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A practical guide to difficult conversations oanhss pp final version

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A practical guide to difficult conversations oanhss pp final version

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Michael Klejman, Bill Smith and I (Katherine Popaleni) developed this power point and used it in our presentation to delegates at the Ontario Assoc. of Not for Profit Homes and Services for Seniors.

Many of us struggle when we want to bring up a sensitive issue with others (peers, colleagues, family, friends, neighbours etc.) Our awkward, uncomfortable feelings can lead us to react in the moment or put things off for fear of damaging the relationship. The reality is that the issue does not disappear, and, if not addressed, it can lead to misunderstandings and strained relationships.

The power point outlines a new approach that will help you handle challenging conversations with confidence and success. The PP outlines a 3-stage model for 'coaching' your own conversations constructively.

While the focus of this group was health care, the model can apply to different kinds of workplaces as well as in personal relationships.
Hope it's helpful.
Katherine Popaleni

Michael Klejman, Bill Smith and I (Katherine Popaleni) developed this power point and used it in our presentation to delegates at the Ontario Assoc. of Not for Profit Homes and Services for Seniors.

Many of us struggle when we want to bring up a sensitive issue with others (peers, colleagues, family, friends, neighbours etc.) Our awkward, uncomfortable feelings can lead us to react in the moment or put things off for fear of damaging the relationship. The reality is that the issue does not disappear, and, if not addressed, it can lead to misunderstandings and strained relationships.

The power point outlines a new approach that will help you handle challenging conversations with confidence and success. The PP outlines a 3-stage model for 'coaching' your own conversations constructively.

While the focus of this group was health care, the model can apply to different kinds of workplaces as well as in personal relationships.
Hope it's helpful.
Katherine Popaleni

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A practical guide to difficult conversations oanhss pp final version

  1. 1. From Challenging to Constructive: A Practical Guide to Difficult Conversations Ontario Association of Non-Profit Homes & Services for Seniors, 2013 ?Respectful Directions © 2013
  2. 2. Introductions & for spending your valuable time with us today! ?Respectful Directions © 2013
  3. 3. Today’s Agenda: Common communication challenges 2. 3 part model to help address situations that are uncomfortable or awkward .. ones you want to avoid, but can’t/shouldn’t. 3. Group work – at your tables. 4. Apply model to case study. 1.
  4. 4. Why This Topic? ?Respectful Directions © 2013
  5. 5. LeadershipTool It will help you:  Build your interpersonal communication skills  Regulate your emotions  Positively affect the “high emotions of others”  Demonstrate respectful leadership  Build cultural (ethnic, occupational, gender, ability, generational) sensitivity & inclusion ?Respectful Directions © 2013
  6. 6. Result … As leaders, these are the expectations placed on you… TRUST + STABILITY ?Respectful Directions © 2013
  7. 7. It’s not Kathy’s fault! ?Respectful Directions © 2013
  8. 8. Human Attribution Error Tend to ascribe our behaviour to circumstances Tend to ascribe behaviour of others to their character ?Respectful Directions © 2013
  9. 9. Small Group Exercise: In a small group, generate some examples where you have noticed the human attribution error dynamic operating in your own life. (family, work, neighbours, friends). ?Respectful Directions © 2013
  10. 10. Human Attribution Error An Action We Perceive or Experience as Negative Them Us ?Respectful They meant it negatively (lazy, unkind, rude.) We were forced to do it (having a bad day, had no choice.) Directions © 2013
  11. 11. So why is this a problem? ?Respectful Directions © 2013
  12. 12. So why is this a problem? ?Respectful Directions © 2013
  13. 13. Human Attribution Error & Problems in Communication   Don’t find out the source of person’s behaviour/situation  Make decisions or take action based on absence of information  ?Respectful Make assumptions Treat the person with judgment and less empathy/humanity Directions © 2013
  14. 14. Michael’s Blackberry …. ?Respectful Directions © 2013
  15. 15. Intent-Action-Effect Model of Communication Private Sphere Intent (reasons, motives) Effect (impact, outcome) ?Respectful Directions Public Sphere Action (words, behaviour, decisions) © 2013
  16. 16. What problems can this mode of communication lead to? ?Respectful Directions © 2013
  17. 17. What steps can you take to improve communication? (Say or do)? ?Respectful Directions © 2013
  18. 18. Small Group Exercise: At your table, brainstorm and list:  ?Respectful Directions What steps could someone take to connect when they notice this mode of communication happening(what could you say, do)? © 2013
  19. 19. ?Respectful Directions © 2013
  20. 20. Conducting a Constructive Conversation: 3 Part Model  Part 1 – Interview yourself about your perspective  Part 2 – Interview yourself about the other person’s perspective  Part 3 – Develop an action plan ?Respectful Directions © 2013
  21. 21. Part 1: Your Perspective? Impact: What is/has been the effect of this situation with _______ on you? What hot buttons of yours are/were pressed by ______’s behaviour/words? What values and needs of yours are/were being undermined/not met in this situation with _____? Intent: What is/was your intent in this situation/dispute with ______? What motives do/did you have for your actions/words? ?Respectful Directions © 2013
  22. 22. Part 2: Your Take on Their Perspective? Impact: What do you suppose may push/may have pushed _______’s hot buttons? How might ______ be affected/have been affected by this situation/dispute? What values/needs of _______’s are being/may have been undermined or unmet in this situation? Intent: What do you think _______’s intent is/was in this situation/dispute? What reasons/motives could _______ have/have had for his/her actions/words? ?Respectful Directions © 2013
  23. 23. Part Three: Plan of Action 4 Steps: 1. How will I connect? 2. Key Messages? 3. Challenges? 4. Approach? ?Respectful Directions © 2013
  24. 24. Watertown Falls LTC Scenario ?Respectful Directions © 2013
  25. 25. What are your observations and insights re: using a structured plan to guide your conversation? ?Respectful Directions © 2013
  26. 26. Practical Applications Where can you can you see yourself using this intentional approach/model? ?Respectful Directions © 2013
  27. 27. Thank you! Katherine Popaleni & Bill Smith www.respectfuldirections.com 905-975-2990 Michael Klejman mklejman@sympatico.ca 905-883-6181

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