Mentorship is a seemingly simple concept. Get some help from someone more experienced than you. So why do we bother teaching a class on it? Because like anything else it's a skill to mentor and be mentored. And if we can learn that skill it can be a real gift, both to give and receive.
But first of all you've got to know what you're looking for in mentorship. Is it a handout or real help? Do you want answers or are you really looking to learn? For those looking to learn and build not just knowledge but skills for self sufficiency, mentoring can be a mutually rewarding gift.
Think of the process of being mentored as a game of chess. You can easily ask for the next move, but wouldn't you rather learn to master the game?
See the presentation to learn 3 skills to get you going on that path:-
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Harvard innovation lab Michael J Skok Startup Secrets Mutual Mentoring
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Mastering the Gift of
Mutual Mentorship
STARTUP
An insider’s guide to unfair competitive advantage
SECRETS
#startupsecrets
MICHAEL J SKOK
Hi Harvard innovation lab
startupsecrets.com
@mjskok
Tweet questions to:
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Harvard innovation lab Michael J Skok Startup Secrets Mutual Mentoring
@innovationlab
@mjskok #startupsecrets startupsecrets.com
Background
• These slides are adapted from a highly interactive workshop on
mentoring given at the Harvard Innovation Lab.
• For more context, read this article first:-
Want the best mentor? One thing to know…
https://www.linkedin.com/today/post/article/20130618132340-1893586-want-the-best-
mentor-one-thing-to-know
• The class was designed to help both Mentors and Mentees gain the
best from building a mutual mentoring relationship
• The video accompanying the class will be embedded here as Harvard
makes it available. In the meantime leave us your feedback on what
has / has not worked for you in your mentoring experiences… Thank
you!
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Harvard innovation lab Michael J Skok Startup Secrets Mutual Mentoring
@innovationlab
@mjskok #startupsecrets startupsecrets.com
Mentoring is a gift…
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Harvard innovation lab Michael J Skok Startup Secrets Mutual Mentoring
@innovationlab
@mjskok #startupsecrets startupsecrets.com
Mentoring is a gift…
• Some things to think about…
– Who do we want to give it to?
– How do we give it?
– Who do we want to receive it from?
– How do we receive it?
– What would it look like?
– How would we use it?
– What are our motivations?
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Harvard innovation lab Michael J Skok Startup Secrets Mutual Mentoring
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Mentoring is a gift…
• But in order to give or get the gift, there are
some skills to be gained
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Harvard innovation lab Michael J Skok Startup Secrets Mutual Mentoring
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Do you know what help you want
and how to ask for it?
• Are you seeking a handout
or real help?
• Do you want an answer or
are you really looking to
learn?
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Harvard innovation lab Michael J Skok Startup Secrets Mutual Mentoring
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Think of it as a game of Chess…
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Harvard innovation lab Michael J Skok Startup Secrets Mutual Mentoring
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@mjskok #startupsecrets startupsecrets.com
You can easily ask for the next
move..
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Harvard innovation lab Michael J Skok Startup Secrets Mutual Mentoring
@innovationlab
@mjskok #startupsecrets startupsecrets.com
But wouldn’t you rather learn how
to master the game?
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Harvard innovation lab Michael J Skok Startup Secrets Mutual Mentoring
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3 Skills…
Leading to QED
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Harvard innovation lab Michael J Skok Startup Secrets Mutual Mentoring
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First skill
Question answers
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Questioning
Open vs Closed?
– Think which might be more helpful to you…
Example:
• Closed question:
– Should I do A or B?
• Open question:
– How should I think about this decision?
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Questioning
• OK... but aren’t answers just as important
sometimes?
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Answers?
• Are they appropriate for YOU?
• Tempt you to take the road already traveled
• Don’t develop curiosity…
• Combinatorial thinking can be much more
powerful than individual answers
• … and what happens when you don’t have
someone there to give you answers?
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Answers are for history lessons
Questions are for future breakthroughs
Breakthroughs present opportunities for Startups
“We cannot solve our problems with the
same thinking we used when we created
them."
-
Albert Einstein
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How about asking for questions?
• SERIOUSLY!
– Think about it… when you were
asked a really great question,
did it get your mind working?
– Consider asking your mentor for
a great questions to help you
puzzle the answer for yourself…
• … see later
…enabling the “AHA!”
moment
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What’s stopping you from answering
your own questions?
• What do you need?
– A new skill?
– An experience?
– Some knowledge?
• How and where can I best get these?
• Is it one-off help or is it an enduring kind of learning you
need?
Mentorship is often only a part of the solution
– Sometimes mentors are just pointers to other resources
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What if you get stuck?!
• … you really don’t know what to do?
• Ask your mentor to
– Tease out where you’re stuck
• Brainstorm new ideas, considerations, play the “what if”
game..
– How did you get stuck?
• Get your mentor to review your process
– How can you avoid getting to this place again?
• Do you have some resistance, preconception etc?
• Develop problem solving skills…
– Again to find your own path
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Harvard innovation lab Michael J Skok Startup Secrets Mutual Mentoring
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Problem solving skills…
• See this article on
– 8 Levels of Problem
Solving
– 8 Ways to Encourage
Breakout Solutions
Including a story of how
Amazon turned a problem
into a billion dollar
business
http://www.mjskok.com/resource/how-amazon-turned-problem-bn-opportunity
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Nothing worse…
…than answering the wrong question well!*
Newton’s Apple vs Apple’s Newton
*with thanks to Alejandro Aravena, TEDGlobal 2014
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So how do you find the right
questions?
• Could you ask the market?
– Ask the customer, user, potential market?
• At least understand their view of the problem
But what if you don’t even know who that is or
how to segment them… then what?
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Tools
• Tools for guiding you to the right questions…
– Brainstorming
– Research
– Discovery, exploration
– Field work, research
– Etc…
– Frameworks (my personal favorite)
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Framework example…
Gain Pain
Value
Prop
Evaluate Build
Problem
Ideas
Solution
Define
from startupsecrets.com value proposition
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Framework goals…
• Straw-man
• Basis to discuss
• Common language
• Establish milestones
• Enable self-assessment
…enjoyable journey to your own enlightenment
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Harvard innovation lab Michael J Skok Startup Secrets Mutual Mentoring
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Second skill
Establishing fidelity
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Establishing fidelity…
• Fidelity of communication between Mentor,
Mentee
– Active listening
= checking for and confirming what you heard
– What if you heard right but don’t’ understand?
• Ask more questions of course!
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Fidelity check
• How often do you hear this?
“Oh no, I thought you meant …
• Why leave it to chance? Wouldn’t it be better
to confirm right away?
“Did I hear you right when you said… ?
“Did you mean…?
“Am I understanding this right…?
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Third skill
Should you use all the advice you get?
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Third skill: Deciding
• Deciding…
– Your situation?
– Does this apply?
– What might be different?
– How might you improve it?
– Based on the approach, how might you reinvent
it?
– Or is it really really relevant to you at all ?!
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Startup Secret:
“Don’t take advice blindly, take it
mindfully”
Your mind and instincts are your best resources to set a
course for something that can work for YOU.
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QED!
• 3 Skills needed:
1. Q uestioning - what’s needed
2. E stablishing - fidelity
3. D eciding - what applies to
you
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What makes a great mentor?
Impact!
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How do you really make an
impact?
• AHA!
• Eureka!
• &*!^#%!
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Enabling the Eureka! moment…
• Mentor to Mentee test:
– If I give you this answer, then what will you do with
it?
– What comes next?
(Hint: If it only advances you one step, it's probably not a
good question or answer. Remember the chess game, are
you helping them master it?)
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Harvard innovation lab Michael J Skok Startup Secrets Mutual Mentoring
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Enabling the Eureka! moment…
• Example:
Question for answer:
– Mentee: Should I price this at x or y?
– Mentor: y
Question for question:
– Mentee: how should I charge for my product?
– Mentor: where is the core value and who will see
that and pay for it?
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What are you trying to develop in
your Mentee?
• Mentors, if you’re not giving Mentees answers,
what are you giving them?
– Curiosity
– Joy of learning
– Confidence to try
– Resourcefulness, initiative – eg EXTERNAL validation
• A journey from AHA to WOW - I can do this !!
– Enlightenment
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Harvard innovation lab Michael J Skok Startup Secrets Mutual Mentoring
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Mentors
• Be open, honest and accurate wherever
possible
• Don’t be afraid to say you don’t know either!
• Always look for teaching moments
“To encourage and beyond!”
– with apologies to Buzz Lightyear
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Remember
• For Startups in particular:
“There is no failure, only learning”
#nomorefear
• So make it safe and leave room to fail / learn
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Harvard innovation lab Michael J Skok Startup Secrets Mutual Mentoring
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Startup Secret:
“Things are rarely ever as good as they
seem,
or as bad as they seem in the moment”
• The mentor’s role is to pick the mentee up
when they are down, AND keep them from
rising too far up!
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Harvard innovation lab Michael J Skok Startup Secrets Mutual Mentoring
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How do you know you're a good
mentor or mentee?
• Is this working?
– Ask for feedback!
• How do you improve?
– Ask for feedback!
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Harvard innovation lab Michael J Skok Startup Secrets Mutual Mentoring
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Record & review regularly
• Mentees - record what you learned!
– Share with your mentor at your next checkpoint
– How you learn is a great guide for your mentor to teach
you
• Mentors – figure out how to coach your specific
mentee
– Everyone learns differently, successes AND failures
• Book: "On Managing Yourself”
• Review regularly
– Mutual feedback
– If the relationship isn’t working… it won’t fix itself!
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Harvard innovation lab Michael J Skok Startup Secrets Mutual Mentoring
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Aren’t we all possible mentors?
Peers…
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Harvard innovation lab Michael J Skok Startup Secrets Mutual Mentoring
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Peer mentorship
• The power of peer mentorship...
– Who else are you on this journey with?
• Co founders?
• Other peers in the iLab?
• Friends?
• Family (can be tricky!)
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Harvard innovation lab Michael J Skok Startup Secrets Mutual Mentoring
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Surprise!
People trying to learn themselves,
often make the best mentors, because
they’re asking questions!
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Harvard innovation lab Michael J Skok Startup Secrets Mutual Mentoring
@innovationlab
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Mentoring is a gift…
• The question is:
– Do you have it?
or
– Do you give it?
Neither: At it’s best, giving and receiving
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Harvard innovation lab Michael J Skok Startup Secrets Mutual Mentoring
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Mentoring is a gift…
Most of us start without it,
but most of us feel it was a gift to give
and receive once we learned how to do it
Enjoy it MUTUALLY !
48. 49
Harvard innovation lab Michael J Skok Startup Secrets Mutual Mentoring
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Conclusion
• Mentoring and being mentored is a skill like
any other
• You can learn to be a great mentor by being a
mentee
• Mentoring is best when it’s mutual
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Harvard innovation lab Michael J Skok Startup Secrets Mutual Mentoring
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Where do you start?
• With a mutual contract
– Expectations on both sides
– Your individual and joint expectations of each
other
• ENJOY IT! It’s a real gift!
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The importance of YOU in the
equation…
“Nothing is impossible, the word itself
says I’m possible."
- Audrey Hepburn
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Upcoming classes
See http://mjskok.com/events for details and sign
up
• 10/15 - How to Be Mentored DONE!
• 10/30 - Startup Roadmap
• 11/5 - Value Proposition
• 11/20 - Vision, Mission, Culture
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Sign up at …
www.startupsecrets.com
mjskok.com
@mjskok
/mjskok
linkedin.com/in/mjskok
bit.ly/mjskok-google
bit.ly/mjskok-youtube
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Thank You!
STARTUP
SECRETS
#startupsecrets
MICHAEL J SKOK
Hi Harvard innovation lab
startupsecrets.com
@mjskok