2. Background info
• Russian gravediggers or могильщики
(mogil'shchiki) trying to inspect whether Lenin is
a human
• We will be measuring the pH value of his remains
to check whether it matches those of a human's.
We have turned his remains into dissolvable
powdery substance and found out that when
these substances dissolved in water, they contain
a hydrogen ion concentration of 6.96969 * 10^-
7M.
3. Question
• If the pH value of an average human is
between 6.3 to 7.7, find out the pH value of
Lenin's remains according to the formula and
determine whether he is human.
• (pH = -lg[H+])
• Note: H+ is the concentration of hydrogen ions
in mol/dm^3 or M. And thus, determine
whether Lenin is a human.
4. Question 2
• A historian found out that a cell in Lenin's
remains will duplicate once every (3.69*10^2)
days. If a total of 10^30 cells is needed for a
dead body to gain consciousness, find out the
amount of time needed for Lenin to turn into
a zombie after his death.
5. Coroner’s Investigations
• pH 6.156786538
• Just outside the range
• As we mentioned in our flawless analysis
earlier, Lenin is not a human. Instead, he was
discovered as an unknown species of alien
from the planet Bolshevladimirovichkruschev.
• The planet exists. Do not doubt the Kremlin!
6. The Zombification of Lenin
• It will take 2.700271 x 1027 days or
• 7.424731782 x 1024 years.
• Long live Сою́ з Сове́тских
Социалисти́ческих Респу́блик! Long live
Lenin!
