nothing is impossible, the word itself
says I’m possible."
- Audrey Hepburn

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@innovationlab
Upcoming classes
See http://mjskok.com/events for details and sign
up
• 10/15 - How to Be Mentored DONE!
• 10/30 - Startup Roadmap
• 11/5 - Value Proposition
• 11/20 - Vision, Mission, Culture

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Sign up at …
www.startupsecrets.com
mjskok.com
@mjskok
/mjskok
linkedin.com/in/mjskok
bit.ly/mjskok-google
bit.ly/mjskok-youtube

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@innovationlab
Thank You!
STARTUP
SECRETS
#startupsecrets
MICHAEL J SKOK
Hi Harvard innovation lab
startupsecrets.com
@mjskok

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@innovationlab

Harvard Innovation Lab Guide to Mutual Mentorship

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