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Have you noticed
   that stairs are
  getting steeper.
   Groceries are
    heavier. And,
     everything
  is further away.
Yesterday I walked
to the corner and I
 was dumbfounded
     to discover
how long our street
    had become! 
And, you know,
    people are less
   considerate now,
especially the young
   ones. They speak
  in whispers all the
time! If you ask them
to speak up they just
    keep repeating
      themselves,
 endlessly mouthing
     the same  silent
     message until
   they're red in the
          face!
 What do they think I
   am, a lip reader?
I also think they
 are much younger
  than I was at the
 same age. On the
other hand, people
my own age are so
 much older than I
  am. I ran into an
old friend the other
  day and she has
aged so much that
   she didn't even
   recognize me.
I got to thinking
  about the poor
 dear while I was
 combing my hair
this morning, and
   in doing so, I
glanced at my own
 reflection…well,
      REALLY
    NOW - even
  mirrors are not
made the way they
    used to be! 
Another thing,
    everyone drives
  so fast these days!
   You're risking life
     and limb if you
 happen to pull onto
 the freeway in front
of them. All I can say
is, their brakes must
wear out awfully fast,
  the way I see them
      screech and
  swerve in my rear
      view mirror.
Clothing manufacturers
 are less civilized these
  days. Why else would
   they suddenly start
labelling a size 10 or 12
  dress as 18 or 20? Do
    they think no one
   notices? The people
   who make bathroom
  scales are pulling the
   same prank. Do they
think I actually 'believe'
the number I see on that
 dial? HA! I would never
  let myself weigh that
much! Just who do these
   people think they're
         fooling? 
I'd like to call up
      someone in
 authority to report
  what's going on --
  but the telephone
company is in on the
    conspiracy too:
 they've printed the
    phone books in
  such  small  type that
  no one could ever
   find a number in
          there!
All I can do is
pass along this
    warning:
WE ARE UNDER
   ATTACK! 

     Unless
   something
    drastic
happens, pretty
 soon everyone
  will have to
  suffer these
     awful
  indignities. 
PLEASE PASS THIS ON TO
  EVERYONE YOU KNOW AS
SOON AS POSSIBLE SO WE CAN
    GET THIS CONSPIRACY
         STOPPED!
  PS: I am sending this to
 you in a larger font size,
 because something has
      happened to my
  computer's fonts - they
are smaller than they once
           were.

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Help stop this craziness

  • 1.
  • 2. Have you noticed that stairs are getting steeper. Groceries are heavier. And, everything is further away. Yesterday I walked to the corner and I was dumbfounded to discover how long our street had become! 
  • 3. And, you know, people are less considerate now, especially the young ones. They speak in whispers all the time! If you ask them to speak up they just keep repeating themselves, endlessly mouthing the same  silent message until they're red in the face! What do they think I am, a lip reader?
  • 4. I also think they are much younger than I was at the same age. On the other hand, people my own age are so much older than I am. I ran into an old friend the other day and she has aged so much that she didn't even recognize me.
  • 5. I got to thinking about the poor dear while I was combing my hair this morning, and in doing so, I glanced at my own reflection…well, REALLY NOW - even mirrors are not made the way they used to be! 
  • 6. Another thing, everyone drives so fast these days! You're risking life and limb if you happen to pull onto the freeway in front of them. All I can say is, their brakes must wear out awfully fast, the way I see them screech and swerve in my rear view mirror.
  • 7. Clothing manufacturers are less civilized these days. Why else would they suddenly start labelling a size 10 or 12 dress as 18 or 20? Do they think no one notices? The people who make bathroom scales are pulling the same prank. Do they think I actually 'believe' the number I see on that dial? HA! I would never let myself weigh that much! Just who do these people think they're fooling? 
  • 8. I'd like to call up someone in authority to report what's going on -- but the telephone company is in on the conspiracy too: they've printed the phone books in such  small  type that no one could ever find a number in there!
  • 9. All I can do is pass along this warning: WE ARE UNDER ATTACK!  Unless something drastic happens, pretty soon everyone will have to suffer these awful indignities. 
  • 10. PLEASE PASS THIS ON TO EVERYONE YOU KNOW AS SOON AS POSSIBLE SO WE CAN GET THIS CONSPIRACY STOPPED! PS: I am sending this to you in a larger font size, because something has happened to my computer's fonts - they are smaller than they once were.