When’s the last time you asked for a raise? Negotiated a job offer? Landed a new client? Haggled a realtor down? Scored a better cell phone contract?
Particularly when it comes to work, studies show that fewer women than men negotiate at all.
Whether you love playing hardball or the process makes you extremely nervous, this presentation will shed some new light on what many find very difficult. Our end goal: help you embrace negotiation and up your game!
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Presented at Montreal Girl Geeks, September 2015
By Liesl Barrell and Mandy Poon
6. If you don’t look or feel like that, it’s no wonder
negotiating might make you nervous!
7. But, it doesn’t matter what side of the table
you’re on… it will come up eventually.
And you will need to BRING IT!
That’s why we’re here today.
8. (Or, how to channel your inner Alicia Florrick.)
Let’s talk about negotiation.
9. WHO ARE WE?
LIESL BARRELL
Co-Founder at Third Wunder.
Business owner. Digital marketer.
Pro-negotiator.
“I’ll play hardball just
for laughs. MUAHAHA!”
10. WHO ARE WE?
MANDY POON
Strategic planner at DentsuBos.
Dessert connoisseur.
Still trying to embrace negotiating.
“Why is hardball so…
hard?!”
14. “I’m happy with what I
have, why should I listen
to your offer?”
COMMON
MISCONCEPTION
15. ACTUALLY…
Hearing current market information is always
good preparation for when you’re ready to
negotiate… and you can always refer the
opportunity to someone else. Win win!
16. “It’s just a few
thousand dollars…”
COMMON
MISCONCEPTION
17. ACTUALLY…
Let’s use a hypothetical.
Mandy and Liesl, both 30 years old, receive
identical $100,000 salary offers from the same
company. Mandy manages to negotiate a 7.4%
salary increase (to $107,400). Liesl accepts the
initial offer of $100,000.
Getting More of What You Want by Margaret A. Neale and Thomas Z. Lys
18. ACTUALLY…
If Mandy and Liesl both stay at the company for
35 years, and both receive identical 5% raises
each year…
Mandy could retire at 65, while Liesl would
have to retire at 73 to be as wealthy as Mandy
at retirement.
Getting More of What You Want by Margaret A. Neale and Thomas Z. Lys
28. Negotiation is a journey.
With partners, future employers, realtors…
But especially with yourself.
29. It can get a
little deep.
But it’s important
to figure out what
you’d be fighting
for, and why.
30. What do I want?
Why do I want it?
Who do I
want to
become?
31. “When alternatives are on a
par, it may matter very much
which you choose, but one
alternative isn't better than
the other…
That's why the choice is hard.
When we choose between
options that are on a par…
We can put our very selves
behind an option.
Here's where I stand.
Here's who I am.”
32. “When we create reasons
for ourselves to become
this kind of person rather
than that, we
wholeheartedly become
the people that we are.”
Ruth Chang
“How to make hard choices” (TED Talk)
36. Up next,
research.
You have to validate the
things that you want,
find out where you can
play, and come up with
alternatives for
anticipated objections.
39. REAL LIFE EXAMPLE: JOB OFFER
TOOLS TO FIND THE BARGAINING ZONE
• Payscale
• Glassdoor
• Other job offer sites that list salary and company information
• Industry-specific studies
• Interview cheat sheets
• Talk to people who (have) work(ed) there
• Talk to recruiters
• Talk to industry experts
• Research people you’d be meeting
• Be inspired by deals-related shows
40. FIGURE OUT
WHAT MATTERS
Soul-search: who you are & who you want to become
Define your objectives with tangibles
Research to determine the bargaining zone
#WWAD
42. When you think like you have alternatives
you’re in the best negotiating position.
(even when you don’t),
43. But you actually do
have alternatives!
You have the option of the
life you have now. And the
opportunities that you will
find elsewhere, at another
time.
47. If you have a real-world chance to
take and embrace the opportunity to practice.
negotiate with real stakes at hand,
(It’s rarer than you think.)
48. Chats with your cell
phone provider, visits to a
market while on vacation
in Thailand, or even
telemarketing calls can
become opportunities to
increase your confidence
with negotiating.
49. They’re also helpful
to find the
negotiation voice
and tactics that are
most genuine and
natural for you.
50. Just as how different cultures will negotiate differently
because they communicate differently, you will also have
to hone your individual style of negotiation.
CANADA
http://www.businessinsider.com/communication-charts-around-the-world-2014-3
51. Just as how different cultures will negotiate differently
because they communicate differently, you will also have
to hone your individual style of negotiation.
CHINA
http://www.businessinsider.com/communication-charts-around-the-world-2014-3
52. Just as how different cultures will negotiate differently
because they communicate differently, you will also have
to hone your individual style of negotiation.
ITALY
http://www.businessinsider.com/communication-charts-around-the-world-2014-3
53. To find your voice and style, it might help
to channel an alter-ego.
DEMANDY
LETHAL
54. It’s not just the language
and your negotiating
voice that you have to be
confident with.
There is also another
negotiation side effect:
parallel universes.
55. Reservation Aspiration
No go zone | Say yes, and have a different life
You have to get comfortable with the idea of parallel
universes, where possibilities are uncertain.
56. PRACTICE
FEARLESSNESS
Take all opportunities – big or small – to up your confidence
Find your true voice and the tactics that work for you
Get comfortable with straddling parallel universes
#WWAD
60. Always role play with a peer or mentor:
someone who has expertise in or
understanding of what you’re going
through, and who would be able to
provide constructive feedback.
61. HOW ROLE PLAY HELPS
• Takes the edge off
• Brings the things that matter
to you to the surface
• Starting point to structuring
your arguments
• Helps you realize your
discomforts or problem areas
• Helps you practice timing
• With the right person, you’ll
get helpful feedback
62. Don’t forget to bring these guys
to the role play party.
DEMANDY
LETHAL
63. Then, write down
your research-based
plan of attack.
Even if you won’t use a
script, writing will help
structure your thoughts
and package the points
you want to make.
64. GET READY
Never walk into any negotiation unprepared
Role play with a mentor
Pull data that will support your points
Plan and structure what you will say
#WWAD
66. Before you go into it…
Think of it as a dance, not a battle.
67. Build a narrative.
Start with the positives:
how perfectly you
connected with the
opportunity, how this
would be a win-win
scenario for everyone.
68. Hook the other side in,
and get them rooting
for you!
Then, logically go
through your points of
negotiation. Clarify that
getting some wiggle
room would make it an
easy yes.
69. Play to the
medium.
Negotiating in person,
over the phone, or even
via email are all very
different scenarios. Be
sure to proceed
accordingly.
70. Just because something
is serious, doesn’t mean
you can’t inject a little
humour. Humour will
help bridge the gap, and
cut through
awkwardness & tension.
Remember:
humour is ok!
72. People have a tendency
of trying to fill silences
– and sometimes, that
leads to information
that can be leveraged.
Don’t let that be you!
Sometimes, it’s better
not being the first to
speak.
73. Know where you
stand.
Are you their first choice?
Do they have other options?
Do YOU have other options?
Gauge. This makes a huge
difference in terms of how
firm you are, and what you
negotiate for.
74. REAL LIFE EXAMPLE: JOB OFFER
THINGS YOU CAN NEGOTIATE FOR
Things that come in your package
• Salary
• Vacation time & how soon you get it
• Perks: cell phone, parking spot, etc.
• What you can expense
• Insurance: how soon you get it, an amount to make up the difference in how
much it costs you in your paycheque
• Flex time, work from home
• Work hours
• Special requests: education, tuition, personal advancement, special services
Things that relate to the offer
• How long you have to decide
• Start date
• Signing bonuses
75. If you are given an offer that requires relocation, please make sure you do your
research thoroughly! This means looking into things like cost of living
differences, working visas, taxes, moving expenses, costs of flights home.
There will also be more up for negotiation (not always offered upfront), but be
sure to ask:
• Visa sponsorship
• Relocation allowance (moving expenses, lump sum for new home)
• Temporary housing
• Permanent housing
• Plane/train tickets to your new home, for you and your SO
• Home visit allowances
• Assistance from accountants, tax lawyers, real estate agents
REAL LIFE EXAMPLE: JOB OFFER
THINGS YOU CAN NEGOTIATE FOR
76. Know when
to stop.
While you should walk
away happy, a negotiation
cannot drag on forever.
Keep your word if you use
language like “I’ll accept,
if…”, and your needs are
met.
77. It’s like an audition
for your future
relationship.
Not only are you auditioning –
so is the other party. You will
learn a lot about each other in
this highly charged moment.
Be cognizant of the messages
you send, and receive.
78. WIN AT
GAME TIME
Build your terms into a narrative.
Listen, and don’t talk too much.
Gauge where you stand, and know when to stop.
#WWAD
80. Push your luck.
In a negotiation, there’s always a certain amount
of bluffing. Just remember, there are things you
should never fudge. #integrity!
81. Follow your gut.
If you see any red flags, something makes you
uncomfortable, or it seems just to good to be
true, remember: you are not obligated to say
yes, just because you negotiated.
82. You’ve done the homework and know what you
want, but don’t position them as your needs.
Position them as elements that will make both
parties win. Always circle back to the benefit.
Spin things to value.
83. Determine how high-stakes this is for you.
Understand the person you’re negotiating with,
and the resources they might have available.
Also, if you need to be a good negotiator for
your role, you can likely go harder.
Know how hard
you can go.
84. Buy as much time
as you need.
There may be major life decisions at stake!
“Sleep on it” is an expression for a reason.
And know this: if you’re getting pressured,
there’s probably a reason.
85. Whether it’s tears, anger, yelling, laughter – it’s
ok to be emotionally invested in something.
Don’t apologize for your emotion. Instead, relay
how passionate you are and how much you care.
Negotiation can bring out
the best or worst in us.
86. The last thing we’ll leave you with…
Some phrases to keep in your back pocket.
87. WHEN YOU HEAR…
“What’s your current salary?”
“They don’t need
to know this.”
“What I am looking for
is ___.”
THINK… AND SAY…
88. WHEN YOU HEAR…
“What are your expectations?”
“I can’t be too specific
here.”
“I’m looking for
something in the region
of X to Y, but it depends
on…”
THINK… AND SAY…
89. WHEN YOU HEAR…
“Here’s the offer.”
“That’s awesome!
I should take time to
think about this.”
“… Thank you. I’m going
to need X days to
decide.”
THINK… AND SAY…
90. WHEN YOU HEAR…
“We need to know by X day.”
“Is that enough time
for me?”
“I need to… (e.g. run
this by my family).
I need until Y.”
THINK… AND SAY…
91. WHEN YOU HEAR…
“This is our best offer.”
“LIES! I need to find
the bargaining zone.”
“I’ve done my research.
I know what I bring to
the table. This is what I
would consider…”
THINK… AND SAY…
92. WHEN YOU HEAR…
“Now is not the right time.”
“How do I get them on
my side?”
“Can we work on a plan
together?”
THINK… AND SAY…
93. Negotiations don’t have to be scary.
Rejection isn’t always bad.
If you don’t ask, you’ll never know.
96. You’re the
boss.
What are the specific
things you should
consider when you
negotiate in this
position?
97. Whom you
Negotiating on behalf of others
can be one of the most powerful
things you can do. (You may find
it even easier to rave about
someone other than yourself!)
It is also a great way to hone
your negotiating skills, while
testing your relationship with
your superiors.
negotiate for
has changed.
98. Come with a
Take the time to brainstorm,
because you’ll always have to be
ready for alternatives.
As the boss, people come to you
for solutions. You can’t give
everyone what they want, but at
least you’ll have a plan to make
sure they’re satisfied.
backup plan.
99. Find and know
Sometimes, asking for certain
things can very political.
Reinforcement from other
trusted sources can help you
build your case, and strengthen
your negotiation.
your allies.
100. Timing is
You know the situation at your
company: financials, wins,
losses, concerns, when key
decisions are normally made.
To increase the chance of things
going your way, make sure you
pick the right time.
everything.
101. Be fair.
The way you negotiate (or don’t)
may deeply impact others. Be fair
in what you offer, how you react to
negotiations, and when you choose
to negotiate on others’ behalves.
Getting someone down to a
below-standard salary is not
necessarily a win. Neither is
waiting for a star employee to
come with his/her hand out.
While your bottom line matters,
the individuals for whom you are
responsible are even more
important.